JARED SYKES VS. TONY GAMBLE
Nick Stuart: Oh. Great. What’s he think he is doing making his way down here?
BOOOOOOOO!!!!
He, in this case, and the reason for Nick’s lamentable tone, just so happens to be the Round 3 opponent of whoever wins the up and coming match.
Cancer Jiles.
Nick Stuart: Shit. Okay. He really is coming. I better get this out of the way before he sits down. Up next, Round 2 of the Almasy Invitational continues to roll right along…
Richard Parker: Hopefully.
Nick Stuart: …as we see Jared Sykes taking on Tony Gamble. Both of these men have been around the block and then some. One used a forklift, while the other dates back to the ReVolutionary War.
Richard Parker: This match should be about as PRIME of a matchup as it gets here; granted a certain cockroach doesn’t ruin it by talking about his hair the entire time.
As if on cue, The GOLDEN TICKET himself plops down at the announce table. He’s changed out of his wrestling gear, and is dressed down in his electric blues. Of course, the T-shades are on and the hair is tip top. Also of note, his nostrils are stuffed with gauze from his earlier gusher against Don Winters.
Richard Parker: What do we owe the pleasure?
Cancer Jiles: Well Dicky boy, I thought it would be a good idea to come on down here and get a closer look at whomever my third round opponent is going to be. You guys don’t mind, do you?
Nick Stuart: So in other words all of the in ring segments were taken again?
Cancer Jiles: Bingo.
The lights fade to nothing, and then the first note hits. Deep, resonant, and with it comes a flood of white light that washes over the crowd. As the sound fades, so does the light.
Northlane. “Plenty.”
I’ll never be ready to meet a memory
Vince Howard: Making his way to the ring…
A steady rhythm follows, building to something. With each note comes a pulse of white, like a heartbeat slightly out of time.
Vince Howard: Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts…
The only thing louder than the thundering guitar coming through the speakers is the explosion of the crowd.
Vince Howard: Accompanied by Justine Calvin, and weighing in tonight at 201 pounds…
The guitar rips into frenetic tapping riff, and with it blue and purple lights begin pulsing over the crowd in time with the beat. Two figures appear at the entryway, and the cheering gets louder.
Vince Howard: JAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED SYYYYYYYYKES!!!
When the dirt crushes my bones
And the worms call me their home
If I’m asked to start again
I can’t pretend I’m ready
I can’t pretend
I’ve had plenty
The pair make their way to the ring before Jared slides in under the bottom rope. He throws his hood back and puts the sweatshirt under the nearest turnbuckle. Underneath it is a heather gray tee shirt, the kind that PRIME sells at the arena every time there’s a Universal championship match. This one is from ReVival 22, where Hayes Hanlon unsuccessfully defended the strap against Rezin. After a moment, he removes this as well, but only after the hard camera has had a chance to get a good, long look at what he’s wearing.
Nick Stuart: Jared with a not so subtle message for his old friend.
Richard Parker: Speaking of subtle, here comes the embodiment of the exact opposite.
Cancer Jiles: How about that? I never knew they put a telephone book in front of the first ring step for him.
A shared, raucous laughter ensues among all that are down at the ring. Total knee slap. Even Justine can’t help herself. Same for Jared. And Nick. And Dick. And Ashley Barlow. Then, the harmonious moment awkwardly ends, and everyone reverts back to hating Cancer Jiles.
“Born for this” by Divide Music starts to play through the speakers, as Tony Gamble and Johnnie Newsman step out from behind the curtain. Tony just stands there for a moment, as the chorus of boos continues to rain down on him from the crowd.
When the choice is mine and mine alone
I won’t give in even if you break my bones
The lyrics have started, but it is the sound of Johnnie’s voice bellowing out above those lyrics that drives the crowd to get even louder.
Johnnie Newsman: HELLLOOOOOOO GRRREEEEENNNBROOOOO!!!
