INTENSE TITLE MATCH: FLAMBERGE (C) VS. CHANDLER TSONDA
After that… intro… we probably should just call it a night, right?
Sigh
Vince Howard: The following match is one fall… and is for the INTENSE CHAMPIONSHIP!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: A doozy of a match coming up here as FLAMBERGE, who hasn’t lost since UltraViolence 2022, will defend his Intense Championship against the PRIME Hall of Famer, Chandler Tsonda.
Richard Parker: I… am still shocked by what we saw. All the necks.
Nick Stuart: The warpath that FLAMBERGE has been on over the past year has been impressive as ten victims have fallen to him in that time and he is looking to add an eleventh to his mantle tonight.
Richard Parker: Why… so many… necks?
Vince Howard: Introducing first, the challenger…
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
“I said ‘kiss me, you’re beautiful’
These are truly the last days'”
The weathered voice from the beginning of Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s “Dead Flag Blues” fades into the short acoustic section that begins Coheed & Cambria’s “Welcome Home.” After twelve seconds, the guitars thunder in and start to kick ass, as gold and green pyro goes off in perfect timing with the power riffs.
As the PRIME*View displays the words “Model Citizen” in white over a black background, Tsonda swaggers out from behind the curtain. He soaks up the fan’s reaction at the top of the ramp, smirk painted across his face. And amidst the haze of pyro, smoke, and green & gold lights, he sprints to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope, and finally acknowledges his opponent. Tsonda bounces on his toes, mouthing something that’s inaudible to anyone but him.
Vince Howard: Weighing in at a 187 pounds and standing at five feet and eleven inches tall, he hails from San Diego, California by way of Hanoi, Vietnam… CHANDLER! TSOOOOOOOOOOOONDA!
Nick Stuart: Tsonda has got his work cut out for him tonight. Since returning at Culture Shock, he hasn’t quite had a match as big as this.
Richard Parker: He’s going to want the gold here tonight to add to his resume, maybe even get himself inducted into the Hall of Fame for a second time.
Nick Stuart: …is that something he can do?
Richard Parker: I’m sure he’s angling it with Lindsay Troy right now.
Vince Howard: And his opponent…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“Oh La La” hits into high gear as FLAMBERGE walks with glorious purpose towards the ring, Intense Championship belt affixed around his waist.
Vince Howard: And his opponent, he is the reigning and defending PRIME Intense Champion, weighing in at 206 pounds and hailing from Strasbourg, France, representing the Glueminati, FLAMMMMMMMMMMMMBERGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Nick Stuart: Hate him all you want, but the man has been one of the most impressive wrestlers of the past year in a sea of impressive wrestlers.
Richard Parker: Yes, Nick, but necks.
Nick Stuart: You have a neck. I have a neck.
Richard Parker: Yes, but for how long?!
Elvis Nixon takes the Intense Championship from FLAMBERGE and holds it high for everyone to see before handing it to the timekeeper. He issues his final set of instructions to both FLAMBERGE and Chandler Tsonda before signaling for the start of the match.
DING DING
FLAMBERGE and Tsonda meet in the center of the ring with FLAMBERGE speaking in French to the PRIME Hall of Famer. Chandler doesn’t seem too entertained by the words coming out of the Intense Champion’s face as the brash star inches closer and closer to Tsonda until their noses are mere inches away from each other. FLAMBERGE keeps chirping and Chandler uncocks a slap across the Intense Champion’s face that echoes throughout the Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse.
THWACK!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Nick Stuart: Clearly Tsonda didn’t take too kindly to whatever FLAMBERGE was saying.
Richard Parker: …do you know what FLAMBERGE was saying?
Nick Stuart: I do not.
Richard Parker: Do you think Tsonda knows what FLAMBERGE was saying?
Nick Stuart: I don’t think Tsonda cares.
Richard Parker: Good point.
