“VIA SATELLITE” IS PASSE NOW
Backstage.
The hulking Kaiju known as Mushigihara lumbers his way through the Toyota Center; not dressed for battle, but definitely there for business.
Mushigihara: Hey, has anyone seen Eddie Cross lately?
The wayward staffers he asks merely shake their heads and shrug, leading the monster to sigh and deliberately rush away from them, growling with each step. He sees Darin Zion in the hallway looking at himself in a mirror.
Darin Zion: Tough Love. Tough Love.
Mushigihara: Hey Zion, have you seen Eddie Cross tonight?
Zion shakes his head and goes back to reciting his mantra in the mirror. Mushi continues down the hall and sees a new, but popular face, Abe Lipschitz. He walks up to Abe and his Black Metal friends and nods to them all.
Mushigihara: Abe, you haven’t run into Eddie Cross tonight have you?
Abe Lipschitz: Sorry, Mushi, haven’t seen him. Good luck finding him though!
The Kaiju trundles down the hall and he sees someone who definitely would know if Eddie is here or not, Timo Bolamba’s BFF, The Anglo Luchador.
Mushigihara: Hey Tom, I was wondering if you have seen…
Tom holds up a finger and points at an earbud.
TAL: That’s right, 3000 urinal cakes. One of each. I know, but I have a high credit limit! OK. Thanks, bye! Okay, what’s up Mushi?
Mushigihara: I have been looking for Eddie Cross and hoped you might know where he is?
TAL: I haven’t seen him, big man. Timo didn’t say anything to me either. Maybe he is in one of the dressing rooms?
Mushigihara: Hey, that’s a good idea, thanks Tom!
As Mushi rounds the corner and opens a door to the nearest dressing room, he feels a familiar vibration in his pocket. He pulls his phone out and sees that there is a request for a video stream on the screen. Curiously, he slides the accept button and waiting for him is none other than Eddie Cross.
Eddie Cross: Mushi, real quick, look at the TV on the wall and cast this up so you and I can talk face to face.
Mushigihara: Casting? What, “via satellite” technology’s passé now?
Mushi obliges and quickly Eddie is displayed on the big screen. It is clear that this is Eddie’s personal gaming stream as the users in chat are commenting as well.
Rossian: I’m on TV!
SPRmario: Itsame!
boxCAR: bro!
Mushigihara: Hey Eddie, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I was hoping we could clear the air.
Eddie laughs.
Eddie Cross: Clear the air? I guess we can do that. I’ll start: I don’t like you. You walk around backstage acting like everyone should fear you because you’re so big. You got a title shot simply because there was nobody left to challenge for the belts and when you got the shot, even you didn’t think you deserved it. You drove your partner out of the business, and you’re constantly dismissing me as a “gamer” when I am a wrestler first. I have lived and breathed this business since the day I turned 18. You just found your way into it because of your prodigal size and a partner that could carry you. Now you have to do it all on your own, and I don’t think you can.
@lejandro: SICK BURN.
boxCAR: Ouch.
SPRmario: Herewego!
Mushi seethes as he listens to Eddie speak his piece.
Eddie Cross: I try to sell some tickets and make a little noise and your first instinct is to attack me? Well I have news for you, so called “God Beast,” the only God you represent is Hypnos the Greek God of sleep because that’s all I see in the crowd whenever you open your mouth or go out there for a match. You’re an under-performing, bathroom break-inducing teammate anchor and I tried to get a little hype for you, to make you interesting again… and the first thing you do is try to pummel me to shut me up. Face it Mushi, I’m the best thing to happen to you since the first round of Tag Team Survivor.
boxCAR: I’m DEAD!
AlphaSIMP: ROFLCOPTER. Nailed it.
Rossian: n1ghtcraw1er with fire!
Mushigihara: Well maybe I’m not the most exciting wrestler on the block, but at least I settle my affairs face-to-face, like a professional. You’re at home trying to talk trash behind a webcam and a monitor, because you know the second someone starts swingin’ you’d get destroyed.
The Kaiju smiles and nods.
Mushigihara: Unless you wanna step in the ring and prove me wrong, that is.
Eddie laughs deep from his belly.
Eddie Cross: Oh wait… you thought… OMFG that’s literally hilarious. Now why in the world would I want to do that, Mushi? Even though my losses came against top tier competition, you couldn’t get past the first round of the Alias title tournament.
Mushigihara: Then back up those words, Cross. Step in the ring with me, you bootleg Jake Paul shitstirrer! Shut me down, if you’re so damn good! Get out from behind the webcam, stop talking shit, and FIGHT!
Eddie rolls his eyes.
Eddie Cross: FYI, Jake Paul is the most popular boxer in the world right now, dipshit. But, no, I don’t think that will be happening, Mushi.
Voice: Think again, hot shot.
Mushi turns and reveals the owner of the voice, none other than Lindsay Troy herself!
Lindsay Troy: You’ve got a real bad habit of running your mouth and failing to back it up, Eddie, and that’s not the kind of thing we look too favorably on at TCS. So why don’t we see if you’ve actually learned anything in your time with Viv, hm? ReVival 25, you vs. Mushi. And it’d be in the loser’s best interest to acknowledge the winner.
RAAAAAAAAAH!!
Rossian: Gettin’ served by the Queen!
AlphaSIMP: Bow Down!
SPRMario: UH-OH!
Lindsay glares at Eddie’s gamer friends on the screen. Eddie is visibly perturbed by the Queen’s announcement, but Mushigihara simply smiles.
Mushigihara: Looks like we have a date in San Anton, Cross. See ya there.
The Kaiju leans into the monitor, before pushing forward with a bellowing…
Mushigihara: OSU!!!
Lindsay Troy: Henry… indoor voice, please?
Mushi simply shrugs and mumbles “sorry,” as Lindsay departs. Eddie rolls his eyes indignantly as he disconnects the call. The Kaiju stomps away, shaking his fists triumphantly.