TAG TITLES: KINGS OF POPSICLES (C) vs. WINDS OF CHANGE
Event: ULTRAVIOLENCE 2022
Event Date: 09/23/2022
TAG TITLES: KINGS OF POPSICLES (C) vs. WINDS OF CHANGE
We cut from seeing King Blueberry and Reina Raspberry on the screen back to the ringside area where Richard and Nick are at (and not nearly as cute as Blueberry and Raspberry). Richard looks uncomfortable to say the least.
Richard Parker: Can I go to the bathroom now?
Nick Stuart: It’s not time for the intermission.
Richard Parker: We could make the intermission now though, right?
Nick Stuart: No, no we can’t.
Richard Parker: Why is that?
Nick Stuart: Because we have a match happening right now. A big match.
Richard Parker: But, I really have to go.
Nick Stuart: Hold it.
Richard Parker: No promises.
We then cut to the ring where Vince Howard is ready to introduce us to our next match. The final match before Intermission.
Vince Howard: The following match is one fall and is for the PRIME TAG TEAM TITLES!
Every light in the MGM Grand shuts off at once.
“I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go.”
It’s not the typical way that Oingo Boingo’s “Dead Man’s Party” usually goes. You know those movie trailers that come out and they have a super solemn version of some classic song? It’s kind of like that. Danny Elfman’s vocals have been isolated, and placed behind a different song.
“Walkin’ with a dead man over my shoulder.”
As those words are spoken, dark-clad individuals wearing hoodies emerge from the back. Six of them, in total. And, indeed, all six of them are carrying what appear to be bodies over their shoulders. Because of the darkness shrouding them, it’s difficult to tell what they’re really carrying. Each of the six eventually line up on either side of the entrance ramp, three on each side.
“I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go.”
The spotlights shining down on these six individuals paint no clear picture of who they are, but it’s clear about one thing – their silhouettes do not match those of the Jimmy Bonafide Dancers. Also, there’s six of them, and everyone knows there’s seven Bonafides.
“Walkin’ with a dead man over my shoulder.”
It’s also becoming clearer what song is playing behind the lyrics of “Dead Man’s Party”. It’s “Time”, from the Inception soundtrack. Thanks, Hans Zimmer! The music has started to swell, now.
“Waiting for an invitation to arrive.”
The PRIMEview comes alive, fading into a view of a large moon looking over a very large tree. You might recognize it as the same shot from the famous E.T. bicycle scene. Only, that ain’t a bicycle with a funny Reese’s Pieces alien in the basket coming in on the left side. That’s a man. That’s an American. That’s a LARGE American.
And he’s doing a powerbomb, flying across the screen and in front of the moon in silhouette to do it. The alien in his grasp flails with his tiny, glowing little fingers. Can’t phone home when you’re being powerbombed, motherfucker!
“Goin’ to a party where no one’s still alive.”
The LARGE American flies to the other side of the screen in a definitive arc. The kind of arc that’s going to land somewhere. The kind of arc that leaves someone lying in a crater in a fetal position, like so many Yamchas before them.
“Waiting for an invitation to arrive.”
The iconic E.T. scene shakes as though an earthquake just happened, and a cheap movie effects explosion fills the entire screen. Everything turns to darkness, and nothing can be seen, not even the individuals carrying the “bodies”.
“Goin’ to a party where no one’s still alive.”
The camera cuts to the bottom of the entrance ramp, looking up at the entrance. The six individuals carrying their “bodies”, or whatever they are, are still stand pat as a light shines from the entryway. Danny Elfman’s lyrics are gone. It’s just “Time”, now.
Smoke has filled the entryway, and through it, the silhouette of a single man stands like a sentinel. The only thing that can be gleaned from his silhouette is that he’s wearing a heavy cape, one that is patchwork. The right shoulder of the cape is bigger than the left shoulder, because that shoulder has the head of a lion on it. The left shoulder was jagged and spiky, covered in fang and claw. He’s carrying a long pole with a long, narrow flag at the end, like a battle standard.
And then, two more individuals step through the smoke.
One, the smaller man, is clearly Joe Fontaine in silhouette. The other, the much larger man, is clearly Sid Phillips.
The Winds of Change have arrived.
And “Dean Man’s Party” starts for real, right at the chorus.
