THE PRO-GULAG DEMOGRAPHIC

“You know, a popular misconception is that The Great Purge was a bad thing. I mean, every now and then one or two innocent people were sent to the Gulag, yes, but by now they’d have died by natural causes anyway. Who is missing them, right?!”

Alexei Ruslan rounds the corner of a hallway, with none other than Arthur Pleasant at his side. Ruslan must have come from catering, because he’s got a plate loaded with pasta, chicken parmesan, and breadsticks. He takes a bite out of a breadstick. 

Pleasant, meanwhile, does not have a plate of food and instead has one massive turkey leg. Where he found a turkey leg in June, one has to wonder, but it is definitely a turkey leg. He takes a chomp out of it as Alexei continues.

Alexei Ruslan: And besides, those bridges weren’t going to build themselves!

Arthur Pleasant: (with turkey leg bits falling out of his mouth) Fascinating! You see, this is why I’ve always been pro-Gulag. 

Alexei Ruslan: You know, this is such a unique opportunity that we have in front of us, which is why Praporschik Stanislav was looking for you. The Anglo Luchador? Jared Sykes? There’s some one-way trips to the Gulag just waiting to happen…

Ruslan stops at a door and finishes his breadstick, while precariously balancing the plate of food in his other hand.

Alexei Ruslan: Now then…

Ruslan grips the door handle and pushes it open. Inside the room is full of communism. Kenny Freeman, the wheelchair bound Randall Schwartz, and of course, Ivan Stanislav. The Russian Bear rises from an oversized seat and grins broadly. 

Ivan Stanislav: Ah! Arthur Pleasant. Come inside, dear comrade… we have something important to discuss…

As Ruslan ushers Pleasant into the room he turns to the camera and, with his free hand, shoves it backward and slams the door….