LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

We cut to the backstage area of the MGM Arena, down a nearly deserted hallway. I say nearly deserted, because we see El Hijo Del Super Cool Guy standing there, staring off into nothing, deep in thought. Who knows what this complex individual is thinking at the moment. He could be going over his upcoming tag team match in his head, or he could be pondering the meaning of life? Or perhaps he’s thinking about how much King Blueberry’s mask smells when he takes it off? Who can know, he’s a mannequin after all, and no one has a better poker face than the Super Cool Guy!

The camera slowly pans out, as there appears to be a new arrival on the scene. eGG Bandit’s newest member Charity Insert-Last-Name-Here, has arrived. She’s standing across the hall from Super Cool Guy, as the two lock eyes. She’s staring at him, unblingly, with a burning intensity that can only be rivaled by Bobby Dean and his Bundt cakes. It appears Super Cool Guy is reciprocating with an equal intensity of his own.

Once more the camera slowly pans out, as the two of them are now somehow closer together. Mere inches away from each other, it appears the two of them are struggling to keep their hands off one another, as the two of them remain at a loss for words.

The camera pans out one last time, as we see a trash can positioned at the end of the hallway, as a very large and very noticeable Bobby Dean is struggling to squat down behind the trashcan in an effort to be hidden.

Bobby Dean: I think it’s working.

The large man whispers as if he’s Sir David Attenborough, about to witness the mating rituals of the rare species, the manikin, also known as the dummy, the lay figure, or dress form.

Doozer: Of course it’s working.

Bobby Dean: Shhhhhhh!

With an abrupt jerk the cameras finally notice Doozer standing there, in the middle of the hallway, adjacent to the squatting Bobby. The big man looks over towards his friend with a scowl, afraid the crotchety old coot was going to ruin this growing magical moment.

Bobby Dean: Keep your voice down, we don’t want to scare them away.

Doozer rolls his eyes and cross his arms across his chest, showing his clear annoyance with this entire episode, even though it was his idea to begin with.

Voice: What is going on here!?

The voice of King Blueberry fills the halls as he walks onto the scene. His eyes go wide behind his mask as he sees Cool Guy and Charity mere moments away from ripping their clothes off and ravaging each other. Then his eyes grow even wider when he spots Bobby Dean ducking his head down behind the trash can, as if he were a small child playing Hide-and-Seek, thinking since he can’t see Blueberry, Blueberry cannot see him.

King Blueberry: YOU!

Bobby refuses to look up, so he doesn’t see King Blueberry march down the hall and grasp El Hijo Del Super Cool Guy’s arm.

Doozer: Awww come on! He looked so happy!

Blueberry literally jumps, as he clutches at his heart for a moment.

King Blueberry: Where did you come from!?

Doozer simply sighs.

King Blueberry: Come on, friend, we’ve got to get you outta here!

Blueberry proceeds to drag his friend away as Charity stands there, watching, as if she is moments away from crying. Bobby peeks up over the can.

Bobby Dean: Dang it, we were so close!

Doozer: Yeah, we might actually have to try tonight, bud.

Bobby Dean: Uhm, Dooze? Can you help me up, I can’t feel my feet…

Ignoring his friend, Dooze walks over and with a gentle touch, picks up Charity around and waist and continues on down the hall, leaving Bobby Dean squatting behind a trash can, alone.