KOHIME MORI VS. ARTHUR PLEASANT
Nick Stuart: That was quite the…uh…interview between TAL and Angelica.
Richard Parker: I don’t know why you had to say it like that, Nick, I thought it was just fine and dandy.
Nick Stuart: It was, until Arthur Pleasant stuck his nose in it. He and TAL have been going back and forth for weeks now and I’ve got a feeling things are going to come to a head really soon.
Richard Parker: And if that goody-goody TAL isn’t careful, it might be his head on Arthur’s front lawn as a Halloween decoration.
Nick Stuart: Anyway, up next we’ve got the aforementioned Arthur Pleasant taking on Kohime Mori. Kohime has certainly made a splash since her PRIME debut, going three and one, and quickly becoming a fan favorite.
Richard Parker: I think the tutu might have something to dodo with it.
Nick Stuart: Her rival for the evening has had a bit of a rockier start, but don’t let that oh and two record fool you – Arthur Pleasant is no slouch. Mori is going to have to pay close attention to avoid getting taken advantage of with Pleasant’s street fighting style.
Richard Parker: No doubt about that one, Nick. She’ll want to be sure to stay well away from the ropes, too, as that’s where Arthur likes to get tricky. And here she comes…
The rocking vibe of Little V Mills cover of “Precious Heart” spreads throughout The Pit.
Vince Howard: Coming now, from all the way over the ocean in Osaka, Japan…
Kohime Mori enters, then stands still to survey the event center, gazing around the arena while standing in place. With a big smile on her face, Mori gives a double fist pump and an enthusiastic yell before making her way down the aisle. As she bounces her way to the ring, she leans left and right to slap hands with the fans.
Vince Howard: Standing 5 foot 9 inches tall and weighing in at 170 pounds…
Once ringside, Kohime quickly traverses the stairs and enters the ring in between the middle and top rope. She makes her way to the middle of the ring, then lowers her head and makes a V with her index and middle fingers on her right hand, arm center mast. She raises her arm in a crescent motion until the V is above her head. Mori swings her arm down in front of her after a brief pause, a beaming smile on her face.
Vince Howard: Kohiiiiiiiiimeeeeeee Moriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Richard Parker: Did I wake up in a goddamned anime?
Nick Stuart: Best double check your sleepy time meds, Richard. Here comes Arthur.
A blasphemous cover of “Immigrant Song” is piped in over The Pit’s speakers.
Vince Howard: And now entering the ring… hailing from Ut… uh.. Uth… er…. FROM ALASKA
The crowd is aurally assaulted by Voodoo Prophet’s rendition of Led Zepplin’s masterpiece as Pleasant makes his way to the ring.
Vince Howard: Standing six foot three inches tall and weighing in at 225 pounds…Arthuuuuuuuuur Pleeeeeeeeasaaaaaaaaaannnnnt!
Middle fingers fly to the audience as he approaches ringside amidst an onslaught of boos and jeers. He seems undeterred, even egged on by the negative audience reaction.
Nick Stuart: What a warm welcome for Arthur Pleasant. Jimmy Turnbull will be officiating this one, tonight folks, and it looks like the red rocket of the ring is headed into center stage to get us started. Jimmy’s in a bit of an odd spot now, hired by PRIME to handle tag-team officiating, but with the tag team division a bit defunct I think LT’s finding more work for him to do.
Richard Parker: Better than being fired, I guess.
DING DING
Pleasant wastes no time sizing up his opponent and immediately lunges at Mori, throwing a flurry of muay thai punches and kicks. Mori deftly dodges and blocks, but the strikes have to hurt her limbs nonetheless. She searches for an opening.
Pleasant swings just a little bit wide with a right punch. Mori ducks under and behind him, sliding her left arm back up and around his neck.
Nick Stuart: What an escape after that bevy of blows – Kohime setting Pleasant up for what looks like a reverse DDT!
Richard Parker: Don’t think her hold’s gonna be tight enough to contain that weasel.
Nick Stuart: Looks like you’re right. Pleasant delivers a swift elbow to Kohime’s solar plexus, startling her just enough to loosen her grip. He’s free!
Pleasant ducks and twists out of the loosened hold, then turns and thrusts his forehead directly into Mori’s nose. As her hands reach instinctively to apply pressure to her nose, he quickly grabs her head with both hands and thrusts his thumbs into her eyes.
Richard Parker: Hey, Nick, you ever see the sci fi movie Event Horizon?
Nick Stuart: Don’t think so, Richard, why?
Richard Parker: No reason. I think I left my Orville Redenbacher under my chair…
Before Richard can get his popcorn, Kohime takes a risk and drops her body down into a koppo kick! Arthur is dazed from the strike to his head. Kohime takes a moment to recoup and backs up, resting her body against the ropes.
Nick Stuart: Oooh, boy, I don’t know how smart of a choice that is, Richard.
Richard Parker: Pretty sure we told her to stay away from the ropes. Why do the ladies never listen to me, Nick? Am I just not charming enough?
Nick Stuart: Who can say, Richard? Arthur seems to have come out of his daze and would you look at that, he’s just charging straight at Kohime.
Richard Parker: Seems a silly move, Nick. She’ll probably just pirouette to the side then swan dive off ringside.
Mori does step off the ropes and decide to meet Pleasant head on! She begins to extend her arm for a clothesline, but Arthur grins as she does. He ducks under her arm, wraps up her torso in his own arms, tosses her over his shoulder, spins, and drops her onto the ropes neck first for a stun gun!
Mori is gasping for air on the ground as it appears the hit may have affected her windpipe. Pleasant pulls her up to her knees and steadies her as she struggles to regain her breath.
Nick Stuart: Things are looking pretty grim for Mori here, Richard. I don’t think she’s getting out of this one.
Richard Parker: Can’t look, pain’s coming.
Arthur panders to the crowd’s jeers for a moment before nailing Kohime in the face with a buzzsaw kick.
Richard Parker: Oh the humanity!
Kohime falls backward and strikes the mat. Arthur wastes no time wrapping her up with a flourish, grabbing one leg, rolling over her torso, and pinning. Mori may well be passed out, and she makes no effort to get up.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING
Nick Stuart: And Pleasant gets his first win in PRIME. Mori seemed a little off her game tonight, don’t you think, Richard?
Richard Parker: Yeah, I guess. Wanna go see Swan Lake?
Nick Stuart: No, no, there’s more wrestling coming.
Richard Parker: …Nutcracker suite?
Nick Stuart: Have some more popcorn, Richard.