TAG TEAM TITLES: JARED SYKES and JUSTINE CALVIN (c) vs. DANGEROUS MIX
Nick Stuart: Well, fans, our main event is right around the corner, as the Dangerous Mix of David Fox and Mushigihara get their shot at ending the iron-fisted reign of the former Kings of Popsicles, Jared Sykes and Justince Calvin.
Richard Parker: I dunno what’s gonna be more annoying, Nicky; the cryer and his girl defending the belts, or Kickpads and Mr. OSU winning them!
Nick Stuart: Well, we shall see.
Just as Nick finishes that line, the arena lights dim and red spotlights turn on, as the crunchy guitars of Hideyuki Takahashi’s “Run Rabbit Junk” fill the Smoothie King Center to a warm “hometown” ovation.
Nick Stuart: To those unaware, the Dangerous Mix has been stationed here in New Orleans for some time, as a part of DEFIANCE Wrestling before also entering PRIME. To call this a sort of homecoming, especially with the tag team championships on the line, would not be too much of a stretch.
The crowd pops again as David Fox leads the way, face lit up in excitement as he paces down the aisle, flanked by his Kaiju of a tag team partner.
Vince Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s tag team main event is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the PRIME Tag Team Championships! Making their way to the ring, the challengers, at a total combined weight of four hundred eighty-four pounds… David Fox! The Kaiju, Mushigihara! They are the DANGEROUS! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!
Fox is focusing on the ring, fists clenched and teeth gritted, as the New Orleans Faithful clamor for him and Mushi, who is tagging a hand in the crowd here and there. He is walking towards a match he has wanted for literal decades, and he will not let himself lose focus.
Nick Stuart: David Fox has said for a while now that this matchup with Sykes is something he’s wanted since his career began. Well, tonight, he gets that opportunity along with a shot at PRIME gold.
Richard Parker: If Sykes was on his bucket list, I’d hate to see the other names!
The duo make it to the ring, where Fox climbs onto the middle turnbuckle nearest him and appeals to the crowd, while Mushi stands on the apron, waving the crowd up to its feet, before letting out a thunderous…
The monster steps between the ropes, and Fox drops to his feet, as the music stops and the lights come back on. There are six figures standing along the entrance ramp, three to a side. They’re not the Bonafides. You can tell because underneath their hodgepodge armor they all appear to be in shape. The armor each wears is different, a collection of chainmail, plate, and fur-covered leathers, and each has a helm of some sort that obscures their faces. The lights dim again.
Richard Parker: Okay, so it’s apparently cosplay time.
Each has a drum, which they’re sounding together in rhythm. There’s also chanting, but it’s not coming from them. It’s coming from the arena speakers. What’s said is hard to discern, both because the language is unfamiliar and because it seems to be delivered in subharmonic singing.
Vince Howard: Making their way to the ring from Boston, Massachusetts and weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of three-hundred and twenty-two pounds…
The PRIMEview comes to life, showing three simple letters: KOP. Slowly cracks begin to form in each one, growing strong as the drum beat rises and chants get more intense.
A sword drives through the O, scattering all three letters into pieces. Flames rises up on either side of the blade, and when they finally die down a new word remains on the screen with the blade still behind it.
A wall of flame erupts across the stage.
Vince Howard: Jared Sykes… Justine Calvin… They are the PRIME world tag team champions…
The first power metal guitar notes of Jonathan Young’s cover of “I See Fire” hits the speakers and two new figures step out from behind the curtain. They are the PRIME world tag team champions, and they’ve decided to go a little extra for this one.
If this is to end in fire
Then we should all burn together
Watch the flames climb high into the night
Calling out father oh
Stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side (high)
Vince Howard: This! Is! EMINENCE!!
Justine Calvin is the first one out, dressed like a warrior priestess who just laid siege to a mountain stronghold. The armor she wears over her ring gear is more ornate than the men and women who heralded her arrival, and beneath her hood a line of black paint is visible across her eyes and the bridge of her nose.
Richard Parker: Nick, I think this has awakened something within me!
She’s carrying a stave, the top of which is adorned with a collection of trinkets won in battle. There are a few dangling guitar picks, a small toy bomb, part of a broken coffee cup, and a pink doll made of straw with two nails where its eyes should be.
