SO YOU WANT TO FIGHT LIKE ANIMALS
Hot off the heels of the Kerry Kuroyama segment with Simon Tillier, we’re back at the ring in the Little Caesars Arena. A table splits the ring in half, but what is more interesting is the wealth of humanity in the ring. The Queen of the Ring, Lindsay Troy, stands at the head of the table in the upper center of the ring, PRIME Head of Security, Dametreyus, stands next to her while Wade Elliott is at her other side, as well as six Enemigos.
Nick Stuart: Folks, we’re here at ringside…
Richard Parker: I mean they always know that, Nick. We’re always at ringside.
Nick Stuart: It’s just an intro Richard it…
Richard Parker: Yeah but they know it. We’ve been at ringside together for years.
There’s an awkward silence.
Nick Stuart: Anyway. Folks, we’ve got Lindsay Troy, Dam, Wade Elliott, and a gaggle of Enemigos for what my run sheet calls a contract signing for the Universal Title match at UltraViolence!
Richard Parker: I bet they’re all there to protect Brandon Youngblood from Comrade Stanislav!
Nick Stuart: Let’s not forget that Brandon Youngblood left Ivan’s face a bloody mess at ReVival 34!
Richard Parker: I’m pretty sure it was just the lighting.
Nick Stuart: How about you tell that to our Universal Champion?
Richard Parker: Take it away, boss lady!
Lindsay Troy: Folks, we are two weeks away from the second UltraViolence of the ReVival era, and while the main event for the Universal Title has been known for a few weeks now, we have yet to make it official.
She holds up a clipboard, which gets a pop.
Lindsay Troy: You can tell where this is going, so let’s not waste any more time. Ivan, would you please make your way out here?
“The Soviet National Anthem” by the Russian Red Army Choir blares through the arena as the lights shift to crimson. Immediately the crowd turns and begins to boo angrily, and it only grows as Ivan Stanislav emerges from backstage with the rest of The Red Army. Alexei Ruslan, with a positively radioactive scowl on his face, along with the Masters of the Moscowverse Kenny Freeman and Randall Schwartz, walk behind and to the side of Stanislav.
Ivan doesn’t hesitate to jaw at the crowd, wiping sweat from his brow and flicking it at an angry male in the front row. He makes to step onto the apron closest to the entryway, but Dam points at him and motions to the other side of the ring.
Nick Stuart: Looks like Lindsay Troy already wants this done her way!
Stanislav roars and argues with Dam for a moment, before he slowly stomps around the ring with Alexei and the Masters in tow. He bellows angrily at the announce position, but it’s in Russian, so who knows what he’s saying. But he seems annoyed.
Stanislav steps easily up onto the apron and then seamlessly steps over the top rope. Alexei climbs the stairs and climbs in, but when Freeman and Schwartz make to climb into the ring, Wade Elliott, with three Enemigos, instructs them to stay out of the ring. Again, Stanislav jaws at Elliott this time, and then makes a big fuss towards Lindsay Troy, who stares daggers at him.
She says something to Ivan. It’s curt. It’s quiet. But he growls at her and nods to the Masters of the Moscowverse. The duo remain down by the announce table.
Nick Stuart: This is for the best. No reason to have too many people in that ring. Alexei is lucky she didn’t throw him out too!
Richard Parker: Whatever.
Nick Stuart: You know she pays you, right Richard? She’s gonna hear this later.
Richard Parker: And she’s the best boss I ever had. Thanks LT!
Stanislav stomps back and forth on his side of the ring, the canvas flexing and bouncing slightly as steam nearly blasts from his nostrils. Ruslan stands still, but glares daggers towards the entryway.
Lindsay Troy: Champ, whenever you’re ready.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
LET THE GALAXY BURN
From the foot of the stage, the camera takes a wide shot as Bloodsport (World Domination) by HEALTH powers through Little Caesars. Through the blinding blue and white strobing light cutting through the darkness, the figure of Brandon Youngblood surges from the curtain, the Detroit fans going absolutely insane with raucous cheers. The Tower of Babel powerwalks, his eyes trained forward, an oppressive scowl of intensity painting his face as well as subtle reminders of the brutal brawl that took place on the most recent ReVival. Dressed to compete, with a white sleeveless hoodie over his upper body. The diamond Youngblood logo is prominent and center chest. And in his hand?
