MASTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE…B-TEAM vs. SOLID GOLD ROCK ‘N ROLL
“Hell is gone and Heaven’s here, there’s nothing left for you to fear.
Shake your ass, come over here.
“Let Me Entertain You,” by the one and only Robbie Williams serves to greet the MGM Grand Garden Arena. The camera flies through the building, soaring past the roaring fans of Las Vegas and highlighting everyone’s favorite part of the show: the signs!
DOES BLOOD PUDDING COME WITH A SIDE OF BLOOD SAUSAGE?
BEANS BEANS THE MUSICAL FRUIT
WHO IS THE MINOTAUR?
RIP JOE FONTAINE
I HOPE MIKEY UNLIKELY IS OK
BEATS. BEARS. BATTLE ROYALS.
THIS IS THE COOLEST MAIN EVENT I’VE EVER SEEN
BUY THE SHIRT, YOU COWARDS
I BOUGHT THE SHIRT, ANNA, I’M NOT A COWARD
MORBIUS IS A REZIN BIOPIC
Out stroll the Masters of the Multiverse’s B-Team, the duo of Kenny Freeman and Randall Schwartz, waving, pointing, and posing their way down the ramp to what they hope will one day be adoring fans.
Nick Stuart: It’s a beautiful night for a revival, folks! Welcome back to the ACE Network, the MGM Grand Garden Arena here in Las Vegas, Nevada, and ReVival, count em’! Number 10!
Richard Parker: We’re in the double digits now, Nick! No turning back!
Nick Stuart: And no turning back before the Great American Nightmare coming in two weeks! But first, tonight’s ReVival has more story to tell before our second super show! Including the last stop of Survivor, with the remaining teams of Fighting for Nora, Blue Live Crew, and the duo of Nova and Garbage Bag Johnny competing for the shot at the Tag Team straps at Great American Nightmare!
Richard Parker: And in our main event, FLAMBERGE will, unfortunately, square up with Cancer Jiles. With any luck we’ll wind up with a new brand of egg-flavored Bret’s chips.
Nick Stuart: Gross. There’s that and much more, but first! Kenny Freeman and Randall Schwartz face off against Barry Delgado and Trent Sadikaj!
Richard Parker: Let’s ROCK!
Vince Howard: Tonight’s opening bout is a scheduled tag team competition! First, from southern California, at a combined weight of 336 pounds…The Masters of the Multiverse! B-Team!
Freeman and Schwartz, meanwhile, have taken every advantage of Nick and Richard’s intro to earn some love from the crowd to marginal effect before Robbie Williams fades out…
…and is replaced with a sorely needed kick in the teeth from Mastodon.
“I CAN SEE WHAT THE WORLD HAS DONE TO YOU!
I CAN FEEEL THE WEIGHT!
FEEEL THE WEIGHT!”
“The Motherload” batters through the speakers like an avalanche wearing skin tight leather jeans and a zebra-striped headband. Barry Delgado walks out standing nine feet tall despite being five-foot five, followed by the lanky frame of Trent Sadikaj, just oozing with SEX.
Richard Parker: Oh YEAHHH!!
Vince Howard: And their opponents! At a combined weight of 471 pounds…Boogie and Electric Boots! They are SOLID! GOLD! ROCK N’ ROLL!
Bras, panties, and men’s boxer-briefs soar through the air as the rockstars stroll into the ring. Delgado pushes his hands through his immaculate mullet, while Trent blows sensual kisses to the crowd at ringside.
Nick Stuart: We’ve seen both these teams exit the Survivor competition, and both are looking for their first tag team victory here in PRIME. Tonight, one will get over the hump, and the other will continue the search.
Richard Parker: And we all know who’s gettin’ over the hump, bay-bay! OWWW!!!
Barry stands in his corner, Trent rubbing his shoulders from outside the ropes, while Randall Schwartz is the first up for MotM, with Freeman ensuring him that he’ll be okay.
Schwartz cautiously walks forward to meet Boogie center. The mustachioed, mulleted monster raises a hand and reaches forward, to which Randall looks back at Freeman with uncertainty.
Nick Stuart: And Delgado looks to start ReVival 10 with a test of strength!
Richard Parker: Barry Delgado is the strongest man AL-I-YI-YI-IIIIVEE!
