SCOTT HUNTER VS. ARTHUR PLEASANT
We are now back at ringside.
“Slum Planet” by 3TEETH and Mick Gordon hits the speakers and a chorus of boos immediately follows.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Two words, followed by two letters, written in signature style, appear on PRIMEview with a bleeding effect; this is created by a machete that slices through the bottom of the screen with a violent effect. Arthur Pleasant, meanwhile, has already begun making his way out from behind the curtains.
YOUR NIGHTMARE,
AP
Vince Howard: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… from Under The Midnight Sun… weighing in at 225 lbs… he is PRIME’s WORST NIGHTMARE… ARTHURRRRRRR… PLLLEEEAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!
Nick Stuart: This guy still gives me the creeps, partner.
Richard Parker: You don’t say! What is it about him, do you think?
Nick Stuart and Richard Parker simultaneously: The teeth!
Nick Stuart: Yeah, absolutely, it’s the teeth. Those suckers are sharp!
From nowhere, the opening guitar licks to “Burning Heart” kick in while scenes from Rocky IV flash on the screen. Scott Hunter steps out onto the stage, chest out, chin up, then stops in a heroic fists-on-hips pose.
Vince Howard: And his opponent! Making his way out to the ring, from Miami, Florida… weighing in at 245lbs… he is.. SCOTT… HUUUUUUUNTEEERRR!!!
Looking out into the crowd, the newcomer nods. You’d think after a few weeks, the brand recognition would be a little stronger, and I guess you could say it is – but the fan response is still decidedly tepid as they figure out what to do with this brash kid in blue and yellow. After a moment of soaking in the crowd’s lukewarm reaction, he mouths “thank you, thank you” and starts walking to the ring.
Nick Stuart: Here’s a young man really looking to find some direction here in PRIME.
Richard Parker: I’ve got some BIG NEWS to share about Scott Hunter, partner. It changed everything I thought I knew about him.
Nick Stuart: Care to share?
Richard Parker: In due time, Nicky! In due time.
Referee Elvis Nixon checks on both wrestlers in their respective corners and signals for the bell!
DING DING
Nick Stuart: Fair enough, here we go!
Arthur Pleasant wastes no time and CHARGES forward to deliver a Yakuza Kick off the bat, but Scott Hunter is able to duck and turn at the last moment! Pleasant spins around and delivers a pair of Muay Thai kicks to his opponent – Hunter realizes that the only way to stop this flurry of offense is to Do A Move and so he locks Pleasant up in a collar-and-elbow. Using his size advantage, he’s able to muscle Pleasant into the corner and throw a few jabs that connect.
Seeing success with his jabs, Hunter decides to really wind up and put some extra mustard on this one, windmilling his arm as if it will build more power, before launching a BIG right cross – that Pleasant ducks! The momentum from the hellacious swing sends Hunter into the corner, and without wasting a beat, Arthur throws some stiff elbows into Hunter’s ribs before reaching down to grab a hold of Hunter’s ankle. He lifts up and Hunter now hops on one foot for a moment until Pleasant sends Hunter crashing to the mat with a dragon screw leg whip!
Nick Stuart: I have to say, partner – The Provocateur looks like he means business tonight!
Richard Parker: Targeting the legs is smart, and now I’ll satisfy your curiosity from before, Nicky – we talked about it during his debut match, and I was skeptical before, but at this time I can NOW CONFIRM! I have it on good authority that Scott Hunter indeed invented the Figure Four Leglock. Arthur Pleasant is smart to try to take away this invention.
Nick Stuart: “On good authority”? Really?
Richard Parker: …a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, partner.
Pleasant measures his opponent before launching in to grab a side headlock. Hunter waves his arms in an exaggerated fashion, as if he were In Great Peril, before collecting himself and throwing a very pointed elbow into Pleasant’s gut! Another! A third breaks the hold and gives Hunter the opportunity to shove Wrestling’s Worst Nightmare into the ropes. Pleasant’s momentum sends him off the ropes and back to the center of the ring, where Hunter takes him down with a BIG clothesline!
Hunter goes for the cover!
One!
Kickout!