The six people carrying the bodies move forth, walking down the aisle in two lines of three. Once the middle of the three make the turn towards the ring, the three men at the entrance make their way down to the aisle.
It’s when the spotlights meet the trio that everything becomes clear.
Joe Fontaine is wearing new gear. Instead of the poncho that he and Sid had been rocking since ReVival 10, Joe has chosen to wear a tearaway suit. A bedazzled, red one. Around his neck, however, is a curious and very cursed necklace. You know how Dhalsim wears three skulls around his neck in Street Fighter? Well, imagine that, except it’s mannequin heads. Three of them. As a necklace.
Our boy has some real fucked up ideas about how to get over a phobia.
Sid’s mostly the same as he usually is, just sans poncho. His singlet, however, is also red for tonight. An image of a caricature of Sid powerbombing Cthulhu is printed in the exact center of the singlet. The words “HUGE POWERBOMB” are written above the eldritch powerbomb, and the word “SIDCRAFT” is written below it.
But it’s the man at the center stepping forward that catches the attention.
Because that’s not Baron von Blackberry. It’s Coral Avalon.
And when some members of the crowd realize who it is, they start cheering. Not everyone does, of course, but the noise picks up steam as they make their way to the ring.
Now that it’s lighter in the entrance ramp, it’s also clear that the people that are carrying the bodies aren’t carrying bodies. They’re mannequins, dressed up in funeral suits. All but one of the people carrying these mannequin dead men are unrecognizable. The one that could be recognizable? That’s Franco Marchesi, Coral’s right-hand man and frequent tag team partner. It stands to reason that the others are people from the school.
Anyway, let’s check in with Vince Howard real quick.
Vince Howard: Introducing first! Accompanied to the ring by Coral Avalon… From Phoenix, Arizona! They come in tonight at a total combined weight of 480 pounds! JOE FONTAINE! SID PHILLIPS! THEY ARE… THE WINDS! OF! CHAAAAAAANGE!
The mention of the erstwhile “Kleptomaniac”, former PRIME tag team champion with the Codemaster, and current-day “Crownless King” gets a sizable reaction from the Vegas crowd. Joe and Sid enter the ring, with Sid rolling under the ropes and Joe hopping over the top ropes. Meanwhile, Avalon walks around to the hard camera side, and waves the standard in his hands.
The standard has five symbols on it. The first, the one nearest and dearest to his heart. The skull with the broken crown. The symbol of the Crownless Kingdom. And then the next four… a blueberry, a blackberry, a raspberry, and a strawberry.
Tonight, there would be a Berry Civil War.
Even if Baron von Blackberry happened to decide to stay at his vacation home in the scenic, yet diabolical nation of Fruitsylvania on this night, there will be a war.
Nick Stuart: Something feels entirely different here tonight, and I’m not just talking about that man in the patchwork cloak.
Richard Parker: That guy looks familiar, Nick.
Nick Stuart: That’s Coral Avalon. He was a PRIME Tag Team Champion with the Codemaster some fifteen years ago.
Richard Parker: …I’m sure I’d remember someone with a name as dumb as that. I remember Codemaster, though. Weird.
The camera cuts to a section of the front row, next to the timekeeper’s table. Seated there are several faces not quite familiar to PRIME audiences. Two of them are Joey Malone and his wife Keri, Joe Fontaine’s parents. Three others are an assortment of four teenaged girls. Three of them are Joe’s younger sisters. The fourth is Sid’s younger sister. And sitting next to her, wearing his sunglasses indoors like an asshole, is Daniel Phillips. Sid’s father, and once the self-proclaimed “King of the Cruiserweights”. Sitting next to Daniel is Annabelle Avalon, Coral’s wife.
Nick Stuart: Lot of family here in attendance for the Winds of Change.
Richard Parker: You know, bringing all these people to cheer for you when there’s a good chance you’re gonna let them all down is a choice. Not the choice I’d make, but… it’s a choice.
Nick Stuart: You are seriously insufferable.
Richard Parker: Well, you should have let me use the restroom when I wanted to.
The PRIMEview flickers to life, showing what looks to be a pool of cartoon water. Moving in from the top of the screen is a black package that tears itself open and sprinkles its contents into the liquid. What does the package say? Two words.
