YES, THIS IS A JOJO’S REFERENCE

We fade out of commercial and into…silence?

As a matter of fact, the MGM Grand is at a complete standstill. Literally. Nobody–not the crowd, not the ref, not the commentators, not one soul–is moving. They are frozen like statues. No muscles flexing or sounds from their vocal cords. Indeed, the only thing any of them can move is their eyes. Side to side. Back and forth. What the hell is going on?

Tap.
Tap.
Tap.

Someone is tapping on a microphone, as if to make sure it still works in this frozen landscape. Eyes dart to the top of the ramp and those that can see her are treated to the sight of the one person on the roster who very well do such a thing. And from the look on her face, she isn’t particularly amused. In fact, one can see a little something behind the usual nonplussed expression on her face. A glimmer of irritation. But then again, what do we know? For all you know, dear watcher, you are seeing a bit of movie magic. A hoax. The work of a master editor. Any excuse to make this not real, eh?

Anna Daniels: Sit.

We who aren’t in the building can’t see exactly who she’s telling to sit. But apparently, this wish is granted. The camera shifts to get a better look. The Muse sitting cross legged on the ramp, the NEW ERA shirt prominent. How is this filmed? GoPro? Either way. There is a pause as the shuffle of Multitudes try to figure out exactly what is the best way to start this. Eventually, somebody wins.

Anna Daniels: Mortimer…

Immediately, there is a shake of the head. Firebug has taken the mic.

Anna Daniels: you know what? fuck that dancing around. rowan. your name is rowan and as far as we’re concerned, you are the most cowardly bitch on this entire roster and it ain’t even close, you underwhelming sack of one-hundred percent grade A USDA approved bullshit!

One can’t help but wonder what kind of reaction this would get if the fans could make noise. As it is, the only noise is an exhaled sigh and another shift.

Anna Daniels: Here’s the thing, Rowan. We tried to be nice about it. We really did. We explained that changing a person’s past is not in the cards. We even explained why with the whole WHAT IF YOU’RE WRONG thing. We played along with your shenanigans, took you calling us a whore on the chin, even went so far as to not verbally rail you when you came up to us begging with some cheap, stale chocolates. And although we aren’t always above abusing our position as lord of time for shits and gigs because…

Her arms flare out as if to say “look at this” before continuing.

Anna Daniels: Exhibit A. We honestly don’t like to do it all the time. It ruins the fun for us when people expect it and it’ll ruin the fun for you. So needless to say, your endless bellyaching about “oh, Anna did this and Anna did that and she’s the reason I absolutely suck” even when we’re not in the same ‘verse is irritating. Add to that you threatened Ria who can take care of herself, thank you very much. And accusing us of switching around Murder Roidhead’s test results? Really? We’re not you. We aren’t pathetic.

A member of the Multitudes cannot help but make the vessel’s hands clap together.

Anna Daniels: Now! We could just travel back in time, be a vindictive little monster, and make your life a thousand times worse to the point where that shitty little shack you’re living in would look like a palace. Buuuuut that wouldn’t very fun! That would be boring! So we have a proposition. Listen real hard because we know you hear us. Mortimer Karmachameleon vs the New Era. Great American Nightmare. We win? You leave us alone. You never ask the question again. You shut up and deal with your failures. You win?

A pause.

Anna Daniels: We won’t fix your past. But you will.

There is now a smile.

Anna Daniels: You will be taken back to that Macy’s of yesteryear. Maybe a little bit before then. You will have the chance to fix what you think is your biggest mistake. You will have one shot. One opportunity. This is everything you’ve ever wanted. One moment. Will you capture it…or let it slip?

Eminem song in your head aside, anybody can see the smile grow wider. It’s almost as if they already know the answer.

Anna Daniels: Better hurry to Lady Troy’s office, Rowan. The Nightmare is just around the corner. And as for the rest of you?

It is only then that she takes full control of the GoPro just enough to show that NEW ERA logo proudly.

Anna Daniels: Buy our shirt, you fucking cowards.

And then…darkness. The world begins to move again in confusion just in time for the next segment.