UNIVERSAL TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH: ANNA DANIELS vs. JULIAN BATHORY vs. IMPULSE vs. TEDDY PALMER

“(Let’s get it.)
Said he wanna go outside and to chop it up,
I’m like ‘cough it up, bruh, is it not enough?’”

The Garden rises to their feet, bouncing along with “Leave me Lonely” by the Hilltop Hoods. Teddy Palmer emerges to bounce with them, determined in his march to the ring, but pumping a fist and pointing out to the fans.

Vince Howard: Our next contest is scheduled for one fall, and will establish the number one contender for the Universal Championship! Introducing first, out of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, standing six feet, one inch tall and weighing in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds…TEDDY! PAAALMMEERR!!

Nick Stuart: You heard the man! It’s time to name the number one contender for the Universal Title! And Teddy Palmer is the first out to stake his claim!

Richard Parker: His jaw looks funny, a little crooked after Jiles put him to sleep?

Teddy reaches the floor, but before he can enter the ring, the music shifts to the spooky sounds of “A Darkness in my Soul,” by A Solid Space. Palmer turns his head to see The Time Lord, eerily already standing at the top of the ramp.

Vince Howard: Next, from Mount Perdition, Gallifrey, standing five feet, seven inches tall and weighing in at one-hundred and thirty-seven pounds…The Muse…ANNA! DAANNIELLSS!!

“Into the wild.
Thoughts of an,
unearthly child.”

Palmer smirks as Anna strolls down the ramp, the fans in The Garden continuing their rolling applause. Teddy slides in as Daniels approaches, passing off her robe and headpiece.

Nick Stuart: The Muse took a hard loss to Palmer at ReVival 4, and you can bet that she’ll be looking to even the score here at Culture Shock!

Richard Parker: Nick.

Nick Stuart: …yes?

Richard Parker: She’s SO weird.

She slides in, eyeballing Teddy, until the music makes its next shift; 

The Enigma TNG.

“Shadow.”

Nick Stuart: Speaking of weirdos.

From one creepy song to another, The Prince of Tears emerges alongside Bruce “Violence Jack” Shanahan. The roars of the MGM Garden transition fromr cheers to heavy boos as the two take their time on their way down the ramp.

Vince Howard: On his way to the ring, accompanied by Violence Jack, hailing from Szeged, Hungary, standing six feet, one inch and weighing two-hundred and twenty-six pounds…The New World Savior…JULIAN! BAAAATHORYYY!!”

Nick Stuart: ReVival 4 also didn’t go quite as planned for Julian Bathory, taking a hard loss to Impulse and missing the opportunity to advance in the Almasy Invitational.

Richard Parker: Maybe, but make no mistake, a loss in the Almasy Tournament isn’t going to stop a guy like Julian Bathory. MESSIAH is here, and PRIME has to deal with it.

The two faces of MESSIAH pay little mind to Daniels and Palmer, instead electing to wait outside by the steps. 

“Hey heyyyyy!!!!
Hey heyyyyy!!!!”

And like a lightswitch, “Cannonball” by SIRSY cuts through the spectral tunes of The Enigma TNG, and the crowd turns back to heavy cheers. Impulse and Cally emerge, a determined grin on Impulse’s face to balance Cally’s cheerful smile.

Nick Stuart: And there’s the man who beat him!

Vince Howard: And finally, accompanied by Calico Rose, hailing from New York, New York! Standing five-feet, ten inches and weighing in at one-hundred and ninety-one pounds…The Marathon Man…IIIIIMPUUUULLSEEE!!!!

Nick Stuart: The Marathon Man successfully took out The Carpathian Devil, taking it all the way to the semi-finals at ReVival 5, where he nearly toppled the Tower of Babel, Brandon Youngblood. 

Richard Parker: I won’t lie, I’m impressed the little guy could take Youngblood to the twelfth round. Let’s see if that engine of his can keep up with three opponents.

The pair march their way to the floor, Impulse keeping an eye on Bathory and Shanahan. Cally eventually breaks off to ham it up with some fans. The Marathon Man starts to remove his leather jacket, and is instantly bull-rushed by the MESSIAH duo, Shanahan throwing a knee into his stomach to double him over before pulling his leather jacket over his head like a hockey fight, Bathory coming in throwing hard forearms to his back. Referee Elvis Nixon takes a deep breath, and calls for the bell.