FLAMBERGE’s head remains cocked to the side for a moment as he checks to make sure he has all of his TEEF left inside of his head. He rubs the spot where Tsonda’s palm met his face before he turns back and connects with a double leg takedown on Tsonda before slamming forearm after forearm into the beautiful face of Tsonda. Chandler quickly covers up, having expected this out of the French superstar. Tsonda manages to find an opening in FLAMBERGE’s flurry and slips his arms around the Intense Champion’s and connects with a side headbutt that forces FLAMBERGE off of him.
Nick Stuart: And Tsonda realizing he’s going to have to get physical and nasty with FLAMBERGE in order to have a chance in this match.
Richard Parker: FLAMBERGE is this weird mix of grace and intensity that you never quite know what version of him you’re going to get.
Nick Stuart: Except for the necks, Rich.
Richard Parker: Why did you have to remind me?
Tsonda wastes no time as he mounts FLAMBERGE and manages to fire off a series of elbow strikes to his face before FLAMBERGE manages to plant his feet into the chest of the PRIME Hall of Hamer and kicks him away. Tsonda crashes to the mat, but is quick to his feet as he meets FLAMBERGE with a forearm strike that stops FLAMBERGE dead in his tracks and follows it up with a knee to the midsection before putting him into a gut-wrench position before flipping him back onto his knee, stomach first. FLAMBERGE rolls around in pain as Tsonda sizes him up and drops a knee across his ribcage.
Nick Stuart: Tsonda fast and furious out of the gates to start this match and that has definitely put FLAMBERGE on his back foot.
Richard Parker: Intense Championship rules means anything goes basically. Needless to say, FLAMBERGE is going to use that to his advantage in this match.
Nick Stuart: I would think so…
Richard Parker: Do you think Tsonda remembers the rules?
Nick Stuart: I think he does…
The Intense Champion rolls out under the bottom rope, not thrilled by how this match has gone thus far. Tsonda watches as he circles the ring before stepping around Elvis Nixon and stepping to the outside. Chandler manages to block a fist from FLAMBERGE and unloads with one of his own. The shot stuns FLAMBERGE for a moment before he tackles Tsonda into the barricade, driving the air out of the former Universal Champion. FLAMBERGE gets to a vertical base and plants his boot into the chest of Tsonda, repeatedly. Each stomp is stiffer than the last until Tsonda is lying back first on the ringside mat. FLAMBERGE then uses the barricade to hoist himself up before he drops a knee across the sternum of his opponent.
Nick Stuart: Such brutality from FLAMBERGE–
Richard Parker: It’s what we’ve come to expect out of him over the past year though.
Nick Stuart: True. Unbeaten during that time, if he wins here tonight, he could snap the longest unbeaten streak currently held by–
Richard Parker: No, no. We don’t say his name around here.
FLAMBERGE reaches down and pulls Tsonda up to his feet before bashing his face into the ringside barricade. Chandler stumbles away, trying to wipe the cobwebs out of his eyes, but FLAMBERGE remains on him, grabbing the back of his head and attempting to slam it into the ring apron. Chandler though manages to block it before drilling his elbow into the ribcage of the Intense Champion. FLAMBERGE turns away, but as he does so it gives Tsonda the opening as he grabs the back of FLAMBERGE’s head and bounces it off the steel post, sending the champion crashing to the floor. Tsonda winds up and kicks FLAMBERGE square in the rib cage before standing over him.
Richard Parker: Tsonda is giving it as much as he gets it, which is impressive.
Nick Stuart: Impressive indeed considering Tsonda is a more graceful wrestler, not the in-your-face style that we’ve seen from FLAMBERGE since bursting onto the scene here in PRIME.
Richard Parker: I take it Tsonda has done some homework.
Nick Stuart: Tsonda is a veteran of the ring and has had more matches in his career than FLAMBERGE could dream of.
As Tsonda reaches down to pull FLAMBERGE off of the mat, FLAMBERGE pulls him down to him before rolling him onto his back and putting him into a rear naked chokehold. Tsonda doesn’t panic though. His face grimaces as he calmly puts his hand under the arm of FLAMBERGE and begins to pry it off of him. FLAMBERGE retaliates with a series of forearm strikes to the abdomen of the former Universal Champion. Tsonda rolls off of FLAMBERGE, coughing as FLAMBERGE pulls himself up to his feet and snaps his boot across the back of Tsonda’s head.
