RIA NIGHTSHADE vs. LARRY TACT
ReVival hits the ACE Network airwaves with a fuckton of pyro and fanfare. The cameras pan around the audience to showcase some of the evening’s signs…
JONATHAN RHINE CAN STIR MY GUMBO ANYTIME
I MISS MUSSY
GREAT SCOTT IS GREAT
I HOPE MIKEY UNLIKELY HITS HIS SHIN AGAINST THE COFFEE TABLE
YOUNGBLOOD SURVIVED CANCER ONCE
I SWIPED RIGHT ON WADE
BRING BACK THE MCDLT
ADAM RICHMAN FEARS PRIME CHEFS
I BOUGHT A TICKET TO SURVIVOR: FLAVORTOWN & I WANT MY MONEY BACK
NEXT LEVEL CRACK COCAINE DEALER
CALLY > PIXAR MOMS
GREAT BEAR FOR PRESIDENT
WHEN THE SURVIVOR TEAMS ARE DONE WITH THE SCAVENGER HUNT CAN THEY HELP ME FIND MY KEYS?
JOIN THE LOVE CONVOY TODAY!
I JOINED THE LOVE CONVOY AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY STD!
Without any further ado, “Pieces of Man” by Drown plays over the arena speakers as the lights cut out. Royal blue lights flicker on the stage while golden spotlights scan the crowd. They settle on center stage where Larry Tact stands. He opens his arms and puffs out his chest, soaking in the crowd’s reaction before bellowing and making his way down the ramp, the spotlight following him.
Vince Howard: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle, from Manhattan, New York! Weighing in at 260 pounds….he is LARRY TACT!
As he walks, Larry critiques some fans at ringside with petty insults before arriving to the ring. He pulls himself up using the ropes and walks slowly along the apron before wiping his boots and entering the ring. He stretches using the ropes before bouncing from side-to-side.
The MGM Grand is then bathed in neon green lighting as the synthesized drum beats of “Tonight (We’ll Make Love Till We Die)” by SSQ fill the arena. After about 40 seconds, guitars and vocals join the drums.
♫ In darkness you will find me
I dance among the dead
But very soon I’ll need to hunt the scent of blood instead
Rising from your earthbed
It thickens in the air
A smell both sweet and rancid, I know that you are near ♫
As the chorus begins, Ria Nightshade finally saunters out from backstage. As she stands near the entranceway, she drinks in the crowd while wearing her usual smirk.
Vince Howard: And his opponent….from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Weighing in at 160 pounds….she is “The Toxic Queen” RIA NIGHTSHADE!
Ria confidently strides down to ringside, stopping at the apron. She swings her right leg up, her heel resting on the apron. She turns her head back towards the crowd, giving a wink before swinging her left leg up into the apron.
She stays in the split for a second before sliding under the bottom rope. Ria then sits up on her knees before bouncing up to her feet. She picks a random corner, sashaying over that way. Once there, she leans back against the turnbuckles in a seductive pose, waiting for the match to begin.
Nick Stuart: It’s time for our first bout of ReVival 8, and I don’t know about you Richard, but I’m looking forward to this one!
Richard Parker: Wake me up when Youngblood makes Jiles bleed like a stuck pick.
Nick Stuart: We’ve got a long night ahead of us before that match, partner.
Richard Parker: Then I’m going to be sleeping well tonight, Nick!
With the tolling of the bell signaling the start of the match Larry Tact shoots across the ring, slightly surprised that Ria Nightshade isn’t on her way to meet him in the center of the ring herself. Instead of meeting the charging Tact, Nightshade rather begins moving to her left, circling the ring, putting as much distance between herself and Larry Tact as she possibly can. Larry Tact hot on her heels, anxious to get his hands on her once and for all.
Richard Parker: What in the world is Ria planning to do?
Nick Stuart: I think she plans on wearing him out.
A small smirk appears on Ria’s face as frustration mounts for Tact, as the two engage in the cat and mouse routine, Ria just out of reach every step of the way. A sudden stumble though allows Larry to dart forward, closing the distance between the two! With surprising speed and ferocity, Larry grabs a hold of Ria and in a matter of seconds Ria is airborne, twisting over Larry’s shoulder to slam flat on her back as Tact executes a beautiful Tai Otoshi.
Richard Parker: Look at Larry Tact, going for the win as soon as he can, genius.
Nick Stuart: I can now see why Ria was circling the ring that whole time, very smart strategy!
With Elvis Nixon calling for the break, Larry climbs to his feet, dragging Ria up with him by a handful of hair. Ria, struggling to break free resorts to kneeing Tact in the groin, causing the man to grimace in pain. The knee may have connected but it didn’t have the desired effect, as she is once more taken off her feet as Larry Tact executes another picture perfect takedown, this time with a gutwrench suplex. Instead of going for another submission move, Larry nimbly floats over while maintaining his grip around Nightshade’s torso, lifting her up as he himself climbs to his feet and delivers a second gutwrench suplex, all in one fluid motion.
Nick Stuart and Richard Parker exchange a look of awe before Richard begins a soft golf clap.
Ria dazed on the mat, yet with enough wherewithal in her she begins to roll onto her hands and knees, trying to recover from the dual gutwrench suplexes. Larry slowly stalks forward, pouncing once he gets near, tying her up in a crucifix.
Nick Stuart: Fun fact, the crucifix choke is also known as the Hell Choke.