DING DING

Nick Stuart: The battle for Next in Line starts now!

In the ring, Anna Daniels moves on Palmer quickly, backing him up with a series of kicks and strikes. Palmer goes on the defense, backing into the corner. Outside, Impulse weathers the storm. Cally breaks from the fans and runs in, jumping onto the back of Violence Jack.

Richard Parker: NOT smart, little girl!

Shanahan reaches behind looking to find a wrist to remove her. She jumps off, backpedaling as VJ stomps toward her, roaring in her face. She holds up her hands in defense, which is enough for Jack, who glares and turns away, marching back to finish his work with Impulse. Instead, he finds his face hitting the floor as Cally baseball slides from behind to trip him up.

Nick Stuart: You were saying?

She throws the crowd a wink before finding her place on the opposite end. Meanwhile, Impulse worms his way out of his jacket, diving under the ropes and into the ring, forcing Bathory to give chase. The Time Lord continues to barrage Palmer with strikes from hands and feet, while Bathory ties up with Impulse, overpowering him and throwing him into the opposite turnbuckle.

Richard Parker: Everyone in! Let’s make a mess!

Across the ring, Teddy is able to push past the fists of Daniels to throw a hard shoulder into her face, forcing her back. He follows up with a hard elbow, and another, but before can deliver a third The Time Lord puts a boot in his gut with a stiff side kick. In the opposite corner, Bathory drives repeated knees into the torso of Impulse before pulling him toward center and snapmaring him to the ground. The Prince of Tears drops down, gripping Impulse in headlock, wrenching him left and right. 

Nick Stuart: Teddy and Anna keeping each other occupied while Bathory takes it to Impulse, but – oh my!

Richard Parker: Incoming!

Teddy Palmer comes flying out of nowhere, crashing into the back of the Carpathian Devil thanks to a whip from Daniels, Bathory losing his grip on Impulse. Bathory scrambles to his feet, only to find The Time Lord bolting forward with a leaping lariat into the ropes, sending him over the top, but before she can turn back to the ring she finds herself wrapped up by Palmer, who heaves backwards and lets go, sending her crashing to her back.

Nick Stuart: Release German suplex! Palmer with the cover! One! Tw…and broken up by Impulse!

The Marathon Man stops the count with a baseball slide to Teddy’s noggin. Impulse barrels forward with a forearm to Teddy’s face, but Palmer retaliates with a stiff European uppercut. Impulse reels, but keeps his composure as Teddy advances, catching him with an armdrag.

Nick Stuart: Takedown from Impulse, and he’s got the armbar!

Richard Parker: Early tapout, let’s GO!

Teddy squirms to break free, reaching back for the ropes to no avail. He scoots his hips, but Impulse keeps the hold locked in. Anna Daniels has recovered, climbing to a knee and looking to break up the hold, but eats canvas as Violence Jack grabs her by the feet for the trip up.

Nick Stuart: Shanahan sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong! Again! 

Richard Parker: But it made room for Bathory!

The Prince of Tears slides in quickly, a sliding dropkick breaking up the hold. Impulse back-rolls out, leaving Palmer to clutch his elbow, and pops to his feet, falling back against the ropes to rebound back.

Nick Stuart: Impulse off the ropes, on the rebound, and eats a leg lariat from Bathory!

The New World Savior drags The Marathon Man to his feet, delivering a few closed-fist shots to the side of his head.

Nick Stuart: Impulse in trouble, Bathory’s feeding him the right hand…fisherman’s snap swinging neckbreaker! Tell em’ what it’s called, Richard!

Richard Parker: I couldn’t pronounce it at ReVival 4, and I can’t pronounce it now.

Nick Stuart: Worth a shot. Ode to Azazoth! Bathory with the pin! Elvis with the count!

ONE 

TWO…

Richard Parker: Teddy breaks up the fun!

Indeed, Palmer breaks up the pin with a diving clobber to Bathory’s back. He’s back to his feet, energized and ready for all three to stand up. Anna’s first, squaring up just in time to meet the side of Teddy’s boot.

