WINNER ENTERS CULTURE SHOCK BATTLE ROYAL THIRD TO LAST: TYLER ADRIAN BEST VS. THE ANGLO LUCHADOR
Richard Parker: Did you get the promotional material for this one, Nick?
Nick Stuart: You mean The Anglo Luchador giving the camera the finger?
Richard Parker: YEP!
The arena darkens. The first dabs of the organ intro to “Oye Como Va” by Santana fill the arena as purple and green lights strobe while the telltale mask of the Anglo Luchador rotates on the PRIMEview behind.
Nick Stuart: The former Intense Champion, the champion of the year last year, still looks awkward to see him without that title over his shoulder.
Vince Howard: Coming down the aisle first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he stands six-feet, and weighs in at two-hundred and eleven pounds… He is the Son of Shogun, the Paladin of PRIME… THE ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNGLO LUUUUUUUUCHADOR!
Smoke begins to waft across the entryway as the instrumental beginning of the song swells into its big climax. Right before the lyrics sound, The Anglo Luchador appears from the back, looking out at the crowd. He exhales and bows his head before he takes his final stride towards the ring.
Richard Parker: This is the kid I want to see again.
Nick Stuart: He wasn’t a big enough jerkoff last time?
The lights in the arena dim, as “T A B” flashes across the screen in bright gold letters. The letters suddenly begin to drip 97Red, as “People I Don’t Like” begins to blast over the sound system. Tyler Adrian Best steps out from behind the curtain, slowly making his way out onto the stage and staring out into the sea of fans.
Vince Howard: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois…
Vince Howard: He stands five-feet, eleven inches tall, and weighs in at one-hundred and eighty two pounds… TYYYYYYLER ADRIAN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!
Richard Parker: Last time he showed Eddie Cross who the real generational talent was, and now he’s going to take it to The Anglo Luchador.
TAB gestures to the crowd as he saunters down the ramp, he rolls under the ropes and getting up to his feet once he’s in the ring.Tyler goes up onto the turnbuckle, appealing to the Houston crowd.
Nick Stuart: Probably not the smartest idea…
Richard Parker: These people should love him!
Nick Stuart: You do realize that’s Lee Best’s grandson right…
Elvis Nixon finishes checking both men, before turning towards the timekeeper and calling for the bell.
Richard Parker: Of course I knew that Nick, I’m just not going to hold his heritage against him. Hoyt says the sins of the father…
Nick Stuart: Someone, please, hit me with a bat.
TAB and TAL are quick to start, both storm to the center of the ring for a lock up. TAL manages to reverse from the collar and elbow into a hammerlock. TAB spins with TAL for a moment, who manages to keep the hammerlock in, Tyler rotates once, before making a beeline to the ropes. Elvis Nixon comes over to split the two men apart, TAB turns towards TAL and smirks as Nixon moves him back across the ring. Anglo smiles himself and waives Tyler forward.
Nick Stuart: Looks like TAL is getting some lip work in.
Richard Parker: Maybe this is where he left the words to go with the middle finger.
Tyler rolls his eyes and goes into a short trot, turns sideways and starts sliding. TAL instinctively moves away, as the son of Best stops in his tracks and waives The Anglo Luchador towards him. It’s TAL’s turn to roll his eyes, he even gives Tyler a small clap. After the short pause, the two men head to the center of the ring, both running their mouths. TAB shoves TAL clearly mouthing the words ‘TOMMY TALENTED’ really slowly.
Nick Stuart: I don’t know if these two like each other much.
Richard Parker: What tipped you off, Nick?
TAL comes back over, and Tyler throws his chest out, flailing his arms wide. Tommy TALented doesn’t take kindly to the peacocking and decks Tyler across the jaw with a right hand.
Richard Parker: WOAH!
Nick Stuart: If you didn’t expect that, you’ve never been to Wildwood in the summer.
TAB is shocked, but TAL follows up with a blistering chop across the chest that sends Tyler reeling backwards. The Anglo Luchador follows the retreating Best, sending a second chop flying across Tyler’s chest. Tyler finds his way to the corner, straining and grimacing the entire way there. The former Intense Champion has none of those problems and comes storming in with right hands. One clubs Tyler right in the side of the neck, as TAL ascends onto the first rope to get more leverage. TAL rips off another right hand, then another, then another, Elvis Nixon begins counting and the crowd starts counting with him.