The PRIME Universal Championship.
As Youngblood makes his way to the ring, Stanislav and Ruslan have a miniature conference (well, as miniature as anything can be with The Russian Bear). They chat with one another energetically in Russian, before standing upright as Youngblood enters the ring.
The Tower of Babel’s shoulders sway with the bravado of his BMF walk, a spotlight lighting his path. The 2022 Wrestler of the Year is quick down the ramp, his gait swinging him around the arena floor, to the ring steps. It’s there we see what hadn’t been evident before; there was text on the back of that hoodie. What did it say?
BEAT CANCER
RAN THE MARATHON
CROSSED THE EVENT HORIZON
SONNED THE SHOGUN
PAID THE TAB
There is no slowdown as his feet pound the steel, stepping between the ropes and exploding upright. There is no mind paid to anyone but his future opponent. Once inside, he begins pacing around the outside perimeter of the ring, brushing at his mouth, the Universal Championship swaying with his every movement.
Stanislav roars angrily over at Youngblood. He points. He bellows. He gesticulates. All the while, behind him, Ruslan does the same, stomping his foot and pointing animatedly at The Tower of Babel. He even puts up his dukes as if to fight Youngblood, safely in the shadow of The Russian Bear and with the table between them. And as they do? The Diamond paces, his eyes wide, his nostrils flaring.
Lindsay Troy: Before we get down to brass tacks, I’m gonna need all of you to keep your hands to yourselves while we go through the exercise of signing our names on dotted lines. That goes for you two (she glares at the Masters) and also you and whatever paraphernalia you’ve got in that big ass coat of yours, Alexei.
Alexei is beside himself as he screams back at the Queen. Ivan isn’t thrilled either.
Lindsay Troy: Now. Let’s see how well my Universal Champ and my #1 Contender can follow directions, because two weeks ago was a shitshow and I’m not really of a mind to have a repeat of it tonight.
She levels Ivan with a cold glare.
Lindsay Troy: You don’t like Youngblood because you find him to be pompous and arrogant…
Then, she turns to face Brandon.
Lindsay Troy: You don’t like Stanislav because, while he views you as pompous and arrogant, you think the same of him…but with a side helping of nationalism for flavor.
Then, her glances move between the two prowling combatants.
Lindsay Troy: You both don’t like each other and that bad blood’s been going on for about a year now. You’re gonna get the chance to settle some things in Chicago…but as everyone saw last week…neither of you is capable of doing it within the confines of a standard sanctioned match. Now, I could threaten you both with massive fines. I could shame you for not being able to be professional athletes.
A climbing buzz fills the Little Caesar’s Arena. They know where this is going.
Lindsay Troy: But I don’t think either of you would be cool with that. I…most certainly…would not be cool with that. And most importantly…the fans wouldn’t be cool with that. So here is what we’re going to do; over a year ago, two men faced off at the Great American Nightmare with the opportunity to compete for the Universal Championship at last year’s UltraViolence. And after thirty minutes of brutality, it ended in a draw. Things escalated. Shocks occurred. What it cost PRIME was Phil Atken…who is still in a wheelchair. It broke the lineage of the Universal Championship. Those two men…Cancer Jiles…Julian Bathory…I made them pay our way into Madison Square Garden for Colossus. But you both know that wasn’t the only thing they had to pay. They wanted to fight like animals…so I gave them a place to be animals.
That buzz is at a fever pitch.
Lindsay Troy: The most brutal match of the ReVival. The most savage. The most violent. And to be honest…those two men didn’t hate each other as much as you both hate each other. So…like I did to them…you want to be animals? Then you will fight like animals. UltraViolence. Night Two. Universal Championship Match. No time limits. No escape. Pinfall or submission only. Ivan Stanislav. Brandon Youngblood.
A slight pause, a sinister smirk from the Queen.
Lindsay Troy: The UltraViolence Cage.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
The fans in Detroit come unglued. In the face of such a threat, this should cause the two men to give pause. To rethink their choices.