Nick Stuart: Richard…where did that studded armband come from?
The ‘Entertainer’ carefully reaches out to meet Boogie’s hand. They lace fingers, and Delgado quickly puts Randall in a vice grip, twisting his arm around with a yelp, dropping him to a knee.
Nick Stuart: …and are you wearing eyeliner?
Randall squirms away, but only thanks to the MEEERCY!!! of Barry Delgado releasing his grip. Schwartz scrambles back to his corner, slapping Freeman’s hand and clambering through the ropes. K-Free sighs before stepping into the ring to meet the eager Delgado. After a quick circle the two lock up, but for what Freeman makes up for in (a little bit) of height, he lacks in strength and weight advantage, finding himself driven into the corner.
Nick Stuart: Delgado ramming Freeman in the gut with those boulder shoulders! Two, three times! He climbs up onto the bottom rope, punching down into Freeman’s skull! Turnbull with the warning and the count…and a big headbutt to cap it off!!
Richard Parker: Heaven above!!!
Boogie hops off the ropes and struts across the ring, arms out and his palms up, nodding with a grin to his partner in Trent Sadikaj, giving him a high five and a slick palm slide. Boots swings those R-rated legs over the top rope with ease, dripping with swagger as he approaches the dazed Freeman. He blows a kiss into his palm before absolutely slapping the taste out of K-Free’s mouth.
Nick Stuart: Oooh, a sharp slap to the cheek from the long arm of Trent Sadikaj!
Richard Parker: Most righteous, sugar!
Solid Gold’s front man pulls Kenny away from the corner, dropping to his hip and sending him over with a swift arm drag, standing tall before landing a knee into K-Free’s chest. A second knee takes the wind out of him, and Trent takes the opportunity to pull his opponent to his feet, throwing him into the corner with a hard whip.
Nick Stuart: Solid Gold in control of this match! Electric Boots feeding Freeman’s chest a few big backhands before pushing a long leg into his face, pinning him into the turnbuckle! Turnbull with another warning and the count!
Sadikaj let’s Jimmy “Turnbuckles” count to a healthy five before pulling his big, devastatingly sexy boot away from Freeman’s jaw. Sadikaj slinks away, walking backwards with his long arms stretched out, giving Freeman all the time he needs to recover with a cocky smirk. He reaches a hand behind him toward Boogie for a sneaky tag, Delgado getting ready to step through the ropes.
Nick Stuart: Trent with the tag, and Freeman still wiping the bottom of Trent’s boot from his face! Boots taunting Kenny with a wink and a kiss, and Kenny’s ready for the offensive! He charges forward, Boots ducks a swing from Freeman…OH MY!!!!! HUGE LARIAT FROM DELGADO!
Richard Parker: It’s a revelation, babayyy!
Boogie stumbles forward after absolutely leveling Freeman with a monstrous lariat, pursing his lips together to let out an audible “oooooooooo!” to the crowd, knowing damn well how naaassstyyy! that lariat was. Freeman sits up, fully dazed, and Delgado gives him assistance to his feet before hoisting him into a front rack. With a gratuitous grunt, the Mound of Mullet and Muscle easily presses Kenny overhead, taking him for a lap around the ring before dropping him to his stomach dead center.
Richard Parker: Feel the THUNDER! Feel the LIGHTNIN’!!!
Nick Stuart: Take your tie off your head!!! Huge Gorilla Press from Delgado! He’s eating it up!!
Barry flexes his ample biceps, walking backwards and pointing a finger to Trent, who points back with a flex of his own.
Nick Stuart: Boogie back-stepping toward the Master’s corner, but his eyes are on his partner!
Richard Parker: Heads up, Boogie Baby!!!
Delgado’s broad back bumps into the turnbuckle, but that’s not all that’s waiting for him. In a rare moment of bravery, Randall Schwartz throws a hard forearm into the back of Delgado’s head, forcing him to stumble forward. Boots turns with a glare, then rushes toward the corner to retaliate, but Schwartz hops off the apron to the safety of ringside, escaping Barry’s wrath.
Nick Stuart: Schwartz jumping in to spoil Solid Gold’s party! Barry doesn’t appreciate it!
Richard Parker: Eyes on the prize, Boogie!
