MORTIMER KJEDELIG vs. TONY GAMBLE
Nick Stuart: And now we move on to a match with an interesting stipulation, Richard.
Richard Parker: Yes, Nick. If Mortimer Kjullienefries loses this match, he has to join the Gamble Adoration Syndicate. Rotten deal for him, because I joined for free!
Nick Stuart: Of course you did.
Richard Parker: And they gave me a little button of Tony’s face!
The camera goes to the ringside table, where Parker proudly displays a button on his lapel with Tony Gamble’s grinning face. There is a very small speaker where Tony’s mouth is, but let’s not worry about that right now.
“You think I’m funny… Funny how?”
Nick Stuart: Well here he is, Richard. Start adoring.
The unmistakable voice of Joe Pesci irritates the eardrums right before Metallica’s ‘Better Than You’ begins to blast through the PA System, the calling card of Tony ‘The Grin’ Gamble. He walks out at the same time the music kicks in, passing a quick arrogant glance toward the crowd before making his way toward the ring once the lyrics of the song kick in.
I look at you, then you me
Hungry and thirsty are we
Holding the lion’s share
Holding the key
Holding me back ’cause I’m striving to be
Footage from ReVolution 94 when Gamble locked The Illustrious Face Eater into his ‘Smile For Me’ submission and won the Internet Title plays.
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
Tony takes his time walking up the ring steps, staring into the ring for a few seconds with his left hand on the top rope, before ducking between the top and middle rope to step into the ring. Footage from ReVolution 106 plays, where Gamble slams Kenjiro Ito face first into the mat with his ‘Stop Laughing At Me’ signature move.
Vince Howard: Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 187 pounds…TOOOOOOOOONYYYYYYY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Richard Parker: See, Nick? Vince is a member.
Nick Stuart: That’s his job.
Lock horns, I push and I strive
Some how I feel more alive
Bury the need for it
Bury the seed
Bury me deep when there’s no will to be
Another clip shows, this one from the Great American Nightmare; where Tony Gamble became the Five Star Champion by pinning Chandler Tsonda.
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
Better than you
After a few moments, the opening riffs of “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You” by Dean Martin begins and the masked man emerges from the curtain as the lights dim and the spotlights shine on the ramp. Mortimer Kjedelig begins making his way down the ramp, pointing to the fans in attendance. As he walks by, he pays no attention to the fans, he’s there to a job and his gait shows it.
Vince Howard: And his opponent! From Horace, North Dakota. Weighing in at 248 pounds…MORTIMERRRRR KJEDELIIIIIIIIIG!
He slides into the ring under the bottom rope, step up to the middle turnbuckle and raise his hands in the air as the spotlight shines upon him. He hops off the turnbuckle and readies himself for the match as the music fades.
Nick Stuart: All right, here we go. Lots on the line for Kjedelig. Does he regain his freedom, or find a new sick form of imprisonment?
Richard Parker: Don’t put it that way, Nick. Look! We have buttons!
Mortimer wastes little time in charging at Gamble, going for a shoulder tackle. Gamble scouted it, however, and drops to his feet, rolling out of the ring to a chorus of boos.
Gamble grins as he stalks ringside, then slides under the ropes at a safe distance from Kjedelig. He beckons Kjedelig to come at him again. This time, Mortimer comes in with a swinging punch. Gamble ducks under it, but doesn’t anticipate the backhand from Kjedelig, and Gamble goes sprawling.
Nick Stuart: Gamble tried to float like a butterfly a bit too much there, and Kjedelig finally got him.
Gamble gets to his feet quickly, but Mortimer is already on top of him, grabbing him around the torso to toss him in a gutwrench suplex. He hits him with a few stomps, then walks away, pumping his fists. Surprisingly, he gets a small cheer from the crowd.
Nick Stuart: I guess the crowd is not a part of the Gamble Adoration Syndicate.
Richard Parker: The fools are missing out. Listen, the button talks!
Now we will worry about the speaker on the Tony Gamble button, because it begins playing an awful approximation of Tony Gamble’s voice.
Tony Gamble Talking Button: You want to know how I got this scar? Join GAS to find out!
Nick Stuart: How cool.
Mortimer turns around and continues the assault on Gamble. The Grin had gotten to one knee, but Mortimer rocks him with a right fix, then another, then grabs his head and hits him with a knee strike. Gamble crumples to the mat, and Mortimer drops for the pinfall.
Gamble kicks out and Mortimer grabs Gamble’s head.
Nick Stuart: These two men have had a number of run-ins over the past few weeks. There is clearly something going on between these two that we don’t quite know all the information about.
Richard Parker: What are you talking about? Mortimer is actually…
Nick Stuart: Whatever Richard is about to say has nothing to do with the match, where Mortimer Kjedelig is in firm control!
Kjedelig pulls Gamble into a front face lock and wrenches on his neck, then twists him around and falls down in a neckbreaker. Kjedelig looks down on Gamble, his face (at least the part that we can see) a picture of anger and determination. Gamble is smiling as he tries to get to his feet.
