Matt Ward Meets The Donkey
Nick Stuart: What a night it has been so far here on ACE, live from the MGM Grand, and we still have plenty of PRIME to go.
Richard Parker: So, while we were off, what did you get into? Any new hobbies?
Nick Stuart: Hobbies?
Richard Parker: I’m trying to catch up with my old partner here. Did you get into any hobbies? Join any clubs? Find Hoyt in your life. Ran a marathon. I don’t know, hobbies.
Nick Stuart: Its funny you should ask. I took a class in origami and have gotten pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.
Richard Parker: What is that, a weird kink?
Nick Stuart: Nope, it’s the art of paper folding.
Nick grabs a piece of paper and folds it into a swan and hands it to Richard Parker who looks at in bewilderment.
Richard Parker: Now what I’m I supposed to do with this?
Nick Stuart: Keep it, it’s now art.
Richard Parker: So, because you fold something that looks like a duck….
Nick Stuart: …swan
Richard Parker: …a swan!!! I’m now obligated to keep it? Lame. Is it like a fortune cookie, is something inside of it? That would be fun.
Richard unfolds it looking for a hidden message but is sadly disappointed, as is Nick Stuart whose artwork has been destroyed right in front of him.
Nick Stuart: You ruined it!! Let’s go backstage for a meeting of sorts.
We’re brought to the backstage office of Matt Ward. No, not the world famous folk singer. Fans once knew him as PRIME’s Wrecking Ball but now he’s known as the Executive Vice President of Talent Strategy and Development. He’s even got a shiny name plate on his desk. The office is simple, a bit cold, much like the man who occupies it. Ward is on the phone with obviously a secretary.
Matt Ward: I’m not sure how this guy got on my schedule, but I’ll hear him out. Send in … “The Donkey?” Is that right, the Donkey? Jesus. Ok.
In walks a homely homeless looking man with messy gray hair, dark circles under his eyes, and an uneven, messy beard. He is short, stocky, and dressed in sweatpants and a stained red and black flannel shirt. His eyes are crossed, his nose is large, his ears are calloused, and he just seems out of place and out of sorts. Matt Ward shakes his hand and offers him a seat.
Matt Ward: Please have a seat Mr. Donkey.
The foul man chuckles briefly as he sits down.
The Donkey: For I am a messenger from the other side and perhaps my name is not traditional for your times. So, to make things more comfortable why don’t you just call me Joe. Joe Burro.
Matt Ward: Like the football player?
Joe Burro: I’m not familiar, but sure.
Matt Ward: Well Mr. Burro, we’re in the middle of a show, so my time is short. I understand you applied and received a manager’s license here in PRIME. I thought you were bringing in your talent today?
The man chuckles a bit as he grabs a mint from a candy jar on the desk in the shape of Tony Rolo’s head. He sucks on the mint for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Joe Burro: Mmmmm Minty. Yes, I feel like we may have a misunderstanding. For I am simply a courier. You see, Mr. Ward, I’m not sure how versed you are on the history of the Luchadores and wrestling’s roots to the heavens? The Gods have been into wrestling from the Old Testament, the New Testament, to testaments yet to be written.
Tempted by the enjoyment the Donkey is having with his mint, Matt Ward grabs a piece for himself.
Matt Ward: I know some of the history. Mr. Burro, but again, my time is limited here. Can we speed this up?
Joe Burro: Luchadores are Gods of sorts. Weaker Gods, or pieces of Gods, or knights of Gods who are sent to different realms to compete in the game of wrestling, mainly in Mexico. Masks are sacred and a physical representation of a God’s divine grace. In mythology, Luchadores are folk heroes and symbols of justice as perceived by the humans who also enjoy the God’s combat game.
Matt Ward: Right, right, right, symbols of Gods. I got it.
Joe Burro: Mictlāntēcutli was an Aztec God of the underworld. A large skull headed man with empty eye sockets that emitted light. A God with a head dress of owl feather, a neckless of human eyeballs, and ear spools made from human bones. A real bad hombre, Mr. Ward. He governed the afterlife where he judged souls based on normal deaths, heroic deaths, and non-heroic deaths. In Mictlāntēcutli’s possession was the bones of the creatures of the previous world of the 4th Sun. Another God, Quetzalcoatl, came to gather these bones. Mictlāntēcutli did not make it easy and put Quetazal through some very unfair tests. In the end broken badly Quetazal escaped with the bones. The goddesses took these bones and mixed them with Quetazal’s blood and mankind was created as the first woman and man who walked this earth known by western mythology as Adam and Eve.
Matt Ward: Right? Again, where are we going with this? I appreciate the history lesson but would be even more appreciative of getting to the point.
The creepy man places an even creepier burlap sack on the desk besides the mints.
Joe Burro: Time is a concept that is perplexing to the Gods whom are timeless. Anyway. It turns out that Mictlāntēcutli wasn’t completely honest. Given the fact that in western mythology his name translates loosely to Lucifer it’s completely understandable. So Mictlāntēcutli kept the bones of the previous world’s greatest warrior in a gold chest in his kingdom. A few years ago, the son of God, my Master, paid a visit to Mictlāntēcutli challenging him to a steel cage death match for Mictlāntēcutli’s kingdom of Mictlan and those forgotten bones or, if he lost, my master’s eternal servitude. Given he’s the son of the main God Ra, it intrigued Mictlāntēcutli as he hated Ra. A real blood feud you don’t have time for me to explain. All the Gods attended the sold-out event where we saw my God kill Mictlāntēcutli by ripping off his Lucha mask and exposing his rotting skin. Actually, he cut his head off but symbolism is better for folklore sake.
Matt Ward: Sorry I missed the big event, but we are short on time.
Joe Burro: You don’t know how true those words are, Mr. Ward. After the victory my GOD claimed control of the kingdom of Mictlan and found those old sacred bones. Grinding the bones of the old-world warriors mixed with the bones of the fallen Mictlāntēcutli and my Masters blood, he fused them into Mictlāntēcutli’s old Lucha mask and created this.
The creepy man pulls out a mask and lays it on the desk next to the mint jar. The mask is also creepy as it appears gold and black in color made to look like a skull head with an owl feather head dress. It has golden tusks and the eyes appear to be glowing white. A smaller golden skull sits in the middle of the forehead.
Joe Burro: Whoever wears this mask will be free of all injury and have the power, wits, and skill of the old world’s best warriors and Mictlāntēcutli himself. The catch is whatever earthly person who wears it will be under the control of my God. My God told me to tell you to choose carefully to whom you want to wear his mask as they will be unstoppable. Pick your own poison carefully Mr. Ward for hell will follow.
Matt Ward cracks a smile while looking inquisitively at the mask as he stands up from behind his desk.
Matt Ward: Yeah, that’s not really the direction PRIME is going. I’m sorry to waste your time Mr. Burro but we’re going to pass on the mask, or what not. I have great respect for Lucha tradition and if you would like to comeback with a Lucha star perhaps we can arrange another meeting but the mask controlling a person gimmick really isn’t going to work here. Sorry.
Joe Burro: Tragic. If you change your mind the mask remains.
Matt Ward: It’s a hard no Mr. Burro, if you would please take the mask with you that would be great.
Joe Burro: My God will not be pleased. This was your only chance to make a simple choice that will define the future of PRIME.
The creepy man shoves the mask back into the sack and exits as Matt Ward shakes his head and grabs another mint.
Nick Stuart: I’m not sure what the hell that was.
Richard Parker: A historic mask, Stuart! Pay attention. It belongs in a museum!
Nick Stuart: OK, Dr. Jones, let’s move on.
Richard Parker: Who?