Nick Stuart: Enziguri from Palmer!

Richard Parker: That one sent Strange Girl back to her home planet!

Teddy kips up, the crowd building. Impulse is next, and Teddy is on him quick, scooping him up with a flip and dropping The Marathon Man’s back across his knee.

Nick Stuart: Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker! Teddy is rolling!

Richard Parker: Probably on LSD!

Palmer grins viciously, hands on his knees as he waits for Bathory to rise. He steps forward, throwing Bathory’s arm over his shoulder, hoists him up, and spikes him down over the back.

Nick Stuart: EXPLODER SUPLEX! TEDDY PALMER WITH A BIG VOLLEY!

Teddy beats a fist against his chest, roaring out with the bellowing crowd. Getting back on task, he turns to Bathory.

Nick Stuart: Teddy with a clear lane, looking for the pin on Batho…ANNA DANIELS WITH THE SCHOOL BOY!

ONE!

TWO!

THR…Kickout!

Richard Parker: Buddy-Boy Palmer better pay a little more attention!

Teddy back-rolls to his feet, but Anna is quicker, looping an arm around his neck and twisting before dropping him to the mat with a neckbreaker. She pops up strides to a corner while Palmer rolls from his back to his stomach. She waits a moment as he gets to all fours, then runs forward to strike.

Nick Stuart: BIG punt to the head from The Muse!!

Richard Parker: Man, she really likes punting people…

Teddy goes stiff for a moment before flopping onto his back. Anna turns to pin, but a standing dropkick from Impulse sends her backward over the ropes and to the outside. The crowd roaring, Impulse takes a moment to compose, turning 180…

…to find the now-standing Carpathian Devil across from him.

Richard Parker: Ohhh man, NOW Julian gets his chance for a little revenge!

Nick Stuart: Their match at ReVival 4 was hard fought, no doubt Julian’s been itching for a little payback!

The two circle a moment before meeting in the middle for the lock-up. A test of strength is quickly interrupted with a knee to the gut from Bathory, followed by an elbow to the back.

Nick Stuart: Bathory with the upper hand, driving elbows in the back of The Marathon Man. HARD whip off the ropes, Impulse on the return…STUN GUN FROM BATHORY!

Impulse’s face bounces hard off the top rope, sending him back and maintaining his footing, but stepping back into the waiting arms of The Carpathian Devil, slinging The Marathon Man’s right arm across the neck and scooping him up by the knee with the other arm.

Nick Stuart: Impulse wrapped up, big lift from Bathory…and a cut-throat Saito suplex flattens Impulse!

Richard Parker: Crushed him like a bug!

Impulse flops backward to his stomach, down for the count. The Prince of Tears pivots to his feet, reaching to roll his opponent to his back.

Nick Stuart: Bathory with the opportunity, looking for the pin..

Richard Parker: LOOK OUT FOR STRANGE GIRL!

Julian looks upward at the last moment to see The Time Lord leaping down on him with a pair of legs around the neck, twisting and flipping him onto his head with a dull thud.

Nick Stuart: ANNA DANIELS OFF THE TOP ROPE! SPIKE HURRICANRANA! THE TIME LORD BACK IN THE GAME!

Bathory flips over after the top of his head eats canvas, dazed and flopping forward into a seated position. Anna acts quickly, wrapping an arm across his face from behind and dragging him upward before twisting and dropping back to the mat with a reverse neckbreaker.

Nick Stuart: Sombras Que Corta!! Anna with the pin!

ONE!!

TWO!!

Richard Parker: Violence Jack saves the day!!

Nick Stuart: AGAIN! Get this man OUT of the arena!!

Shanahan is there ringside, wrenching and sliding Bathory by the feet to escape the pin. He tends to Bathory, barking orders while Julian shakes the cobwebs, but he doesn’t have long.

Nick Stuart: BUT ANNA DANIELS ISN’T DONE YET!

The Muse springboards off the ropes with a 360 turn, catching The New World Savior around the neck, and with another rotation she plants him to the floor with a hard DDT.

Nick Stuart: 720 DDT! Anna Daniels is TAKING it to The Prince of Tears!