Mortimer helps Gamble up, then sends him to the turnbuckle with an impressive amount of strength. Gamble bounces off and comically falls forward.
Nick Stuart: Mortimer has the big size advantage on Gamble, and it feels like for the second time in as many matches, Mortimer is going to have to utilize that advantage to win tonight.
Mortimer lifts Gamble up and attempts to do the same to the other turnbuckle. Gamble reverses, but Mortimer reverses the reversal, sending Gamble chest first into the opposite turnbuckle. Mortimer attempts an axe handle from behind, but Gamble moves, stepping out onto the apron quickly and then drilling Mortimer with a kick to the face.
Kjedelig walks away, putting a hand to his mask and shaking his head. Gamble enters the ring and hits Kjedelig with a bulldog.
Richard Parker: Wooo! Gamble with the comeback!
Nick Stuart: I seem to remember you being quite fond of Mortimer Kjedelig in his recent matches. What changed?
Richard Parker: Kibblesandbits didn’t ever give me a button, now did he?
Tony Gamble Talking Button: Want to fit in? Adore the Grin!
Tony Gamble stomps at the legs of the fallen Kjedelig, then grabs his legs and tries to turn him over.
Nick Stuart: Gamble trying to lock in the boston crab!
Kjedelig reaches out and grabs the ropes for protection, causing Ashley Barlow to step in and separate the two. Kjedelig adjusts his legs while keeping his arms on the ropes, and when Gamble finally has the green light to pursue, he runs right into a stiff kick from Kjedelig. Mortimer pulls himself up and in a swift motion levels Gamble with a clothesline.
Nick Stuart: Big time move by Mortimer! Cover!
Gamble kicks out.
Richard Parker: Gamble needs to pick up the pace here. If he continues to work at this slower speed, the bigger Kjillianhall is going to eat him alive.
Nick Stuart: You could just call him Mortimer, you know.
Richard Parker: What?
Tony Gamble rolls to his stomach, trying to find his bearings. Kjedelig puts a knee into his back and pulls his arms back, causing him to scream. Kjedelig continues to wrench on the hold. Barlow asks Gamble if he wants to tap, but The Grin just laughs. After a few moments, Kjedelig lets go of the move, then hits an elbow drop square on the back.
Before Gamble can react, Kjedelig is back on him, lifting him up and pushing him against the ropes. He slaps Gamble across the chest with a huge slap.
Then, he sends him into the ropes. Gamble comes back and ducks under a clothesline attempt, then bounces on the other side. Mortimer bends over for a back body drop and Gamble hits his shoulder, then grabs him as he rolls over, bringing him into a pinfall attempt.
Nick Stuart: Gamble has the cover!
Mortimer kicks out, then gets up immediately just in time to eat a dropkick from Gamble. Mortimer doesn’t leave his feet, but stumbles back into the ropes. He bounces forward a bit into Gamble, who grabs him…
Nick Stuart: Big DDT by Gamble! Another cover!
Nick Stuart: Kickout by Kjedelig there, but that just shows you how dangerous a man like Tony Gamble is. You can think you have him completely down, but he takes the slightest of advantages and turns the tables.
Richard Parker: All the more reason we need to adore him!
Nick Stuart: I wouldn’t go that far.
Gamble presses his advantage, aiming a vicious stomp to the back of Kjedelig’s head. He sends another, and then lifts Mortimer up and applies a side headlock. Mortimer backs into the ropes, then sends Gamble to the other side. He comes back and goes for a flying cross body, which levels Mortimer. Mortimer gets up quickly but runs right into a spinebuster by Gamble.
Nick Stuart: Gamble is piling on the offense now!
Gamble decides not to go for the cover. Instead, he poses for the crowd, who boo loudly.
Nick Stuart: That certainly doesn’t sound like adoration to me.
Richard Parker: These fans don’t know what they’re talking about.
Gamble smirks, then finally drops for the cover.
Nick Stuart: Easy kickout by Kjedelig because Gamble wasted time hot dogging and grandstanding.
Richard Parker: Better keep your eye on the ball, Tony, he might Pearl Harbor you!
For the moment, that is not happening. Instead, Gamble lifts Kjedelig up, grabbing his head. But Mortimer snaps up and grabs Gamble’s face, giving him an eye rake.
Nick Stuart: Eye rake!
Gamble shakes his head, then counters with his own eye rake. After a moment, Mortimer recovers and gives another eye rake. Gamble then gives him another eye rake.
Nick Stuart: Dueling eye rakes!
Richard Parker: That reminds me, did I ever show you my wrestling themed remake of Deliverance?
Nick Stuart: Please no.
Richard Parker: Tony Gamble’s actually in it.
Nick Stuart: Let’s focus on the match please.
Richard Parker: After all, he sure does have a purdy…
Nick Stuart: Mortimer breaks up the eye rakes with a knee to the midsection, and then a snap suplex!
Richard Parker: Come on Tony, get it together!