Hunter puts his hands on his hips, expressing displeasure that one very well executed clothesline was not in fact enough to win the day.
Both men are able to get to their feet after the failed pin and gain some space, slowing things down a bit. Hunter holds up a hand offering a test of strength – Pleasant looks at it, sneers, and run his tongue over the front of his extensive dental work. Hunter cautiously steps forward in anticipation of his challenge being accepted – Pleasant waves a hand vaguely in the direction of Hunter’s, the crowd slowly growing in volume as the men step closer and closer, until –
WHAP
Pleasant slaps Hunter in the face!
OHHHHHHHHHH!
Hunter doesn’t know what to do for a second, almost crestfallen knowing that he won’t get to test his strength tonight. Then, he remembers that slaps don’t just hurt, they’re insults, and that you’re supposed to be mad when you’re insulted, probably. His face turns full scowl and he bares his own teeth at AP!
Baring teeth is a sign of aggression in many species, and for Arthur Pleasant, this would appear to hold especially true…he launches himself on top of Scott Hunter and begins to bite into Hunter’s scalp! Hunter thrashes and beats Pleasant’s back to try to get him off, but Pleasant won’t stop! Referee Elvis Nixon has to go deep into the five count before Pleasant finally frees his foe! Hunter immediately taps a few fingers to the top of his head – red.
Nick Stuart: Good lord, Arthur Pleasant just bit a man’s head open!
Richard Parker: The inventor of the figure four is on his way to a Crimson Mask!
Nixon admonishes Pleasant and our audio can pick up “NO TEETH! NO TEETH!”.
If Hunter was mad before about getting slapped, he’s certifiably PEE OH’D (no swearing) about the location of some of his blood – Nixon is barely finished getting out of Pleasant’s face when Hunter leaps far across the ring and CRUSHES Pleasant with a flying elbow smash! Pleasant goes down, and Hunter throws some high-swinging elbows into Pleasant’s head! Satisfied that his opponent will perhaps be down on the ground longer than one second, his eyes dart to the nearest corner of the ring. With a spring in his step, he deftly hops to the top rope, turns, and measures his man. He slowly points two fingers high in the air! Some of the crowd rises to their feet! He leaps…
DIVING ELBOW DROP!
THOOMP
Nick Stuart: ARTHUR PLEASANT ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!
Scott Hunter gets to his feet surprisingly quickly for a man who just crashed and burned on a failed top rope maneuver – takes two steps – and faceplants in the middle of the ring.
Pleasant is able to rise to his feet and stalk over to his downed opponent. He throws a few sharp stomps into the back of both of Hunter’s legs, and then he throws Hunter’s right leg hard into the mat with another dragonscrew leg whip, and another.
Richard Parker: Hunter couldn’t get his legs underneath his body earlier, and now Pleasant’s targeting those same legs he worked on earlier…what a time to be alive, partner! We live in a world where Arthur Pleasant has a strategy!
Arthur regains control of Hunter’s right leg, positions himself, and drops into the mat, wrenching Hunter’s whole leg into a kneebar submission! Scott Hunter’s eyes go wide with pain, and the trickle of red from earlier has started to trickle a bit harder down his forehead.
Referee Elvis Nixon checks on Hunter, who shakes his head in DEFIANCE! He slams a fist to the mat and yells out, summoning as much strength as he can to try and drag his body towards the ropes and out of this predicament. Pleasant, realizing that with his body in its current position that he won’t be able to stop this momentum towards the ropes, does what any rational man would do and BITES SCOTT HUNTER’S CALF!! Hunter gets to the ropes and howls in pain! Nixon doesn’t let these shenanigans last long at all as he physically intervenes between the two competitors!
Hunter uses the ropes to get vertical as Nixon adamantly insists “NO TEEFERS, I SAID NO TEEFERS” as Arthur snarls a stream of curses in response.
Nick Stuart: That’s twice that Scott Hunter’s been bitten tonight!
Richard Parker: I wonder how much they train you for biting in wrestling school these days. I’m guessing ZERO!
Nick Stuart: Hard to deny the effectiveness of Arthur Pleasant’s battle plan tonight. Can Scott Hunter turn the tide?