Richard Parker: She has a death wish if she thinks she can take on MESSIAH!

Shanahan, outraged, drives a boot into Anna’s ribs, toppling her over. He keeps laying the boots to her while Julian stirs to his hands and knees. Groggily he gets to his feet, and seeing Shanahan handling Daniels, opts to clamber back into the ring.

Nick Stuart: Bathory leaving the dirty business to his mentor, looks like he’s going after the downed Palmer or Impulse…

Richard Parker: IMPULSE ISN’T DOWN!!

Barreling from across the ring, The Marathon Man absolutely clobbers Bathory with a leaping clothesline, sending him back over the ropes, Impulse flying over the top with him. Both bodies rag-doll to the floor, landing on top of the unexpecting Violence Jack and adding to the pile of bodies.

Richard Parker: What a mess! I thought Impulse liked to keep things inside the ring!

Nick Stuart: It’s a four-way, Richard! You never know what’ll happen!

Richard Parker: You’re telling me! Usually you gotta pay extra for that kinda thing, especially in Vegas!

The four bodies outside use the ring apron and security wall for assistance, fighting to their feet. An enraged Violence Jack picks out Impulse, feeding him right hands. Bathory takes out his frustration on Daniels with a few hard boots. Meanwhile, Teddy Palmer is regaining consciousness after the punt from the Time Lord.

Nick Stuart: Teddy Palmer stirring in the ring, he’s not out yet!

Richard Parker: Oh, look who’s up from his nap! If he’s smart he’ll stay-put and let the rest sort themselves out!

No Richard. Not today.

Shaking the jelly out of his legs, Palmer sees the chaos outside of the ring. Wait it out? Or go for glory?

Stupid question.

He charges forward and leaps over the ropes, arms outstretched as he collides with the brawl outside.

Nick Stuart: AND TEDDY PALMER BACK IN THE FIGHT WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!

The MGM is bellowing into the rafters, Palmer laying across the bodies of his competitors (plus Violence Jack.) With the shake of the head he’s first to his feet, adrenaline pumping and taking hold of Anna Daniels, rolling her back into the ring and following behind. He drags her to her feet, throwing a hip into the side of her head, another, then pushes her off the ropes, scooping her up on the return and dropping her with a sidewalk slam.

Nick Stuart: Teddy’s found the energy, taking advantage of Impulse and Bathory down on the outside! He needs to capitalize right now!

Leading her to a standing position once more, Teddy takes hold of her wrist, pushing her away and pulling back with the ripcord, burying a knee in her stomach, dropping her to the mat on all fours. The volume rises in the arena.

Nick Stuart: TEDDY LOOKING FOR THE NOSEBLEED SECTION!

Richard Parker: Face to freakin’ canvas! 

A light bounce off the ropes and Teddy rebounds, looking for the curb stomp. 

Nick Stuart: Impulse back in the ring!

Diving under the ropes and popping to his feet, The Marathon Man intercepts Palmer, swiftly flushing him across the back and slamming him into the mat.

Nick Stuart: SAMOAN DROP! 

Richard Parker: And now he’s headed up top!

The endurance of Impulse on full display, he pops up and heads for the ring post, ascending quickly to the top. Meanwhile, Anna Daniels drags herself toward a corner nearby, using the ropes for assistance. Cameras flash as Impulse balances and leaps into a graceful gainer, rotating and connecting a clean leg drop across Palmer’s face and neck.

Nick Stuart: Shooting Star Press connects! Impulse for the pin!

Impulse drapes his back across Teddy’s chest and hooks the leg.

ONE!

TWO…

Nick Stuart: AND NOW ANNA DANIELS OFF THE TOP! 

In a picture perfect gainer of her own, The Time Lord adds a corkscrew, breaking up the count with a Shooting Star Press of her own, taking the air out of Impulse as she lands a leg across his abdomen, and further compressing the body of Teddy Palmer.

Richard Parker: HOLY HELL!

Nick Stuart: CAKE OR DEATH FROM THE MUSE!! THE NEXT SHOT AT THE UNIVERSAL TITLE WON’T BE WON EASILY!

Richard Parker: But here comes Bathory to take advantage!