And if we should die tonight
Then we should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time
Calling out father oh
Prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side
Desolation comes upon the sky
Her partner, Jared Sykes, is taking that whole “Dragonslayer” thing a little too literally. His own attire could best be described as “Goth Daddy Grim Reaper”. A hood of torn black fabric covers his face and hangs loose over his shoulders, but beyond that he’s bare from the waist up save for what elements of his ring gear are visible. A long torn skirt of cloth and chain drags on the ground behind him.
He has no weapon, because that’s just safest for everyone, but he’s pulling a sled of bound logs behind him.
The message is this: they’ve displayed a trinket from every team they’ve defended their titles against so far, and tonight they come to kill a kaiju.
Now I see fire
Inside the mountain
And I see fire
Burning the trees
And I see fire
And I see fire
Blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me
With all of the props cast aside, the two slide into the ring with titles raised high. There’s a brief exchange between partners, and while the microphones don’t pick it up it’s clear from his smirk and her rolling eyes that whatever Jared said has probably made him the first person Justine wants to punch into a coma.
Nick Stuart: And here we go… Jimmy Turnbull is the official this evening, and we’re about ready to start a huge tag team contest.
Richard Parker: Why don’t we get cool entrances?
Nick Stuart: Because Lindsay Troy would probably shoot you to the ring out of a cannon, Richard.
Parker’s knowing nod is enough as the scene cuts to the ring and Jimmy Turnbull calling for the bell.
Nick Stuart: Looks like David Fox is starting it off for the Dangerous Mix, and Jared Sykes for Eminence.
Richard Parker: I think these two have known each other since the primordial ooze days of wrestling.
Nick Stuart: When was that?
Richard Parker: When we first started Nick. We’re fucking old.
Sykes and Fox start with a bit of pacing, the awkward circling that typically starts a match. Fox pulls his shorts up, trying to prepare himself for Sykes’ potential onslaught. Finally, the two men collide in the center of the ring, Sykes comes in looking for a tie up but Fox slips behind him and plants a kick to the side of Sykes’ leg. Sykes snaps back around and takes a swing with a lariat but Fox ducks underneath. Fox spins on a dime and jumps, grabbing Sykes’ head and trying to connect with a bulldog. Sykes runs with Fox though, and keeps himself upright underneath him as Fox maintains the headlock.
Nick Stuart: Great start here by these two.
Richard Parker: It’s almost like they’ve watched each other for a few decades or something.
Fox cranks on the headlock, but Sykes backs David into the ropes and manages to shove him off. Fox comes back off the ropes looking for a leaping roundhouse kick, it’s Sykes’ turn to duck underneath, rolling through and tagging in Calvin. Justine doesn’t come through the ropes, she comes over them and brings with her a diving clothesline that catches Fox perfectly across the neck. Calvin lands on her feet, while Fox does a back roll and ends up kneeling. He rubs his neck as Calvin comes in for a second salvo.
Richard Parker: Smart tag, Justine’s a bit more equipped to deal with Fox’s offense.
Calvin unloads with a low kick as Fox gets to his feet, he checks it off his kick pad, and fires back a low kick that Calvin manages to check off of her kick pad. Fox spins for a backfist, but Calvin ducks underneath and lets loose a vicious uppercut to Fox’s rib cage. David grimaces and fights through the pain looking for a knee to Calvin’s face, but Justine is just too quick, she moves around Fox and unloads a huge right hand to the jaw that sends David stumbling.
Nick Stuart: Your assessment is looking pretty spot on here.
Richard Parker: Put that call on my highlight reel.
Calvin comes in again, relentless and backs Fox into the corner. Calvin throws a right hook to the body, then a kick to the upper thigh as Fox tries to come forward. Fox’s face contorts into a look of pain and frustration as Calvin unloads a left hook to the body. Finally, David manages to step into Calvin, grabbing her in a muay thai plum. Fox uses his strength to turn Calvin into the corner, he throws a knee trying to yank Calvin’s head downward, but Calvin manages to get her hands in the way and block the knee. She still stumbles backwards into the corner from the force of the blow. Fox comes back in close, and Calvin manages to get her foot up and connect across Fox’s jaw.