Richard Parker: Fun fact, no one cares. And hey, fun facts are my thing!
Once again Ria’s positioning saves the day as she immediately reaches out and rests her foot on the bottom rope, causing Elvis to once again step in. But this time Larry holds the choke instead of releasing right away, holding it until the last second, only to let her right as Elvis manages to count to five.
Roughly shoving her off him before scrambling to his feet, the frustration appears to be mounting for Larry Tact as he quickly grabs Ria and yanks her to her feet. He is completely caught off guard when Ria snaps her hand up and pokes two fingers directly into his eyes, effectively blinding him.
Nick Stuart: Look out!
Richard Parker: Oh, the irony…
Nick Stuart: Ria looks like she’s still feeling the effect of the dual suplexes, but I’m curious to see what she’s got in store for Tact.
Now in the driver seat, Ria grabs a hold of Larry’s arm, spinning herself towards the center of the ring, building a little momentum before she launches the larger man towards the far corner with an Irish Whip. With a sudden hop to her step she rushes towards Tact before beginning a cartwheel followed by a back handspring into an elbow but before she connects, Larry steps forward catching her from behind with her arms around her waist. The look of surprise on her face transforms to a grimace as he delivers a German suplex, launching her into the turnbuckles, folding her up like an accordion.
Richard Parker: I think she hit her head on every single turnbuckle!
Grabbing Nightshade by the ankle, Larry roughly drags her outta the corner and drops down for the cover all in one fluid motion. Elvis Nixon drops down with Tact, quickly slamming his hand to the mat.
Ria manages to lift her shoulder off the mat before the three count, causing Larry to scowl at Elvis, as if it were all his fault.
Nick Stuart: I can’t believe she managed to kick out! The way she hit those turnbuckles, I thought she was out for sure!
Richard Parker: We may need to look into Elvis Nixon’s count. Seemed a tad bit slow in my professional opinion.
Shaking his head while once more climbing to his feet, arguing with Elvis every inch of the way, showing him the proper cadence of a count to three, thus he is caught completely by surprise once more as he turns his attention back to his opponent, only to catch a straight field goal kick to the dick.
This one is definitely more effective as Tact spins in place while dropping to his knees, his eyes crossing, gasping for breath as Ria stands behind him, a scowl of her on her face. Without wasting a moment, Ria steps up and rakes her fingernails across Tact’s back, causing him to arch his back before falling forward to his hands and knees.
Richard Parker: She fights like my ex-wife. Dirty.
Nick Stuart: …
Richard Parker: I kind of like her!
As Larry straightens up to his knees, ready to climb to his feet and go after Ria, she manages to wrap him up in a full nelson, dragging him to his feet before executing a beautiful snap dragon suplex, dumping Tact on the back of his head.
Nick Stuart: Could this be the end? Is she looking for the Acid Rain?
Perched on the top turnbuckle, Ria sets her sights before leaping off. Right before she can land, Larry manages to lift his knees. The impact folds Ria up, sucking the wind right out of her, as she rolls off Larry and the two find themselves lying on the mat, each staring up to the rafters above.
Elvis Nixon stands nearby, checking on both competitors.
Nick Stuart: Let the race begin. Who will get to their feet first?
Richard Parker: I got my money on Tact.
Larry struggles to his feet first, as Ria finds herself on her knees, trying to pull herself up with the aid of the nearby ropes. Larry is signaling for the Starbreaker but as he approaches the kneeling Ria, she goes to the well once more, leaning forward and driving the crook of her elbow straight up in between Larry’s outspread legs. Larry drops to the mat once more gasping for breath as a sneering Ria Nightshade manages to pull herself up to her feet.
Ria now steps up grabbing Larry by the hair, looking to drag him to his feet for a possible Code Kiss. She is caught by complete surprise as Larry pulls a page out of her book, driving the crook of his elbow into the crotch of Ria Nightshade.
Nick and Richard share a look of shock at both the desperation and the gall of Larry Tact.
Richard Parker: Whatever it takes to win!
Upon impact Nightshade immediately drops to her hands and knees once more, spewing forth her green poison mist to the empty mat beneath her before she simply dry heaves, green spittle falling out of her mouth as Larry Tact struggles to his feet. Stumbling as he can’t seem to control the wobble of his legs.
Nick Stuart: I gotta say, I don’t know if Larry Tact is going to walk the same after tonight.
Richard Parker: You know what this match needs more of? Dick shots.
Growling, with a mixture of anger, frustration, and pain, Larry roughly shoves Ria’s head in between his legs. Grimacing from the mere touch, Larry quickly snaps Ria up in a powerbomb, looking to end it once and for all with the Starbreaker.
But as Ria goes up she carries through with enough momentum to go up and over Larry’s head, rolling the two of them up with a Sunset Flip out of nowhere!
Richard Parker: Nooooooo! He had it!
Elvis Nixon quickly drops down, slapping the mat with his hand as Larry struggles to kick free, and Ria struggles to maintain her grip holding Tact’s arms to the ground with her legs.
DING DING DING!!
Ria releases Larry from the pin and quickly rolls free as Larry slaps the mat in abject frustration.
Vince Howard: The winner of this match… Riiiiiaaaaaaa Nightshade!
Ria doesn’t allow Elvis to raise her hand, instead shooting him a death glare as she raises it herself. The camera lingers on the winner for a few seconds before cutting backstage.