Richard Parker: Blood and guts on aisle one…
Nick Stuart: Not that bad yet, but you can tell that Tsonda has been studying FLAMBERGE and he didn’t panic when that rear naked chokehold came from him. He knew exactly what to do.
Richard Parker: So did FLAMBERGE as he used Tsonda’s focus elsewhere to attack him in his abdomen, driving the air out of him.
NIck Stuart: Both men are cerebral combatants and are always playing a game of chess with each other.
FLAMBERGE yanks Tsonda off of the mat and hits him with a succession of palm strikes before connecting with a high angle hip toss that sends Tsonda bouncing off the mat. Tsonda lays on his stomach as FLAMBERGE walks up behind him and pulls his head up before slamming his forearm across his face. Tsonda collapses back onto the mat as FLAMBERGE drives his boot into the lower back of his opponent. As he rolls Tsonda onto his back, Tsonda drives the edge of a steel chair into his leg, dropping the Intense Champion to one knee.
Richard Parker: So, confirmed, Tsonda does know the rules here.
Nick Stuart: That he does as he pulls a steel chair out from under the ring and drives it into the knee of FLAMBERGE!
Richard Parker: Maybe that will be Tsonda’s thing. Knees.
Nick Stuart: No.
Tsonda rises to his feet with the steel chair in hand and goes to crack it across the back of FLAMBERGE, but the Intense Champion plants a fist into Tsonda’s midsection, forcing him to drop the chair. FLAMBERGE then connects with his second high-angle hip toss, but this time onto the steel chair, causing Tsonda to shoot up in pain as he feels the reverberations through his body. FLAMBERGE plants the end of his boot into the spine of the challenger before scooping him up and connecting with a bodyslam onto the steel chair.
Nick Stuart: And now, FLAMBERGE is using that chair to his advantage.
Richard Parker: That’s always the tricky part when you introduce weapons into a match — it can come back and bite you.
Nick Stuart: Did you say bite you? Like a vampire? You know, necks.
Richard Parker: I hate you.
FLAMBERGE moves to the ring apron and digs underneath the ring before pulling out another steel chair. He grabs it by the leg and walks back to Tsonda before cracking the steel chair across his ribcage. Tsonda rolls around in pain, the cold steel meeting his skin from both ends. FLAMBERGE reaches down and centers Tsonda on the chair again before cracking the steel chair across his rib cage and torso again, to great effect as Tsonda rolls away from FLAMBERGE. The Intense Champion stalks him though before driving the edge of the steel chair into his ribcage.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE taking it right to Tsonda, looking to bruise and batter him on his way to retaining the Intense Championship.
Richard Parker: It’s like he’s playing with his food.
Nick Stuart: What do you think that FLAMBERGE likes to eat?
Richard Parker: Go. Away.
Tsonda, in a world of pain, grabs the ringside barricade to help him back up to his feet. FLAMBERGE just watches on as Tsonda grimaces in pain. As Tsonda reaches a vertical base, FLAMBERGE cracks the chair across his back.
CRACK!
Chandler arches his back in pain as he tries to stumble away from FLAMBERGE, but the Intense Champion cracks the chair across his back once again. Tsonda shakes his head, trying to create some distance, but to no avail as FLAMBERGE cracks the chair across his back once again.
CRACK!
Tsonda freezes where he’s at, the pain too much. FLAMBERGE cocks the chair again as he begins to swing it towards Chandler, the challenger fires off a superkick that sends the chair flying back into the face of these Intense Champion!
CRACK!
Nick Stuart: What a superkick from Tsonda, giving him new life in this match.
Richard Parker: I would call that desperation from Tsonda.
Nick Stuart: He’s a wily veteran, he knew exactly what he was doing.