Nick Stuart: Big kick from Calvin!
Richard Parker: Great dirty boxing from Fox though.
Fox backs off and Calvin comes forward looking for a spinning heel kick. Fox steps out of the way to his corner and manages to tag Mushighara. Calvin picks herself up off the mat, and comes face to face with The God Beast. Calvin throws a right hand, and a left hand, and Mushi screams in Calvin’s face and unloads a palm strike catching Calvin on the left collarbone. She flies backwards but Mushi keeps rushing in. He fires off a second palm strike, this time with his right hand that sends Calvin all the way back to her corner. Sykes slaps her back and comes leaping over Calvin, springboarding off the top rope and coming down on Mushi with a double ax handle.
Nick Stuart: Good tag from Calvin, and Mushi’s staggered!
Richard Parker: Big offense in short bursts, that’s Mushi’s game.
Mushi stumbles from the double fists dropping across his head. Sykes connects and keeps running, bouncing off the ropes he comes back looking for a cross body. Mushigahara catches Jared mid air, spins, and plants him to the canvas with a powerslam.
Richard Parker: The ring’s a shakin’! The Kaiju slammed Sykes so hard his entire family tree is rattling.
Nick Stuart: Mushi’s not done with Sykes.
Mushi brings himself to his feet, and sends Sykes flying into the ropes. Mushi gets a head full of steam, and comes roaring in, smashing Sykes with a splash. Mushi takes a page out of Abe Lipschitz’ book and runs to the far corner, colliding with it and coming back looking for a second big splash. Sykes rolls out of the way as Mushi smashes into the corner. Mushi staggers out of the corner and Sykes tries to catch him with a cutter. Mushi manages to catch Sykes around the waist though, and plants him into the canvas with an overhead german suplex.
Nick Stuart: What a suplex by Mushi!
Richard Parker: Sykes is dazed! But I don’t think Mushi can capitalize fast enough.
Richard Parker for the second time was absolutely correct and Mushi spends a moment collecting himself as he gets back to his feet. Sykes crawls to his feet, and Mushi grabs him by the hair. He whips him across the ring and into the ropes, Mushi goes for a big boot but Sykes ducks under, coming back off the ropes with a flying forearm that staggers The God Beast. Jared is frustrated that the big man won’t go down and heads back to the ropes.
Nick Stuart: This might be a bad idea.
Sykes comes back across the ring, Mushi is leaning against the ropes and Sykes leaps, ass first, planting it dead center into Mushi’s chest. The two men spill over the top rope. Sykes manages to grab the top rope and pull himself up to the apron while Mushi flips all the way over to the floor, but stays up on his feet.
Richard Parker: The size of Sykes’ kiester can’t even take Mushi down!
Nick Stuart: Kiester is not going onto your highlight reel.
Sykes looks to his corner, waiving Calvin over. Jared jumps off the apron while Calvin dives right after. Sykes grabs Mushi around the head with a huge clothesline that sends him stumbling and crashing into the barricade. Calvin in flight, lines up Mushi and lands on him with a stomp to his chest that drives Mushi to the ground and sends Calvin flipping over the barricade. Sykes looks back to check on Calvin, who was caught by a group of fans in the front row. Justine gives him a thumbs up, as Sykes drives a huge kick to Mushi’s face, and Calvin swings herself up and over the barricade, driving a drop kick directly into The God Beast’s face.
Richard Parker: ow… Ow… OW!
Nick Stuart: That did not look pleasant for Mushi.
Jimmy Turnbull begins counting the competitors out, as Sykes grabs the downed Mushi by the back of the head and drags him to the ring. He rolls him in under the bottom rope while jumping up onto the apron. He waives Mushi to his feet, Mushi stumbles his way there. Fox is screaming at Mushi for a tag, but the big man is stumbling and wobbling. He backs towards Fox as Jared Sykes explodes off the top rope and catches Mushi with a springboard cutter.
Nick Stuart: WHAT EFFORT BY DAVID FOX!
