SEASON 2 STARTS NOW
The ACE Network and PWA cameras take us directly to center-ring inside the Amalie Arena in Tampa, Florida where 21,000-plus PRIMEates are screaming their heads off for the Lady of the Hour, and their Hometown Hero, Lindsay Troy.
The Queen of the Ring lifts a microphone to her lips and addresses the crowd.
Lindsay Troy: Hello, Tampa! It’s great to be home!
RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
A knowing smirk spreads across the lips of the Eternal Ace, and a grinding guitar builds from the speakers.
Lindsay Troy: It’s my esteemed pleasure to introduce your NEW Universal Champion…the man who conquered Mount COOLYMPUS and emerged victorious at Colossus…
You ready for this?
Lindsay Troy: …the “Event Horizon…”
Might wanna hold onto something.
Lindsay Troy: …HAYES! HANLON!
“WHEN MY BACK’S TO THE WAAALLLL!!!!!”
I!!!
WILL!!!
CON!!!
QUER!!!
Told ya.
Just like at Colossus, “Daggers” by We Came as Romans batters the surging crowd of the Amelie Arena. The cosmic explosions shake the PRIME*View, while bursting and blinding white flash bulbs erupt throughout the arena. The quaking music rattles every nut and bolt holding the place together. It’s horrendously loud. It’s riot-inducingly aggressive.
And for the Champ, stepping onto the ramp with that big belt on his shoulder, it’s everything he’s ever wanted.
Nick Stuart: THE REVIVAL IN 2022 STARTED WITH HIM, AND IT ENDED WITH HIM! AND HE’S HERE TO MAKE SURE 2023 STARTS WITH HIS NAME, TOO!!
Richard Parker: THE EVENT HORIZON! THE EGG BEATER! THE UNIVERSAL CHAMP!
Nick Stuart: HAYES!! HANLON!!
A year ago, you might expect the rookie to nearly fall over his own shoelaces in a moment like this, or literally sprint around like an excited child. Or puke all over the ramp.
But no. That Hayes is gone. The one striding down the ramp tonight holds his head high, his chest is puffed out through his black button-up dress shirt, and he has a tight grip on the leather of his gleaming Universal Championship Belt. Mustache? It’s on point, and it’s lifting into a grin to match the Lady of the Hour’s as he reaches the ring, making the rounds from post to post as the chorus roars, reaching the Big Strap out in front of him in one hand and on display for all of Tampa to see.
Nick Stuart: “The Hanlon Year” will go down as one of the most impressive debuts in PRIME history. Victor of the Five Star Scramble to start 2022 and PRIME’s ReVival, and capping it off with an incredible victory over Cancer Jiles to earn the most coveted prize in all of wrestling.
Richard Parker: The kid earned brownie points with me, that’s for sure! Anyone who can crack Jiles’ proverbial egg, nevermind twice, has gotta be alright in my book.
The music calms, as does the light show. Hanlon sets the belt back over his shoulder, and only the bellows of the Amalie Arena remain. Hayes retrieves a mic, lifting it to his mouth to speak, but lowers it with a smile as he’s interrupted by the chants of 21,000 strong.
HOME RUN HAYES!!
HOME RUN HAYES!!
HOME RUN HAYES!!
Nick Stuart: Soak it in, young man.
Finally, the Tampa crowd mellows enough to let the Champ speak.
Hayes Hanlon: You all ready for Season 2?
RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Hayes Hanlon: ‘Cause Season 1 is gonna be hard to beat!!
A big pop from Tampa. Hayes pauses with a smile while Troy nods in the corner, her smirk growing larger.
Hayes Hanlon: And I find it funny, man. A loooooot of folks came knockin’ on PRIME’s door while trying to drag its name through the mud. The Love Convoy did plenty of that while honking everyone cross-eyed.
A volley of boos rises from the arena.
Hayes Hanlon: They got run over.
Pop.
Hayes Hanlon: FLAMBERGE had his moment in the sun while running his mouth, and had a chance to back it up at Colossus.
Another low rumble of disapproval. Hayes scans the crowd before continuing.
Hayes Hanlon: Came up short.
Pop.
Hayes Hanon: Tony Gamble had an opportunity to show us that he’s not yesterday’s news.
The Event Horizon nods his head as Amalie Arena fills the air with disdain. They’ve caught on.
Hayes Hanon: Still is.
Pop!
Hayes Hanon: Paxton Ray somehow avoided a jail cell and got a chance to take his swing against Jared Sykes.
You can almost taste the vitriol coming from the Tampa Faithful at the mention of the Bayou Butcher. Hayes calms them by lowering his hand up and down.
Hayes Hanon: He whiffed.
POP!
Hayes Hanon: And finally, everybody’s least-favorite part of a balanced breakfast tried to hold on desperately to the greatest prize in wrestling. At “his” show. At “his” Main Event….
They know what’s coming, and the noise is swelling. Hammerin’ Hanlon lets it grow but thrusts his gold in the air and roars into the mic.
