BRO, NO MORE QUESTIONS, MARK!
And so segment one begins.
The WON ACTION NEWS TEAM stage is dark save or the news desk where Max Kael? sits. He is a little different this evening, a lean cut three piece black suit with a #D60000 red silk tie. His usual wild, curly black hair was trimmed up and combed back, slick with oil. He keeps his eyes on the camera with a steady, unbroken gaze. An unpleasant grin sits on his face, not a happy grin or a cocky grin.
No, something more aggressive.
Max Kael?: Good plebeian PRIMEians, welcome to this special Colossus edition of the WON ACTION NEWS TEAM. I am Max Kael?..
He pauses when he says that. The grin twitches, his lips pulling tight as he fights to stifle a cough.. Or maybe a giggle. His nostrils flare for a moment, his neck tensing as he fights against the involuntary action. Max clears his throat and breaks back into his angry smile.
Max Kael?: I want to talk to my opponent for later tonight. Eddie Cross. I want you to know something Eddie. Now.. let me see here..
The Questionable Kael shuffles through the papers on his desk until he finds what he is searching for. Max pulls a pair of half moon reading glasses from his pocket, slipping them over his nose as he looks down at the paper.
U.N.Couth: ..I think that shit stole my reading glasses..
Couth’s voice comes from somewhere off camera as Max once again appears to stifle a laugh. He reads the paper for a moment before a loud “Ha” finally escapes his lips. Slamming the paper down, Kael’s head tilts back up with a mirthless smile.
Max Kael?: Eddie Cross I’m going to maim you out there, blah, blah, blah, I’m going to show you the meaning of pain, blah, blah, blah..That’s what they want me to say here. Something cheesy and funny. Like a little dancing monkey, right? Hmm?
His eyes move away from the camera and appear to be focused on someone standing out of the shot. Max holds the offending paper up with a look of disgust on his face. Crumpling the paper up, it quickly finds itself sent flying off into the distance.
Max Kael?: I’m going to be very honest with you right now, Eddie. When we first met, when I didn’t know who you were beyond the weird video game guy who likes ultra processed sugar products, the plan was to use you. I was supposed to get close to you, become your friend, figure out if you could be manipulated. Find things out about you that could be perceived as vulnerabilities and target them.
Again, Max turns his accusatory glare at people off camera. His nostrils flare as he struggles to keep that grin on his face. Remembering to stay on task, Max’s eyes dart back to the camera.
Max Kael?: And I told them things about you, Eddie. I broke your trust, I wasn’t a good friend. I should have been more supportive. I should have worked harder to get you past Coral Avalon in the Almasy. I shouldn’t have stalked Ava. I did questionable things while being unquestionably obedient. And now I’ve potentially gotten you into this mess with me.
At this point U.N.Couth can be seen hobbling past the camera, her horrible knobby finger pointed toward Max. In response Max stands up, his hand smashing down loudly on the news desk. A sneer ripples across his lips like they belong to a Rankin-Bass character. It’s enough to cause Couth to stop in her tracks.
Max Kael?: Despite it all you’re still putting your freedom up to give me mine. I still remember that piece of taffy you gave me, Eddie. Nobody has ever given me anything, not without some kind of expectation. You put your freedom up, Eddie, for something that doesn’t benefit you. My freedom, it doesn’t impact your life. I couldn’t understand why, Eddie.
Couth slowly slinks back off camera as Max settles back down in his chair. His eyes don’t immediately return to the camera as he seems deep in thought. Finally, with a deep breath, Max looks back up toward the camera.
Max Kael?: And then I realized.. It’s because you’re a good person. You’re just.. A good person. As unfathomable as that is to me, it’s the only remaining possibility with the evidence I have. I’ll remember that, Eddie. On my word, Eddie Cross, I will never seek retribution against you. I will never harm or hinder you or your loved ones. This is regardless of the outcome of our match. You have earned this, you deserve this. …but..
The edges of Max’s lips curl up into a wide, toothy grin. His brow tightens then furrows into a deep U. His face risks the range of cartoonishly distorted as another giggle forces his way up his throat. This time he does not fight it.
The lights in the newsroom immediately shut off, a gunshot-like sound ringing across the stage. In the dark murk a single red light flickers to life. It blazes angrily toward the camera before the lights crackle back to life. The glowing red light lines up exactly with Max Kael’s left eye.
In the darkness a few changes have happened. Max Kael’s hair is no longer carefully combed but rather a tangled mess of curly black hair. The tie in his three piece suit has been loosened, the upper collar unbuttoned.
Maximillian Wilhelm Kael: I do love a good hero, Eddie, my boy. You might be my favorite one now.
His voice is different, a little harsher, a little deeper. Like our young boy, Max Kael?, hit villain puberty. Or picked up a bad habit of smoking and whiskey.
Maximillian Wilhelm Kael: But a hero is only as good as the villain faces. It took a couple of..shots.. To get it right but now, here we are. The villain you deserve, Eddie. I’m going to make you so proud, my boy… heh-heh.. We’re going to tell a great story! You don’t need Dave Gibson anymore, Bilbro, because you’ve got me now.
He stands, kicking the chair away as it clatters against the wall behind it. Max climbs dramatically onto the news desk, throwing his hands to either side as a chortle snorts it’s way out of his nose.
Maximillian Wilhelm Kael: For you see, my dear Eddie Cross, there is no QUESTION about it. No, no. No more Max Kael?. You helped me find my way back, you helped set me on a path where I finally got back. You helped me finally escape the cold embrace of death, Edward. At long last, my boy..
He stomps his feet excitedly before throwing his hands high into the air. His eyes are wide, manic, his pupils narrowed into tiny points. If this were a movie there would probably be really badass music playing but unfortunately this is not that. It probably actually feels very awkward but Max doesn’t seem to mind. In fact he looks like he’s having a great time.
Maximillian Wilhelm Kael: I’m UNQUESTIONABLY.. Maximillian Wilhelm Kael. Stay PRIMAL-al!
We fall into darkness with the maniacal giggling of Max Kael to sing us off.
We cut elsewhere.