YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE
…Lindsay Troy’s office.
That’s right; we’ve barely started the show and the boss already has to deal with nonsense. That’s a bad sign.
Normally she’d be handling Boss Business right now. Stuff like looking over advertising contracts or ratings reports. Or even processing one of the resignation letters sent weekly by the Hollywood Bruvs, even though she fired them a year ago. Who knows.
Instead, she’s got on a PRIME referee kit and is lacing up a pair of sneakers, thanks to Abe Lipschitz’s stipulations for the Alias Title.
And no, she’s not calling it by that other name, thank you very much.
Wade Elliott is here too, because every so often the Queen needs to take a break and look at something pretty. He sits in the chair beside Lindsay’s desk, watching his lady get ready.
Wade Elliott: Y’gonna let me help’r what?
Lindsay Troy: (grimacing) I said I got it.
Oh, yeah. She’s also dealing with a rib injury thanks to a 300+ pound moonsaulting man who took her pretty title belt from her.
Wade Elliott: Fer Hoyt’s sake yer stubborn. C’mere.
He takes her foot off the edge of her chair, places it on his leg, and finishes tying the laces. He does the same for her other shoe, then gently pulls her chair closer.
Lindsay Troy: (softly) Thanks.
Wade Elliott: This still ain’t a bright idea.
Lindsay Troy: (smiling) You’d be going ahead with this if you were me, and don’t say you wouldn’t.
So that’s what they do while they wait for the trouble to start. Fortunately they don’t have to wait long, as there’s a sudden commotion outside.
“Careful with the dress! This is a Dior!”
“No, it’s not.”
“This is a…close approximation of a Dior!”
“Not that close. The stitching’s all wrong.”
The door flies open as two people enter the office. The first is Dametreyus, PRIME’s Head of Security. He’s got a hand clasped around the arm of the second person; a much smaller woman in a black-and-purple dress with a neckline that plunges almost as far as her morals. This is Savannah Scandal: wrestling “journalist,” tabloid reporter, gossip columnist, and a fourth thing that we can’t say on air.
Dam shoves her into the chair on the opposite side of the desk.
Dametreyus: Caught this one making trouble at Tom’s press conference. Says she’s got permission.
Lindsay Troy: Nobody gave her permission to be the absolute worst, nevermind permission to be here.
Savannah Scandal: First of all, I just want to say that your man here was very rough with me just now.
Lindsay Troy: First of all, I don’t buy that for a second. Dam’s an absolute teddy bear. Aren’t you, Dam?
Dam: That’s what everyone says, Boss.
Lindsay Troy: Second of all, don’t hold your breath expecting an apology because you don’t deserve one.
Savannah Scandal: I don’t want an apology, I want his phone number.
She winks at the Head of Security; he shudders in response. It’s not that Savannah isn’t attractive…it’s just that everything about her that looks good is just as fake as her “designer” dress.
Everything about her that looks bad? Very, very real.
The interloper turns back toward Lindsay, and plasters a new fake smile on top of her old one.
Savannah Scandal: Lindz! Babe!
Troy gives her a glare that could melt steel.
Savannah Scandal: Ms. Troy. Savannah Scandal, creator of the Scandal Sheet. The internet’s number one column!
She offers her hand to Troy, who looks at it as if it were a dead rat, or Angelo Deville.
Lindsay Troy: We’ve met already.
Wade Elliott: Pretty sure you asked if I was her “side piece,” or “main ho.” Never got an answer t’that, now that I think’ve it…
Lindsay Troy: Dam, would you mind putting this trash in the dumpster, please?
Savannah Scandal: Hold on just a minute! I’m here as an accredited journalist! Sweetie, could you return my bag?
Oh right, the bag. Dametreyus was still holding a black satchel, which he dumps in Savannah’s lap.
Savannah Scandal: Careful! That’s a Louis Vuitton!
Dametreyus: The tag says “Larry.”
Savannah Scandal: …it’s his brother.
Before she gets thrown out, Savannah starts rifling through the bag. Moments later, she produces a set of papers that may or may not be official documents.
Savannah Scandal: There we are. Official permission to be here as a journalist, signed by your office this morning. Press pass, backstage access, the works.
Scandal tosses the papers on LT’s desk. Lindsay looks them over with a skeptical eye, searching for the slightest excuse to deny Savannah’s application. Unfortunately, she finds none; everything is in order. All the t’s crossed, all the i’s dotted. Well…actually, there are little hearts instead of dots, but the Queen can’t really argue with that because Deb Warenstein did the same thing on her resume.
Lindsay Troy: Is there a reason you decided to screw with me today? We have enough staff, and nobody wants you here.
Savannah Scandal: That’s not quite true. The last page is a recommendation from one of your employees. Someone really wants me here…and it feels soooooooo nice to be wanted.
Troy flips to the final page. To her surprise, it’s exactly what Savannah said it was. She tosses it aside and snarls at the “journalist.”
Lindsay Troy: Fine. Stay out of the locker rooms and don’t touch anyone.
Savannah claps her hands in delight, then stands up and turns to leave. But first, she grabs a small recording device from her bag, and sticks it in Wade Elliott’s face.
Savannah Scandal: Wade, is it true that you two broke a hotel bed in San Diego after Tropical Turmoil?
The Bad Dog snorts, looking down at the device. He grins mischievously, then snags the device from Savannah’s hand, bending the plastic casing with a thumb before it snaps.
Wade Elliott: And a coupl’ve mirrors. Shoulda been there.
Lindsay Troy: Dam, get her out of here.
Dametreyus: Time to go, Savannah.
Scandal frowns about not getting an answer, but does as she’s told.
Savannah Scandal: You know, I’ve got an extra card for my hotel…
Dametreyus: Good for you.
The door closes, and peace is restored to the Boss’ office…at least for a moment.
Wade picks up the discarded sheet of paper, and reads the name of the idiot who put this fiasco in motion.
Wade Elliott: Huh. Didn’t think this kinda thing was up his alley.
Lindsay Troy: It usually isn’t. But he’s been making a lot of bad choices lately, so I can’t say I’m surprised.
On that very ominous note, ReVival heads elsewhere.