The water on the screen begins to percolate, before boiling over and filling the PRIMEview with steam. Also full of steam is the top of the ringside entrance, because all thirty smoke machines fire up at the same time.
Nick Stuart: I thought we’d be past the smoke machine gag by now, Richard.
Richard Parker: Seriously? Have you met some of the idiots we have in the back?
Yes. There are thirty smoke machines. Around here we believe in escalation without fear of repercussions or reprisal.
Six figures appear in the smoke. Eagle-eyed viewers will recognize them immediately as Charlene, Misty, Noelle, Carl, Janelle, and Cinnamon of Jimmy Bonafide Dancer fame. They are all dressed as ninjas, save for Carl, whose outfit is so tight that it is best described as a “spandex disaster fiesta”.
Where is the seventh (and most arthritic) member of the JBDs, that fossil of dilapidated masculinity known as Biff? He’s the one currently wheeling out an oversized frame with an equally oversized circle attached to it. It’s a Plot Hole. How do we know? Because it, like everything else in this bonkers-ass entrance, is clearly labeled.
Just hope there’s not a convertible full of pudding. Or rather, another convertible full of pudding, because we already used that gag during Survivor.
With the Plot Hole firmly now in position, the music starts.
Motley Crue. “Knock ‘Em Dead Kid.”
Oh, were you expecting “Sabotage?” Sorry. Couldn’t license it in time.
Hey, Vince Howard, let the people know.
Vince Howard: Making their way to the ring from Boston, Massachusetts and weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of two-hundred and one pounds plus “try to make me ask her this again, Vince, and I’m giving her your home address”…
Onto the stage step the PRIME Tag Team champions. In the ring, Vince Howard gives some serious consideration to a career change.
Vince Howard: And a total combined height of three-hundred and forty-five centimeters…
While the entrance may be full of frivolity and nonsense, the two people dressed as wrestling berries don’t look ready to share in the mirth. King Blueberry marches to the ring with purpose. Some will comment on the gear that he’s chosen for this event, and how the flame patterns added to his usual garb are part of the larger homage planned for the night. Others will note that the Trenton Locksmiths are not a real baseball team, and wonder how he found a jersey for a club that doesn’t exist.
All will read the solemn expression on his face and know his mind is very much elsewhere. Jonathan Rhine was taken from the building via ambulance, his future uncertain. That this weighs on King Blueberry is obvious.
He strides to the ring like a man with a purpose, and that is to get this over with as fast as goddamn possible. The jersey is off before he hits the bottom of the ramp, and the belt that he carries – one with a foil strawberry sticker over one of the side plates – is tossed into the ring before Vince can finish the instroductions.
For the Raspberry, tonight will leave an indelible mark on her memory. It is her second supershow on the biggest stage of them all. It marks her second defense as a world champion. And despite years close to the business, it is the first time that she’s seen a friend injured. She keeps pace with her partner, and while the expression on his face is tinted with an air of hostility, hers is stoic.
Vince Howard: King Blueberry! Reina Raspberry! They are the PRIME Tag Team champions of the world… They are… The KIIIIIIIINGS OFFFFFF POPSICLES!
Richard Parker: Looks like Blueberry also needs to use the restroom in a hurry.
Nick Stuart: I don’t think his purposeful walk has anything to do with using the restroom.
Richard Parker: How do you know?!
Nick Stuart: Because he seems more pissed off than… constipated, which is the look you’re giving me right now. He’s probably thinking about Jonathan Rhine, who was carted out of here earlier.
Richard Parker: Oh yeah, that.
Nick Stuart: I hope you crap yourself.
Blueberry and Raspberry hand over their titles, Blueberry showing no emotion as he does so. Nixton raises the titles up for both teams and the audience to see before he hands them over to the time keeper.
Elvis Nixon gives his final set of instructions to both teams before he signals for the start of the match.
Joe Fontaine starts for Winds of Change while King Blueberry starts for Kings of Popsicles. The two men circle each other in the ring, Blueberry’s face stoic while Fontaine looks around at the ground in the MGM-Grand Arena and then returns to focusing upon Blueberry. They enter a collar-and-elbow tie-up with King Blueberry immediately connecting with an arm drag. KBB holds onto Fontaine’s wrist as he is in a seated position, twists slightly, and drives his knee in between his shoulder blades. Joe winces in pain as he fights his way back up to his feet, reverses it so he is wrenching KBB’s arm and connects with a side kick across KBB’s chest.