I won’t give in ’till your sins have been atoned
All I see is the flickering lights below me
Tony stretches his arms out wide, welcoming the crowd’s form of adoration as Johnnie continues to speak and his music plays.
All I need is the power to change what I see
If I can give a little, not a second thought
Johnnie Newsman: Coming to your ring, with weight of one hundred and thee eighty nine pounds of lean, mean muskulls on a man.
If I’m stuck in the middle, I will take the shot, woah
All I wanna be, yeah
Tony makes his way down the ramp, ignoring the few smarks in the crowd that actually do like him as he stares at Jared Sykes waiting for him in the ring. Fans reach their arms out, awaiting a slap of acknowledgement that will never come, as Johnnie stays at the top of the ramp.
Yeah, I was born for this
I will keep my secrets high above
Johnnie Newsman: HE BEST THING HAPPEN HERE EVER!!
In the hopes to protect the ones I love
But I wonder where in darkness lies the truth
Johnnie Newsman: BUTCHER OF BAYOU BARBER!!
Of the one who took their lives, you can’t excuse
I don’t fear you, I won’t let you take my home
Johnnie Newsman: YOUR FUTURE CHARLIE BUCKET!!
Tony climbs the steps, giving a quick glance at his not too distant future opponent at ringside. He turns his attention back to the man that is in the way of that future, before looking out at the fans that have not quieted down at all since he stepped out from behind the curtain. They love to hate him, and he loves it.
I will climb through to wherever you may roam
I won’t give in, you can even break my bones
Johnnie Newsman: THEE TINY MOUSE RUSSIAN ELEPHANT FEARS!!
What is within is a strength you’ll never know
Johnnie Newsman: TOOOOOOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
All I see is the flickering lights below me
All I need is the power to change what I see
Tony steps in between the middle and top ropes to get into the ring, making his way to the center without turning his attention away from Sykes.
Johnnie Newsman: THEEEEE GRRRRRRIIIINNNNNNNN!!
If I can give a little, not a second thought
If I’m stuck in the middle, I will take the shot, woah
He drops down to one knee, lowering his head as he does.
Johnnie Newsman: GAAAAAAAAMMBLLLLLLEEEEE!!
All I wanna be, yeah
Then stretches his arms out once again, pointing toward Jiles while he lifts his head and stares at Jared, welcoming the hate from the crowd.
Yeah, I was born for this
The crowd is swooning for action. Ashley Barlow gets Jared Sykes and Tony Gamble to find their respective corners. She then goes over the rules with both of them, and when she is done, Tony removes the cotton balls from his ears for all to see.
Dejected, Ashley calls for the bell.
DING DING
Tony and Jared begin to circle one another in the ring. Gamble comes to a stop, smiles coyly, and raises his arm as if to challenge Knight-Errant in a test of strength.
Nick Stuart: What do you think here Jiles? Should Jared accept, what move will Tony do next? Eye poke? Kick to the gut? Low blow? You are the authority.
Cancer Jiles: I don’t think Tony can reach Jared’s eyes, not easily anyway, and it’s too early for a low blow. So, I’ll go with a kick to the gut. Seems most logical. This way, you can also bait Jared into catching it, and then Tony can counter with an Enziguri to really take control of the match early on.
Richard Parker: Well I guess we’ll see what happens, Cancer Avalon.
Jared slowly reaches his left hand up to meet Gamble’s right. Before they can finger fuck, Gamble tries to be a sneak and throws a kick towards Jared’s gut. Sykes, being the well rounded wrestler that he is, catches it. Gamble goes for the Enziguri just like Jiles had predicted, however Sykes is able to duck underneath it causing Tony to over rotate and land belly flat on the mat.
Richard Parker: Close.
Not one to waste time, Dragonslayer drops the point of his elbow in between Tony’s shoulder blades, and then squeeze’s Tony’s melon tight with a side headlock. Gamble waves his arms around in a fanatic attempt to escape the hold. He eventually does so by grabbing a hold of Jared’s hair, and pulling him backwards into a pinning combination.
