MASTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE B-TEAM vs. DANGEROUS MIX
We fade out from the GAN hype video to a rowdy MGM Grand Garden Arena. The PRIMEates are yelling and vying for camera time as we do a sweep around the venue to pick up some of the more creative signs of the night…
MANNEQUIN CANADIAN DESTROYER COUNT: 6
STILL WAITING FOR MY MOUSTACHE RIDE, HAYES
PLZ STAB ME, RIA
MAIN EVENT HORIZON
GREAT SCOTT, HELP ME WITH MY ALGEBRA HOMEWORK
BUY THE COWARD YOU SHIRTS
I CAME TO SEE CHET FLEETWOOD
WHERE CAN I ORDER A KENDO STICK?
THE PHIL ATKENS DIET WORKED FOR ME
GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTCOURT
GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTSHADE
GREAT AMERICAN NATEMARE
DICK DIRTWOOD HAS A FUNNY NAME
LET CALLY SAY “HECK”
BRO FLAMBO BE STRAIGHT BUSSIN NO CAP FR FR
WHAT COLOR RIBBON DO WE WEAR FOR CANCER JILES AWARENESS?
SO ABOUT THAT KENDO STICK…
ACTIVATE PRIME GLOWUP
Nick Stuart: Welcome, everyone, to Great American Nightmare, PRIME’s second supershow of the ReVival era! I’m Nick Stuart and joining me as always is Richard Parker! We have an incredible show for you tonight, and that all starts with tag team action right now!
“Let Me Entertain You” plays over the sound system to a fairly mixed reaction as Randall Schwartz and Kenny Freeman make their way to the ring.
Richard Parker: PRIME has a lot of talent, Nick, but I think our tag team division is what really sets us apart – so many great tag teams…and then there’s these guys.
Nick Stuart: The Masters of the Multiverse…B-Team has not had a lot of success since coming to PRIME for the Survivor Tournament, but don’t underestimate them.
Richard Parker: Why can’t I? I don’t have to fight them. I’ll underestimate them all I want.
Vince Howard: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, has a twenty minute time limit. Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 336 pounds…THE MASTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE…B-TEAM!
Freeman and Schwartz enter the ring and fist bump, then wait in the far corner for their opponents.
A respectable pop for one of PRIME’s newest acquisitions, as Mushigihara lumbers down the path with a face for war. The camera manages to pick up his low growls as he passes, before leaving us with David Fox and his wife Saori Kazama, casually strolling well behind the God-Beast.
David Fox: Well, this is it. The BIG pay-per-view debut and all that comes with it. Whew I’m pumped!
She reaches for a shoulder and casually rubs it in support.
Saori Kazama: You’re going to be great, babe. Just remember, don’t forget to breathe, no kicks above the waist until they’re clearly dazed, and trust your body if you think you need to tag.
Fox chuckles as Saori gently runs a finger down his chest.
David Fox: I mean, thanks, babe, but where’d you get THAT strategy from?
Saori Kazama: You told me to say it to you in case you forgot.
An awkward pause as David looks into her eyes with a look of “oh, yeeeeeeah,” which suddenly turns to surprise as the opening guitar chords of the Dangerous Mix’s theme music starts blaring through the building.
David Fox: Oops! Match time!
He gives her a cute peck on the lips before sprinting off.
David Fox: Wish me luck, babe!
The camera follows Fox as he double-times it to the arena entrance, where an impatient Mushigihara awaits.
David Fox: I know, big man, sorry. Let’s go out there and show those two who the real masters are, huh?
We cut back to the arena as the dimmed lights emphasize the array of lasers and spotlights dancing about as the nonsensical words (seriously, just TRY to make sense of the lyrics) of Hideyuki Takahashi’s “Run Rabbit Junk” continue to echo.
As the climactic chorus and slick licks kick in, a single bold spotlight comes down on the ramp, revealing the Dangerous Mix, arms raised, oozing intensity!
Vince Howard: AND THEIR OPPONENTS! At a total combined weight of four-hundred eighty-seven pounds… DAVID FOX! MUSHIGIHARA! They are, THE DANGEROUS! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!!!
