MIKE MCGEE VS. TONY GAMBLE
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I’M HERE TO SEE THE LOVE COMPANY
BUCKY VS. MAGIC DUCK
BOOK IT, YOU COWARDS
REAL WRESTLING RETURNS TO HOUSTON
SYKES + YOUNGBLOOD = TEAM MANLY THICC
REZIN + COLTON = METH BACON
FINALLY REAL SEGMENTS RETURN TO HOUSTON
WHERE CAN I GET A LION BLING SHIRT, ABE?!
TOXIC HELL BANSHEE
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WORK PANTS: A VACATION FOR MY LEGS
WARBY PARKER DAVIDSON
JACE READ THE SMALLEST LINE
E
F P
T O Z
L P E D
P E C F D
E D F C Z P
I AM IN THE GORILLA
GORILLA BUTT STUFF
SYKES + YOUNGBLOOD = LUMPY DUMPTY
DOG COURT
I THINK I PIED A LITTLE
I BET BRIAN WON’T SEE THIS SIGN
Wasn’t that fun? Let’s go to Nick and Richard at the commentation station!
Nick Stuart: For our opening contest, we have Tony Gamble taking on Mike McGee.
Richard Parker: This is Tony’s moment, Nick! I can just feel it.
Before we get to his moment, let’s get to his opponent.
“Bright Future in Sales” by Fountains of Wayne plays and the PRIMEView shows a lot of different spreadsheets with formulas and TPS forms. McGee walks to the ring in a “business casual” singlet – double hooked and made to look like a collard shirt and slacks.
Vince Howard: Our opening contest is for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Maplewood, New Jersey…MIKE! MCGEEEEEEEEEEEE!
McGee sneers at fans and gives out warnings as he waits for his opponent.
“You think I’m funny… Funny how?”
The unmistakable voice of Joe Pesci irritates the eardrums right before Metallica’s ‘Better Than You’ begins to blast through the PA System, the calling card of Tony ‘The Grin’ Gamble. He walks out at the same time the music kicks in, passing a quick arrogant glance toward the crowd before making his way toward the ring once the lyrics of the song kick in.
## I look at you, then you me
Hungry and thirsty are we
Holding the lion’s share
Holding the key
Holding me back ’cause I’m striving to be ##
Footage from Revolution 94 when Gamble locked The Illustrious Face Eater into his ‘Smile For Me’ submission and won the Internet Title plays.
## Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you ##
Tony takes his time walking up the ring steps, staring into the ring for a few seconds with his left hand on the top rope, before ducking between the top and middle rope to step into the ring. Footage from Revolution 106 plays, where Gamble slams Kenjiro Ito face first into the mat with his ‘Stop Laughing At Me’ signature move.
## Lock horns, I push and I strive
Some how I feel more alive
Bury the need for it
Bury the seed
Bury me deep when there’s no will to be ##
Another clip shows, this one from the Great American Nightmare; where Tony Gamble became the Five Star Champion by pinning Chandler Tsonda.
## Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you ##
Gamble saunters towards Ashley Barlow as the referee gives Tony some last minute warnings before the match.
DING DING!
Nick Stuart: And here we – oh wow, McGee charging right at Gamble!
Richard Parker: May as well be holding a sign saying “Drop toe hold me, please!”
Indeed, that’s what happens as Gamble immediately drops down, causing the charging McGee to fall. Gamble doesn’t press his advantage, he merely stands up and holds his hands high, causing the fans to boo.
Nick Stuart: No love lost between the fans and either competitor, Richard. Who are the fans going to get behind when the match starts rolling, do you think?
Richard Parker: Me, of course.
Nick Stuart: What do you – oh, okay.
Richard Parker stands up on the table and starts to pump his fist. The fans around the desk begin to cheer wildly. Tony Gamble looks over and, mistaking the action for support, bows in their direction.
Richard Parker: Give back that bow, Tony! Those were my cheers!
The bow has distracted Tony enough to give McGee time to react, and he turns Tony around and sends a kick to the midsection, then lifts Gamble up in a Gourdbuster, then goes for a quick cover.
ONE!
TW…
Nick Stuart: Kickout by Gamble. Both men having focus issues early on, they’ll both need to commit themselves mentally to get the win tonight.
Richard Parker: Even though I’m mad at him for stealing my cheers, Tony has to be the winner tonight. He’s had a rough stretch but McGee still hasn’t gotten a win in PRIME. Perfect get-right match.
Nick Stuart: Or it could be a trap, Richard, as McGee lifts Gamble up and hits him with a vertical suplex!
McGee quickly bounds on gamble and grabs his ankle, trying to lock in the ankle lock. However, before he can, Gamble grabs the ropes and uses his other foot to kick McGee off. McGee stumbles backwards and it gives Tony Gamble just enough time to…slide under the ropes and walk around the ring.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: Tony Gamble doesn’t appear to be too eager to get back in the ring.
Richard Parker: I wouldn’t either, have you seen that weirdo on jabber? I think he may actually be possessed by demons.
