MAN UP
Fresh off that Bandit nonsense (and it most certainly was nonsense – bet it was long-winded, too), the scene cuts to the backstage where the LOVE CONVOY have gathered. Vickie Hall in her PRETTY PINK© little number is flanked to her right by the now retired Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy and upcoming main event star in elseworlds, Darin Zion. To her left is Amazing Life Partner, Jonathan-Christopher Hall in his brand new PRETTY PINK© robe with “I [HEART] VICKE” written everywhere. Also to her left, right and all around them are four different ESPN cameramen filming for the upcoming 30For30 documentary.
Vickie realizes the PRIME camera is now rolling, too, so she’s going to jump right into it… by actually jumping forward and getting a little too close to the lens.
Vickie Hall: Kerry Kuroyama, you buffoon! That’s what you are! This ain’t no DEFIANCE and you don’t got your bros and sis around to help ya. You have another buffoon, a real life LOSER lackey in Scott Hunter helping you but he’s meaninglesssssss! Ha ha ha!
Vickie shakes his head and hangs it in shame.
Vickie Hall: I’m not going to Charissa Thompson anything here. Straight and honest, to the point. Kerry, you are a narcissist. If you look closely, whenever you open your mouth you say the word “I”. “I”, “I”, “I”, “I”, “I”. Always about you, always about Vae Victis. Well I don’t like that, Kerry. I feel anxious when you talk about yourself. I come from a loving environment where I give love and I receive love. I come from a world where I need people to recognize my needs and make me feel comfortable. Where it is about me because I know my worth!
Vickie spins halfway around and lands her eyes upon Jonathan-Christopher. Then she spins the full 360 to find the front of the camera again with an “oh, hello there, didn’t see you there, teehee” expression.
Vickie Hall: And recently Jonathan-Christopher has been exceptional. The journey is happening, we’re actually doing it! I am being recognized as the most divine and wonderful manager in PRIME! Probably in the world!! AAAHHHHH gosh golly, oh jeez!
Vickie blushes.
Vickie Hall: Tonight we make the ultimate statement in the next step on our journey. Cancer Jiles or Jared Sykes, we do not care who’s in round four! Get this useless punk-ass Kuroyama tough-guy out of my face! Tattoos are masks for insecurities and you are in hiding, Kerry. Tonight we bring you out into the open. We expose you for the useless tit and side-hustle you are!
From behind Vickie, one of the ESPN crew slightly nudges Jonathan-Christopher forward, as if encouraging him to speak. Vickie hears a minor commotion behind her, which is basically Jonathan-Christopher attempting to resist the nudge and politely let the individual know Vickie needs her space to speak openly and uninterrupted. However, after seeing Jonathan-Christopher interacting with the ESPN employee, Vickie places her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrows.
Vickie Hall: My Amazing Life Partner…
She cocks her head to the side.
Vickie Hall: Would you care to add anything?
Jonathan-Christopher’s cheeks blush but again he’s nudged forward by the cameraman. JCH mumbles the statement “stop it” under his breath towards the cameraman but seeing Vickie stand there, tapping her foot, as if he’s NOW expected to say something…
Well, how could he ever let the Woman of Wonder down?
Jonathan-Christopher takes a couple steps forward and aligns himself with his spouse.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: Can you hear me, Kerry? It’s me, Jonathan-Christopher.
Pause.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: Kerry, I have nothing but respect for you. I take it a guy like you would hate me, but I’m going to show you what I can accomplish.
Jonathan-Christopher seemingly gains a little bit more confidence with each and every word.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: It’s going to be tough but Garry Ray-Ray Bolamba was tough. Rich Patterson was no push over. Cancer Jiles goes without saying. Hayes Hanlon is a former World Champion. Anna Daniels knew her shit.
Jonathan-Christopher cracks his knuckles.
Jonathan-Christo pher Hall: Kerry Kuroyama, you are going to lose and I will open your eyes!
JC points to the camera. His delivery and confidence certainly needs work but it sure is impressing Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy and the other camera crew. Meanwhile, Darin Zion is sullen and Vickie Hall remains expressionless, merely studying Jonathan-Christopher’s face throughout his speech, as if she’s evaluating it.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: A few minutes from now it’s put up or shut up.
The Forever Man is nodding with a lot more passion than before.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: And I’m going to try-
Vickie shakes her head no. She lets out an easy, passive aggressive sigh and delightful giggle thereafter, while reaching up and wrapping her right arm around JC.
Vickie Hall: Oh Jonathan-Christopher, my dear, there is no try. We need to see that progress. Let’s go get it!
Jonathan-Christopher agrees by nodding his head up and down. The group is about to leave the scene when a kerfuffle from inside gorilla is now working its way… outside.
The Egg Bandits.
Cancer Jiles leads the way and clearly can’t help but find Vickie Hall, Jonathan-Christopher and most specifically Darin Zion standing behind the couple.
Jiles stops, scoffs, sucks back whatever is in his mouth and then spits it directly in front of the group, narrowly missing Vickie Hall’s shoes.
Cancer Jiles: Crumbs.
The Bandits exit stage right. Coral lingers for a moment, and takes an apologetic tone.
Coral Avalon: Sorry about him, guys, he was raised by egg wolves.
Then he turns to follow the rest of his team.
…
Vickie Hall doesn’t know what to make of it.
…
Suddenly, she does.
PRETTY PINK© smacks her man on the chest.
Vickie Hall: Where were you “Mr. Tough Guy”? I need my man to stand up for me!
The frustration is short-lived, however, as the group make their way towards gorilla. As the LOVE CONVOY walks down the hall and the PRIME camera stays stationary, a conversation between the ever-loving-couple is still picked up by the feed.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: I’m sorry, baby. I- I definitely should have said something.
Vickie Hall: Yes Jonathan-Christopher, you should have. It’s okay, you can make it up to me inside the ring with a solid victory.
Revival goes elsewhere.