IMPULSE vs. THE ANGLO LUCHADOR
Event: ReVival 7
Event Date: 05/06/2022
IMPULSE vs. THE ANGLO LUCHADOR
ReVival returns to in-ring action as the fans who had been stocking up on delicious confectionery treats of all varieties rush back to the ring. The spotlight shines upon Vince Howard as he readies himself for the next bout and a small buzz sweeps through the crowd.
Nick Stuart: The fans are excited for what we’re about to see, and who could blame them. It’s not often we get a match designed to be clean cut action between peers but a Jabber exchange has brought us just that as The Anglo Luchador is set to take on THE number one contender, Impulse.
Richard Parker: It’s like I’ve always said Nick, Jabber should be burnt to the ground and salt thrown upon its ashes so nothing should ever grow from it again…
Nick Stuart: You may not be a fan of the social media service but it’s certainly bringing unique opportunities to the PRIME ring! With that said… let’s hand it over to Vince Howard for the introductions.
The arena darkens. The first dabs of the organ intro to “Oye Como Va” by Santana fill the arena as purple and green lights strobe while the telltale mask of the Anglo Luchador rotate on the PRIMEview behind. Smoke begins to waft across the entryway as the instrumental beginning of the song swells into its big climax. Right before the lyrics sound, The Anglo Luchador appears from the back, looking out at the crowd.
Vince Howard: The following contest is scheduled for one fall… introducing first, making his way to the ring at this time, he weighed in tonight at two hundred and nine pounds… THE ANGLOOOOOOO LUCHADOOOOR!
Nick Stuart: You have to imagine dreams of Balaam are still haunting The Anglo Luchador after his Culture Shock confrontation with the monster under Hoyt Williams’ guidance. How do you enter this match against Impulse with a clear head?
Richard Parker: That cheap masked fool? It’s a miracle he can even find the ring, I find it impossible to believe he would have any thoughts rattling around the hamster that replaced his brain some years ago.
The Anglo Luchador exhales and bows his head before he takes his final stride towards the ring. As he starts his march towards the ring, TAL hands off flyers encouraging fans to vote for him and Ria Nightshade at the Great American Nightmare for the Intense Championship.
Nick Stuart: He may dream of monsters but that won’t stop him encouraging voters…
Richard Parker: Exactly, he’s a typical politician.
As TAL steps into the ring, two banners drop down around the entrance way, it’s hard to make out what they say however, as they immediately fall to the floor.
Richard Parker: You get what you pay for.
The Anglo Luchador doesn’t allow this situation to distract him from his goal as he steps into the ring with a steely look clear in the eyes behind the mask. As the tones of Santana fade away, “Cannonball” by SIRSY fills the arena, and a blue – and – purple strobe combination lights up the entranceway.
Nick Stuart: And here’s Luchador’s opponent, the Universal Championship number one contender, Impulse. You have to imagine that a win over Impulse would skyrocket Luchador’s campaign to get his match with Ria Nightside be determined as the Intense Championship match.
Richard Parker: A lot of people have thought they could use Impulse to make a point and it hasn’t worked for anyone yet. He has continued to fight his way to the top of the ladder. The question is whether Impulse is looking too far ahead and lets The Anglo Luchador take the lead here.
As the first verse hits the midway point, the second set of “HEY HEY,” Impulse walks out to the top of the ramp, Calico Rose a step behind him. He stops and looks around, nodding his appreciation, while Cally takes an exaggerated bow. The song hits the chorus at about the time the duo begin their walk to the ring. Impulse slaps an errant hand here and there, but Cally does her best to greet every fan at ringside, occasionally stopping to catch up to the Marathon Man.
Vince Howard: And his opponent… the man who is the Number One Contender to the Universal Championship, he weighs in tonight at one hundred and ninety three pounds… IMPULSSSSE!
Nick Stuart: The Luchador with a slight weight and height advantage but this is going to be a very even match. We’re not looking at another Balaam situation here.