Nick Stuart: Joe Fontaine wrestling in the biggest match of his career against one of the toughest opponents he could ever be in the ring with. This is going to be a test for him all the way through, but he is managing his own to start here.
Richard Parker: To start? The bell literally just rang. We are twenty-two seconds in. What are you talking about, Nick?!
Still holding onto KBB’s wrist, Fontaine begins dragging KBB to his corner, but Blueberry digs in his heels, yanks Fontaine back into him, and connects with a back body drop. Fontaine pops back up to his feet and is met with a knife-edge chop from KBB. Fontaine groans in pain as KBB slams his knee into Fontaine’s midsection, and connects with a neckbreaker across his knee, causing Joe to grab his neck in pain. KBB drags Fontaine over to his corner, and tags in Reina. She immediately slingshots herself over the top rope and connects with a leg drop across his throat.
Richard Parker: That Reina Raspberry, she’s something else.
Nick Stuart: She has been amazing in the ring since she joined with King Blueberry to win the Tag Team titles. Truly a team forged in fire and able to make the most of their opportunities.
Richard Parker: Yeah, yeah, all that and a bag of chips.
Fontaine sits up, grabbbing his throat, and is met with Raspberry who bounces off the ropes and slams her knee into his face. She then reaches down and pulls him up off the mat, whips him into the ropes, and connects with a dropkick that sends Fontaine stumbling backwards and falls through the ropes and to the outside. Reina bounces off the ropes again and goes for a Tope Suicida on Fontaine, who simply side steps it and sends her flying into the ringside barricade. Fontaine drags Reina up to her feet and connects with a Saito Suplex before he rolls her back into the ring.
Nick Stuart: Quick thinking there from Fontaine to get out of the way of the Tope Suicida from Reina. Fontaine needing to gain some momentum and has been able to find a way to at least slow down the momentum from Reina.
Richard Parker: Seriously, what’s up with Coral?
Nick Stuart: What are you talking about? We discussed this already.
Richard Parker: He just looks familiar.
Nick Stuart: And we talked about it!
Fontaine enters the ring, drags Reina by the arm over to his corner, and tags in Sid Phillips. Phillips steps through the ropes and yanks Reina off of the mat as Fontaine steps through the ropes. Phillips looks at Reina, then over at King Blueberry, and then lifts Reina up for a powerbomb. Reina fires back with a series of fists to the crown of Sid’s skull, but Phillips powers through it and connects with the powerbomb. Sid then goes for the cover.
Nick Stuart: And Reina just gets her shoulder up in the nick of time! That could have been disastorous for Kings of Popsicles!
Richard Parker: This is the issue you have when you step into the ring with Sid Phillips. He is Powerbomb Siddy for a reason and he just showed it to you. He can’t do a lot in that ring, but if he powerbombs you, you’re going to feel it and then some. Reina needs to get out of the ring as fast as she can.
Sid looks down at Reina and then looks over at Blueberry who is staring down Phillips in the process. Sid makes his way back up to his feet, goes to lift Reina up, but she pulls him into a small package.
Richard Parker: Well, that would have been embarassing.
Nick Stuart: Reina not giving up quite yet!
Sid kicks out easily and gets back up to his feet, grabs Reina, and lifts her off the ground onto his shoulders. She then slips behind him, falling behind his back, and goes for a roll-up once again, but Sid reaches down and yanks her back up to his shoulders only for Reina to use her momentum to connect with a Hurricanrana on Phillips! Reina slowly makes her way up to her feet as Sid makes his way back up to his feet, rolls through him his legs, and tags KBB back into the match. As she does, KBB leaps to the top rope, and connects with a missile dropkick that sends Phillips crashing to the mat.
Nick Stuart: Reina getting out of dodge there in a hurry and gets Blueberry back into the match who looks a bit… not here.
Richard Parker: Yeah, Blueberry has a big match in front of him still, and he can’t quite seem to stay focused in the moment.