Barlow is right in there in position to make the count!
One.
Two.
Sykes releases the headlock and rolls away. Happy Heelmore scrambles to his feet and tries to clothesline Sykes’s midsection. Jared, because he already used his duck under, showcases his athleticism by jumping over Tony’s arm like it were a hurdle; then quickly reaches back and drops the shell-shocked Gamble with a vicious neck breaker.
Cancer Jiles: Noted.
Nick Stuart: You almost sounded impressed there.
Cancer Jiles: Why? Because the beating Heart of PRIME is beating up on a man half his size? If he even tried something like that on me I’d end his sorry ass right then and there– and then I’d walk his girl back up the ramp and take her out for a nice steak dinner with the boys.
Nick Stuart: Is that so?
Cancer Jiles: That is so.
Richard Parker: Say, I couldn’t help but notice you weren’t out here for Coral’s match? Trouble in paradise already, or were you still getting your nose looked at? Ya know what, don’t bother answering. I don’t want to start any trouble.
Sykes quickly rolls over and hooks the leg.
One.
Two..
Gamble kicks out at a short two!
Justine slams her hand on the mat a couple of times encouraging her life partner to continue the attack. Sykes gets back to his feet, reaches down to pull Tony back up, and while doing so Gamble surprises him with a sitdown jawbreaker that sends Sykes reeling into the corner. The Capotavola springs to his feet, charges in, and drives his shoulder into Sykes’ gut!
Nick Stuart: Tony starting to mount some offense here! Can he take advantage!?
With Sugar Milk buckled over in the corner, The Grin slyly blows Justine a kiss from in between the top and second turnbuckles. He then cautiously backs out of the corner, winds up, and slaps the facial hair clean from Sykes’ face. Tries too, anyway. Still not done with the onslaught, Gamble starts to rake at Jared’s eyes which causes Barlow to get between them and break up the hold.
Nick Stuart: He’s trying to blind him!
Cancer Jiles: This idiot! He’s got to get his index fingers in the corners furthest from the nose! That’s how you pop an eyeball out and/or cause a subdural hematoma. If you gouge the corner of the inner part of the eye it actually clears the sinus! Tony’s doing him a favor!
Richard Parker: Is that true?
Cancer Jiles: Let’s me and you find out.
John Rhine’s favorite wrestler moves back in, grabs Jared by the arm, whips him across the ring and into the opposite corner. Hard. Jared stumbles out from the impact, and Tony plants him with the best spinebuster of his career.
Cancer Jiles: Noted.
Gamble drops down for a pin. He grabs a hold of the tights, and even props his legs up on the second rope for added leverage.
Cancer Jiles: Good form. Extension is just right. He might actually have him here.
Barlow drops down for the count.
One.
Two……….
Thr—
Ashley Barlow stops her count when she notices Tony’s outstretched legs using the ropes for added leverage. The two get into a small argument, which brings Justine Calvin onto the apron. You know, girl power and everything. Gamble is getting it in both ears, and his Italian face grows redder by the second for it. Before he does something to get disqualified, Jared sneaks up behind and surprises him with a School Boy!
One.
Two.
Thre— KICK OUT by GAMBLE!
Nick Stuart: That was as close as it gets!
A picture in picture instant replay shows Gamble escaping at the last second.
Gamble gets to his feet, clutching at his neck that has finally started to hurt. Sykes also gets to his feet, however he’s easily breathing through his nose since his sinus cavity is clear. Justine is no longer standing on the apron. Ashley Barlow is quickly retying her shoe. Jiles has both feet up on the announce table, and is doing his best to look unimpressed by what he sees. Dirty Dick and Saint Nick don’t seem too enthused by his actions. Mainly because his legs and feet are across their part of the announce table.
Then.
Instead of locking up, Jared and Tony just start beating the shit out of each other. Haymakers. Chops. Slaps. Kicks. Knees. Gamble even headbutts Sykes directly in the sternum.
