IF YOU’RE FEELING GASSY, FART!
We cut backstage after another Tropical Turmoil qualifier match, considered by many people to be a waste of time since there was such blatant favoritism shown with management’s chosen participants. Four of the five people currently walking down one of the corridors are those people, though there is a good chance that the fifth person would also agree if asked his opinion in front of the other four.
Ladies and gentle… wait can we say that anymore?
Let’s be safe and just say… Hey everyone, it’s the Gamble Adoration Syndicate and their under review, unbiased, personal interviewer Johnnie Newsman already in the middle of a deep and meaningful discussion.
Johnnie Newsman: I mean…it’s okay…you know…but like…I’m not really feeling it.
Tony Gamble: You’re not feeling it?
Mortgomery Byrnes: I’m under the preposition that the name which was, with much forthought, formulatterily chosen is quite appro bono. A home run.
Johnnie Newsman: Don’t get me wrong, it’s great name, better than Charlie Chicken-Nuggets, but doesn’t get meuh…
Johnnie suddenly gets shoved aside and onto the ground, as someone barges past him with only one thing in mind…taking out Tony.
Tony Gamble: Son of a Bolamba!
Indeed, it is Eddie Cross that swings a kendo stick at the head of The Grin. Unable to make contact though, as Gamble evades the weapon by dropping backwards onto the floor. Instead, the wild swing comes in contact with the shoulder of one half of BANG!’s up and coming tag team No Laughing Matter; Frank Pastore.
Frank Pastore: Mother…
Focused on the hall of famer scrambling to get to his feet, Eddie does not notice the bald headed member of the G.A.S. lunging at him from behind.
Domingo Cruz: Got you, you little shit.
Wrapping his arms at his side with a bear hug, Cruz struggles a bit to keep him contained as Frank rolls his shoulder a few times. Mortgomery helps Tony to his feet, before straightening out his coat and draping the Gamble Championship over his shoulder.
Eddie Cross: Let me go you penis headed looking mother…GAMBLE!
Tony Gamble: That’s not the word I’m used to hearing after mother, but if the shoe fits…
Pastore walks over and grabs a hold of one of Eddie’s arms, giving Cruz a chance to get a better hold on the other one.
Tony Gamble: Maybe I can make it my new shirt.
A quick nod from Tony is the only thing needed for the Gamble Champion to drive a fist into Cross’ gut.
Johnnie Newsman: Ouuuuch! That looks like it hurt.
Morty opens his fist and shakes his hand out.
Mortgomery Byrnes: Not in the least. Is there any ice around, unrelatedly speakin’?
Johnnie Newsman: Of course, would you like a cold beverage as well…Fresca? Perhaps a pop? Or soda, as they say in the Northeast?
Tony Gamble: I’m down for a Fresca. What about you Eddie, would you like anything?
Tony approaches Eddie, crouching down in front of him as he wrestles to get loose. To no avail though, as the grip on his arms tightens.
Eddie Cross: Yooouuu..…uuugghhhh.
This time it is Tony’s turn to drive a fist into Eddie’s gut, and as he struggles to catch his breath Tony presses a finger to his lips.
Tony Gamble: Now, now, let’s stay level headed. No reason to let your mouth write a check you are in no condition to cash.
Tony stands up, rubbing his chin as he speaks.
Tony Gamble: I know you’re angry about what happened with Dave, and charging at me with that kendo stick was your big plan to get revenge for it. Look at you now…
The Grin chuckles softly as he shakes his head.
Tony Gamble: You want a piece of me, Eddie? You want to make me pay for hurting Ol’ Davey Boy…I’ve given you a chance to join us, to better yourself not only inside the ring, but how you handle yourself outside of it as well.
Eddie Cross: Go…to…hell…
Tony Gamble: Such anger. I really don’t understand why you dislike me so much, Eddie. It’s not like I put people in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives, or terrorize women by beating their lovers within an inch of their lives like some people who shall not be named. No, you are angry because I hurt poor little Dave, but you only have yourself to blame for that Eddie.
Gamble crouches down once more, just out of Eddie’s reach.
Tony Gamble: You decided to succumb to Anna’s peer pressure and put your hands on me. That was your first mistake. Your second, was thinking I was going to let you get away with it. Now here we are, because you’re still making the same stupid mistake.
The Grin grabs Eddie by the chin, steadying his face in order to look into his eyes.
Tony Gamble: Don’t be like your father, Eddie…pull out while you’re ahead.
Eddie Cross: You’re just…scared of…facing me one on one.
Tony Gamble: I’d make you look like an even bigger fool than you already are. Fear, Eddie, is not something I feel when I look at you. Sympathy, maybe, but definitely not fear. The beating you suffered in your match against Mr. Byrnes is nothing compared to what you’d suffer if you stepped into the ring with me.
A few quick slaps to the cheek from Tony, as Cross once again tries to wriggle free unsuccessfully.
Tony Gamble: Consider yourself lucky that you’ll never get the opportunity to feel it first hand, because you are not worthy of my time…much less my effort.
Tony stands up, nodding to Frank and Dom who understand exactly what the simple motion means. They drag Eddie away as Johnnie hands Tony a Fresca.
Tony Gamble: So about that name.