Sid makes his way up to his feet and is met with a forearm strike from KBB. KBB fires off another one and then another one before whipping him into the ropes and connecting with a discus elbow that drops Phillips to one knee. KBB then bounces off the ropes and goes for a flying knee to Sid’s face, but Phillips blocks it, instead lifting KBB up into the air and slamming him back down with a powerbomb that shakes the ring. Phillips rolls off of KBB and stretches out to tag in Fontaine who climbs up to the top rope and connects with a 450 Splash before going for the cover.
Richard Parker: And Blueberry makes a simple mistake there, which almost cost him the match.
Nick Stuart: You can tell he’s feeling the effects of that powerbomb and 450 Splash. This is not a place where he wants to be at.
Richard Parker: He’s got to pull it in and fast.
Fontaine drags KBB up to his feet and connects with a knife-edge chop before pushing him into the ropes. Fontaine goes to whip KBB into the ropes, but KBB reverses it and sends Fontaine instead. He goes for a clothesline, but Fontaine ducks underneath it before he connects with a springboard moonsault on KBB! Fontaine rolls off of KBB, stands above him, and connects with a standing moonsault into a double knee drop across the chest of KBB!
Nick Stuart: And Fontaine is starting to pick up some momentum here.
Richard Parker: You know, his wrestling style seems… different and yet familiar all at the same time.
Nick Stuart: Now that you mention it, I think you’re correct.
KBB rolls onto his knees as he tries to get his bearings straight while Fontaine bounces off the ropes and connects with a dropkick to the ribs of his opponent. KBB rolls onto his back as Fontaine bounces off the ropes, steps over KBB, and springboards off the opposite middle rope into a double foot stomp across KBB’s midsection. KBB rolls to the outside, grabbing his midsection while Fontaine climbs the closest turnbuckle. KBB makes his way up to his feet and turns towards Fontaine only for Joe to connect with flying crossbody that sends both men crashing to the ground.
Richard Parker: Well, this is Joe Fontaine’s big opportunity and he is making the most of it. The knock against Winds of Change is that Sid Phillips is capable of one move and one move only — no matter how devastating a move it is — and that leaves Joe Fontaine to have to carry significant weight to cover up those weaknesses.
Nick Stuart: Correct and it is clear that Coral Avalon has done a bit of training with Joe to help him elevate his game for this match.
Fontaine is back up to his feet and grabs KBB as he does, smashing his head across the top of the barricade. KBB stumbles away from Fontaine who comes up behind him and whips him into the ringside barricade. KBB slams hard into the barricade, but then fires back with a clothesline that flips Fontaine inside out. KBB drops to one knee, taking a moment to gather himself, before he rolls Fontaine back into the ring. As he does, he looks over and sees Coral Avalon standing at the corner, locking eyes with him and finally understanding why he received the apology at ReVival 15 before he re-enters the ring.
Nick Stuart: Something about the way that Blueberry looked at Avalon there–
Richard Parker: You caught it too?
Nick Stuart: Yeah, like an acknowledgement.
Richard Parker: Oh, I thought it was romantic. Nevermind then.
He watches as Fontaine climbs back up to his feet and KBB catches him with a stiff forearm shot before grabbing the back of his skull and bashing it into a nearby turnbuckle. He then spins Fontaine around and connects with a palm strike across Fontaine’s chest before connecting with a stiff kick to the midsection. KBB then connects with another palm strike before connecting with a second stiff kick to the midsection. KBB then connects with a hip toss out of the corner and with Fontaine in a seated position, KBB connects with a dropkick to the back of Joe’s skull and back.
Richard Parker: And here is King Blueberry getting some action in.
Nick Stuart: Blueberry seems a bit more focused now, a bit more present. Kings of Popsicles still have a long way to go to retaining their titles, but they’re making the right steps to get there.
KBB drags Fontaine off of the mat and whips him into the corner, hard. Fontaine leans in the corner, dazed, as KBB moves to the opposite corner, and runs full speed at Fontaine, looking for step up enziguiri, but Fontaine drops to a seated position and KBB lands on his knees. Blueberry gets back up to his feet as Fontaine gets back up to his feet and connects with a running bulldog on Blueberry. Fontaine fights back up to his feet, bounces off the ropes and connects with a running Shooting Star Press to KBB’s back. Fontaine then rolls over and tags in Phillips.
