MOSCOWVERSE NUMBER ONE! FRONTIERLAND PHOOEY!
Coming back from commercial, we find ourselves backstage in the presence of the Masters of the Moscowverse: Kenny Freeman, standing tall with a smile on his face after picking up the victory over Jack Owyns earlier tonight, and Randall Schwartz seated beside him, rocking a Burger Czar t-shirt and chowing down on on a Quarter Pooder with Cheese as Kenny raises a microphone to his face to speak.
Kenny Freeman: Good evening, PRIMErades!
This gets a reaction Kenny was NOT expecting, a wave of boos from the fans inside The Pit. In fact, the reaction nearly takes him aback…or so it seems, until a smirk flashes on his face before he presses on.
Kenny Freeman: What’s wrong, Albuquerque? Did I forget to make a left turn somewhere on the way here, and end up in Bizarrotown? I beat up a Villain tonight, does that not make me a hero in this neck of the woods?
The crowd has absolutely none of this, booing Freeman some more as he just shakes his head. Randall pays no mind to any of it himself, focused solely on taking another bite from his burger as Kenny continues once again.
Kenny Freeman: Or is this about what happened a couple weeks ago? Lemme level with ya, Albuquerque…I pledged my allegiance for one reason and one reason only.
Freeman raises his free hand up, resting it upon the free shoulder of Randall, who we see pulling free a chunk of ground beef as Kenny continues.
Kenny Freeman: My pal, my partner in crime if you will, Randall Schwartz. We’ve been through a lot together in the past year or so, been up and down the damn roads trying to ply our trade…and after a while, it gets exhausting. So, when Randall pointed out an opportunity for us to get back on track after a shaky couple of months, a realization hit me like a brick wall. If a guy like Flamingoburger can hop on board the glue train, and Mortimer Knuckleduster can get himself gassed up with the Gambling Anonymous Syndicate, then why can’t the Masters take up arms as soldiers of the Red Army!
This definitely doesn’t sit well with the crowd, the boos now getting louder…and this starts to get to Kenny, the frustration growing on his face as he continues speaking, this time with a more aggressive tone in his voice.
Kenny Freeman: Don’t give me that, Albuquerque! I’m trying my best, dammit! WE are trying our best! I mean, just look at Randall here…the man can’t even stand up! He may never walk again, all thanks to the bad business practices of this locker room!
Randall smacks his leg, ignoring the fact his leg moves ever so slightly as a reflex motion as he shouts about how he can’t feel a thing as Kenny chimes back in.
Kenny Freeman: And that, PRIMErades, brings me to the topic of the next PWA event in just a couple weeks. Down in ol’ Mexico, we get to face an up-and-coming pairing in the Kings of the Final Frontierland in an exhibition match, a showcase if you will.
Bit of a mixed reaction here for the mention of the MVW team, a sign that the Masters’ actions of late have started to really sour the fans on the pair. Kenny pays this no mind as he continues, shouting the names of his opponents.
Kenny Freeman: Boone! Crockett! I heard what you had to say on Lock and Loaded, because unlike SOME people around here I actually have my finger on the pulse of this business. Production truck, roll that beautiful bean footage!
We cut to footage from MVW Lock and Loaded courtesy of PWA-TV, in which the Kings of the Frontier pick up a win in their first televised MVW match over The Lumberjacks before being interviewed post-match, the Kings promising to give it their best shot against the Masters before we cut back to a visibly angry Kenny before he speaks once more.
Kenny Freeman: Let’s make something clear, fellas…this match might have been totally optional, but the beating you two are gonna get, and the inevitable defeat that comes with it? It sure as hell won’t be when we throw hands, and in the words of the great poet Tobias Keithshire…what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico! Tell ‘em what’s up, Randall!
Kenny drops the mic in Randall’s lap, unaware that the Entertainer’s burger was sitting there as the impact leaves some mustard stains on his Burger Czar shirt. Randall still has a bit of food in his mouth, but obliges with Kenny’s request as he wipes the mustard off the mic as best he can before speaking, his mouth still stuffed with bits of Quarter Pooder meat.
Randall Schwartz: Mahcowverth nahmbah wahn! Fwuntererlahn phooey!
Kenny nods in agreement with Randall’s remarks, taking the microphone and wiping away another splotch of mustard before wrapping things up.
Kenny Freeman: Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to attend to Red Army business!
With that, Kenny pushes Randall along to leave before we cut away!