Cancer Jiles: Jared’s lucky he’s not in there with Coral or else he would be dead right now. Like, DEAD-DEAD.
All of the blows are precise.
All land with purpose, and impact.
All want to move on to the next round.
Finally, the tremendous flurry ends when Sykes blocks a left, and with a left of his own knocks Tony backwards.
Once.
Twice.
Three times a lady, or in this case a punch to the face. Gamble reels all the way to the ropes, and Jared moves in to clothesline him over the top. Gamble, though, falls down to the mat and pulls the top rope with him; causing Jared to go ass over teakettle onto the outside.
Nick Stuart: Just when Jared was starting to get some momentum back.
Cancer Jiles: I’ll give Gamble this much– he’s got uncanny ring awareness. There’s no doubting that. If only he was twenty-three inches taller.
Barlow starts to count. Tony gathers himself for the final push. He can see the opportunity in front of him. The GOLDEN TICKET. Yes, he’s staring at Jiles so it’s meant to be taken in a more literal sense but still. Justine is checking in on her man, and trying to get him to circle the wagons because right now he is exactly where Tony Gamble wants him.
Prone.
On the outside of the ring.
Gamble shakes free from his luster, and decides it’s time to take this match to the next level. Also meant to be taken literally, seeing as he ascends the turnbuckles all the way to the top. All Justine can do is watch, and plead, and all Tony can do is laugh and point. Like an ice skater he swiftly turns on a heel, and launches himself high into the air.
MOON. fucking yolo. SAULT.
Nick Stuart: He must be over fifteen feet in the air!
Cancer Jiles: Just imagine if he were a normal height… it’d be like thirty!
Like an elegant dove, Tony soars the air. Then, like a blind archer, he totally misses the mark when Sykes rolls out of the way at the last second.
Nick Stuart: After seeing that, what do you have to say about Jared’s ring awareness?
Cancer Jiles: That wasn’t awareness. That was survival instinct. Trust me, I know about that, too.
Gamble is just lying there, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Probably because he knocked himself out. Jared gets back up to his feet, and referee Barlow reaches a count of seven before he’s able to roll Tony back into the ring. Then, after joining his foe back inside the squared circle, The Slayer of Dragons reaches out and covers Gamble with one arm.
Barlow drops down for the count.
One.
Two.
Thre…. KICK OUT BY GAMBLE!!!
Nick Stuart: How in the hell?
Richard Parker: It might take a bullet for someone to win this match at this point. MY GOD!
Justine again pounds on the mat, urging her man to push forward. Sykes uses the ropes to get upright, and shakes the webs occupying the cob on top of his neck. Tony is starting to move. Well, one of his legs anyway, and like a predator waiting on its prey, Jared is lying in wait for him. After realizing though that Gamble is just buying time, Sykes moves to attack only to of course be surprised with an inside cradle.
One.
Two.
Thrrrrrrrrrre————-
————
—…………….KICK OUT BY SYKES!
Nick Stuart: Okay. Now that was as close as it gets!
Both men race to be the first to their feet. Gamble, still a little wobbly from the botch, is last, and in this case being last means death. Sykes swoops in, finds his friend named Fortitude that resides within him, and hits Gamble with a snap suplex. He then rolls through it, seamlessly changes his grapple around, hoists Tony up, and spikes him down to the canvas!
Nick Stuart: OMEGA 13! That should do it!
Sykes sticks the landing, keeping Tony tucked for the pin.
Barlow drops down to count.
One.
Two.
THREE!!!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Here is your winner, Jared Sykes!!!!!!!!!
Justine hits the ring to celebrate while also checking in on the well being of her man. Ashley Barlow raises Jared’s hand in victory.
Richard Parker: Gamble is going to need a good, waterproof pillow for later on tonight I think.
Nick Stuart: In the end Tony was close, but they call it high risk for a reason. Jared Sykes moves on to face you, Cancer Jiles, in round three. How do you feel about that?
Cancer Jiles: I’m tingling.
Cut to COMMERCIAL.