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Number One by Definition

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MERCH ALERT *AIRHORN*

Event: ReVival 8

Event Date: 05/20/2022

MERCH ALERT *AIRHORN*

MERCH ALERT *AIRHORN*

???: You know…we were going to make this a super dramatic thing.

Smash cut to Anna Daniels reclining…somewhere in her timeship with a steaming cup of tea sat right beside her on a table. There’s a smirk that emerges on the vessel’s face. The voice is calm and cultured.

Anna Daniels: We were going to write out–

Ah-hem.

Anna Daniels: Oh. Sorry. Kayfabe. We were going to film a whole commercial in beautiful black and white ripping off whatever fashion designer we chose at random. We were going to have this rip roaring speech about the old and stagnant, something about cults, and perhaps a slightly snarky reference to PRIME’s resident masked totally-not-a-former-Mafioso Mozzarella Kaleidoscope, depending on our mood.

Her slender fingers pick up the tea cup. The smirk turns into a smile.

Anna Daniels: But then we figured “screw that! Let’s get down to business!” So we shall.

She takes a sip of her tea. Actually, it’s more than a sip. It’s a full on chug on this steaming liquid down her throat. Then she bites into the edge of the teacup, chews the remains in her mouth, and…swallows?

Anna Daniels: How does one start a new era? How does one become such? Paraphrasing the brilliant words of otherverse wrestler, vtuber enjoyer, and philosopher Great O-Kahn: “First we conquer the world of merch.”

A wild picture appears! Cue the knockoff Clearly-Not-Pokémon Wild Not-Pokémon jingle.

Anna Daniels: See this? This is our shirt. It’ll be available at The PRIME-Porium in-person and online as soon as this episode ends. Buy it or you’ll get your fucking head kicked in.

And just as quickly, the Wild Picture escaped. Anna’s still here though.

Anna Daniels: You don’t think we will? Try it.

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