Tyler Adrian Best is infuriated, he tries to pull TAL forward off of the ropes but TAL grabs the top rope and holds on. He fires off another shot as Elvis Nixon finally gets in between the two men and begins to separate them. TAL’s mouth is running a million miles an hour, and Tyler Best is hearing every single word of the Philadelphian’s dissection of his character. Tyler snarls, storming through Elvis Nixon to catch The Anglo Luchador off guard. He smashes him with a punch of his own, then a kick to the outside leg that almost takes TAL off of his feet.
Nick Stuart: I think TAB found his groove.
Richard Parker: He’s not Stella getting her groove back… Hoyt dammit, Nick. And you say I’m bad.
Elvis Nixon moves out of the way, TAL tries to slip a left jab in, but Tyler blocks with his left hand, and fires off a straight right that TAL manages to block, but the inside leg kick from the right leg of TAB goes unchecked and crashes into the plant leg of TAL. It crashes in and sounds like a whip exploding with energy against its target. TAL grimaces but TAB continues his onslaught driving the old luchador back into a corner.
Nick Stuart: Great leg kick by TAB.
Richard Parker: I’m limping, and I’m ringside.
TAB swings another kick into TAL’s legs, this time he gets a shin in front of it, checking the kick, causing TAB to come forward with a right hand. TAL steps forward, grabbing Tyler with underhooks. He spins, using Tyler’s momentum and slams him into the corner. He stumbles off down the ropes, before turning and coming back with a vicious drop kick to the midsection. Tyler is doubled over and The Anglo Luchador marches across the ring, before sprinting across going for a back elbow. TAB slides out of the way at the last second, sending TAL smashing back first into the turnbuckle. He stumbles out of the corner and gets dropped by a short arm lariat from Tyler Best.
Nick Stuart: That lariat looked like it hurt.
Richard Parker: Of course it hurt, Nick. It’s the Best Lariat!
Nick Stuart: I get it now, I see why you like him.
Richard Parker: He’s the Best.
Nick Stuart: I hope he kills you and eats your brain with a fork.
Tyler stumbles to the ropes, still holding his midsection. TAL slowly climbs to his feet just a few feet from Tyler on the opposite ropes. Tyler eyes up TAL and takes a another big swing of a lariat, but TAL grabs the top rope and drops to his back, letting TAB flip over the top rope all the way to the floor. TAL takes off running for the far ropes, and comes back at a dead sprint. He dives over the top rope, spinning in a tornillo the entire way. He connects with TAB and sends Tyler sprawling backwards into the railing.
Nick Stuart: High Risk! High Reward!
Tyler rests against the barricade grimacing, as TAL gets to his feet. He smashes Tyler with a right hand, then a kick to the midsection, before winding up Tyler, and irish whipping him as hard as he could into the barricade.
Tyler hits the barricade and bounces off holding his back, TAL comes down the aisle with another right hand.
TAL cocks back for another right hand, but Tyler manages to catch TAL’s arm, and whips him around, right into the ring post.
Richard Parker: Smart kid.
After taking a moment, Tyler grabs TAL by the back of the head and tries to ram it forward into the ring post. TAL manages to get his foot up to stop his mask and skull being opened like a watermelon.
TAL slams TAB’s head off the apron, once, then a second time.
TAL rolls TAB into the ring and follows him in from behind. TAB rolls to his feet and takes a bit of a wild swing at TAL, who sticks him with a left jab. Another wild swing, another left jab, Tyler reels backwards and TAL smashes him with another jab, this time bringing the right cross forward and catching TAB across the mouth. TAB stumbles back into the corner, and TAL sprints in, this time connecting with the running back elbow.
Richard Parker: OW!
Nick Stuart: Innovative offense from the Son of Shogun!
Tyler stumbles out of the corner and TAL heads to the ropes. The Anglo Luchador comes off the ropes, he goes for a hurricanrana but Tyler Best finishes the flip and lands on his feet. TAL lands kneeled, but spins around looking for Tyler. He comes from behind him and tackles him in the midsection, driving him towards the corner. TAB, realizing his situation, runs up the turnbuckles, and flips backwards behind The Anglo Luchador. TAL tries to turn, but Tyler grabs him around the neck, and pulls him backward into a reverse DDT. The Paladin of PRIME holds his head, grimacing in pain.
Richard Parker: GOT HIM!
Nick Stuart: Terrific Reverse DDT there.
TAL grabs the back of his head and rolls his way to the apron as Tyler tries to stomp on it. Elvis gets in between the two men, but Tyler risks everything by shoving him away.
Richard Parker: WOAH! WOAH! Don’t touch the official when he can see what happens!
Nick Stuart: Risky tactic by Tyler, but it looks like Nixon is going to allow it.
