StarrPRIME EPISODE 1!
We return from commercial to the ring, which has been completely transformed The lights in the arena have darkened and there is a soft, pink light that is illuminating the ring. The mat is covered with a fuzzy, pink carpet with a makeshift computer desk sitting atop it. There are multiple LED lights adorning the chair and the desk. Surrounding the desk on all sides is a sea of various sized plush toys. The stack of plush animals stands so tall on either side of the desk, that it is almost difficult to notice Mr. Bubbles standing inside the veritable sea of fluff. Kennade Starr is spinning in the chair, her signature “cat ear” lighted headphones atop her head.
The bubbly opening synth line of “Caramelldansen” by the Caramella Girls begins to pipe through the PA system. In the soft, pink light we can see Kennade dancing in her chair. After what seems to be an eternity of synth pop, the lights begin to come back up and the music comes to a softer tone before completely shutting off. Kennade digs her feet into the mat and pushes her chair out from the desk and towards the center of the ring, spinning in circles as she does so.
Kennade Starr: Haiiiiiiiii!
A few fans respond back with a “Hai” while there is an overwhelming groan from the majority of the crowd.
Kennade Starr: Hello my StarrShines! I would like to welcome you all to my first ever episode of STARRPRIME!
Kennade gives an overdramatic motion of both hands, outstretched wide at the mention of StarrPRIME, as if she is expecting thunderous applause. Mr. Bubbles has not moved from his sea of plush dolls.
Kennade Starr: Now, I know a lot of you are wondering what StarrPRIME is going to be like. I wanted to try and surprise everyone, so there hasn’t been a whole lot of hype on any of my social media. Well don’t you worry your beautiful heads about it, my little StarrShines. KStarr is here to tell you all about her brand new show RIGHT HERE on PRIME TIME LIVE TV!
Again she motions for applause. Nothing. There is a small contingent of young men wearing fedoras that have populated the ringside area that have begun to cheer for Kennade. Aside from that…nothing.
Kennade Starr: After ReVival 32 I started to think to myself. How can I bring a little piece of KStarr Luvv to the good fans of PRIME? I know that a ton of my loyal subscribers have been tuning in to see me as much as they can, but I wanted to bring some Shine to more people. So I thought, what do I do best? Well I stream, sillies!
Mr. Bubbles suddenly breaks from his statuesque stance and removes what appears to be a neon ring light. He slowly drags the ring light in front of Kennade and reaches into the pocket of his jacket, removing a phone. He attaches the phone to the ring light, powers the contraption, and turns on the device before immediately going back to his stance near the plushies.
Kennade Starr: So I’ve decided to start a new show, right her on PRIME! I’ll be interviewing some of your favorite performers, referees, backstage talents. Really anyone who believes that they could use a little StarrShine in their lives! And the best part? I’ll be livestreaming to my TikTok, Twitch, and Facebook Live! That way all of my StarrShines can see me! So why don’t we go ahead and kick things off right now with the first EVER guest on StarrPrime! Come on out here, gorgeous!
The groan of horns can be heard blaring over the arena speakers and the crowd begins to cheer. As the vocals begin to “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard,” Rocky De Leon emerges from the curtain like a rocket. He raises a hand to the sky as he begins to make his way towards the ring. He slaps hands with a few fans on the way down, stopping to take extra time for a few of the younger fans in attendance, making sure to give them a handshake or a hair tussle. Kennade hasn’t gotten up from her chair, but does not seem to be enjoying the one man ska parade coming down the aisle.
Rocky makes a flat footed leap from the floor to the apron before vaulting over the top rope. As soon as his feet land in the ring he immediately pops up onto the nearest second turnbuckle, hand over his forehead, looking out over the crowd. A few of the plush animals in the corner topple from their original placement. Mr. Bubbles makes no purposeful movement, but he is large enough that the crowd can see him bob for a small second from the reverberation of Rocky’s leaping.
As the music dies down Rocky makes his way towards the computer desk that Kennade is sitting at. He looks around for a small moment, but doesn’t notice a second chair.
Kennade Starr: Oh I’m so sorry darlin! It’s my first ever StarrPrime. You had to expect a few hiccups here and there. Let me get you a chair!
Kennade makes a few motions with her hands. As she begins to move, so too does Mr. Bubbles. Her hand movements seem to mirror Mr. Bubbles with a small degree of accuracy as he moves to his right and pushes over the large stack of plushies, revealing a velvet purple, plush beanbag. He lifts the bag and brings it to the font of the desk, dropping the bag at Rocky’s feet. Rocky looks at it for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and plopping down into the bag. This doesn’t appear to be his first time sitting in a beanbag, but he certainly doesn’t give the impression that he is terribly comfortable.
