
THE DOCTOR GETS HIS SHOT
Cut to the ring, where we see a brown wooden podium has been set up. On the front of the podum is an emblem: shaped like a knight’s shield, dark purple, with a white “NR” written in fancy cursive in the center.
The lights go out.
The first and iconic few chords of Beethoven’s classic “Fur Elise” each throughout the arena. On the big screen, a series of purple music notes appear in tandem with the song. The music shifts from classic piano to a guitar version of the theme (performed by Cole Rolland) as two letters are on the screen: “NR.” The crowd begins to jeer as the house lights come back on, but this time as solid purple.
From the back appears The Good Doctor in all his glory: Ned Reform. He is not dressed to compete, but rather wearing a traditional khaki/blue button up combo. No tie today, and his face – usually so full of life and love for himself when he makes his entrance – seems somewhat sullen. He nods sadly and sighs before beginning his walk to the ring amongst the boos.
Nick Stuart: We’ve been hearing rumblings all week that Ned Reform had come to a crossroads – his words, not mine – in his PRIME career after taking a loss two weeks ago to Just Scott. Judging by this set up in the ring, I’m guessing he’s making some sort of announcement about his future.
Richard Parker: He’s thinking about calling it quite because he lost his… second match?
Nick Stuart: Correct.
Reform is all business as he climbs up the steps and enters the ring. He approaches the podium and adjusts the mic before making a brisk “cut it” motion followed by his theme song abruptly cutting out. Reform uses both hands to steady himself on the podium as he looks into the camera with forlorn eyes.
Ned Reform: Ladies and…
Reform suddenly gets a bit choked up. He takes a moment to compose himself.
Ned Reform: Ladies and…
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
Reform covers his mouth with his hand as if he cannot believe the chant that the PRIME fans in attendance are now showering him with. He sighs again, letting the fervor run its course. When he senses a weakening in the chant, he jumps on it.
Ned Reform: Ladies and gentlemen! It is with a heavy heart that I appear before you today. You surely have noticed by demeanor: I am far from my usual jovial, devil-may-care, happy-go-lucky, salt-of-the-earth, life-of-the-party self, yes? There has been a great weight on my mind these past few weeks, children… yes, a great weight.
Reform pauses, seemingly to let the gravity (get it?) of that statement really land with the fans, but in reality he simply gives them another chance to boot the hell out of him.
Ned Reform: I’m sure you all saw two weeks ago when a great injustice occurred in the what should be hallowed grounds that is this ring. Dare I say that few in the history of this country have experienced an injustice to the maginitute that befell me when Great Scott or Just Scott or Scott Free or whatever it is that cretin is calling himself these days performed an act SO ILLEGAL it nearly tore the fabric of reality. I knew that PRIME had no respect for the rule of law, but I had no idea that it was so flippant about the very laws of physics that bind the universe together. And and a result, I stand here today as man who is…
He chokes up. This is hard to get out.
Ned Reform: I am so disenfranchised and disappointed that I… I have thought long and hard about leaving PRIME altogether.
YES! The fans seem to approve of this idea. Reform nods as if he believes they are showing him support.
Ned Reform: I’m not proud of this. To abandon my mission so early in its implementation would be to admit defeat. And children, Dr. Ned Reform is never defeated. And with that idea in mind…
Slowly, the sides of his mouth curl into a sinister grin. The facade of a beaten man melts away, and that familiar obnoxious sparkle returns to his eye. His tone of voice begins to shift as well.
Ned Reform: …I am going nowhere.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ned Reform: In fact, being the victim of PRIME’s gross mismanagement has reinvigorated me more than ever. I have clarity of purpose. I am resolute. I will change PRIME for the better – and it starts tonight. In fact, I have scoured the PRIME roster… and I have found someone desperately in need of my guidance. For I will always be a teacher at heart, children, and as that is my passion, that is what I will use to refocus me. In that spirit…
Reform, still standing at the podium, turns to focus toward the entrance. He gestures widely, as if he were a game show host calling down the next contestant.
Ned Reform: Alex Steel… come down here!
Alex’s theme and video package began to play, and Alex walked to the stage, dressed in black tracksuit. Stepping down the ring and rolling in under the bottom rope, she took a microphone from a ringside worker and looked Ned over, a confused look on her face.
Alex Steel: “I’m not sure what you want from me, mate, but here I am.”
Reform smiles, removing the mic from the stand on his podium and stepping off to the center of the ring. He approaches Alex with a sly smile, extending a hand warmly.
Ned Reform: Dr. Ned Reform! A pleasure to meet you!
Alex cautiously shakes the man’s hand.
Alex Steel: G’day, doc.
Reform’s smile grows wider at the sound of someone actually addressing him by his title.
Ned Reform: I’ll be frank, Ms. Steel. I know you’re new around here. I understand that PRIME can be… very intimidating, especially for a nice woman such as yourself. I also know that the uncivilized mouth-breathing simpletons with the personality of a potato can be very… unwelcoming. I have some experience in that department. But I’ll tell you this: you, my new friend, have potential. You see, I have a bit of a gift. I can see past this…
Reform gestures up and down her form. Alex visibly scoffs in amusement.
Ned Reform: Underwhelming exterior to the person… to the athlete that you very well could be. And so I stand here with a one time offer… an offer not many are fortunate enough to experience! I, Ned Reform, PhD… conqueror of worlds, philosopher king, the sage on the stage… would like to take you under my wing.
Before Alex can even respond, he cuts her off.
Ned Reform: Oh! I’m sorry. Perhaps that went a bit over your head, yes? Allow me to make more… palatable for you.
Reform clears his throat and proceeds to put on the absolute worst Australian accent you’ve ever heard.
Ned Reform: Ya see, my little flower, I’d like to throw your shrimp on the barbie. We can get you jumping faster than a marsupial with a didgeridoo, we can! Also, something about a crocodile or whatever. What say you… mate?
Alex strokes her chin and paces backwards, before smiling and approaching Ned. Suddenly, she drops him with a standing lariat! The crowd erupts, and she kicks his microphone away, then hurts his podium out of the ring before darting out of the ring and walking backstage, all grins.
The fans give the newcomer a rousing ovation for shutting up what might be one of the biggest blowhards in PRIME. In the ring, Reform uses the bottom rope to try to pull himself up. His eyes are glossy and the camera moves in close enough to hear him muttering to himself.
Ned Reform: Baby… baby back ribs…
And he crumples to the mat.
Nick Stuart: I think it’s fair to say that Ned Reform’s condescending offer didn’t sit right with Alex Steel!
Richard Parker: She knocked him all the way to his favorite chain restaurant!
Alex takes in one last roar from the crowd before disappearing through the curtain and the show heads elsewhere.