Nick Stuart: And a costly mistake there from Blueberry, who doesn’t usually make too many mistakes in his matches, but that one may have opened the door for some serious punishment for him.
Richard Parker: Yeah, I don’t like the look in Sid’s eyes. They scream–
Nick Stuart: Pain?
Richard Parker: I was going to say sexy time.
Nick Stuart: Your reading of things is way off tonight.
Phillips steps into the ring and drags Blueberry off of the mat, slams his knee into KBB’s midsection, and powerbombs him in the center of the ring. Phillips then goes for the cover.
Nick Stuart: Close call there!
Richard Parker: Exactly and I don’t know how much more of that King Blueberry can take of that.
Phillips looks at KBB, who managed to kick out of the powerbomb. Sid reaches down, grabs KBB by the mask, tearing it a slight bit in the process, before yanking him up off the mat again and powerbombs for a second time. Phillips kneels like he’s going for a pin, but decides to yank KBB off of the mat once again and connects with a third powerbomb before going for the cover.
Richard Parker: HOW?!
Nick Stuart: That looked like it would be OVER, but King Blueberry has found something deep inside of him to keep fighting.
Phillips looks at KBB in shock and disbelief as the broken and battered man looks out of it. Reina claps her hands, trying to get KBB into the mix of things, but Sid gets back up and drags KBB up with him once again. He lifts KBB into the air and holds him up there, walks around the ring before hoisitng him over his head. KBB uses the momentum to leap off of Sid’s shoulders onto the top rope and then springs backwards into a cutter as Sid turns around!
Nick Stuart: What a counter from King Blueberry there! Where did that come from?!
Richard Parker: I’ve seen King Blueberry do a lot of things, none of which actually involves blueberries, but that was rather impressive and the very thing they needed in that moment.
KBB crawls and manages to tag in Reina as Sid is able to tag in Fontaine. Reina connects with a slingblade on Fontaine, but both rush back up to their feet and Reina narrowly dodges a superkick from Fontaine, stepping around him and slamming her forearm into the back of his neck before spinning him around and connecting with a Fisherman Buster. Reina gets back up to her feet and narrowly ducks underneath a clothesline from Sid Phillips, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a running dropkick to the left knee of Phillips. With him down on one knee, Reina bounces off the ropes again and connects with a step up enziguri.
Richard Parker: Well, damn.
Nick Stuart: What a series of moves by Reina as she is lighting up both Joe and Sid here. You have to admire her moxie and determination even when facing the worst of it.
Richard Parker: She’s athletic as all get out.
As Reina gets up to her feet, Joe comes flying off the ropes with a springboard dropkick, sending her out of the ring. Fontaine then bounces off the ropes, looking for a move to the outside, but as he begins to leap over the top rope KBB connects with a superkick that drops Fontaine across the top rope and back into the ring. KBB looks like he’s ready to pounce on Fontaine when Reina grabs him and pulls him down, putting her forehead against his and whispers to him.
Nick Stuart: First, what a save by King Blueberry there and Fontaine didn’t see that kick coming at all.
Richard Parker: And now it looks liek Reina and Blueberry are having a chance to regroup, focus in on this match, that has seen everything ratchet up in intensity.
Nick Stuart: That was going to be my second piece. Reina slowing down Blueberry and we’re not sure what is being said, but definitely is trying to get him to hone in one what needs to be done in this match.
After a few moments, KBB nods his head and looks back into the ring where Phillips and Fontaine are making their way back up to their feet. Slowly, Blueberry and Reina enter the ring as Sid and Joe look across the ring at their opponents. Elvis Nixon stands in the middle and slowly backs away as Sid and Blueberry race at one another while Reina and Fontaine do the same, all four trading forearm shots with one another.
Nick Stuart: Well, these two teams are going at it and this is not the kind of match that Kings of Popsicles really want, especially with Sid Phillips on the other side of the ring.
Richard Parker: Now this is my kind of party!
Fontaine connects with a spinning heel kick that drops Reina to both knees while Fontaine spins and connects with an elbow across the jaw of King Blueberry.
And then everyone stopped moving.
Joe looked over at Sid, shocked that he did an actual move that wasn’t a powerbomb.
The crowd looked at one another, shocked that Sid did a move that wasn’t a powerbomb.
