I SAW THE SIGN
The scene cuts to the smiling face of the Canadian Queen of PRIME Interviewing, the redheaded spitfire, Angelica Brooks. The camera pans back revealing that she is standing next to Mortimer Kjedelig whose mouth is heavily bandaged and standing next to a thirtysomething, bespectacled man sporting a Golden Knights baseball cap and a pale yellow Polo shirt. Angelica begins.
Angelica Brooks: Mortimer Kjedelig, at “”Great American Nightmare,” you were a mere seconds away from not only your first victory in PRIME but also capturing the Intense Championship when you were assaulted by Tony Gamble, Hall of Famer. What went through your mind when you realized what had happened?
Mortimer Kjedelig: Mmm-grrr-hrmph.
Bespectacled Man: I don’t think he can speak.
Angelica Brooks: Excuse me, but who are you?
Bespectacled Man: I’m Gene.
Angelica Brooks: Are you authorized to be back here?
Gene: I don’t know. I was minding my own business when I saw the big guy here holding up a sign that said “Does Anyone Speak Sign Language” in the lobby and I teach ASL over at the learning annex on Fifth. Our motto is “Learn Sign Language, It Comes in Handy.” Clever, right?
Mortimer Kjedelig lets out an annoyed grunt.
Gene: So, anyway, I see this guy in the lobby and I figured I’d help him out. I had no idea it would lead me back here! Anyway, he gave me this note that, I assume explains everything?
Mortimer Kjedelig: (nodding) Mm-Hm.
Gene: I assume you want me to read it?
Mortimer Kjedelig nods as Nate unfolds the note, he takes a glance at it.
Gene: Your penmanship is terrible.
Angelica Brooks: What does it say?
Gene: One sec.
Gene pulls his glasses down to the bridge of his nose and peruses the note as Mortimer folds his arms and starts tapping his foot impatiently.
Gene: Okay, so here’s the gist, Tony Gamble apparently attacked Mortimer here with some barbed wire causing extensive damage to his lips and gums which got infected prohibiting him from moving his mouth. He indicates that in the past week he has learned sign language and he has a message for Tony Gamble.
Angelica Brooks: And what is that message?
Gene: I think he wants to sign it and for me to translate.
Mortimer Kjedelig nods.
Angelica Brooks: Mortimer?
Mortimer Kjedelig proceeds to make a series of hand movements and gestures. Gene watches every movement, taking it all in. When Mortimer stops, Gene nods slowly.
Gene: I….don’t think….you want to say that.
Mortimer grabs Gene’s shirt and grunts. Gene’s eyes widen and he reflexively holds up his hands defensively.
Gene: Okay! Okay!
Mortimer releases Gene.
Gene: Just, uh, so I completely understand, can you repeat what you signed?
Mortimer proceeds to repeat his signing move for move exactly. Gene nods and proceeds to translate.
Gene: Mortimer says “I heartbroken sweeping hurt raining fancy zombie clown chop chop radio donkey donkey donkey donkey bucket.”
Mortimer Kjedelig: GRRRRRR!
Gene: What?! That’s what you said! I swear!
Mortimer Kjedelig shoves Gene and points off camera. Gene bolts out of frame to get away from the situation as quickly as possible.
Angelica Brooks: Well, alright then. Do you have any to say to Tony Gamble?
Mortimer brings up his hand and with his forefinger he makes a slashing sign across his throat and walks off as the scene ends.