NED REFORM vs. ABE LIPSCHITZ
Nick Stuart: Up next, ladies and gentlemen… we have a contest that we do not expect to go very long.
Richard Parker: According to Doc Reform, he’s outta here after he lays down for Abe Lipschitz.
Nick Stuart: I’m skeptical… The Good “Doctor” has claimed he was leaving before. Ned Reform is nothing if not constantly posturing.
The opening chords of Beethoven’s classic Fur Elise hit as the arena takes on a purple. The classical version quickly transitions into the rock version by Cole Rolland. The fans, on pure instinct, immediately stand and begin to jeer as Ned Reform walks through the curtain dressed for action. Reform pauses at the ramp, looking around somewhat pensively. Even though he’s getting nothing but vitriol from the fans in attendance, Reform still looks at them with kindness. Ned pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, takes a deep breath, and begins to walk to the ring.
Richard Parker: He’s emotional! This is a big moment for him I’m sure.
Vince Howard: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL… introducing first, from Litchfield, Connecticut, and weighing in at 226 lbs… NEEEED REFORM!
Reform, standing in front of the room, momentarily breaks his “melancholy and reflective” vibe to angrily mouth: “DOCTOR!” before returning to a sad panda. He enters the ring with little fanfare, making his way to a corner with teary eyes as his theme fades away.
Vince Howard: And his opponent…
Cue: “Hell” by Melencholia Estatica.
Abe is all smiles as he appears from the back, globe in hand – after all, he’s been angling for this damn near two months now. Abe is flanked by SELMA and Miserée who look rather pensive about this whole ordeal.. As SELMA and Miseree hop the barricade to sit in two reserved ringside seats, Abe is laser focused on Ned as he enters the ring.
Vince Howard: From Virginia Beach, Virginia… weighing in at 210 pounds… ABE! LIPSCHITZ!!!
Abe looks Ned dead in the eye, holding up his globe and spinning it without breaking eye contact.
Richard Parker: He’s quite proud of his recent efforts to educate himself, isn’t he?
Nick Stuart: Well, when in Rome…
Abe places his globe in one of the ring corners before moving to the center of the ring and eagerly gesturing for Ned to lock-up. Reform sighs, gestures for Jimmy Turnbull to ring the bell, and lazily walks to meet Abe in the center.
DING DING!
Reform and Lipschitz are now face to face and speaking to each other – although we can’t hear what is being said between them. Finally, Reform puts a hand in Abe’s face, causing him to halt his jaw jacking. Ned then lays down in the center of the ring, gesturing for Abe to “get this over with” as the fans voice their disapproval at this lack of action.
Nick Stuart: And there it is. Reform has been saying how he plans on laying down and letting Abe get the win before walking out of PRIME forever.
Richard Parker: A sad end to a run that was… well, complicated.
Abe rubs his chin, considering this course of action. He looks to his two compatriots, who make a similar “well go ahead” motion to Ned’s. Abe shrugs and seems resigned to just let it end this way when…
TA Cole’s Voice: WAIT!
All eyes – Abe’s, Ned’s, Trumbull’s, and the fans – turn to the entrance, where an exasperated and out of breath TA Cole has appeared holding a mic.
Nick Stuart: Levi Cole, Ned Reform’s sidekick. We haven’t seen these two together in some time… I thought he was on “academic probation.”
TA Cole: Doc! (pant) You can’t do this! (pant) You can’t let it end like this! Abe! (pant) Look at me! Look at me!
Lipschitz’s brow furrows, trying to figure out what this guy is babbling about…
…when NED REFORM ROLLS HIM UP FROM BEHIND!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Nick Stuart: WHAT!?
Richard Parker: I KNEW IT!!
Abe’s shoulders have been counted to the mat. He springs back to his feet, turning to meet Ned in confusion… and REFORM SMASHES THE GLOBE OVER ABE’S HEAD!! BLUE PIECES SCATTER THE RING! MY GOD, THE HUMANITY!
Richard Parker: He’s got the whole world… upside his head!
Abe is on the mat, covering up and bleeding from the forehead… and Reform is there to meet him with relentless stomps to his injured form. Abe’s friends appear concerned about this display, but do not make a motion to help.
Ned Reform (screaming): YOU WANTED A MATCH, YES?? HERE YOU GO!
Ned pulls up Abe’s bleeding head, exposing it before meeting it STIFFLY with his boot to the face. Abe falls down, facedown and probably on dream street. Jimmy Trumbell tries to pry Reform off, but The Good Doctor has become a red-faced, snarling, out of control man possessed. He peppers Abe with kicks to the head and ribs, but after that brutal shot to the head, Abe isn’t reacting very much.
Nick Stuart: We need some help out here!
Finally, Ned Reform allows himself to pried off the young wrestler, satisfied with his bloody handiwork. Officials and the on-call doctor roll under the bottom rope and begin to check on Lipschitz as Reform, smiling broadly, steps out of the ring and begins to walk backwards up the ramp. As he does, he catches sight of how close he is to the camera and looks into it, grinning evilly.
Ned Reform: You’ll never be rid of me, you sophomoric, mediocre trash.
Reform meets Cole at the ramp and they share a manly handshake as the boos continue to rain down. In the ring, the doctors have started getting some response from the dazed and bloody Abe.
Nick Stuart: Disgusting.
We then cut to our final commercial break of the evening.