ROCKTOGENERIAN FUND PLEDGE DRIVE
CAMERA: Open on a wide rolling lawn surrounded by a thick oak treeline. The sky is bright blue with a smattering of puffy white clouds. In the distance, senior citizens are playing croquet. Nearer by, a couple of women in their 70s are laughing while sharing a seat on a bench swing. Rocky de Leon enters from stage right, dressed in full FDP gear and mask.
Rocky de Leon: Hi, I’m Carlos de Leon. You might know me as Rocky or recognize me from my time with the PRIME wrestling federation. You might even have seen me do a Flying Squirrel into my opponent’s jaw. I grew up right here, in Laredo, Texas, watching Luchador wrestling on Saturdays with mi papi, Sergeant Mateo de Leon, may he rest in peace. Mi papi taught me about the history of the Lucha, why we wear the mask, and the history behind Lucha Libre wrestling techniques.
CAMERA: Rocky walks slowly but with purpose to the left, past the ladies on the bench. The gray stone front facade of Green as it Gets Acres pans into view from the left, and Rocky stops directly in front of the double glass doors.
Rocky de Leon: He taught me to respect those that came before me and paved the way that I might display my technique in the ring today. Without mi papi, I would not be the wrestler I am today. Without that history, that pride, and that font of knowledge, I would never have had the opportunity to flip from the same top rope as the likes of The Anglo Luchador and the other fine Lucha that competed with me in the Lucha Especial earlier this year. It’s with that regard for my elders and that desire to preserve the lessons of the past that I decided to spearhead the Rocktogenerians fund.
CAMERA: Rocky turns and opens the double doors. Camera follows him inside. A lady in a candy striper uniform waves and smiles from the front desk. Rocky waves back with a quiet “SKREE!” He turns right, the camera pans with, and stops in front of a door labeled “TV Room.”
Rocky de Leon: You may not know that the quality of life of our senior citizens has been declining. The costs of elder care continue to rise, despite incomes remaining stagnant. Unfortunately, this means that amenities provided to our loved ones at assisted living facilities can’t keep up with our loved ones’ needs and the times.
CAMERA: Rocky turns to open the door to the TV Room. He walks inside to see three old women sitting very close to the TV. The screen is paused on a scene from ReVival 23, depicting Rocky in the middle of a Pterosaur Splash.
Rocky de Leon: I believe our elders deserve better in their restful years than to have to crowd around an old 15” CRT television.
Old Lady #1: *mumbling* it’s gotta be at least seven…
Rocky de Leon: The Rocktogenerian fund aims to provide improved comforts to assisted living facilities around the country, beginning right here at Green as it Gets Acres, in my home town of Laredo, then the rest of Texas and, hopefully, the whole United States of America.
Old Lady #2: No way, look. Look at his hand from palm to middle finger tip.
Rocky de Leon: For as little as a thousand dollars, this room could be upgraded with plush seating and a brand new high definition television so that Abuela Juarez doesn’t have to sit so close.
CAMERA: Rocky puts his hand on Abuela Juarez’s (Old Lady #2’s) shoulder. She turns to look at him and smiles. He puts his arm around her and they look toward the camera which has panned to the left. Old Lady #1 continues to stare intently at the television, never breaking her gaze from the screen.
Abuela Juarez: 4K.
Rocky de Leon: What?
Abuela Juarez: 4K. We’d love a 4K TV. For… uh…
Old Lady #1: Reading.
Abuela Juarez: YEAH! Reading. We need higher def. For reading. Reading all the lines…
Rocky de Leon: *Chuckles* Alright, Abuela, alright. Sounds like we might need to be even a little more modern than HD and set these ladies up with 4K so they can see every line.
Old Lady #1: …of those abs.
CAMERA: Rocky lets Abuela Juarez return to the TV and stands up.
Rocky de Leon: These simple changes would drastically improve the lives of our elders, and they deserve it. They deserve to live in relative comfort. There’s no excuse for us failing to provide such inexpensive and basic amenities.
CAMERA: Rocky walks out of the TV room, stopping in front of a general socialization and break area with a somewhat beat up ping pong table which is not in use, multiple card tables that are populated, and a few couches where a knitting club is presently sitting. One woman appears to be knitting a blanket that resembles Rocky’s mask.
Rocky de Leon: So, please, join me in making the Rocktogenerian fund a success. Call now at 1-800-ROCKY4ME. Help me turn their restful home into their dream home. Any amount helps, but if you become a sustaining member at the $100 monthly level or higher, you will receive your own replica Pterodactyl luchador mask! And, for this opening pledge drive only, the highest donor will get an evening with me, Rocky de Leon, the FDP!
CAMERA: The lady knitting the mask-blanket approaches Rocky.
Old Knitter: I made this just for you, to say thank you, Rocky.
Rocky de Leon: That is so sweet! You are so welcome, and thank you very much.
Old Knitter: …wear it for me.
Rocky de Leon: What?