The roars of the crowd shift to heavy boos as The New World Savior climbs into the ring amidst his breathless opponents. Anna, woozy but the freshest of the trio, becomes his next target. Bathory, having had enough of this mess, doubles The Time Lord over and hooks an arm over her head, hoisting her with a single arm lift and bringing her down across his knees with a chest-buster.

Nick Stuart: Verzik Angyal from The Prince of Tears!

Richard Parker: Can this guy even pretend to try to name moves we can pronounce?

Anna falls to her back, and Bathory covers.

ONE!

TWO!

TH…

Nick Stuart: IMPULSE BREAKING THE COUNT!

The Marathon Man makes a last ditch effort and dives, driving his forearms into Julian’s shoulder to force the break. Violence Jack barks from the sidelines at referee Elvis Nixon, then instructs Bathory toward Impulse. The New World Savior stalks Impulse as he continues to gather himself. However, Bathory hunches over to draw Impulse over his shoulders, hooks a leg, and swings him to the canvas, planting him squarely on his back. 

Nick Stuart: And a Carpathian Death Song on Impulse!!

Richard Parker: That one’s easier, and that HAS to be it!

Bathory is quick to pin, gritting his teeth. Elvis drops for the count.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE…

Nick Stuart: AND NOW PALMER WITH THE BREAK UP!!

Teddy, with his last ounces of life, dives forward and pounds Bathory’s back with a double ax handle, breaking another count from The Prince of Tears. Palmer lies on his stomach after breaking the pin, body heaving to find air.

Richard Parker: You gotta be kidding me!!

Nick Stuart: Bathory can’t believe it!

Bathory fumes through snarling teeth, and violently rips Teddy from the ground, locking him up in a cobra clutch and wrenching him overhead, letting him fly with a release suplex.

Nick Stuart: And The Last Resort made famous by Violence Jack to make it three…ANNA DANIELS WITH THE EYE GOUGE!

Bathory reels from the sudden leap from the mat by the Time Lord, clutching his eye after she shoves her thumb in it, but is able to block a follow-up right from The Muse, wrapping an arm around her neck, bending her backwards, and violently twisting her to the mat with a swinging reverse STO. 

Nick Stuart: CHAOS REIGNS!!! BATHORY IS ON A RAM…

Richard Parker: ..OH!!! BATHORY EATS BOOT!!

Nick Stuart: SUDDEN IMPACT FROM IMPULSE!!

The Garden Arena roars as The Carpathian Devil’s body stiffens from the impact of Randall Knox’s boot, falling like a tree to the mat. Shanahan spews from the mouth at Elvis Nixon, trying to divert his attention, but the veteran referee stays focused. Impulse fights to stay on his feet, turns, and sees Palmer pushing himself to a standing position. The Marathon Man shakes his head, takes a big breath, and kicks high.

Nick Stuart: AND ANOTHER SUDDEN IMPACT ON PALMER!

Teddy falls to the mat like a sack of potatoes after the swat across his jaw. The MGM bellows as Impulse steps over, drops down, and hooks the leg.

Richard Parker: HERE IT IS!!

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

“Hey heyyyyy!!!!
Hey heyyyyy!!!”

Vince Howard: Your WINNER! And NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP…IIIIIMPUUUULLLSEEE!!

Violence Jack continues to rage as “Cannonball” returns to the speakers. Impulse props himself up on his knees with a smile on his face. Cally dives into the ring, wrapping herself around his back while the arena rumbles for The Marathon Man.

Nick Stuart: And right after taking the loss from Brandon Youngblood at ReVival 5, Impulse STILL GETS HIS SHOT!! HE IS YOUR NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!

Richard Parker: And if The Tower of Babel is holding the strap at the end of tonight, that’s a re-match we ALL deserve!

Nick Stuart: Hang on tight!! Next up: Cecilia Ryan! Shawn Warstein! Hayes Hanlon! Jonathan-Christopher Hall! Rezin! And the FIVE! STAR! CHAMPIONSHIP!

Richard Parker: Here! At Culture Shock!

Nick Stuart: On the ACE Network!

Surrounded by fallen competitors and embraced by Calico Rose, The Marathon Man holds a triumphant fist up high before we cut to commercial.