Outwit. Outplay. Outwrestle
Our scene fades in, with Melvin Beauregard standing in a lavishly decorated hotel suite. His J.C. Penney’s suit screams against his waistline and he smiles, unleashing his 5000 megawatt salesman smile.
Melvin Beauregard: Hello everyone, and welcome to the MGM Grand Resort, hotel, and casino! I’m coming to you live from the 28th floor of the magnificent hotel that we have here on property. We have a very important announcement to make for the evening… but first we do have a few other things to talk about.
Melvin looks a bit irritated as he looks at a bowl of fruit in the middle of the table. He picks up an apple and looks it over for a moment before continuing.
Melvin Beauregard: If the forklift could be returned to maintenance, it would be greatly appreciated. Right now there is an actual tiger in a cage waiting to be brought in for David Copperfield’s new show. Please, help us save the tiger, and the lives of our maintenance crew by letting us have our forklift back.
Melvin tosses the apple to the side, his irritation etched across his face. He composes himself for a moment and continues, while the crowd laughs about what’s already taken place this evening.
Melvin Beauregard: Also, at the Cirque tomorrow we have an exciting show. Make sure you stick around to check out the plethora of events, and eat at one of our many fine dining establishments here on the property!
The crowd boos at the screen, but Melvin continues, not able to hear the discontent amongst the crowd.
Melvin Beauregard: Now, onto the wrestling. The MGM is thrilled to announce a partnership that has been brokered with CBS and their hit television show Survivor. With the help of CBS, the MGM will be hosting the first Survivor event in PRIME history. The event will last for six weeks, and PRIME has agreed to use the event to crown the tag team champions of the world! PRIME’s TAG TEAM SURVIVOR event will kick off at Culture Shock!
The crowd begins to murmur amongst themselves as Melvin walks through the room and exits into the hallway at the MGM Grand.
Melvin Beauregard: The teams will be staying here, on the 28th floor of the MGM Grand, and each team will have one of our wonderful five-star suites as a base of operations. Participants and teams will be announced on ReVival 5.
Melvin pauses for a moment, smirking as the crowd begins to cheer.
Melvin Beauregard: Oh, I did say something about five stars didn’t I? At ReVival 4, PRIME begins its scrambles for the 5 Star Title, setting up our 5 Star Title Match also for Culture Shock! We’ll have more coming soon about PRIME’s premier event! Good luck to everyone this evening, and we’ll see you all soon.
Behind Melvin, a sound is heard coming from the elevator: a synth beat slowly rising in volume, and it’s followed by a single muffled word: “Everybody.”
The doors to the elevator slowly part, and the greatest intro in boy band history (it’s true, don’t at me) rumbles through the hall.
ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT
Oh my god, he’s back again. Brothers, sisters, everybody sing. He’s gonna bring the flavor, show you how. Got a question for ya better answer now:
How the hell did King Blueberry get a forklift onto the 28th floor of the MGM Grand?
The forklift edges out of the elevator, the gap between elevator and floor causing the forklift to rock and sending a wave of chocolate from the fountain to splatter on the floor like a cow pie.
AM I SEXUAL?
King Blueberry: YEA-AH!
AM I EVERYTHING YOU NEED YOU BETTER ROCK YOUR BODY NOW
It’s a short trip, as he carefully peruses the scene. His eyes go wide at the sight of Melvin Beauregard, and if his face wasn’t obstructed by a bright blue mask there would be a flush of color to his cheeks; like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He throws the forklift into reverse and begins backing down the hallway. The beeps, like a weirdo construction school bus, mingle with Carson Daly’s favorite jam as he makes his way back to the elevator.
Melvin turns around, sighs, and the scene fades out.