TAB reaches between the middle and top rope, dragging TAL up by the mask. TAL throws a weak left hand, but Tyler smashes his own forehead right between TAL’s eyes. He pulls him up again, and lunges forward at TAL, but this time the Paladin of PRIME returns the favor and ducks his own skull. Both men’s heads collide and Tyler takes a few steps back as TAL slowly gets to his feet. Tyler turns around just as the old man makes it to his feet on the apron. He rushes forward going for a kick but TAL slips underneath the outstretched foot, and yanks Tyler’s leg downwards on the rope.
Nick Stuart: That’s gotta hurt.
Richard Parker: Clearly he’s using the ropes to hit Tyler below the belt there, Elvis, please, do something.
Tyler roars in pain as the old Luchador shoves him off of the ropes and back towards the center of the ring. The Anglo Luchador storms through the ropes coming in with a short arm lariat. Tyler ducks underneath and TAL chooses to keep his momentum going forward into the ropes. He comes back and runs under Tyler’s leapfrog. He hits the far ropes and comes back, Tyler whips TAL to the mat with a picture – perfect armdrag. TAL rolls to his feet and turns around swinging a wild right hand. Tyler manages to parry the blow, and smash TAL in the midsection with a knee.
Richard Parker: Ooof. That knee looked dangerous.
Nick Stuart: I think The Anglo Luchador made that exact noise.
The air rushes out of the Anglo Luchador’s mouth, he tries to suck in, but can’t. He spins wildly, looking for a back elbow and catching Tyler just below the eye. Tyler hits the ground like a sack of bricks but TAL stumbles to the corner clutching his midsection. Tyler crawls to the ropes, now with a cut opened just under his eye. The Anglo Luchador looks over and see’s Tyler leaning against the bottom ropes, the gash opened just underneath a rapidly swelling eye. TAL runs forward, trying to drive a foot into Tyler’s face. Tyler manages to move as TAL stomps the apron, clearly having swung his foot looking to come back with brain matter.
Richard Parker: Airball!
Nick Stuart: If TAL had connected, we might be looking for Tyler’s skull in the upper deck.
Tyler rolls forward out of the way, and then fires back with a leg sweep to TAL’s leg on the apron. TAL’s heel is caught and he sprawls out unexpectedly. Tyler lunges forward and comes up with a huge knee to TAL’s skull. TAL’s head shoots backwards like a missile. TAL launches backwards into the corner, and TAB grabs him by the neck and drags him forward, dropping down into a vicious cutter.
Richard Parker: STREEEEEEEET SWEEEEEEEPER!
Nick Stuart: What a cutter! He got all of it!
TAB flips TAL over, and places both hands firmly in the middle of TAL’s chest. Elvis Nixon dives to the mat, but immediately notices TAL’s leg, still hanging through the bottom rope. TAB reaches down and hooks it slowly, looking back at Nixon who jumps to his feet waiving the pin off. TAB gets to his feet and screams at Nixon, blood still pouring from his cheek wound.
Nick Stuart: TAL looks like he’s going to live to fight another day!
Richard Parker: Maybe Nick, maybe he gets to fight another day.
TAL slowly pulls himself to his feet, using the ropes to drag his way up. He looks toward Tyler and wills himself forward, he grabs the irate TAB by the shoulder and spins him around, smashing him across a bruised and blistering chest with a knife edge chop. TAB grabs his chest grimacing and throws a right hand back at TAL, TAL unloads with a right hand to the open wound on TAB’s face. They trade blows, back and forth, until TAB finally takes the advantage with a rake of the eyes. TAL grabs for his mask, and Tyler connects a right kick into TAL’s midsection. TAL tries to not fold in half, but the choice is made for him as Tyler’s hands rap around his neck and yank his head down across TAB’s shoulder, again.
Richard Parker: STREEEEEEEEET SWEEEEEEEEPER!
Nick Stuart: Oh that one’s in the middle of the ring…
Nixon swoops in as Tyler plants his hands on TAL’s chest again. He looks up into the camera, blood running down his right cheek.
…………. …………Jenga is hard……….
Nick Stuart: Tyler Best will be entering the Culture Shock battle royal 37th!
Richard Parker: What a huge win for Tyler Adrian Best in his second match in PRIME!
Vince Howard: And the winner of this match… and entering the Culture Shock Battle Royal… 37th overall!!!! TYYYYYYLER BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!
Richard Parker: He came in last when he won War Games. He’s won a big multi-man already in his young career. He could do it again.
Our scene fades to commercial.