A replay is shown of Sid hitting the elbow on King Blueberry and it is not static. We actually see him connect with the move.
The only person not shocked is Coral Avalon, who has a smile on his face.
Nick Stuart: Shocked.
Richard Parker: Shocked.
Confirmed, everyone else is shocked.
Blueberry is down on one knee as Fontaine connects with a superkick to the jaw of Reina, sprawling her out in the middle of the ring. Sid then lifts KBB up and powerbomb him on top of Reina!
Richard Parker: Well, that’s not nice.
Nick Stuart: Not at all, as Joe Fontaine is now going for the pin and potentially winning the Tag Team Titles!
Nick Stuart: And Reina manages to kick out, forcing her shoulder off of the mat just in time to avoid Kings of Popsicles losing the tag team titles.
Richard Parker: I have no idea how Reina managed to kick out with Blueberry AND Fontaine on top of her, but she did!
Fontaine gets back up to his feet and drags Blueberry up with him, slams his fist into Blueberry’s jaw a few times.
Then he dabs.
Yes he dabs.
Richard Parker: What the hell is that?!
Nick Stuart: They call that a dab.
Richard Parker: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
Nick Stuart: It’s okay, Richard, you’re Dusk-old.
Fontaine then moonwalks in front of Blueberry.
Nick Stuart: What a SMOOTH CRIMINAL!
Richard Parker: I think I want everyone in this match to die now.
Nick Stuart: Spoil sport.
Fontaine then goes for a superkick, but KBB falls backwards, kips back up to his feet, and connects with a stiff boot to the midsection before connecting with a Sleeper Suplex. KBB begins to get back up to his feet and is mowed down by a clothesline from Sid Phillips. As Sid turns around, he’s met with a flying forearm to the face from Reina Raspberry that sends him crashing into the corner. Reina unloads with a series of powerful kicks to the midsection until she springboards off the middle rope and connects with a drop kick across the jaw. She gets up to her feet, helps KBB up to his feet, and whips him into Sid where he connects with a flying clothesline.
Nick Stuart: Great teamwork from Blueberry and Reina!
Richard Parker: I don’t know where Kings of Popsicles are pulling it out from, but they refuse to slow down.
Nick Stuart: This match could still go either way. Sid and Joe have done a phenomenal job of bringing the heat to the champions.
Blueberry turns around and is met with a Shining Wizard with an obnoxious mid-air dab from Joe Fontaine.
Nick Stuart: ONCE UPON A TIME IN FORTNITE!
Richard Parker: Fontaine going for the cover—
Nick Stuart: But King Blueberry is NOT the legal man in the ring!
Sure enough, Elvis Nixon is informing Fontaine of this as Joe looks on in surprise. He gets up to his feet, spins around to look for Reina, and is met with a stiff boot to the midsection and before he knows it, she has connected with the RUBY CUTTER!
Richard Parker: Oh man…
Nick Stuart: Fontaine never saw it coming! Reina Raspberry with the Ruby Cutter!
She then drags her arm across Fontaine’s chest.
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winners… and STILL! PRIME TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! REINA RASPBERRY! KING BLUEBERRY! KINGS! OF! POPSICLES!
Reina crawls over to King Blueberry, wrapping her arm around him and pulling him into her. Slowly, they are able to make their way to their feet as Elvis Nixon has gathered the Tag Team titles and is walking over to them.
As they get to their feet, they are handed the titles, but there looks to be very little celebrating in their faces.
Nick Stuart: A phenomenal match and another match where KoP manage to retain their titles, but still you can see the somberness in their eyes.
Slowly, Sid helps Joe up to his feet and they lock eyes with Reina and Blueberry. Blueberry extends his hand and Joe takes it while Reina shakes Sid’s hand for the hellacious match. Blueberry leans in and whispers something in Joe’s ear before Reina and Blueberry exit the ring and make their way up the ramp in a hurry.
Richard Parker: Crazy, crazy match.
Nick Stuart: Exactly and one that you would wish Blueberry and Reina were able to celebrate, but I’m positive they’re heading to the hospital to check on their close friend, Jonathan Rhine. With that folks, we’ve reached our intermission and we will be back with you shortly!
We then cut to… intermission music.