Do you think this really happened?
Stanislav nearly snatches the contract out of Troy’s hands. He grins to himself as he, and Alexei, both look at the contract together, reading the language. Ultimately, Ruslan produces a red pen (because of course he would), and Stanislav signs the contract on his comrade’s back, in pure proletarian fashion. Then, Stanislav slams the contract on the table and spins it around to face Youngblood. Ivan’s toothy grin couldn’t possibly grow wider as he looms over the table. He barks loud enough that his voice is picked up.
Ivan Stanislav: Sign away that title, dog!
That statement is enough to make him pause. The Tower of Babel snarls. With a passing glare at Lindsay Troy, he grabs the clipboard, the pen flying to the canvas in the process. In his paces, he reaches down for it quickly. However…
Lindsay Troy: And I just want to make this clear, to the both of you. I had to call in some favors, but I wanted to make sure there would be no wiggle room. No way to get away. Ivan, you fought in a Hell in a Cell at Culture Shock for the Universal Championship, and all I’ve had to hear about is the ‘poor quality of American steel.’ I’m not having a repeat of that talking point. This cage? It’s made strictly of Russian steel.
Stanislav blinks. It doesn’t happen often, but he’s stunned. He looks back at Ruslan, who looks back at Ivan, who looks at Lindsay Troy, and then over at Youngblood. With froth nearly pouring out of The Russian Bear’s mouth, he lets out a stream of spit and sound.
Ivan Stanislav: DYAAHAAHAA!! DYAAHAAHAA!!
Lindsay Troy: You got a problem with that Brandon? Because if you do…
There is NO hesitation. He has already signed, snapping the clipboard back in front of her before tossing the pen into the crowd. Stanislav is known for his trademark laugh. It’s all the more shocking when something akin to it bellows from the maw of the Universal Champion.
Brandon Youngblood: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Drool flies from the Diamond as, in the very next moment, he launches the Universal Championship belt into the face of Ivan Stanislav as hard as he can, the table getting shoved away immediately after. The faceplate blasts into the bridge of Ivan’s nose, and as Lindsay Troy makes way, Brandon launches forward, throwing sharp elbows in his direction.
Nick Stuart: THEY’RE GONNA GET IT ON RIGHT HERE BEFORE THE MAIN EVENT!
Alexei grabs at the hoodie, pulling Youngblood just enough to get his attention. Ivan is incensed, but he’s on a knee, and each time he tries to get up, he stumbles in blindness. Alexei screams at Brandon as he tries to buy The Praporshchik time.
All it does is give Youngblood a chance to smack the absolute dogshit out of him with a hellacious open handed slap. And in the wake of it?
Dropped on top of his head with a half nelson suplex.
Richard Parker: HOLY–
Nick Stuart: –STANISLAV!
Ivan doesn’t just hip check the Universal Champion; he launches into him with his whole mass, sending Youngblood awkwardly flying onto his neck and shoulders. The blow looks savage, and while the Champion is quick to try and make it seem like it didn’t hurt him, the vertigo from the shot causes him to plant onto the ground, scurrying to his feet. Stanislav is ready to charge forward to continue the assault, but as he does, Brandon explodes back to his feet.
The fight is on!
Detroit is going crazy!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Security, Enemigos, Dam, Wade, the Detroit Police, Omni Consumer Products, hell, probably fucking Robocop…they are in that ring and tackling these two and stopping this insanity from going any further, pulling them apart, building barriers of flesh to ensure this doesn’t cascade into insanity like the prior ReVival.
Lindsay Troy: Save something for the main event!
Those fans are still booing.
Nick Stuart: Can these…can these two even occupy the same space and not want to destroy each other?
Richard Parker: The real question is…how much you think we all stand to make from these two beating the absolute piss out of each other? Because in this situation…you’re either in it for the title, for the fight, or the money. And you and me? We’re lovers, not fighters.
Nick Stuart: Ummm…
Richard Parker: Red is going to turn to lots of green, Nick. Lots and lots of green.
And as we seem to have a slight thaw from the intensity, we go elsewhere.