Richard Parker: I’m not even sure that Tsonda knows what city he is in right now.
Both men are slow to their feet, with Tsonda managing to be the first one up to his feet. He grabs a slow-to-rise FLAMBERGE and connects with a forearm strike across the jaw that is teeth-rattling. Tsonda then grabs FLAMBERGE by the back of the skull and slams him face first into the ringside apron before spinning him around and connecting with a knife-edge chop. With FLAMBERGE leaning against the edge of the ring, Tsonda unloads with a spinning back elbow that drops FLAMBERGE to his knees.
Richard Parker: This is a side of Tsonda we haven’t seen at least since his comeback and you’d be hard pressed to find a match where he laid out his brutality as much as he is here tonight.
Nick Stuart: You can tell he knows what’s at stake here tonight. He doesn’t want some brash kid to take their one victory over Chandler Tsonda, PRIME Hall of Famer, and make his bones off of it.
Richard Parker: …bones? Did you say bones on purpose?
Nick Stuart: Hip bones. Neck bones. Whatever floats your boat.
Tsonda reaches down to grab FLAMBERGE and gets an elbow to his midsection for his troubles. FLAMBERGE then rushes at the stunned Tsonda only for Chandler to lift him into the air and drop him throat first across the ringside barricade. While FLAMBERGE grabs his throat in pain, Chandler reaches up towards FLAMBERGE, wraps his arm around his neck, and drives him to the ground with a knee to the back that leaves FLAMBERGE in agony.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE is starting to find himself in a ditch that he may not be able to climb out of.
Richard Parker: FLAMBERGE knows all about ditches, he’s Phil Atken’s protege. Atken has taught him all he needs to know about ditches. FLAMBERGE is the ditch expert.
Nick Stuart: That’s a weird thing to be an expert of, but I guess it’s better than being a neck expert.
Richard Parker: …damn you.
Tsonda gets back up to his feet, his body feeling the impact of this match, and he reaches down and pulls FLAMBERGE up to his feet before rolling him back into the ring. Elvis Nixon moves out of the way as Tsonda springboards into the ring and connects with a leg drop across the throat of the Intense Champion. FLAMBERGE rolls around in the ring, pain searing him, as Tsonda hooks his leg and goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THR– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: And Tsonda nearly pulls off the victory there, snapping FLAMBERGE’s streak and walking out of here with the Intense Championship.
Richard Parker: I’m not saying that Tsonda winning would be an upset, but it would definitely be something that makes people look on in surprise, that’s for sure.
Nick Stuart: That says more about how dominant FLAMBERGE has been over the past year than anything about Tsonda, who has been nothing short of impressive since his return.
Richard Parker: It’s been interesting to see the old school versus the new school and this is just another example of it.
Tsonda slowly makes his way to his feet and drags FLAMBERGE up with him before whipping him into the corner and connecting with a running clothesline. Tsonda then grabs FLAMBERGE’s wrist and whips him across the ring before attempting another running clothesline. FLAMBERGE though connects with an elbow to the jaw of the former Universal Champion.
Tsonda stumbles away, in a pain, while FLAMBERGE hops onto the second turnbuckle. As Tsonda turns around, FLAMBERGE launches himself with a flying clothesline only for Tsonda to move out of the way. FLAMBERGE hits the canvas and as he bounces back up, Tsonda spins him around and connects with a stalling lift implant DDT. Tsonda then goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: And another NEAR fall there for Tsonda after hitting the Golgotha Drop on FLAMBERGE!
Richard Parker: Not going to lie, the people here in Cleveland definitely thought it was over. I haven’t seen them get that excited since they won the NBA Championship like a million years ago.
Nick Stuart: Are you trying to get locked in someone’s basement around here?
Richard Parker: Depends on the basement.
Nick Stuart: …gross.
