NEVER BET ON RED
Event: ULTRAVIOLENCE 2022
Event Date: 09/23/2022
NEVER BET ON RED
“Ivan Stanislav. The Russian Bear. Back from the dead.”
Opening up, we find “Event Horizon” Hayes Hanlon sitting at a roulette table inside the MGM Grand. Black button up on, sleeves rolled up. Hair and mustache on point, sipping from a gin and tonic. He places a few chips on various numbers before the dealer spins the wheel.
Hayes Hanlon: Primetime Championship Wrestling Champion. Old School Wrestling Champion. Seven feet tall, four-hundred pounds, and everything Randall Knox wasn’t.
He takes a sip and shakes his head.
Hayes Hanlon: This wasn’t the plan, sir. But hey…
The roulette pill bounces around until finally coming to rest on red 9. No chips go back to Home Run Hayes.
Hayes Hanlon: …you never really know what’s coming around here.
The dealer collects and hands out chips to the other patrons at the table. Hayes swirls his ice in the glass.
Hayes Hanlon: I know I’m unfamiliar to you. And honestly I had to really jog my memory when you popped up on the screen. I was still shitting my pants when you were terrorizing PTC. Which tells me that you’re probably not expecting much from this rookie. I’m no Meanstreak, after all. But Ivan?
Hayes tosses out a few more chips, and the dealer spins.
Hayes Hanlon: I’m pretty fuckin’ good, man.
The pill clatters, the patrons watch with excitement. Hayes, however, states focused on the camera.
Hayes Hanlon: And you’re over sixty years old. More than twice my age, and still built like a soviet tank. Still lookin’ like you can grind me into paste. And maybe you will. No one would blame me for getting my ask kicked by the Russian Bear, even after all those years.
The pill lands. Red 1. No money.
Hayes Hanlon: Or, maybe Home Run Hayes walks out and sends your giant ass through the middle of the ring.
He stands from the table, tilting back the rest of his drink.
Hayes Hanlon: I don’t plan on getting ground into paste, Ivan. And a win may be a long shot, but either way, I’m putting the roster on notice. Let the chips fall where they may.
The dealer resets, chips spread across the table.
Hayes Hanlon: But everyone knows…
The Event Horizon takes his remaining stack in hand, planting it firmly on the table’s black square, and turns back to stare at the camera.
Hayes Hanlon: …you never bet on red.
The dealer spins, but Hayes walks off, disappearing into MGM’s gambling crowd.