SORRY NOT SORRY TO BOTHER YOU

Nick Stuart: Let’s head backstage, where Matt Mills is standing by.

The picture changes, and sure enough there’s Matt Mills, standing by. Standing (by) next to him is young Nate Colton, dressed in blue jeans and a PRIME polo shirt, because they’re free for the wrestlers, and he knows not to pass up a free shirt.

Matt Mills: Hello PRIMEates! I’m backstage with Nate Colton, one of the hot new stars that have been turning heads in the company.

Nate Colton: Hi.

Matt Mills: Nate, you had your first singles match at Great American Nightmare against GREAT SCOTT and Balaam. While you weren’t able to pick up the victory, you certainly generated a lot of buzz about your performance. Your thoughts?

Nate Colton: Would have loved to come away with the win, that’s for sure. But it feels good to hear that I still got some recognition out of it. SCOTT and I showed that Balaam can be beaten. Sure as hell wasn’t easy, but now everyone knows that it’s possible.

Matt Mills: You mention GREAT SCOTT, who won the match and earned a shot against Rezin for the Five Star Title. Some would say that he stole the pinfall from you, and took an opportunity that should have been yours. How do you feel about that?

Colton’s eyes narrow a little, but he chuckles.

Nate Colton: Some might say that, but I wouldn’t. GREAT SCOTT took advantage of the situation; I would have done the same thing in his shoes. He earned that win, and I wish him luck in the title match at ReV12. Don’t worry about me; I’ll get my shot soon enough.

Now it’s Matt’s turn to be annoyed. Colton’s “aw, shucks” attitude may be sweet, but it’s bad television.

Matt Mills: It sounds like you’re ready to enter the singles ranks full-time, then. What does this mean for your partnership with Nathan Filmix?

Nate Colton: That’s going on the back burner for now. Survivor was a great opportunity for us both, but I’m ready to focus on my own career. I…haven’t talked to Filmix lately, but I’m sure that’s where his head’s at too. That’s not to say we won’t ever team up again, but it’ll be a while down the road before that happens. Besides, with the talent level in PRIME’s tag division, no one’s going to make a mark unless they’re fully dedicated to it.

Mills is practically scowling now. There’s no fire, no drama, no controversy, just this cornfed yokel all but saying he’s “happy to be here.” He loads another question, internally begging Colton to say something interesting.

Matt Mills: You said you want to focus on the singles division for now. Is there anyone out there you’ve got your sights set on?

Nate Colton: Wow, where do you start? Obviously I’ll be watching the Five Star Title match next week, and I’ll be coming after the champion soon enough. But there’s so much talent here; PRIME could put me in the ring with anyone and get one hell of a fight. And that’s why I chose this company out of all the others. It’s like my dad always says, you want to find the place with the best wrestlers in the world, and then prove you belong right there with ‘em.

We see a handsome black man in a teal hoodie cross the camera and scoff.

FLAMBERGE: Your daddy knows what’s best for you, does he?

Nate is taken a bit aback – of course he loves his dad, and why would that be a bad thing?

Nate Colton: Excuse me?

FLAMBERGE: How soon until he tells you to do the thing that you prefer not to do? Then the thing that you’d refuse to do? Then what breaks your MORAL CODE? Tu es geek.

Colton crosses his arms and looks at the man who intruded on his interview. FLAMBERGE, for his part, does not look up at all. Meanwhile, Matt Mills is so excited, he looks like he’s about to do a cartwheel.

Nate Colton: You’ve got an awful lot of opinions about people you’ve never met, friend.

FLAMBERGE: And you say “friend” to me like you have some upper ground, toi idiot. I’m giving you the free advice, take it, leave it, fine. But if you have the PROBLEM…well, that’s another thing, isn’t it.

Nate turns briefly to Matt Mills, who drops his excited grin just in time, and mouths the word “idiot?” Then he turns back to the young hotshot.

Nate Colton: No, you’ve already got a match to worry about. No problem…tonight, anyway.

FLAMBERGE: …okay. Watch. Then keep coming at me.

FLAMBERGE walks down the hall towards the lockers. Matt Mills can’t WAIT to ask something stupid to Colton..

Matt Mills: What are your thoughts on FLAMBERGE openly disrespecting you like that?

Nate Colton, who is still staring at the man who just left the scene, shakes his head.

Nate Colton: I think we’re done here.