Tsonda makes his way to his feet and watches as FLAMBERGE, clearly not sure where he’s at, stumbles to his feet. Tsonda connects with a forearm strike that FLAMBERGE is unable to defend against. He connects with a second one that drops FLAMBERGE to one knee. Tsonda urges FLAMBERGE back to his feet and FLAMBERGE obliges. Tsonda goes for another forearm strike, but FLAMBERGE dodges out of the way before grabbing Chandler’s wrist and connecting with a hammerlock suplex!
Richard Parker: And FLAMBERGE figures out that he needs to put some offense into this match in order to win.
Nick Stuart: I think he knew that, but Tsonda has been taking it to him. That reversal came at the right time for FLAMBERGE, who needs to stall the momentum of the Hall of Famer.
Richard Parker: If Tsonda is able to close the door quickly enough on FLAMBERGE though, that might be it for the Intense Champion.
Nick Stuart: Oh, you know the Glue Man Group are around somewhere to make sure that doesn’t happen.
FLAMBERGE moves to the outside and reaches under the ring apron before producing a kendo stick. He slides in under the bottom rope and as Tsonda rises to his feet, he cracks it across his abdomen.
THWACK!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tsonda groans in pain as he doubles over from the shot, which gives FLAMBERGE the opening to crack the kendo stick across Tsonda’s back. Repeatedly. Until blood begins to trickle out of Tsonda’s back and the former Universal Champion is lying flat on the mat. FLAMBERGE then reaches down and wraps the kendo stick around the throat of Tsonda and yanks back.
Nick Stuart: Is that a submission move?
Richard Parker: Sure, why not?
Nick Stuart: Well, FLAMBERGE attacking the throat and neck of the Hall of Famer.
Richard Parker: Could you not?!
FLAMBERGE then lifts Tsonda off of the mat and pushes him into the corner before he unloads on him with another kendo shot to the abdomen, causing the stick to splinter. Tsonda stumbles out of the ring, where FLAMBERGE connects with a gutwrench suplex. As Tsonda sits up, pain wracking his body, FLAMBERGE bounces off the ropes and connects with a running knee to the back of Tsonda’s skull, causing the challenger to slump over from the shot.
CRACK!
FLAMBERGE immediately goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: And I thought that was it for a moment!
Richard Parker: Yeah, well when someone cracks the back of someone’s skull like that, it normally is. Tsonda just happens to be a freak of nature that refuses to stay down until someone puts him down for good.
Nick Stuart: …is that an offer?
Richard Parker: Hell no. I need to learn his moisturizer routine though. Need to look that young.
Nick Stuart: I think it’s a bit late for you.
Richard Parker: …ass.
FLAMBERGE rises to his feet and brings Tsonda along with him. He then whips him into the ropes and connects with a spinebuster that lays Tsonda flat out. FLAMBERGE then bounces back to his feet and flies off the ropes before connecting with an elbow across Tsonda’s sternum. The Hall of Famer rolls over onto his stomach as FLAMBERGE mounts him and wraps him into a rear naked choke for the second time. Tsonda immediately scrambles to the ropes until he manages to slip through the bottom rope, forcing FLAMBERGE to break the hold.
Nick Stuart: Now FLAMBERGE is firmly in the driver’s seat here. Tsonda knew he had to get out of the ring in a hurry or he would be the eleventh person added to the list.
Richard Parker: Tsonda, as much punishment as he has taken, is still aware of where he’s at and that’s rather impressive.
Nick Stuart: Yes, especially considering you couldn’t figure out how to get to the arena with two GPS devices telling you where to go.
Richard Parker: Look, it’s hard to figure your way out around here. It all looks gray and drab and depressing!
FLAMBERGE makes his way to the ring apron and watches as Tsonda makes his way to his feet, slowly. As he turns towards FLAMBERGE, Tsonda is met with a flying knee off the ring apron that sends both men crashing to the floor.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FLAMBERGE is quick to his feet, snapping his boot across the back of Tsonda’s skull. Chandler tries to get away from the Intense Champion, but FLAMBERGE, sensing blood in the water, stalks him before snapping his boot across the back of Tsonda’s skull once again. FLAMBERGE then yanks him off of the mat and whips him into the ringside barricade, the documented back injuries of Tsonda not worth a single damn to FLAMBERGE.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Parker: FLAMBERGE ratcheting up the intensity here and it seems like Tsonda isn’t able to keep up with it.