Gamble is quick to his feet, but Mortimer doesn’t let him attack. He hits him with a fist to the face, then tosses him into the ropes. Rather than wait for him, he follows him and clotheslines him, sending both over the ropes. Tony tumbles to his back as Mortimer is able to stop his momentum by sitting on the apron. He looks down at Tony and snarls, then lifts him up.
Nick Stuart: Mortimer Kjedelig has a dangerous gleam in his eye!
Kjedelig grabs Tony’s arm and whips him into the steel steps, causing The Grin to groan and fall over. Mortimer steps onto the steps, beckoning for Gamble to stand up. After a few moments he finally does, and Mortimer jumps down with an axe handle smash on his forehead. Mortimer looks down at his hands and sees blood on them, as the camera gets an up-close look at the cut forehead of Gamble.
Richard Parker: Oh no, he’s busted open!
Nick Stuart: It looks like Tony Gamble’s head got cut open on those steel steps! Mortimer Kjedelig is really taking over now!
The camera cuts into Mortimer Kjedelig’s masked face. Even though most of his face is covered, the raw rage on his countenance is palpable. His chest heaves in and out and he looks down on the man who has terrorized him since coming to the fed.
Nick Stuart: Mortimer is angry, Richard. He came into PRIME and went 4 straight matches without a victory. But here he is, now with two straight wins, and he’s ready to make it a third win in a row at Tony Gamble’s expense!
Richard Parker: Come on Tony!
Gamble crawls away from Mortimer, looking to find his bearings. All he finds is a running kick to the midsection, causing him to collapse on his stomach. He then lifts Gamble up and in one swift motion suplexes him onto the back of his head on the outside. He then stands up and shouts, eliciting another small cheer.
Mortimer picks up Gamble and lifts him to his feet, then moves him to the apron. He has to practically lift Gamble up on his own because The Grin isn’t standing well by himself. Mortimer slaps him on the chest, then rolls him towards the apron. Gamble rolls and gets to all fours again, trying to stand up. Mortimer slides under the ropes and stalks Gamble, who is now crawling towards referee Ashley Barlow.
Nick Stuart: Mortimer is ready for the kill now!
Richard Parker: Come on Tony! Look! I’ll press the speaker on this button again to give you motivation!
Tony Gamble Talking Button: Devin, where are you? Devin, if you’re out there, get back with us. We miss you. I…I don’t think I can do this without you. Please. Devin. Please.
Nick Stuart: …
Richard Parker: …
Nick Stuart: …Here comes Mortimer!
As Kjedelig goes towards Gamble, the fallen Grin grabs Ashley’s legs, causing her to lose her footing, which doesn’t help as Kjedelig dives at the two. Gamble moves, causing Kjedelig to hit Barlow in the face with an axe handle, and all three fall to the floor.
Richard Parker: Hahahaha! The button worked!
Nick Stuart: Gamble just threw Barlow into the line of fire and she got knocked down!
Richard Parker: What? That’s not what happened! Mortimer just decided to hit the ref for no reason!
Gamble rolls to the side as Mortimer gets to his knees, looking down at the accidental wreckage he has caused. He puts his hand on Barlow’s back, then shakes his head. Getting to his feet, he snarls at Gamble and beckons for him to get up. When he finally does, Mortimer hits him with the Bust Out. He looks back at Barlow, who hasn’t stirred.
Nick Stuart: Mortimer wants to end it, but he can’t without the referee – wait, what’s that?
Richard Parker: Ha! Get your Adoration on!
Running down the ramp are two large men wearing black button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up. One has a black ponytail and the other is bald. For the sake of the rest of the match, I will describe them as Pony and Baldy.
Nick Stuart: It’s those two men from ReVival 15! It’s…Gamble’s GOONS!
Richard Parker: Have some respect. They’re members of the Gamble Adoration Syndicate!
They both hit the ring at the same time, and despite Mortimer hearing the crowd and feeling something is off, he is a half second too late in his reaction time. He turns and sends a fist into Baldy, but Pony gets him immediately in a full nelson, then snaps him backward in a suplex. Baldy leaves the ring for a second as Pony lifts Mortimer up and lifts Mortimer, then hits a huge bodyslam.
Nick Stuart: This is an outrage! Mortimer had the match won!
Richard just laughs as Baldy slides back under the ropes, this time with a steel chair in hand. Pony lifts Kjedelig up and then gets out of the way as Baldy brains Kjedelig with the chair.
The crowd boos lustily as Baldy and Pony rouse The Grin and the ref, then kick the steel chair out of the ring and hop the barricade, disappearing from view. Gamble slowly crawls towards the fallen Kjedelig as Barlow recovers her wits and sees the pinfall.
DING DING DING!
Vince Howard: The winner of this match…TOOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAAAAAMBUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Tony Gamble leans against the ropes, arms raised, as he looks down on Kjedelig, who is starting to stir. Gamble laughs, then rolls under the bottom rope.
Nick Stuart: That was awful! Tony was on the ropes until those goons interfered! And now Kjedelig has to join the…the damned Gamble Adoration Syndicate!
Richard Parker: I have a button for you, Morty!
Tony Gamble Talking Button: Join GAS, you’ll have a blast!