Mushi crashes to the mat but Jimmy Turnbull calls the tag, David Fox is hanging over the top rope as far as he can, with his arm stretched out as far as it can go. He barely managed to tag Mushi’s back and half falls into the ring. Fox makes it look graceful though and is quickly up to his feet as Sykes looks around confused. Fox explodes forward catching Sykes across the jaw with an uppercut. Jared’s head whips back.
Richard Parker: He just saved this match for the Mix.
Fox grabs Sykes in the muay thai plum and drives a knee into Sykes’ face. Then another. Sykes is wobbling, and Fox pulls his head down once again, but this time sits out, driving Jared’s face into the mat. Fox flips Sykes over and hooks both legs.
Nick Stuart: Sykes with the kick out.
Richard Parker: Of course he did, there wasn’t an eiffel tower on top of him.
Fox is back up, and Sykes manages to bring himself to his feet. Fox steps forward, looking for a roundhouse kick, but Sykes manages to dive to his side, tagging in Calvin. Justine comes over the top rope again, this time driving her feet into Fox’s face with a mini missile drop kick. Fox stumbles backwards holding his chest. Justine rushes forward, punching Fox in the ribs, again, and again.
Richard Parker: David Fox is going to shit his pants if she keeps punching him like that.
Nick Stuart: I don’t think that’s how that works Richard…
Richard Parker: It will if he dies, Nick.
Fox, much further away from dying than Richard Parker would think, manages to catch Calvin across the face with a right hand, and follows it up with a vicious roundhouse kick. Calvin goes down and Fox hooks her leg.
Fox nods his head, and keeps going. He looks to his corner, but Mushi is still down off the apron. The camera cuts and shows Mushi, holding his head, blood coming from his nose. Fox keeps fighting.
Nick Stuart: Fox has almost pinned both of our tag team champions.
Richard Parker: He can’t keep this up.
Fuck you Richard Parker. That’s what David Fox would say anyway. Fox drags Calvin to her feet by her hair and whips her into the ropes, Calvin comes back ducking under Fox’s roundhouse kick attempt. She comes off the far ropes and takes a swing with a jumping pump kick. David hits the dirt, letting her sail over. Calvin lands on her feet, but Fox manages to sweep her legs out from underneath her. Justine manages to fall into the corner with Jared, and tags Sykes in who comes in with a head full of steam and delivers a basement dropkick to Fox.
Richard Parker: It’s hard to fight two people at once.
Nick Stuart: Very.
Sykes is quickly back to his feet, and Fox follows. David and Sykes lock up, Fox fires off a knee to the midsection that doubles Sykes over. Jared stays up though, and blocks a second attempt at a knee. Sykes ends up beside Fox, and flips him over, sending him crashing down on his head.
Nick Stuart: ANGEL’S HALO!
Richard Parker: God damn that move is pretty.
Sykes hooks Fox’s legs as Turnbull slides in for the pinfall.
Fox kicks out, Sykes is right back up to his feet. He drags David Fox up to his feet with him. He whips Fox as hard as he can into the ropes. Fox comes back off the ropes and takes a huge swing for a clothesline but Sykes ducks under it and uses his own momentum to smash Fox’s face into the ground with a Flatliner!
Nick Stuart: Third Degree! Third Degree! That’s it! Sykes got all of it!
Richard Parker: David Fox spun on his head like a goddamn top.
Sykes hooks David Fox’s legs as Jimmy Turnbull slides in for the count.
Nick Stuart: DAVID FOX GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!
Richard Parker: NO WAY!
Nick Stuart: David Fox is still alive!
Richard Parker: Not for long!
Sykes doesn’t waste any time going to the ropes and tagging Justine Calvin in. Mushi is still down on the outside while Justine vaults up to the top rope as Sykes brings Fox to his feet.
Nick Stuart: This is something I’ve only heard of in rumors…
Richard Parker: Something new coming up from the tag champs. David Fox is absolutely, positively fucked.
Nick Stuart: FAMILY SHOW, RICHARD!
Richard Parker: I’m sorry kids, David Fox is absolutely, unequivocally, the most fucked human being on the planet. Like, he’s going to the same farm they sent your dog to, he’s as dead as you are after you don’t do your homework and your Mom found your weed. Like you’re that fucking dead.