Nick Stuart: He’s definitely taking it to the Hall of Famer and it makes you wonder how much Tsonda has left in the tank.
Richard Parker: Zero, Nick. Zero.
Nick Stuart: Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
The Intense Champion walks over to Tsonda and cracks a knife-edge chop across the chest of the challenger. Tsonda grimaces in pain. FLAMBERGE plants his boot repeatedly into the midsection of Tsonda until Chandler is basically hanging onto the metal barricade. FLAMBERGE takes a few steps back and rushes at Tsonda, looking for a clothesline, but Chandler manages to dip his shoulder and send FLAMBERGE over the barricade and onto the unforgiving concrete. As FLAMBERGE gets to his feet, dazed by the sudden reversal, he turns around and is helpless in stopping Tsonda as he springboards off the ringside barricade and connects with a flying head-scissors that sends FLAMBERGE flying into a seat of just-vacated chairs.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: And right on time…
Richard Parker: Had to give Tsonda some ammunition, motivation.
Nick Stuart: He can’t even hear you.
Richard Parker: Yeah, but we’ve got a telepathic link after all of these years.
Nick Stuart: Poor Chandler…
As FLAMBERGE stumbles to his feet, he’s met with a dropkick that sends him into a seated position on one of the chairs. Tsonda bounces back to his feet and runs full speed at the Intense Champion, slamming both knees into his chest and sending them both flying and scattering the row of chairs behind them as fans have quickly moved out of the way. Tsonda is quick to his feet and grabs a stumbling FLAMBERGE by the back of the skull and drags him further into the crowd before snapping FLAMBERGE’s face into the side of a lighting structure.
CRACK!
Nick Stuart: Fans have cleared out of the way, security helping give these competitors the space they need without fear of a lawsuit coming PRIME’s way.
Richard Parker: I imagine Lindsay Troy would just laugh at it and throw it in the trash anyways.
Nick Stuart: Is that what you do with all of those paternity suits?
Richard Parker: Look, Maury hasn’t told me I’m the father so I don’t know what they’re talking about!
Tsonda tries to drag FLAMBERGE over to a nearby table, but FLAMBERGE drives his elbow into the midsection of the Hall of Famer. He takes the opening and wraps his forearm under the chin of the challenger and puts him into a sleeper hold. Tsonda immediately drives his boots into the ground and launches himself backwards, slamming the lower back of FLAMBERGE into the edge of the nearby table. Tsonda begins to cough as he turns around while FLAMBERGE grimaces and connects with a kick to the midsection.
Richard Parker: FLAMBERGE going to end up with back problems like Tsonda if he takes too many more shots to the lower back.
Nick Stuart: Needless to say, the intensity in this match is ratcheting up quite quickly and there’s no telling the lengths either of these two men will go to in order to pull out the victory here tonight.
Richard Parker: I mean, we know FLAMBERGE will go to the end of the world.
Nick Stuart: Tsonda has been known to push himself past his comfort zone, so there’s no telling what could still happen between these two.
Chandler grabs FLAMBERGE by the back of the head and slams him face first into the wooden table, which is covered in audio equipment. The staff scatter away from the scene and then Tsodna slams FLAMBERGE’s face into the table once again. He releases his hold on FLAMBERGE, who remains leaning on the table, his face in the position where it was just smashed at. Tsonda turns around and grabs a steel chair, folds it and cocks it back as he looks to slam the chair into the back of the Intense Champion’s skull. As he unloads though, FLAMBERGE manages to roll out of the way.
BOOM!
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE just moved out of the way at the last possible second!
Richard Parker: That would’ve been the end of FLAMBERGE, I’m telling you right now.
Nick Stuart: He may have been next to Phil Atken in a wheelchair.
