PREPARATION S.H.

Returning from commercial, Angelica Brooks is backstage, standing in front of a big blue PRIME banner and holding a microphone. She has a smart looking sport coat over a white shirt underneath, her reddish hair brushed to one side.

Standing next to her is Scott Hunter, dressed fully for a match even though he doesn’t have a match tonight. The tassels on Scott’s arm bands are waving in the wind, or air conditioning if you prefer. They’re waving. He has a serious look on his face as he stands at a three quarter angle to Miss Brooks.

Angelica Brooks: I’m here with one of the newest signings to PRIME, Scott Hunter. Scott, at ReVival 33 you made your in-ring debut against C. Mortgomery Byrnes in what appears to have been his final match. How are you feeling this week after taking a loss several weeks ago?

Scott Hunter: First of all I have no idea what you mean by taking a loss. I did not take a loss. My opponent stole a win because he is a dirty disease ridden filthy cheater! I think everyone here with eyes saw how C. Mortgomery Byrnes did the worst thing that a human being can do when he blatantly cheated in our match. And the people who don’t have eyes probably heard it, and the people without ears probably felt it. And the people without feelings probably stared at it stoically. The point is, they all know! So before you get all…

Scott waves his hands.

Scott Hunter: Interview-y… I suggest you get all of your facts straight, or at least most of them. I will accept no less than a 90% fact rate from interview people so make sure you are documenting your time.

Angelica Brooks stares at him, a bit dumbfounded, but continues.

Angelica Brooks: Uh.. ok. So…

Scott Hunter: Why am I dressed for a match this week even though I don’t technically have a match booked? I’m glad you asked. For your information, MISS BROOKS, I wear my ring gear everywhere I go. ReVival? Ring gear. Home? Ring gear. Church? Formal ring gear. Out clubbing? Hipster ring gear. Italian restaurant? Garlic ring gear. I’m prepared for every ring gear eventuality, which is a word that means something about events, because it is a major event when I appear anywhere, and that is a fact that has been verified by the Smithsonian, which is also a word that describes the children of men named Smith.

Angelica Brooks: That really doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Scott Hunter: You don’t make a lot of sense! Why are you wearing a sport coat?? It’s not cold in here! Why do your ears twitch when you talk like you have live mill worms inside of them?? Why is your hair red?? Are you even Irish? Or a clown? Or from Idaho? Why don’t you go eat some potatoes and shut up? And while you are doing that please bring me one back with bacon bits and chives because those things are delicious. But no mill worms. I don’t know why you have them in your ears. But still, shut up!

Angelica Brooks: I don’t take orders from you! Who are you to tell me to – –

Scott Hunter: Is that shutting up? It does not sound like shutting up to me. It sounds more like angrily arguing with a very famous professional wrestler, which is what you are doing and is what I am. Lips together. I have faith in you to be able to do this.

Angelica Brooks stares at Scott again, this time an angry glare washing over her face.

Scott Hunter: That’s better. You are a quick learner. I am proud of you. I would pat you on the back but I have been told that I am not allowed to touch people without their permission unless we are actively in a wrestling match. That is in the PRIME employee handbook, which is something I take very seriously except for the part about bringing Lindsay Troy a batch of homemade cookies every week. I’m not letting her get her mitts on grammy’s cookie recipe! Nice try Lindsay Troy. In conclusion, Angelica Brooks, continue shutting up. PRIME? BOOK ME! I am ready and in my gear. Did you hear what I said?? GEAR! Someone is going to feel my wrath, which is not a euphemism. It is a PROMISE!

Scott makes a fists up ‘ready’ pose, then walks off.

Angelica Brooks watches him go, then turns to leave as she rubs her temples.

Angelica Brooks: I should have called in sick.

We then cut to the ringside area.