Sykes lifts Fox up for the Omega 13 as Calvin prepares herself to leap off the ropes. Calvin launches but Fox manages to flip all the way over landing on his feet. Calvin comes crashing in looking for a stomp, but David Fox absolutely decapitates her out of mid air with his spinning back kick.
Nick Stuart: FLASHBANG! FLASHBANG! FLASHBANG!
Richard Parker: WE’RE GOING TO HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS!
David Fox staggers like a madman to the center of the ring, Sykes gets to his feet and throws a right hand at Fox who shakes it off while screaming. He kicks Sykes in the stomach, which doubles Sykes over, then spins under bringing Sykes crashing down with a Twist of Fate!
Nick Stuart: That’s Jared Sykes’ finishing move from the NWC! THE SYKE-OUT!
Richard Parker: YOU CAN’T PIN SYKES! HE DOESN’T MATTER! GO PIN HER KICKPADS!
Fox, exhausted, drags himself over to Calvin and drapes his arm across the unconscious Calvin’s midsection as Jimmy Turnbull slides in to count.
Nick Stuart: Calvin kicked out at the last possible second! Calvin kicked out!
Richard Parker: It took too long Nick… it took too long to get back over there after the showdown with Sykes! Kickpads has a hell of a kick though. Jeeeeeeesus.
Turnbull holds up the two fingers Fox grabs at his hair and yanks on it, his eyes are wide as he looks around the ring. Fox slams his hands on the mat, once, twice, three times as he pumps himself up to get back to his feet. He stumbles up, just as Calvin begins to move. Fox stumbles over, finishing bringing her up to her feet. He gives her a huge irish whip across the ring into the far turnbuckle. Calvin smashes into the buckle and comes stumbling out of the corner. Kickpads loads his mighty leg up again, and swings it furiously forward. Calvin matrix’s herself underneath the spinning back kick, grabbing Fox by the head and dragging him to the ground for a neckbreaker.
Nick Stuart: Big neckbreaker by Calvin!
Richard Parker: She’s got a long way to go to shake off that Flashbang though.
Calvin and Fox struggle to their feet, as Mushigahara finally makes his way back up onto the apron. Fox fires off a low kick but Calvin checks it. Jared Sykes finally makes his way back over to his corner as Justine unloads with a low kick, and a right hand combination. Fox manages to block the right hand, but takes the low kick to the side of the leg. Calvin fires away again this time with a left hand, right hand combination. Fox manages to push her away, he looks back to his corner and Mushi is still catching his breath on the apron.
Nick Stuart: Fox is tiring.
Fox swings a right hand, but Calvin manages to block it, and delivers a kick to Fox’s side that doubles him over. Calvin sees the opportunity and pounces, driving Fox’s head into the canvas with a DDT. Calvin looks over, and Sykes has regained some level of normalcy and she tags Sykes in. Jared doesn’t waste any time and pulls Fox to his feet, He sets him up for Omega 13 as Calvin jumps to the top rope, and then off in one fluid motion. As Fox’s head smashes into the mat, Calvin lands with a double foot stomp down across his chest. Calvin rolls through the impact, and leaps up into the air, superman punching Mushi off of the apron as Jimmy Turnbull slides in to count the pinfall.
Richard Parker: WHAT A MANUEVER! THEY GOT ALL OF THAT!
Nick Stuart: Incredible move, I believe they call it, let me check my notes, The Moonlight Butterfly.
DING DING DING
Nick Stuart: What a contest to close out ReVival 23…
Richard Parker: That was unreal… incredible performance from the Tag Team Champions in there.
Turnbull is handed the titles by Vince Howard as he climbs into the ring. Turnbull hands the belts to Sykes and Calvin and helps them to their feet.
Vince Howard: And your winner by pinfall… and STIIIIIILLLLLLL the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOORLD! JARED SYKES AND JUSTINE CALVIN… EMINENCE!
Nick Stuart: For Richard Parker, this is Nick Stuart. We’ll see you all in two weeks from the Toyota Center in Houston.
The camera pans around the cheering arena as Sykes and Calvin help the Dangerous Mix to their feet and shake their hands.