Richard Parker: Wheelchair?! He would have been a vegetable!
FLAMBERGE stumbles to his feet, trying to get away from Tsonda, but Chandler chases after him, driving his elbow between his shoulder blades. As the Intense Champion is stopped in his tracks, Tsonda slips to the side of FLAMBERGE and wraps his arms around his waist in the process. He then lifts FLAMBERGE into the air and goes for a side suplex into the chairs near him only for FLAMBERGE to land on his feet on a chair. Tsonda turns around and is met with a boot to the face. As Tsonda stumbles away, clutching at his face, FLAMBERGE launches himself off the chair and connects with a bulldog onto the unforgiving concrete.
Nick Stuart: What amazing athleticism from FLAMBERGE there!
Richard Parker: I taught him that move.
Nick Stuart: You taught him how to land on his feet on top of a chair instead of going through them?
Richard Parker: Yeah! Is that so hard to believe?
Nick Stuart: For a man who lacks all grace, definitely. I’ve seen you fall out of your chair numerous times at the Asian Buffet!
Richard Parker: That’s not the same thing!
FLAMBERGE gets to his knees, flips Tsonda over, and blasts him in the face with a forearm shot. He then rises to his feet and drags Tsonda by the arm back towards the ringside barricade. FLAMBERGE then drags Tsonda up to his feet only for Chandler to blast him with a palm strike to the face. FLAMBERGE retaliates with a clothesline that sends Tsonda over the barricade and to the floor.
Nick Stuart: Both competitors trading blows back and forth with one another here!
Richard Parker: Neither man wants to go home the loser here tonight and you can see the competition oozing out of them.
Nick Stuart: Let’s not talk about oozing.
Richard Parker: Then stop talking to me about necks!
As Tsonda stumbles back up to his feet, FLAMBERGE connects with an arm wrench before throwing him to the floor. The Intense Champion immediately goes for an armbar on the outside of the ring, but Tsonda manages to clasp his hands together before FLAMBERGE can wrench back. The Intense Champion kicks furiously at the face of Tsonda, but Chandler manages to hold on and rotates it so he is standing over FLAMBERGE before he lifts him off the mat and then throws him into the side of the ring apron as hard as he can.
THWACK!
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE is taking his lumps here tonight and if he’s going to want to retain his Intense Championship, he’s going to need to take a few less of them.
Richard Parker: Whomever wins, they will have earned it and will be having a lengthy stay at the hospital after this.
Nick Stuart: That very well might be the case here. You have to wonder how much more either of these men can take.
Richard Parker: Fans in Cleveland have been taking shit all of their lives, these two can handle a bit more.
Tsonda grabs the dazed Intense Champion and rolls him back into the ring. As FLAMBERGE gets back to his feet, Tsonda connects with a knife-edge chop that rings through the arena.
CRACK!
FLAMBERGE goes for a forearm strike, but Tsonda ducks underneath it and plants FLAMBERGE on the mat with a side suplex. FLAMBERGE grabs at the back of his head as Tsonda reaches down and goes to bring FLAMBERGE back up to his feet. As he does though, FLAMBERGE pulls him into a small package!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: And FLAMBERGE almost stole that one!
Richard Parker: You could hear the air almost leave the arena after that!
Nick Stuart: All it takes is one moment and this match could be over for either competitor.
Richard Parker: I would hate to think of what FLAMBERGE we get if he loses here tonight.
Tsonda gets up to his feet, surprised by the near pinfall from FLAMBERGE. The Intense Champion gets back up to his feet in a hurry and connects with a forearm smash across the face of Tsonda, which sends Chandler stumbling into the corner. FLAMBERGE immediately drives his shoulder repeatedly into the abdomen of the Hall of Famer before connecting with a hip toss out of the corner. As Tsonda sits up, in agony, FLAMBERGE sneaks up behind him and goes for a north south choke, but Chandler manages to roll through it and lands on top of FLAMBERGE in a vertical base. He then lifts FLAMBERGE off of the mat before connecting with the Runway Vault!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: OUT OF NOWHERE! THE RUNWAY VAULT!