Hayes Hanlon: AND HE GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY SOME KID WITH A MUSTACHE AND A DREAM, BABY!
RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Richard Parker: The kid’s coming in hot! Careful not to piss too many people off at once.
Nick Stuart: It’s no secret that Hayes has kept PRIME on a pedestal since his youth. Now, with the Universal Title in hand, it appears he plans to defend its name!
Hayes Hanlon: This place is the benchmark, man. And it always will be! How can it not be? With names like Nova. Youngblood. The Anglo Luchador. Matt Ward. Jared Sykes. NATE COLTON!!
Pop. Pop. Pop. A borderline frenzy for the heroes of PRIME, new and old.
Hayes Hanlon: So maybe, maybe, some of these voices will check themselves before spitting on PRIME’s name, because I’m having a hard time thinking of anyone who can stand up to…
The Event Horizon is forced to pause, thanks to some commotion coming from the back. He lowers his mic, lifting an eyebrow and turning to look at the ramp. Lindsay Troy folds her arms across her chest. Nothing surprises the Queen of the Ring anymore.
Nick Stuart: We apologize, folks…it seems like something is going on in the back…
Sounds of a struggle backstage suddenly comes across the sound system and someone backstage yells “WAIT” in response to the altercation.
The response is undeniable….
…it is in Russian: “Попробуй остановить меня, собака.” (Try and stop me, dog.)
Nick Stuart: Uh oh…
Alexei Ruslan emerges from backstage, wearing his brown overcoat and hat, and strides out first. Behind him lumbers the enormous Russian Bear, Ivan Stanislav, dressed for action in the ring. He literally drags a technician by the hand, who still grasps a microphone. Stanislav must have simply grabbed the microphone, and the hand, in his enormous paw and started walking.
The eclectic energy that Hayes Hanlon brings to the ring is juxtaposed by the slow, but meaningful trudging of a visibly irate Ivan Stanislav. The technician kicks his legs as Stanislav pauses for a moment to look around. The crowd boos loudly as Ivan lifts the tech with one hand and extricates him from the microphone. Then, Stanislav literally discards the human being behind him and looms from so far away. Ruslan takes point at Ivan’s side and rubs his hands together with glee.
Nick Stuart: Why are you standing and saluting, Richard, sit down! You were just singing Hayes’ praises!
Richard Parker: It is the least I can do for comrade Stanislav!
Ivan points at Hayes Hanlon and Lindsay Troy.
Ivan Stanislav: It pains me to interrupt this lovely reunion between the two of you…
The crowd decidedly turns on the two Russians, but neither seems fazed by it.
Ivan Stanislav: …and the rest of this raucous and unruly crowd. The song you sing, little bird, is one we have heard plenty of times before. It is nothing special from you. It is the same tune, just from different foolish lips, year in and year out. It does pain my heart to illuminate something for you, Hayes Hanlon, but Season Два (two) is going to have somewhat tragic, yet predictable, ending.
Ivan roars his next words and the sound system labors not to explode.
Ivan Stanislav: Lindsay Troy’s failed acquisitions left a gulf at UltraViolence that only Ivan Stanislav could fill! And with it, was I given an opportunity to return to PRIME after such a long, long time.
Ivan stops for a moment and points from Hayes to Troy.
Ivan Stanislav: Before you give her sloppy kisses, Hanlon, perhaps you should give her a slap. Because her decision to bring me back was the beginning of the end for you!
Ivan grows more irate, and begins his slow trudge towards the ring anew.
Ivan Stanislav: You are a fan of wrestling, yes? You were weaned on it all your life, hm? Then I ask you this: On what planet did you believe you would receive tainted victory against Ivan Stanislav and not pay the price?! You have nothing to celebrate in that wrestling ring, and everything to dread, Hayes Hanlon!
Ivan is almost to the apron now as his heavy military boots thud on the grating below, causing it to gently flex.
Ivan Stanislav: Tell me, Hayes, where were you at PWA-1, while I was defeating HOW World Champion Christopher America and representing PRIME in Main Event? Were you busy buying expensive shirt and shoes with this newfound fame? Perhaps you were too busy boasting about Season 1 of the Hayes Hanlon tragedy, hm? Tell me, and everyone else, where were you while PRIME was battling against other PWA federations. Were you trying your best to grow into that shirt?
Ivan scoffs as the crowd comes to Hayes’ defense and boos louder. Hayes, meanwhile, looks down at his chest with confusion. Those pecs are poppin’, right?
Ivan Stanislav: You should have been preparing yourself for the inevitable ire from myself. But young people are so short sighted.
The eGG Beater manages to hold his ground, despite the approaching Russian Bear. He adjusts the belt on his shoulder, and addresses the microphone.
Hayes Hanlon: Sorry, buddy, you caught me off guard. I was kinda hoping you’d take your shirt off and ride to the ring on a horse. Or a live bear.
Stanislav approaches the apron and takes a single step up onto it, while Alexei climbs up the ring steps. The two of them stand on the apron and listen, while Hayes motions towards him.
