KENNY FREEMAN ADDRESSES THE ALMASY
After that paid word from our sponsors (or something along those lines) we cut to a pre-taped vignette where…oh no, not this again.
Kenny Freeman is standing by, and it looks like he has something to say. Again. There is no sign of any fancy music-making devices nearby this time, however, so we may have gotten out of an absolute disaster as Kenny begins to speak.
Kenny Freeman: Good evening, Chicago! Tomorrow night sees our glorious leader Ivan Stanislav conquer Brandon Youngface to become the new PRIME Universal Champion…but tonight,your Bang! All Day Multiversal Champion is here to address a few things.
The crowd inside Soldier Field boo in disapproval of the earlier statement, but considering this is a pretape Kenny pays them no mind…rather, he is simply checking his teleprompter for the next bit he’s prepared for himself before speaking once again.
Kenny Freeman: First and foremost, there is the matter of our fiercest rivals, or at least the fiercest rivals that are still in PRIME…the Glue Man Group. The winds of change are upon us, folks, and it is time that we finally settle things the way they should be settled…in that very ring.
The crowd seems to like that idea, giving a pop as Kenny continues.
Kenny Freeman: So, let’s be gentlemen about this and have ourselves some Gentlemen’s Games, shall we? Fontaine, Phillips, feel free to ask your pal Cecilworth what that’s all about, I’m sure he’ll be happy to oblige with the information you seek. Anyway. Now that I’ve once again ADDRESSED MY ENEMIES…it’s time to ADDRESS THE ALMASY.
The crowd is definitely on board with this now, cheering the mention of the tournament as Kenny presses on.
Kenny Freeman: When I joined PRIME alongside my buddy Randall Schwartz last year, we had completely missed out on the Almasy Invitational…but with the tournament running into Colossus this year, the time is right for your boy to go and win himself a fancy trophy and whatever prizes may come with it. You may be wondering, how hyped is Kenny Freeman for this tournament? Well…
Oh. Oh, no.
Kenny Freeman: …I’ve got just the song to tell you.
Hoyt help us all, there’s music blaring in the background…music that sounds an awful lot like Jackon 5’s hit single “ABC” as Kenny begins singing.
♫ In just two weeks we’re starting
A tourney called the Almasy
The invitations are going out
And I expect one for me
Now now now
I’m gonna tell you
How I’m gonna win this
Sit yourself down, PRIMEates
And just listen to what I say ♫
We see Randall Schwartz somewhere in the background providing vocals on the chorus of this soon to be certified banger as Kenny continues.
♫ Almasy, I’m gonna get the
1 2 3, so simple that
Kenny Freeman’s gonna be
the winner of the Almasy
Almasy, you know I’m gonna get the
1 2 3, it’s so simple that
Kenny Freeman’s gonna be
the winner of the Almasy ♫
The music continues but Kenny’s audio seems to be cut off after that as we start to fade out…are we falling asleep, or just cutting away to the next thing on this exciting night of action?
Psst, it’s the latter.