We return from commercial. It has already been a very exciting night of action and instead of continuing with that, we instead find ourselves in the backstage area. This backstage area is slightly undefined, a black curtain has been draped in the background and in front of it sits a large, red throne with gold trimmings. What sort of man would be deserving of such seating? Well, the man who came 2nd in the Culture Shock Battle Royal, of course!
Sitting upon his throne, Lord Cecilworth Farthington is attired in a plain black hoodie and his black “LCF” tights, clearly ready for main event action in the evening. Standing directly behind the self-proclaimed Financier of the Glue Factory is the tall, mute, beautiful, strong and loyal Hank. To Lord Farthington’s left stands Dirk Dickwood, to Lord Farthington’s right stands Gary Tongueman.
That’s right, friends, we find ourselves in the company of Glue Point Oh.
The small smirk creeps upon Lord Farthington’s face as he begins to speak.
Cecilworth Farthington: Hello PRIME. Our introduction the other week was very sudden. Something of a surprise you could say. Rude and abrupt is certainly what I’m sure some think. So, I asked for a little bit of time to formally introduce myself ahead of tonight’s WONDERFUL main event.
Farthington makes a small chuckle and snorts to himself. Don’t read too much into that. It’s definitely not anything.
Cecilworth Farthington: For those of you unaware, because, let’s be honest, most of this place is riddled with ignorant egotists, my name is Cecilworth Farthington and I am… or… I suppose was… the Finish Line of professional wrestling.
Cecilworth himself seems a little perturbed to be describing himself in the past tense.
Cecilworth Farthington: I don’t know if I can truly make that claim right now. I was close to reclaiming that name, but the boy, he beat me. He bettered me. He crossed the finish line. No one is supposed to do that. People are supposed to fall short. Two metres or so is my preference, makes it feel like they got ever so close before their heart was ripped out. That used to bring me such joy.
A wistful Cecilworth looks up to the ceiling and smiles.
Cecilworth Farthington: One day I hope to earn that title once more, perhaps after Nate Colton, or whoever manages to get their grubby little paws upon the 5 Star Championship before Tropical Turmoil, gets to find out what it means to stand in the ring with Lord Farthington. Perhaps I will be the Finish Line once more, as I make the 5 Star Championship the most important title in the wrestling universe. For now though, that’s a wish and a dream, it is not reality, it is not concrete fact.
Cecilworth returns his focus towards the camera.
Cecilworth Farthington: For now, you can call me The Financier. The man who funded the greatest Universal Champion in the history of PRIME wrestling, a man who never rightfully lost the title, the man that Hayes Hanlon wishes he could be, my mentor, my friend, my hero, Phil Atken. Such a shame he isn’t able to be here to provide his blessing upon me, but I assure you, I have been blessed all the same.
Cecilworth lifts up his arm and gestures at Dirk Dickwood.
Cecilworth Farthington: Now, thanks to Dirk, I am to understand that many of the viewing audience of PRIME are concerned about dearest Flamberge’s role within The Glue Factory. After all, he was so dear to Philip’s heart. Phil told me time and time again that he wanted to be the father Flambo never had. It wasn’t to be though, Cancer Jiles made sure of that. So I made sure that Cancer Jiles fucking bled. That’s how this works. Man, what a Battle Royal we had, eh? If only the boy hadn’t gotten the better of me for a few seconds, I’d have had the most eliminations, given ole Ninja Master LT’s regards, turned Cancer Jiles into a redhead, and banked myself Universal and 5 Star Opportunities. I guess you can’t always get what you want though.
Cecilworth chuckles to himself.
Cecilworth Farthington: Got most of it though.
Another chuckle, another snort. Gary, Hank and Dirk join in on the jolly laughter, although we’re unsure if they find it funny or are just worried about future employment.
Cecilworth Farthington: Where was I? Oh yes, Flamberge. What a kid. What a talent. What an asset! Many people would be delighted to have an athlete of his calibre on their side. Just an out and out wonderkid. I don’t know how he does it. So, I guess the natural assumption would be that I’d want him in the factory…
As the tone of Cecilworth’s dialogue changes, Dirk starts to drown himself in flop sweat, clearly concerned about Cecilworth’s next choice of words.
Cecilworth Farthington: The Factory is different now, we’re in a new era. Glue Point Oh. Flamberge was an incredible asset to Glue V1. I just don’t quite see the knife fighter in him… yet. I think he’s very, very capable. I think he could be a wonderful ambassador to our message. I just don’t think it’s there yet. Yet. Yet yet yet. The power of yet, that means the door is open. Dirk needs not worry, for opportunity is present. Let us just say that I will be watching this evening’s contest with Arthur Pleasant with a microscopic eye. For perhaps on this night potential turns into reality. Wouldn’t that be lovely, Dirk?
Dirk knows well enough to not sincerely respond to the question. He knows a rhetorical trap when he sees it.
Cecilworth Farthington: Enough about the future. We have the present to discuss. Tonight I will begin my slow jog towards claiming wrestling’s finish line once more. Tonight I asked my dear friend, Ms. LT, for a challenge and a challenge she has certainly delivered in Adam Ellis. That kid shits plausible potential. It’s the perfect test to see if I’m still made of the right stuff, and I’m relishing the opportunity to find out what kind of man I even am in the ring these days. Adam, you have stepped up and for that, you will have an eternal gratitude of debt from Glue Point Oh.
The camera starts to fade, but is interrupted by a further chuckle from Farthington.
Cecilworth Farthington: Sorry, I know some of you are expecting drama after my Culture Shock battle with my best friend’s son. Let me make you a promise, PRIME. I will never lie to you. I can admit that I could not pay the TAB at Culture Shock, he was just better. He beat me. He beat me fair. He beat me clean. He beat me sweet. He is diving into professional wrestling’s deep end at Tropical Turmoil, and I sincerely wish him the best. Perhaps we will find a way to stick together in the future, perhaps not. Perhaps he meets the potential of his bloodline, perhaps not. Uncle Cecilworth will be a shoulder to cry on either way, my dear boy.
Gary looks vaguely confused and definitely not aroused at this point.
Cecilworth Farthington: That is for another day, today is Adam Ellis day. Today is my new marathon. Minute by minute, the finish line grows nearer. In the meantime, I just hope I don’t… choke…
With another self-amused chuckle from the money behind The Glue Factory, we fade out, but for real this time.