INTRODUCTION OF THE CENTURY? NAH, NOT REALLY
The feed switches from one section of the backstage to another. On-screen, we see a man whose spiky hair is as green as bok choy. A man who prior to tonight’s show decided the most professional choice of fashion was a ringmaster costume. The manager of none other than Jack Owyns, ODDBALL!
Oddball: (Clearing lungs) ACK testing, testing ACK! Ahem.
Three members of the T-Mobile Arena security team stare, befuddled.
Oddball: (Air trumpet) Doo, doo…Ladies and gentlemen, boys, and girls, things of all ages…
Oddball slaps two of the guards’ bellies, treating them like drums.
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
The three security guards exchange glances between themselves, confused.
Oddball continues slapping, rhythm on tune.
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Oddball: …Allow me thee privilege to introduce to ya’ll, THEE original gangsta, the one and only VILLAIN, Jack–
One of the security guards – done with the unwelcoming pink belly – takes Oddball by the wrist, and applies pressure. A squeak slips from the mouth of Oddball.
Security Guard: Slap my stomach again, and I’m gonna break every finger you have on your puny little hand.
The security guard releases his grip on Oddball’s wrist and grabs him by the collar of his ringmaster jacket with both fists. The guard, with little effort, pushes Oddball, who ends up on his ass seven feet back out the door, no grace with his fall.
Security Guard: Now get out of here; this isn’t a circus.
Oddball looks dumbfounded, staring toward the security guards until he touches his right elbow, and hisses from the pain of the bruise already forming beneath his ringmaster jacket.
Cue evil sadistic expression.
Oddball: No…No, this isn’t a circus…but a battlefield! Cuz PRIMES newest, most lethal signee JACK F’N OWYNS is coming and this place will be his canvas of carnage! BLOOD, GUTS…and glory, (sadistic laugh)heh, heh.
Oddball picks himself up off the ground.
Oddball: I’ve seen what he has done; he broke one man’s arm, SNAP! Some dude’s leg, CRACK! Even broke one man’s spine, POP! Took a sledgehammer and WHAM WHAM SMASH! To a man’s hand–
He takes a couple steps towards the security guards.
Oddball: –He’s destroyed dreams, he’s ended careers, he became a world champion at the age of only nineteen and he’s coming to PRIME, and he going to make all of you his—
The security guard slams the door in Oddball’s face.
Security Guard: Shut up.
The security guards laugh amongst themselves while one checks the door, ensuring it’s locked.
A faint KNOCK, KNOCK, comes from the other side of the door.
Security Guard: That name, uh…Jack Owyns was it; you ever hear of him?
Security Guard: Nah, ain’t ringing any bells.
Security Guard: Probably another nobody.
The three security guards walk off as the knocking stops. The camera pans in as a piece of paper slips underneath the door. The piece of paper reads:
MAY 19TH, 2023
JACKIE BOY RETURNS!
Signed Oddball (: