THAT OL’ GAG
It was a valiant effort by the eGG Bandits for sure this evening in their quest for immunity in Tag Team Survivor. Well, most of the “effort” actually didn’t come from one of them until later. And as for the jort sport, well, it seemed as if there was a bit of a problem with the bottoms of his trainers.
The PRIME film team is able to catch up with the two, who appear to be speed-walking toward the entrance curtain in an effort to give their third leg a little bit of moral support for his Universal title match against Brandon Youngblood. Unfortunately, their journey would come to a bit of a roadblock as a voice rang out behind them.
It was a little bit shrill, but a lotta bit country. And it wasn’t exactly a welcome one, either.
Kendra Collier: Hey y’all! BANDITS! Gotta important message from the President and CEO I need to tell y’all! Hold yer horses!
With a smirk across her lips and a clipboard loosely dangling from her left hand, Kendra Collier hustles up to Bobby Dean and Doozer who turn around to acknowledge her. Doozer with an eye roll, but the always-cheery Honaleean offers up a wave.
Bobby Dean: Hi Little Zeb!
Kendra’s smile quickly turns southward as she burns a hole through his forehead with her retinas.
Kendra Collier: I swear on the holy cross if you call me that EVER again, Bobby, I’ll make dang sure your next job is competin’ on the actual Survivor.
Bobby Dean: She’s so darn cute when she’s all riled up and feisty like that, huh Doozy?
Doozer is quick to interject, once again being the voice of reason to try and prevent nonsense as opposed to encouraging it, while also reaching out and grabbing Bobby’s arm and pulling it back before the big man can pat Kendra on the head. Hopefully it was just the head.
Doozer: Listen, Kendra. Would really love to catch up and find out who’s leading the pack this year in your hometown for the Walter White Achievement Awards, but we’ve got to go watch PRIME’s other stuck-up teenager try not to get killed by a guy who actually calls himself Suplex Daddy. So mind if you make this quick? What’s Mom want now?
Collier sighs, shifting back to a somewhat serious demeanor and nods.
Kendra Collier: Sorry, Doozer. Don’t turn your hat around frontways and get all frustrated on me. I just wanted to relay to y’all a reminder. The Almasy Invitational finals needs tuh showcase the abilities of the ‘rasslers in the ring tonight, so if y’all decide to get cute and mess thangs up, well…let’s just say you might be seein’ me a lot more than you prolly wanted to goin’ forward backstage…
Both Bobby and Doozer exchange a look, then both begin to howl with laughter.
Bobby Dean: Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mom’s gonna sic her little blonde chihuahua on us if we do something bad? What ever will we do?
Doozer: Help me, Bobby! I’m TREMBLING in fear! Look out, or she might hit you over the head with that clipboard!
Bobby Dean: AHHHHHHHH! Not the clipboard!
The two share even more giggles at what they perceive as the weakest threat of all time: an 18-year old intern. Kendra, meanwhile, just shrugs her shoulders and allows them to continue egging it on until they eventually stop.
Kendra Collier: Fine. Do whatever you want to, I reckon.
She turns and begins to walk back in the other direction, but after about a few steps stops dead in her tracks.
Kendra Collier: Oh, one other thing I wanted to ask y’all. I’m missing a few things I brought to the Grand a lil’ earlier today. Jar of Crisco, some motor oil, a little thang of bacon grease…you two ain’t seen it, have you?
Bobby Dean: Now why in the world would we have seen any of that?
Doozer: Exactly. And why in the hell would you bring all of that stuff to a wrestl…ing…show…
Mid-sentence, a light bulb went off over the top of Doozer’s backwards baseball cap, recollecting his difficulties with pushing the large boulder down the strip due to some sort of foreign substance being coated all over his shoes.
Doozer: Why you…
With a sarcastic wave, Kendra leaves before another word can be uttered, making her exit.