Richard Parker: Sadly not…
On reaching the ringside area, Impulse is up on the ring apron first, holding the ropes for Cally to step through, and she returns the favor. He hands his leather jacket to a ring attendant, and takes off his T-shirt and tosses it into the crowd, ready for action. Jimmy Turnbull quickly performs his last minute checks on Impulse and TAL and then quickly hops back to the middle of the ring and signals for the bell.
The match starts off with both men feeling each other out, TAL and Impulse both pacing around the outer edges of the ring and trying to spot if their opponent has left them an opening. The two continue to jockey for position for a few moments as the fans begin buzzing. An excited air sweeps through the MGM Grand, no real chants for one competitor or another but just a general sense of excitement of the match they’re about to witness. A stray fan yells “WHOOO I LOVE BALAAM” and TAL snaps his attention out of the ring for the briefest of seconds but that section quickly drowns out the man who is definitely not affiliated with Hoyt Williams with some good old fashioned rhythmic clapping. Impulse decides to try and make the first opening move, getting close enough to The Luchador to throw an elbow but The Anglo Luchador is able to quickly hop back and out of the way. As Impulse tries to throw a second elbow, TAL manages to block and grab Impulse’s arm, slipping behind him and wrenching in a hammerlock. Impulse is incredibly close to the ropes and quickly grabs the top rope with his free hand, causing Jimmy Turnbull to call for the break, which TAL is quick to honour.
Nick Stuart: No one is able to find an opening to the starting moments of this contest.
Richard Parker: You can see why Impulse might be cautious, he knows his date with destiny is waiting at the Great American Nightmare but The Anglo Luchador’s voters are watching this match and want to know what makes him INTENSE. He needs to stamp his vicious streak into the memories of the viewers.
As if he can hear the words of Richard Parker, The Anglo Luchador takes a few steps back for the break but as Impulse turns back around to face him, quickly fires a knife edge chop right across the Number One Contender’s chest. Impulse winces for a split second in pain, but responds with a forearm right to the jaw, sending Luchador staggering backwards. TAL tilts his head slightly and smiles as he responds with another hard chop to the rest of Impulse. Impulse smashes another forearm into TAL, almost as if his body was automatically responding to the pain of the chop. The second forearm to the jaw staggers The Anglo Luchador enough that Impulse is able to slip behind him. Impulse tries to roll Luchador down to the mat, grabbing TAL’s left leg but Luchador manages to drill the pointy part of his elbow in Impulse’s skull, causing him to let go of the grip. TAL sees an opening and quickly takes the stunned Impulse and locks him in a La Magistral cradle.
Nick Stuart: And Impulse manages to break free! These two men have certainly come ready to fight!
Richard Parker: …unlike the Ballet Dancing we had earlier, Nick?
Nick Stuart: Well, we did have Survivor and…
We thankfully avoid any future mental scarring with references to Survivor earlier in the night by what sounds like a shotgun but turns out to by the uppercut that Impulse drills into the Luchador as both men find an even base. Luchador rubs his jaw in frustration and rushes towards Impulse in frustration, but is met with a drop top hold instead. For the second time in the match, Impulse follows through to the leg and this time manages to successfully roll into a single leg crab. Impulse pulls himself up and wrenches back as tightly as he can as the pain is evident for The Anglo Luchador, even behind the mask. Anglo Luchador slaps the mat to fight through the pain and the fans join in slapping the mat, showing support for the older competitor. Jimmy Turnbull goes down to check but Luchador refuses to quit.
Nick Stuart: It’s amazing to see Luchador fight through the pain here, he’s clearly been continuing to train his body and hone it ready for matches like this.
Richard Parker: Sales of Warmcold are either skyrocketing or plummeting based on this match, I’m just not sure which.
The fans continue to clap and stomp in their support for The Anglo Luchador as he refuses to quit and fights his way towards the ropes. Impulse tries his best to keep the hold locked in tight, but the further he wrenches, the more sweat pours out of him, causing his grip to loosen. It’s not enough to break the hold but it is enough to give TAL the scope to move forward towards the ropes. Impulse notices Luchador close to the ropes and stands up, trying to drag him back towards the middle of the ring but Luchador is able to instinctively cradle Impulse.
Nick Stuart: And Impulse is able to break free from another of The Anglo Luchador’s tight packages.
