It’s been a while since we’ve seen the FLAMBOrghini. My god, is it gaudy.
After all the damage done by Nate Colton’s mass of nickels, after all the times we’ve seen the French kid brewing all the venom in the world for his opponent tonight these last weeks and months, a renegade cameraman has decided to make a name for himself by trying to recapture FLAMBERGE in the old familiar environs of Summer 2022 – alone, wearing some absurd outfit (today, a ridiculous bronze and teal suit with orange plastic sunglasses), wheeling in a travel suitcase away from his sports car in a parking lot.
FLAMBO, for his part, doesn’t see the camera at first as he’s staring angrily at his phone.
FLAMBERGE: Je n’ai pas le temps de te répondre connard.
He pockets his phone and starts making his way into the belly of the arena, when sure enough, the shaky bouncing framing we’re seeing on screen now tells us that this renegade cameraman has decided to jog up to have a chat.
FLAMBERGE: What is this TMZ bullshit? Todd, what are you doing?
The cameraman doesn’t speak (one imagines the mountain of legal red tape one must untangle to be allowed to speak on camera as PRIME tech crew). FLAMBO’s walking pace is a bit quick, but the cameraman is doing an OK job speed walking alongside.
FLAMBERGE: You want to get the scoop, no? The final fighting words the FLAMBERGE has for the Gluechador before the big match? Well listen here – come on, keep up!
FLAMBO isn’t breaking his stride for a second, even as the camera nearly gets dropped to the concrete after the cameraman trips. He’s ok and the camera is ok – we’re now back to being fixated on just the wildest hair on the roster.
FLAMBERGE: I don’t have a single fucking word more to say to Anglue. Instead, this goes out to the rest of the PRIME locker room, and you cretins can listen or not listen, I do not give the single good god damn. Tonight’s main event is un PUTAIN DE COUP DE SEMONCE.
We presume he’s locking eyes with the camera lens now, though he’s declined to lower his cheap shades to prove it.
FLAMBERGE: …the sheer litreage of the glue I must create at the Culture Shock…mon dieu…
He hesitates for a moment, then collects himself and storms off too quickly for the cameraman to keep up. We hear a sigh from behind the lens.
And we shift scenes.