Richard Parker: Oh snap, we’re about to witness history right now, everyone. Don’t turn off your TV set.
Nick Stuart: Do people even watch on a TV any longer?
Richard Parker: How would I know? I’m here with you every week!
Tsonda, sensing victory at hand as FLAMBERGE is laid out on the canvas, begins to climb to the top turnbuckle, looking for his patented high-arc moonsault. As he stands on the top turnbuckle, a hooded figure leaps over the ringside barricade and proceeds to almost push Tsonda off the top rope, but stops dead in his tracks as Tsonda hops off the top rope.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: What in the hell?!
Richard Parker: Who is that who jumped over the barricade?!
Nick Stuart: Oh, I could tell you who it is!
Richard Parker: It looks like an oompa-loompa! Timothee Chalamet is attacking us! The French Revolution is upon us! FLAMBERGE and CHALAMET! HOW WILL WE EVER BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS?!
Tsonda looks at the masked man stands on the ring apron, mocking Tsonda, before he pulls back his hood to reveal the reigning Gamble Champion, Tony Gamble himself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tsonda rushes at him, but before he is able to do so, Chandler is spun around by the Intense Champion, who plants his boot into Tsonda’s midsection before connecting with an axe kick!
Nick Stuart: THAT RAT BASTARD!
Richard Parker: Um, Nick. I think Gamble is like connected. I wouldn’t say much more.
Nick Stuart: Tsonda had this one in the bag and Gamble interfered by distracting Tsonda, getting him off of the top turnbuckle, giving FLAMBERGE the opening that he needed.
Richard Parker: I mean, anything could still happen…
With Tsonda dazed on his knees, FLAMBERGE immediately locks in the Guillotine Choke.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE has locked in the Marie Antoinette!
Richard Parker: Okay, well then…
Nick Stuart: This is disgusting! Gamble costing Tsonda here like this.
Richard Parker: I mean, the same thing happened at the top of the show.
Nick Stuart: I don’t need your rationalization, Richard! Gamble started ALL of this.
As Tsonda reaches out, looking for some kind of release, Gamble yells at him, mocking him in the process.
“TAP TSONDY, TAP!”
Tsonda glares at Gamble as the oxygen is cut off from him. He tries to reach out again, but is starting to fade.
His eyes close as Elvis Nixon checks on him and immediately signals for the bell.
DING DING DING!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vince Howard: Your winner… and STILL! INTENSE! CHAMPION! FLAMBERGE!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FLAMBERGE slowly releases his hold on Tsonda before making his way to his feet. He yanks the title away from Elvis Nixon and takes a quick look at Gamble before escaping under the bottom rope and begins to make his way up the ramp with his title in hand.
Nick Stuart: Absolutely disgusting! I can’t believe this is how the main event is going to end!
Richard Parker: Well, needless to say, FLAMBERGE will be heading into UltraViolence as the Intense Champion where he will face… someone.
Nick Stuart: I’m too angry to talk about that, Richard. I hope Tsonda gets his hands on Gamble next week!
Richard Parker: And a year-long winning streak is all but guaranteed for the French star, a remarkable feat for our #2 wrestler in the rankings!
Tsonda slowly opens his eyes and they lock with Gamble, who is waving at Tsonda, a huge smile on his face for having ruined the evening of Tsonda.
Nick Stuart: Just deplorable behavior!
Richard Parker: Alright then, this is weird for me, but for my partner Nick Stuart, I’m Richard Parker, thanking you for watching ReVival 34! We’ll be back in two weeks time for ReVival 35, live from the Little Caesars Arena in Detroit!
We cut from the image of Tsonda and Gamble, seething at one another to FLAMBERGE, who stands at the top of the ramp, victorious. He holds his title high over his head, having collected another neck for his collection.
Which neck is next?
Richard Parker: Damnit, no more necks! FADE TO BLACK!
Fine.
FADE.
TO.
NECKS.