The Mix parades to the ring with confidence and gusto, tagging hands along the way.
Nick Stuart: The Dangerous Mix originally signed on to participate in the PRIME Tag Team Survivor Challenge, but after they were eliminated they signed a long-term contract to be a part of the burgeoning tag team division, and they show promise!
Richard Parker: They do, and they clearly know their way around the ring, but this is the big stage, and they better bring it if they’re going to be a mainstay around here!
Fox is the first to get onto the ring, hopping onto the apron and climbing up the turnbuckle from the outside, stopping to look down on the Masters of the Multiverse B-Team like an intimidating owl, before dropping down to the mat.
Mushigihara follows suit by Fox’s side, climbing onto the apron and stepping between the ropes, glaring with rage at the Masters, before bellowing out a thunderous…
The music fades as the Mix take their corner, not letting eyes off their opponents for one second. Freeman and Schwartz discuss briefly before Freeman points at the apron. After a second, Schwartz obliges and steps out.
Nick Stuart: Looks like Kenny Freeman wants to start this match off against the man nicknamed The God-Beast, Richard.
Richard Parker: Makes sense, Nick. I always like to fight people 140 pounds heavier than me.
Kenny Freeman goes into a collar and elbow tie-up with Mushigihara, and surprising no one the big man gets the advantage. He shoves Kenny back, who rolls to his feet and nods, pointing to his biceps.
Nick Stuart: Kenny Freeman acknowledging the strength of Mushigihara.
Richard Parker: Hard not to.
Freeman then looks to his tag team partner and tags him in.
Nick Stuart: I guess he’s tired?
Schwartz steps forward for a tie-up and gets sent back just the same as Kenny did. Without posturing, he goes in for another tie-up, but feints and goes behind Mushi, hitting him with an elbow to the back. He follows that up with several strikes before going for a German suplex. Mushi braces himself, then hits an elbow to Schwartz’s face.
Nick Stuart: Stiff shot by the God-Beast!
Mushi bounces off the ropes as Randall staggers and drives his shoulder into the smaller man, knocking him down. He looks down at him for a second, then bounces off the ropes and hits the fallen Schwartz with a huge splash.
Nick Stuart: Kickout by Randall Schwartz, but he’s a little woozy from this early onslaught by Mushigihara.
Richard Parker: Maybe he should’ve picked the Multiverse where he actually has muscles.
Schwartz tries to get to his feet but Mushi grabs him and drags him to the Dangerous Mix corner, where David Fox is waiting. He tags in and climbs to the top rope, then jumps down with an axe handle on Randall Schwartz’s shoulder. Schwartz stumbles away, and Fox uses the opportunity to grab his head from behind and take him down in a bulldog.
Nick Stuart: Another cover from Dangerous Mix!
And Schwartz kicks out again, instinctively reaching over for his corner. Fox grabs his head and pulls him to the far corner, where he lays into him with kicks and punches.
Nick Stuart: This rivalry seemed to have started over coffee, but David Fox is treating it as professionally as expected from the veteran.
Richard Parker: Got to love grudge matches over a caramel macchiato.
Fox grabs Schwartz in a Muay Thai clinch and begins to attack Schwartz with knee strikes. Schwartz stumbles away, trying to get to Freeman, but Fox grabs him and hits him with a reverse neckbreaker. He then tags Mushigihara back in.
Nick Stuart: The fans seem to love the big man out of Japan, don’t they?
Richard Parker: Or they love the predictability of a wrestler who only says one word. It’s why so many kids love Groot.
Mushigihara goes over to Schwartz, who moves quickly and grabs Mushigihara’s legs.
Nick Stuart: The Schwartz special! The most devastating move in wrestling, also known as the rollup!
Richard Parker: How does this guy have a job?
Mushi kicks out quickly, but it gives Randall a chance to tag in Kenny Freeman, who bounds over the ropes and rushes the God-Beast.
Richard Parker: Awesome, we might actually get some wrestling now.