Hayes Hanlon: But it’s good to see you, Ivan! I honestly wasn’t sure if you were gonna stick around. I figured your buddy Vlad would have called you back home on account of getting his ass kicked…
The crowd “oooo’s” as it rumbles through the Amalie Arena. Stanislav frowns and steps over the top rope and into the ring. Alexei climbs in next to him and barks something up at Ivan in Russian. No translation needed. There’s a good chance it involves physical violence. Ruslan tries to skirt around Hanlon so that the Russians are on either side of him, but he stops as he sees Lindsay Troy off to the side, and backs up. He looks fit to pounce as fiery rage fills his eyes. Ivan just listens, but his eyelid twitches.
Hayes Hanlon: …but I guess he thought you were better off staying here to handle my light work.
Ivan slowly looks over at Ruslan, who also looks up at his enormous comrade. The seething between the two of them nearly catches the ring on fire.
Hayes Hanlon: But to answer your question, Zangief; while you were taking on the B-League’s best…
The Champ turns his eyes downward to the belt on his shoulder, and gives it a gentle pat.
Hayes Hanlon: …I was taking this beauty for a spin.
The crowd pops at that. Ivan, naturally, is unimpressed. He growls.
Ivan Stanislav: You close one’s eyes and listen to your words, and it is difficult to tell if Hayes Hanlon is talking, or Cancer Jiles.
Ivan takes one more step closer to Hayes as the ring flexes beneath his heavy footfalls.
Hayes Hanlon: (shrugging) Maybe. But when you open them, I think you’ll see which one carried your big ass up the second rope and dropped you on your head.
Ivan balls his enormous left hand into a ham sized fist, but he flexes it. The crowd is eating this up, so firmly behind their hero while the two Russians weather all sorts of jeers and gibes leveled in their direction.
Ivan Stanislav: Tonight, Hayes Hanlon? I will annihilate Cancer Jiles. I will sweep him off the map. Who knows, perhaps I sweep him off the roster…
Stanislav looms over Hanlon, but a foot or two from him. Ruslan tilts his head to the side and watches carefully from behind.
Ivan Stanislav: …and then nothing mommy Troy can do will stop me from teaching you some much-needed humility, little hero. You just hold up your end of the bargain, eh? You beat Rezin, will you? I would hate to break your body and get nothing out of it.
Somewhat surprisingly, the young Champion takes a step forward, closing the gap further, tilting his head up at the towering Russian Bear.
Hayes Hanlon: That sounds a lot like the Motherland, doesn’t it? A lot of breaking. For nothing.
Ruslan curses again in Russian. Ivan glances at him, and then down at Hanlon. He stares him in the eyes as he looks up at him.
Ivan Stanislav: Dyaa….haaa……haaa….. Oh.. yes? That is best you can do?
Ivan makes a show of leaning down, his hand on his knee, so he can look Hanlon in the eyes.
Ivan Stanislav: Don’t walk near any soda machines backstage. You might have an accident, Home Run… DYAAHAAHAA!!
Ivan bursts into laughter as he stands up and laughs down at Hanlon.
Ivan Stanislav: DYAAHAAHAA!! Come Alexei, we see nothing else of import here. Not today at least. Look at your hero, people of Tampa! Enjoy him while he can still walk under his own power!
Ivan turns away, though Ruslan glares at Troy and then Hanlon for a moment. They exit the ring and trudge up towards the backstage area, laughing all the while. When they get halfway up the entryway, Ivan and Alexei turn in unison and smile. In the absence of music playing over the sound system, they both begin to sing “The Soviet National Anthem.” Stanislav’s voice is a deep booming bass, while Ruslan is certainly a tenor. They put their arms around one another and turn, and continue to sing as the crowd grows more unruly.
The Queen, however, has had enough.
Lindsay Troy: That’s enough of that. We have a show to get to.
Ivan and Alexei continue to sing, ignoring the Renaissance Woman’s statement.
That is, until she snaps her fingers, and “Daggers” returns to the arena speakers. The thundering intro easily drowns the two Russians, and Hayes smiles brightly.
Lindsay Troy: (speaking over the music into the mic) Good luck next week, Champ.
Ivan and Alexei glower on the ramp as Troy exits the ring. Hayes winks at Ivan before turning back to the crowd, thrusting his belt high to one more raucous pop.
Nick Stuart: And we’re wasting NO time in 2023!
Richard Parker: Better to jump in feet-first, Nick!
Nick Stuart: Welcome back, PRIMEates! And welcome to ReVival 21! Later on we’ll see Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy take on Jacob Mephisto, Eddie Cross against Tyler Adrian Best, Adam Ellis and Jonathan-Christopher Hall! Tony Gamble vs. Brandon Youngblood! Cancer Jiles vs. Ivan Stanislav!
Richard Parker: The Anglo Luchador and Paxton Ray in the Main Event for the Intense Title!
Nick Stuart: But first, part one of the Alias Title Tournament, with the “God Beast” Mushigihara squaring up with newcomer Violet Samuelsson in round one! Right here! In Tampa, Florida!
Richard Parker: On the ACE Network!