Trent hollers to his partner to turn around, but to no avail, as Freeman has made his way to his feet, taking the opportunity to wrap Barry up from behind, take a huge breath, and send Delgado over with a German suplex.
Nick Stuart: Finally some offense from the Masters of the Multiverse!!
Richard Parker: …B Team.
Kenny, while woozy, keeps the momentum going, throwing himself off the ropes and hitting Boogie with a low dropkick, sending him to his back. Freeman feels the energy, bouncing off the ropes again toward the downed Delgado, stopping to tilt his head down, dance his feet and spin in a 360, before leaping and landing a leg drop across Barry’s neck.
Nick Stuart: Follow the Freeman!! K-Free looking for the Freeman Special!
K-Free makes moves to get Barry locked in, but Boots scrambles away to his corner, leaping to tag the long arm of Electric Boots. Trent hops the ropes quickly, and after a crow hop throws one of those sensuous, luscious, bedazzled boots toward Freeman’s head.
Nick Stuart: Superkick attempt from Sadikaj, big whiff! K-Free ducks forward and he’s off the ropes! Boots responding with a spinning heel kick…DUCKED AGAIN! Freeman baseball slides under that long leg!
The Solid Gold frontman is quick to his feet after the second miss, striding forward and visibly frustrated, but he doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, as Freeman pops up in defense, clapping Trent’s ear with an enziguri.
Richard Parker: C’mon now, Boots Baby!
Nick Stuart: Sadikaj is down! Freeman is gassed!
K-Free breathes heavily while Trent stirs, though still able to start crawling his way toward his corner, Barry reaching out and ready to barrel in. Kenny rolls over to a knee, shifting toward his partner, who reluctantly holds out his hand.
Nick Stuart: Both opponents in need of the tag!!
With the crowd roaring and in a simultaneous burst, Trent launches forward to clap Barry’s hand, while Freeman stumbles to his corner, tagging in Randall. Boogie and The Entertainer rush in, and much to his own surprise, Randall catches Barry off guard with a side-kick to the quad. Schwartz takes a cautious moment before throwing a right hand to Barry’s noggin, stepping to the side after the punch, then decides to put Delgado in a headlock.
Nick Stuart: Schwartz has Barry in a headlock! Where does the Entertainer go from here…but Barry with the reversal!!
Delgado loosens Randall’s grip with a couple hard elbows into his gut, keeping him doubled over. Having no interest in an encore tonight, he stands, shoving Randall’s head between his legs before rolling him up into powerbomb position. After pushing him further in the air via gripping the shorts (a SOLID 5’,10” in the air), he sends him hammering home to the mat.
Richard Parker: MEEERCY! KISS THE DEVIL!!
Nick Stuart: He’s not finished yet!
Boogie shakes his shoulders, feeling lightning and thunder in the veins, and takes a moment to give Boots a tag in the corner. Trent makes his way up top, while Barry returns to the downed Schwartz. After some lifting and positioning, Randall finds himself atop Mount Delgado and facing a perched Electric Boots.
Richard Parker: These boys got a reputation, sugar!
With a great push from those lengthy stems, Trent flies forward and clobbers The Entertainer with a magnificent clothesline.
Richard Parker: A BAD REPUTATION, BABY!
Nick Stuart: Randall is down! Trent with the cover! Jimmy Turnbull with the count!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winners! SOLID! GOLD! ROCK N’ ROLL!!
Nick Stuart: And Boogie and Boots find their first victory in the PRIME ring!!
“The Motherload” hits the speakers as Barry and Trent celebrate. Barry flexes his pythons, nodding his head, while Trent rocks onto his toes and tilts back, letting out an audible “OOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” Eventually they turn to the ramp, paying much needed attention to the loving ladies on their way out. Meanwhile, Freeman tends to the stirring Randall Schwartz.
Nick Stuart: A great performance to kick off ReVival 10!
Richard Parker: That match was SOLID GOLD, Mama!
Nick Stuart: Okay that’s enough, put your shirt back on. And folks, stick around! A triple-threat involving Ria Nightshade, Mortimer Kjedelig, and Balaam the Mask of Malice is coming up next! Right here in Las Vegas!
Richard Parker: On the ACE Network, baaabyy!