Freeman leaps at Mushi, who catches him and holds him over his head. Then, he begins to do barbell presses, much to the crowd’s delight. Each time he lifts, though, he doesn’t count. Instead, he…
Finally, he slams Freeman on the ground to a big cheer. Mushi acknowledges the crowd, waving. Freeman slowly gets to his feet in the meantime.
Richard Parker: Big man should’ve gone for the pin there, he might pay for it.
He does, as Freeman knocks back Mushi into his corner, inadvertently tagging in Fox. Fox comes in to lay Freeman out with a clothesline, but he ducks and hits Fox with a big dropkick. Fox gets to his feet only to be taken down with a snap suplex, which Kenny quickly turns into a lateral press cover.
Nick Stuart: David Fox kicks out, but it looks like the Masters of the Multiverse B Team are taking control of the match!
Richard Parker: You need to give them a shorter name, that’s a real mouthful.
Nick Stuart: What do you suggest?
Richard Parker: B-Team works. Or just jackasses.
Kenny lifts Fox up and slaps a chinlock on Fox, wrenching at his neck. Fox struggles for a few moments, reaching for Freeman before trying to get to his feet. At first Freeman holds him down, but eventually Fox gets to one foot, then the other, and then gets his arm behind Freeman’s back. He lifts him up for a suplex, but Freeman lands on his feet and immediately hooks Fox up with a German suplex. But…
Nick Stuart: Wow! Now it’s Fox who lands on his feet! Both men showing great agility and athleticism! Now here comes Fox with his own German suplex! High bridge, Jimmy Turnbull is in position!
Nick Stuart: Freeman with the kickout! And our opening contest tonight is a back and forth affair!
Richard Parker: Both teams are showing more resiliency than I thought.
Fox picks Freeman up, who swipes his arms down and hits him with a right fist! Fox fires back, and the men trade punches before Fox has Freeman up against the ropes. He throws Freeman against the ropes, then drops as Freeman comes back. Freeman jumps over, then goes for a clothesline but Fox ducks. Fox then runs in the other direction, they both meet in the middle…
Nick Stuart: Double clothesline, and both men are down!
Richard Parker: Both men need to make a tag. The only problem for the B-Team is that one partner has Mushigihara to tag in, and other has…Randall.
Both men slowly try to crawl to their corners as the crowd gets behind David Fox. Fox and Freeman both leap to tag their partners at the same time. Mushi steps inside the apron as Randall Schwartz…steps off of it and runs around the ring.
Nick Stuart: Schwartz isn’t ready to go toe-to-toe with the God-Beast!
Mushi slides under the ring ropes as Schwartz goes to a corner of the ring and bends down. While he does, Kenny Freeman starts to talk to Jimmy Turnbull about grapes, or aerospace engineering, or something. Mushi catches up to Randall, who turns around and throws something in his face.
Nick Stuart: What was that?
Richard Parker: I think it was a chai latte! Chai in the eyes! Chai in the eyes!
Nick Stuart: And Mushigihara is INCENSED!
Richard Parker: Not with fire, though, because the coffee wasn’t hot. Why do these guys only throw iced coffee?
Since it is not scalding hot, Mushi is merely furious, as he wipes his eyes and stares daggers at Randall Schwartz. And as Kenny and Jimmy Turnbull end their conversation, Randall decides the best course of action…
Is to run.
Nick Stuart: There he goes! He’s running around the ring and up the ramp, and Mushigihara is right behind him!
Richard Parker: I hope he catches him.
David Fox and Kenny Freeman notice their partners running up the ramp and hop down to run after them. Jimmy Turnbull screams after them for a few moments before shaking his head and calling for the bell.
DING DING DING!
Vince Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a double countout, this match is a NO CONTEST!
Boos ring out as the four competitors disappear behind the ring curtain.
Nick Stuart: Well both teams were competitive at certain points of this match, but the feud that started over coffee has now been furthered by chai.
Richard Parker: Best fed in the world, folks.
Nick Stuart: Let’s send it over to our colleague Angelica Brooks, who is standing by with a very special interview.