McGee is walking to where Gamble is pacing, grabbing the ropes and shaking them. He starts shouting at the top of his lungs, causing Gamble to take a few steps back. Then, Gamble starts to circle the ring again. Ashley Barlow begins the count.
ONE!
TWO!
Gamble looks at Barlow, walks to the apron, puts on leg on it, and then pushes himself off, smiling. Barlow doesn’t change her expression as she continues to count.
THREE!
FOUR!
Nick Stuart: Tony Gamble better decide he wants to be a part of this match, or Mike McGee is going to get his first victory!
Richard Parker: Kind of a cheap way to get it, but I’m sure he won’t be complaining.
Gamble shows very little interest in actually getting back in the ring. Barlow shouts between counts, but he is not swayed.
FIVE!
SIX!
As the count nears ten, Tony appears to change his mind, walking towards the ring. McGee sees this and decides to strike, dashing towards the ropes and sliding in a baseball tackle…
That completely misses Gamble as he moves, then clubs McGee back in the head.
Nick Stuart: That’s what Gamble wanted all along, to bring this fight on the outside!
Richard Parker: Tony Gamble was close to being the Intense Champion at Colossus, Nick! He feels more comfortable outside of the ring.
Barlow restarts her count.
ONE!
TWO!
Tony lifts McGee up, then pushes him against the apron. As McGee’s arms open, Gamble slaps his exposed chest, creating a sound that can be heard all the way through the arena. He delivers another, then another, and then grabs McGee’s head and tosses him into the barricade. Before McGee can even try to get up, Gamble quickly gets him to his feet and throws him into the steel steps.
Nick Stuart: Mike McGee is in pain here, and look at The Grin! He’s so proud of himself.
The fans boo as Barlow continues the count.
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Tony Gamble saunters towards the ring and rolls under the ropes, popping back up to tell Ashley “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you counting.” The referee ignores him and continues her count as Mike McGee stirs on the outside.
SIX!
SEVEN!
McGee gets to his feet and stumbles to the apron, pulling himself up. Gamble meets him there and punches him, then helps drag him over the ropes. As he comes back down, Gamble adjusts the top two ropes so they’re around his neck and pull close, choking McGee.
Nick Stuart: Oh come on! That’s enough!
Richard Parker: The child the secret is that Gamble is better than McGee.
Nick Stuart: What?
Richard Parker: What if I started being really cryptic in our broadcasts like McGee is on jabber? Think that would be fun?
Nick Stuart: I don’t really.
Richard Parker: Midnight always talks to kittens.
Nick Stuart: Oh no.
Ashley is quick to start barking at Tony, who releases the hold before Ashley can get to five. Then he lets McGee fall and covers him for the pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!
Nick Stuart: McGee isn’t done yet!
Richard Parker: Radio energy never, Nebraska ends rain.
Nick Stuart: Well I don’t like this one bit.
Gamble lifts McGee to his feet and hits him with a forearm smash, then tosses McGee into the ropes. He comes back and Gamble plants him with a spinebuster. McGee howls in pain as Gamble gloats again.
Nick Stuart: And Gamble is…
Richard Parker: What’s wrong?
Nick Stuart: I just don’t want to talk about the match if you’re going to be all weird.
Richard Parker: I’ll behave if you just answer one question.
Nick Stuart: Fine, what is it?
Richard Parker: Do I look longingly open noodle?
Nick Stuart: What?
Gamble kicks at McGee as he tries to get up. He’s playing with his food now, slapping at his head. He probably feels comfortable, in control. But he’s forgetting one thing about his profession, the thing that makes it so appealing to fans.
The tide can turn at any time.
Nick Stuart: McGee grabs Gamble’s legs, double leg takedown! And now McGee is on top of him with punches! Left, right, left, right, Gamble is defenseless!
Richard Parker: Loser! Up, kick everything Jodeci!
McGee grabs Gamble and lifts him, then turns him around and grabs him from behind.
Nick Stuart: German suplex! And he’s got the hold in tight as he lifts him up again!
McGee lifts him up and slams him with another. Gamble tries groggily to escape, but McGee has him locked in tight again as he goes for a third German. But remember what I said earlier?
The tide can turn at any time.
Nick Stuart: Gamble escapes! McGee turns around…
WHAMMM!!!
Nick Stuart: Stop Laughing At Me!
Richard Parker: Sorry, Nick, I’m done with the fake messages.
Nick Stuart: No, it’s Gamble’s Front Russian Leg Sweep! And he’s on top of him now…he’s getting it locked in…Smile For Me! McGee’s got nowhere to go! He’s reaching around and pulling back on McGee’s mouth, and I don’t think…no, he’s tapping, it’s over!
DING DING DING!
Vince Howard: The winner of this match…TOOOOONEEEEEEEEEE GAAAAAAMBUUUULLLLLLLL!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Parker: What a quick turnaround by Gamble!
Nick Stuart: Absolutely, partner, and thank you for returning to normal.
Richard Parker: Behind Robinson, onto carpet kilts!
Nick Stuart: Ugh. Let’s go elsewhere.
And so we do.