Richard Parker: Not touching that one, this is a family show.
Impulse breaks out of the cradle in a way that creates a decent amount of distance between the two competitors. TAL uses the ropes to help him get back up to an even footing, looking a little bit hobbled and worse for wear in the knee department after a reasonable amount of time locked in Impulse’s crab. Impulse wants to keep the attack up but as he moves towards TAL, The Luchador is able to grab him and lock him in a headlock, using a judo-esque throw to toss Impulse down to the mat. The Anglo Luchador rubs on his left knee a little, clearly feeling a little worse for wear but is undeterred. With Impulse on the mat, TAL grabs him by the wrist and starts to guide him back towards his feet.
Nick Stuart: The Anglo Luchador has wrist control! He could be looking for that Drizzle-Maker of his.
Richard Parker: Wrist control? Wrist control is what matters here? Absurd! Who would ever care about that.
The Anglo Luchador keeps a tight hold of Impulse’s wrist as Impulse gets back up to an even base and waits for a few seconds. The moment that inspiration strikes, The Anglo Luchador tries to pull the ripcord but Impulse manages to duck under the swing of the right cross by the veteran.
Nick Stuart: The speed of Impulse allowed him to dodge what was looking to be a brutal right cross from The Anglo Luchador!
Richard Parker: But Luchador still has control! Perhaps there’s something to this wrist clutch business!
Even though Impulse managed to avoid the wild swing from The Anglo Luchador, Luchador still managed to keep hold of Impulse’s wrist. As Impulse ducks out of the way, Luchador manages to spin a pivot, whipping Impulse right in the corner of the ring with great authority that causes some of the crowd to react by going “oooh”. Impulse clutches his back in agony and seeing that this is doing the job, The Anglo Luchador fires Impulse into the opposing corner too with all of his might. Impulse manages to turn just before he hits the corner, allowing the impact to hit his back rather than his chest.
Nick Stuart: A little vicious glint in the eyes of The Anglo Luchador here, he saw that Impulse was hit hard by making contact with the turnbuckle and decided to keep up the game plan.
Richard Parker: I’m not sure if a little smile after inflicting pain will get him and Ria Nightshade the Intense Championship match, he may have to go deeper and darker if he wants those votes considering the psychopaths running around the MGM Grand.
With Impulse in the corner, The Anglo Luchador rushes towards him with the speed of a man twenty years young and hops onto his opponent, flipping him over with a monkey flip. TAL lands on both feet but suddenly buckles, clearly still feeling the effects of the earlier submission hold. As The Luchador turns around, nursing his knee slightly, he hasn’t noticed that Impulse flipped through and landed right back on his feet too. Before The Anglo Luchador can do anything…
Nick Stuart: Sudden Impact! It looks like The Anglo Luchador landed the wrong way after the monkey flip and he gave Impulse just enough space to strike.
Almost surprised at his own speed, Impulse watches The Anglo Luchador crumble to the ground. Not wanting to take any chances, he quickly drops to the mat and hooks both legs, putting all of his weight behind the pin. Jimmy Turnbull goes for the count.
Nick Stuart: And it’s enough to do it!
Richard Parker: Impulse showed his fast reflexes to pick up the win here but even I have to admit that I’m impressed by the fight that The Anglo Luchador brought here.
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Here is your winner by pinfall at a time of fourteen minutes and twenty six seconds… IMPUUUUUUULLLSE!
Impulse hops up from the pin, allowing Jimmy Turnbull to raise his hand in the sky.
Nick Stuart: Whether it’s Brandon Youngblood or Cancer Jiles as Universal Champion come Great American Nightmare, Impulse is sending them a message – one opening, one slip up is all it takes for Impulse to be the next champion.
Richard Parker: I have to wonder if The Anglo Luchador’s condition didn’t play a factor in the ending here. All the brutal assaults and beatdowns he has been through recently… he can’t be recovering quickly from them.
Impulse extends a hand to The Anglo Luchador as Luchador pulls himself back together. The camera fades on a respectful shaking of the hands between the two competitors and a wave of applause from the fans.