Kennadee Starr: So, Roccco!? Im gonna call you Rocco because I think it’s just the absolute CUTEST name. I’m so double glad that you are my first ever guest on StarrPRIME! Are you comfortable? You look comfortable! I’m just so excited!
Rocky gestures as if he is going to respond, but doesn’t seem to have a microphone. Kennade gives a puzzled look towards Rocky before the light finally switches on in her head and she shoots back in her chair.
Kennade Starr: Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry! There’s a microphone in the right side of your chair! Kinda hard to interview when there isn’t any way for you to speak!
Rocky reaches down and grabs the microphone. He tilts his head to the side with a puzzled look at just what he agreed to do this evening. He brings the microphone to his face…
Rocky De Leon: …
Kennade Starr: (Immediately interrupting) So Rocco! Tell me. Just exactly what’s it like being the first ever guest on the newest, probably most watched part of PRIME programming? Don’t tell me! It’s a great honor! You’re totes excited to be a part of this here with me, and you can’t wait to see what kind of super awesome fun-times that I bring to PRIME!?
Rocky’s shoulders arch back for a moment in a display of annoyance before attempting to answer again.
Rocky De Leon: …
Kennade Starr: (Interrupting again.) Well now that we have all of that cleared up, how about this? Can you tell me just what your favorite Beat Saber video that I’ve done has been? I think that my favorite has to be the new Barbie World song! That one was such a blast! Hey, did you know that song samples and old song from way back when? I knew Barbie had been around a long time, but I definitely didn’t know that they were still doing Barbie stuff all the way back in the 90s! I mean, Barbie sure is an Icon. I could only hope to be half as influential as her. Tell me, Mr. Rocco, you think that maybe one day people will think of me the same way they do Barbie?
Rocky is now leaning forward in his beanbag. He seems almost hesitant to even attempt to speak, but attempt he does.
Rocky De Leon: …
Kennade Starr: (Once again, she immediately begins to speak overtop of Rocky.) Well ok, I can respect that. You really are a sharp guy, Rocco. You know, I sure am lucky to have you as my very first StarrShine here at PRIME. You really do seem like a pretty cool guy. And you know what? I think your mask is totes adorbs. Maybe if you put like, I dunno, a few ribbons, or a streak of hot pink somewhere? Just a thought. Maybe some people might think it’s just a little too scary. And I know that my StarrShines aren’t scary. They’re SHINY! So maybe like…some sparkles or something. OOOOO! Maybe some glitter paint on it! What do you think, Rocco??
Rocky begins to uncomfortably fidget with his mask for a moment before attempting to shoot upright in his beanbag. He does, however, have a bit of difficulty as it is quite a lumpy chair.
Rocky De Leon: …
Kennade Starr: (leaning forward in her chair, again talking overtop of Rocky.) You know, You don’t really talk much, Rocco. I thought that you would be a lot more entertaining guest. But no, you’ve just kinda sat here like a lump. You’re not really doing a lot to make my first big show great ya know. I mean. I went through all of the troub…..
Rocky can take no more. He has finally managed to free himself from his beany, prison bag and has shot to his feet. Before Kennade can say anymore he jumps to his feet, spreads his arms and hands to the sky, looks up, and
Rocky De Leon: SKKKKKKKKREEEEEEEEEEE!
The fans erupt in cheers as Kennade rolls backwards in her chair, nearly knocking into Mr. Bubbles. Bubbles places a hand on the back of the chair and begins to roll it, and Kennade, behind him.
Rocky De Leon: SKKKKKREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rocky’s shouts increase in direct response to the increase in cheers from the fans. Hereaches down and grabs the demonic purple bean bag and thrusts it into the arms of Mr. Bubbles. Kennade, seeing her set unceremoniously dismantled, begins to stomp her feet on the mat, shouting something incomprehensible over top of the crowd noise. Rocky turns his attention to the neon ring light that is still standing directly in front of the desk. Rocky grabs the light, phone still attached and recording, and raises it high over his head. The crowd erupts. Kennade begins to plead with Rocky to put down the phone. Instead, Rocky brings the phone down level with his face.
Rocky De Leon: (Speaking directly into the phone camera) Please like and SubSkreeb!
Rocky sets the phone down on the mat and leaps over the top rope, making his way up the ramp and out of this nightmare. Mr.Bubbles finally releases the chair as Kennade hurriedly hops up from her seat and rushes towards her phone, almost falling on top of it like an injured baby. The scene cuts to the backstage area as Kennade is on her knees, cradling her cellphone in her hands, shouting towards the entrance ramp.