ULTRAVIOLENCE NIGHT ONE
9/23/2022 – MGM Grand, Las Vegas
Nick Stuart: COVER!
Richard Parker: DON’T! NOOO! NOT LIKE THIS! PLEASE HOYT NOT LIKE THIS!
There is no life in Julian Bathory right now. Maybe there will be in a few moments. Timo Bolamba, barely conscious, his jaw maybe broken, his face covered in yoljk, sees Cancer Jiles covering Julian Bathory. The smile across the COOLympian’s face would freeze the Devil’s heart.
Cancer Jiles: DO YOUR JOB CRUMB!
He shouldn’t. Timo Bolamba knows he can’t. Not for the soul of PRIME. To let this bastard be its champion?
ONE
But he was a man of his word.
TWO
No matter how damned they were.
THREE
DING DING DING
Haunting guitar notes are plucked by ancient fingers as a raspy, near death, Johnny Cash croons the masterpiece “Hurt”. The image of Cancer Jiles holding the Universal Title fades from the screen, replaced by these words:
9/22-23/2023 – Soldier Field, Chicago
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
A whirlwind blows and drops two equally matched combatants, Chandler Tsonda and Tony Gamble, into a ring. The words “Great American Nightmare ‘06” flash across the screen with both men jostling for the 5-Star Title. The wind returns and morphs to the men in a cage coming together as “Ultraviolence ‘08” flashes. Finally they stand toe to toe, ego to ego as “UltraViolence ‘23” wisps into smoke above them and they disappear together in the wind.
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The Sultan of Skree flies into a dark frame where, awaiting him is the diminutive and colorful Kennade Starr. Rocky tenses for a fight with a smile on his face that vanishes when he sees Mr. Bubbles step out of the shadows. The FDP releases a mighty SKREE! And charges forward.
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
A giant set of pointed wind up teeth chase Morty around in the darkness and as they grow ever closer, he runs toward the final stop of his destiny. Finally, he can run no further and turns, defiantly giving the mechanical jaws “the bird” before they clamp down and swallow him whole.
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Paxton Ray drags a lifeless form into the shot, and before long it is clear that it is Mike Battaglia. He throws the unconscious man at the feet of another, and the camera pans up to see The Anglo Luchador ball his fists to prepare for war.
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
The voices of Nick Stuart and Richard Parker break clearly over the music.
Nick Stuart: Ladies and gentlemen, this match has “all-timer” written all over it! Remember where you were and what you’re doing because this is a moment!
Richard Parker: I can’t believe we’re getting four of the best in the industry in one match!
Vince Howard: IT’S TIIIIIIIME FOR THE MAAAAAAAIN EVENT OF NIGHT OOOOOOOONE!
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
A Kaiju sized lizard made of glue…a Lizue? A Gluzard? We’re going with Gluzard… charges across a crowded cityscape as the camera pans to Jared Sykes and Hayes Hanlon as they do a Fusion Dance. They touch fingers and a bright light envelops the screen, leaving in its wake a mustachioed hero with Jared Sykes’ tear ducts and a posterior so ample that you know he has never, ever, missed squat day. The two forces collide with an intense rumbling and the screen fades to words as the melancholic song continues.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Anna Daniels opens a door and flips on a light switch to a room that has written, everywhere in the room in multiple sizes, colors, and fonts “WHO IS MAX KAEL?” As she bravely steps into the room with a sonic screwdriver at the ready, the forms of Max, U.N. Couth, and Violent Purple rise from the shadows behind her.
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Flashes and images of Timo Bolamba and Dave Gibson fighting one another tooth and nail flicker on the PRIMEtron and the camera spins behind Timo and when it comes to the other side it is Eddie Cross. Both the student and mentor collide and all that is left behind is a tee-shirt from 2007 that is faded with cracked text that says “A Hatred that is Hardcore.”
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
Cancer Jiles holds an eGG carton and opens it revealing Bobby Dean, Doozer, Cardboard Dan Ryan and other eGG bandits past, present, and (God help us) future are within, neatly packaged in each slot. Coral Avalon strides into the frame dressed head to toe in ornate plate mail. He flips down the visor on his helmet and holds Excalibur aloft.
You are someone else
I’m still right here
Nate Colton opens his eyes, and all he can see is pink. His face is bruised, his heart causing him pain in every waking moment. He reaches out a hand, to Skye, to Jenny, even to his Dad. The hand that reaches out for him though is adorned with Pretty Pink nail polish. As the camera follows up to where Jonathan-Christopher Hall is standing next to Vickie, Nate sees himself in Jonathan-Christopher’s eyes.
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
As a tale of the tape of Ivan Stanislav and Brandon Youngblood shows on the screen, the stalwart ring announcers voice over the video.
Nick Stuart: Can you believe this Richard? Two of the most dominant forces in the history of our sport are finally going toe to toe!
Richard Parker: Will the Diamond do it once again or will the world stand in unison with Praporshchik Stanlislav?
Vince Howard: THE FINAL MATCH OF THE EVENING IS FOR THE PRIME UNIVERSAL TITLE!
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
Two men. Two legacies. Divergent Goals. One to reclaim past glory and establish a new reign and the other to cement his place in history as the unquestioned best of the best.
Ivan Stanislav steps forward, proud, dutiful, and ready. Can he defeat Brandon Youngblood, a man who has been a thorn in his side for months?
Brandon Youngblood steps forward, resolute, powerful, and explosive. Can he defeat Ivan Stanislav, a man who has proven time and again why he is the number one contender?
Two men.
Two legacies.
One cage.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way…
With the last ghostly word of the song, these words appear on the screen:
Welcome to UltraViolence 2023.