Pleasant has a ravenous look on his face as he finally waves off Nixon and resumes stalking his opponent. Scott Hunter is shaky on his legs, but he’s close to vertical – Pleasant comes flying in – Hunter lifts his arm in desperation – CLOTHESLINE TO PLEASANT! Hunter sees his moment and the adrenaline is pumping! He eggs Pleasant on to get up – HUNTER DROPS HIM WITH A QUICK LARIAT! He’s a house of fire now! He beckons Pleasant to get up for a third time, winding up his right arm, waiting for his moment – HUGE OLD SCHOOL PUNCH RIGHT TO THE SCHNOZZ! Pleasant drops like a sack of potatoes! The cover by Hunter!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-NOOOO-OHHHHHH!
Nick Stuart: Pleasant has reversed the stack! He’s got Hunter’s shoulders down!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-NOOOOOOOO-OHHHHHHHHHH!
Richard Parker: Hunter’s reversed it! High stack!
ONE!
TWO!
OHHHHHHHHH!
Pleasant shoots his lower body forward and sprawls over Hunter’s chest!
ONE!
TW-AWWWW!
Hunter kicks out with force! Arthur scrambles forward and reaches around Hunter’s head and neck, looking for a choke!
Nick Stuart: He’s looking to end it now! Arthur Pleasant is looking for the move he calls Sleep Paralysis!
Hunter frantically scrambles, trying everything he can to escape the D’Arce Choke! A flailing elbow catches Pleasant in the nose and he’s able to gain some space before the hold is truly locked in. Seeing the opportunity slipping away, Hunter decides now is the time to break out the biggest weapon in his arsenal, hobbling over to Pleasant and gaining double leg control. He looks out to the crowd, making sure as many eyes as possible are upon him as he demonstrates his masterwork invention. He spins, crosses Pleasant’s far leg across his near kneecap, lifts his leg, and falls to the mat!
Richard Parker: THE FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! Surely the most inventive move in professional wrestling today!
Nick Stuart: You’re kidding me, right??
Richard Parker: I told you before, Nicky – I have my sources, and they certainly tell me things!
Pleasant yelps out in pain as Elvis Nixon checks for the submission. And then, it’s subtle, but it’s unmistakable…Scott Hunter is wincing in pain, too. All the damage Arthur Pleasant delivered to Hunter’s legs is coming back to haunt the young man from Miami.
Pleasant sees it. And he’s rejuvenated by it.
He throws a series of closed fists into Hunter’s legs – normally, perhaps an ineffective method of getting out of this hold, but it seems to be working now, particularly as Pleasant punches around the area he chomped earlier. Hunter’s clearly doing everything he can to hold onto his signature finisher…only to realize, perhaps too late, that it may have been a mistake to go for this move at this time.
Pleasant’s out of the hold! His closed fists to the legs turn into closed fists to the face! Hunter covers up, and Pleasant is on top of Hunter’s back! Soon, Arthur’s arm is wrapped tightly around Hunter’s neck from behind! He leans back, and rolls with the hold!
Nick Stuart: It’s the Sleep Paralysis! Arthur Pleasant has it locked in!
Hunter flails one more time to no avail, though he doesn’t give up right away. His face is red in two ways – the blood dripping from the head bite is a much brighter hue than the flush of his face from being choked the hell out. Soon, his arms start to go limp, and he faintly taps the mat.
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Here is your winner, by submission…THE PROVOCATEUR! ARTHURRRRRR PLEASANT!
Boos rain down throughout the arena as Slum Planet blares through the speakers. Pleasant is VERY fired up about his win and curses up and down the dictionary while Elvis Nixon raises his arm.
Nick Stuart: Close fight tonight between these two, but in the end, it was a mistake for Scott Hunter to go for the Figure Four after all the damage he took to his legs.
Richard Parker: If that toothy grin figures out a battle plan like that for every opponent from now on, we could see him take a big bite out of the rankings!
Nick Stuart: …har har, partner. Stay tuned, we’ll be back after we pay a few bills!
We cut to commercial.