THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
The scene switches to backstage where Vickie Hall’s face is DIRECTLY in front of the camera and it’s way too close of a look. You could see her nose hairs… if she had nose hairs. She goes through self-care steps daily. It’s just her nose is so big it’s taking up half the screen…
Nick Stuart: Dear god what are we witnessing!?
She cackles and finally steps back, revealing the LOVE CONVOY® behind her. Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy, Jonathan-Christopher and TOUGH LOVE® Darin Zion, all with various expressions on their faces and PRETTY PINK© scarfs around their necks. Zion looks pissed, Gladhappy’s head is in the clouds and Jonathan-Christopher is rattled out of his mind.
Vickie, confident as ever, holds a mic in hand.
Vickie Hall: HELLO pretties and welcome to my amazing interview segment!
Vickie pauses for cheers from inside the arena. Instead, she hears boos. Doesn’t phase her, she’s in her own dream world, or Hallmark movie.
Vickie Hall: Apparently I get yelled at if I ask someone else to interview us so I am commandeering my own divine time!
PRETTY PINK© spins around to greet her crew. TCG claps profusely while Jonathan-Christopher puts on a brave face and tries to do the same. Darin, however, rolls his eyes. Vickie goes back to the camera.
Vickie Hall: The LOVE CONVOY® are on a massive roll and we will continue tonight when Tristan-Crispin keeps the winning train CHOO-CHOOing along. Also as you may have heard, I have filed for numerous trademarks for brand recognition because my team is on the up and UP!!
Vickie wanders over to Darin Zion.
Vickie Hall: Darin hasn’t lost a match in like SO long! Finding out that REAL LOVE® is TOUGH LOVE® has PRIME shaking in their boots!
Vickie finds Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy next.
Vickie Hall: TCG is here to stay! What a winning swing this man has been on! Tonight he will continue his rise to the top and beat-… hmm, who are you wrestling again?
Gladhappy scratches his head.
Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy: A scorpio.
Vickie nods like this is an acceptable answer and continues down the line. She lets out a joyous squeak.
Vickie Hall: And my man, my Amazing Life Partner®, Jonathan-Christopher, fresh off defeating the FLAMBOGO guy! You have to be feeling magical right about now, my honey bunch of oats. I know I do.
Jonathan-Christopher gives a cheesy, forced smile into the camera as Vickie goes back to center stage in front of her crew.
Nick Stuart: JC didn’t beat-
Richard Parker: You’re going to convince them otherwise? This woman is insanely stuck in her own world! And I am here for it!
Vickie holds back maniacal laughter.
Vickie Hall: I promised my PRETTIES a major announcement so here it is! [Begins screaming at the top of her lungs] CAN I GET A DRUM ROLL PLEASE!?
The Nuzzle Lord happily obliges as The Vow of Virtue puts on a brave face and does the same. Zion isn’t taking part of it.
Vickie Hall: Every man you see behind me is enrolling in the Culture Shock Battle Royal!
Nick Stuart: Pretty sure we knew this.
Richard Parker: Great news!
Like something out of Oprah giving free cars to everyone, the Woman of Wonder tilts her shoulders back and starts pointing to each of them.
Vickie Hall: YOU GET A TITLE AND YOU GET A TITLE AND YOU GET A-
Zion puts his hand over top of Vickie’s mic. She’s immediately grounded… and also doesn’t look too happy.
She tries to hide it.
Vickie Hall: Yes, dear?
Zion shakes his head.
Darin Zion: Only one of us is going to get a title shot, Vickie.
It’s like this is the first time PRETTY PINK© has ever heard of this before. She ponders… ponders… ponders. Eventually, she shakes her head like this is an acceptable answer.
Vickie Hall: Okay, no problem Zion. Well it’s going to be one of us! YESSSSSSSS!! A man you see behind me will be the next World Title challenger and it’s going to be my ALP Jonathan-Christopher Hall!
Gladhappy couldn’t care less, he’s happy to be standing with the group of them while Zion seems to be unsupportive of the statement and JC is otherwise attempting to remain stoic and relaxed. Vickie positions in front of the camera again, dusting herself off as if this little spat never happened to begin with.
Vickie Hall: We already OWN the Tag Team Championships-
She’s cut off again but this time not by Darin Zion… but by her husband, Jonathan-Christopher. The Timid Tiger is certainly that, timid. Even though he interrupted with body language, it’s clear he doesn’t have the confidence to do much else other than say…
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: Yes. About that, my love…
Vickie’s eyes bulge out and instantly her man takes a step back physically and metaphorically, too. He seemingly changes course on the fly.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: I can’t wait to add another championship to my resume!
Vickie lifts her left hand and starts wagging her finger like the love of her life made her remember something else.
Vickie Hall: You reminded me, Jonathan-Christopher…
She conveys as her bushy eyebrows lower and her lips curl with intensity.
Vickie Hall: BRANDONG YOUNGBLOOD, YOU YOU CALLED OUT MY ALP AND I!?!? AAAAHHHHH IT PISSES ME OFF. I’m allowed to grow my brand, Brandon. Your jokes are stale and weak!
Vickie points behind her.
Vickie Hall: DO YOU WANT MORE OF THIS, BOY!? DO YOU!? HUH!?!? Well consider yourself the NUMBER ONE FUCKING TARGET come Culture Shock!
Vickie walks very closely towards the camera. Too close, just like before.
Vickie Hall: Ask King Blueberry what happened to him when he pushed me too far. What we did to him… isn’t that right my lovelies?
Vickie turns to see Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy reveal he’s holding a rusty nail hammered into the end of a block of wood. Gladhappy hands the block of wood over to Darin Zion.
Vickie Hall: Show him, Darin. Show him as soon as possible!
TOUGH LOVE® takes hold of the wooden block. He’s more at peace with the group right now, because he’s been given the opportunity to potentially take out his frustrations even further.
Vickie Hall: Tetanus shots are IN these days, Brandon. Old, crusty, gross looking Canadian Prairie men who are over the hill and finished their bullshit Hallmark Journeys years ago are NOT!
Meanwhile Jonathan-Christopher quivers whenever Youngblood’s name is mentioned.
Vickie Hall: PRIME! Be on watch. Culture Shock is OURS! Muhahahaha!