Hello True Believers,
Here we are again.
I know it seems like yesterday that I was tapping away on my computer screen, not knowing who (if anyone) was going to stumble upon my little piece of this industry. I’m well aware that my opinions are just that, mine, but what happened next shocked my entire system.
Hit after hit.
View after view.
I had never seen my visit counter on my little blog shoot to the stratosphere so fast. I’ve been fielding calls from potential sponsors almost hourly.
Sorry. I went on a tangent. Allow me to get us back on track and get to the reason all of you are here.
Last time I posted I merely touched on so many different avenues about who and what he completely encompasses. On the outside he’s this gruff, unapproachable and closed off individual. That might be the case, but if you ask people that have gotten close to him, you’d know that’s not entirely true.
I’ve been told that he’s a man that will fight and die for the people he seems close to and those who deserve it. However getting to that point is like trying to break glass by flicking it with your finger. Sure eventually you’ll make some progress but it’s not the most effective method.
That’s where a cinder block comes into play. All you’ve to do is huck it and chuck it. That glass shatters into a million pieces.
Shawn drones on and on about how he pulled himself up from the bottom. How he scratched and clawed his way to becoming a pinnacle in this business. How no matter the odds he always kept swinging. I can’t lie to any of you, the guy comes off as quiet and reserved but that isn’t the case at all once you start talking about the business. Of all the stories he’s talked about there is one that sticks out considering everything going on with him in PRIME.
Sometime in 2005
“Where the fuck is he?” A suited man walks down the back halls of a nondescript arena. As he brushes past numerous people, asking each one. None of them have the answer he’s looking for.
Shawn was always good at hiding deep in the depths of arenas. Always finding what he called ‘A Nice Quiet Spot’. When I’m reality it was just a spot for him to shoot up. He needed to make sure that no one was watching. He needed to make sure that there was no visible evidence so he took to shooting between his toes. No traces on his arms in his fucked up mind meant no traces period.
Finally the man sees someone sitting on the floor, hood over his head and seemingly nodding in and out of consciousness. Tentatively he walks up and nudges the man on the floor it causes the man to sway away from him. The shine of gold catches the man’s eye and right then he knew he had the right man.
“Dammit Fuzz…” He smacks Shawn across the face a few times. “God dammit.”
Shawn slowly opened his eyes to see the owner of the company standing above him. “Wh— what’s—” Shawn starts to drift off once again before he is slapped again. “Up?”
“Are you kidding me right now? I put a title on you and you’re just going to throw it away like this?” A look of disappointment on the man’s face.
“It’s—it’s not like it’s your top title.” Even half in the bag Shawn manages to get a smirk out.
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re either going to kill yourself in the ring or outside of it. Either way your life is going to end sooner than it should.” He tries to lift Shawn up to his feet and eventually does so. The wobbly legs of Shawn forces the man to hold the majority of the weight as Shawn leans on him.
“You’re so dramatic.” A deep cough from Shawn that sounds like gravel inside a dryer. “You’re the one that put me on this path.”
“Hindsight Fuzz. Hindsight.” He begins to lead Shawn towards the gorilla position that’s way down on the other side of the hallway.
“You know me, if I’m going to show the fans something, it’s got to be authentic.” Shawn’s head begins to droop and sway.
“Yeah, I’m aware. Fuzz has gotta keep it real.” The man uses his free hand and daps up his own chest. “Keeping it real is going to…”
“Yeah I know. Kill me. Also by the way don’t ever do that again. It somehow made you seem whiter than normal. Almost translucent.” Shawn manages a smile. “Listen boss. It’s been like this for months and months. Nothing has gone wrong. You’re worrying about nothing.”
“Fuzz you’ve never gotten into the ring higher than a kite.” Slowly Shawn looks at the man and smirks.
“Yeah…. Sure.” Shawn’s smirk continues. “Just know this, boss, what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you.” Shawn pats the man on the shoulder just as the reach gorilla. “Don’t worry boss. Your money maker isn’t going anywhere any time soon. This World title is staying with me, just make sure to keep that Universal title warm for me.”
“Just don’t do anything stupid out there.” Shawn’s music begins to play as he begins to walk towards the curtain.
“You know me.” Shawn winks at the boss and shakes his head free of the cobwebs.
“I know Fuzz. That’s why I said it.” He said as Shawn disappeared through the curtain.
Now I wish I could say that Shawn ended up winning that match, but he didn’t. Shortly after walking through the curtain the Boss was next to his opponent and made it abundantly clear that Shawn, under no certain circumstances, was allowed to walk out that match the champion.
Through the course of the match Shawn fought as he always did, with nothing but grit and determination. Fighting all obstacles that were put before him. This night however he was finally facing an equal in the ring and all it took was one slip up from Shawn.
His body was left on top of the cage, head pushed through the roof, as blood dripped down to the mat. Shawn couldn’t continue and the match was called right then and there. He never truly lost the match but in the record books it won’t show that. All it shows is that after that match Shawn was gone for months and wasn’t ever to quite get his revenge…
Well not until much later, but this is show business. Always leave them wanting more.
So what does any of that have to do with Culture Shock? Clearly it has everything to do with it. It shows that even at his worst Shawn was willing to go out there and give everything for the business. He will put himself through hell just to make sure people go home happy. At Culture Shock only one person is planning on going home happy.
Until Next Time
The laptop once again closes as I run the inside of my eyes. “Okay, I see we are sticking with the whole… Gossip Guy thing.”
“Girl, mate. Gossip Girl.” Donovan leaned back in his chair in the suite and sighed. “You’re never going to get that are you? I’ll just change it then.”
“I’m just saying, you do you man.” I took a deep breath and began rocking my head back and forth. “You missed the major point in that story. I mean you hit the high notes but you’ve got a long way to go before you find the real meaning.”
“Well don’t hold out on me now. I know I’ve got a lot of work to do still, but you tell stories but not the meaning or your thoughts behind them.” He reaches for the laptop and flips the lid open. “Just go ahead then mate, learn me something.”
“Ugh, fine.” I swallow hard and nod slowly. “Okay. The purpose of that story wasn’t that I give it all for the fans. I don’t give a single fuck about them or their enjoyment. If I could get into and out of the ring before they realized what had happened I would. I don’t care if they feel as if they didn’t get their money’s worth. As long as my bottom dollar stays the same they can all go home unhappy for all I care.” I stop for a moment and smile. “Hell majority of the people in this match at Culture Shock would say the same thing. Other than maybe Hayes but what more could you expect from a rookie. He hasn’t been jaded to the realities of the industry yet. He’s still getting a taste of what everything is actually about. One day he will learn, and one day he will be jaded. I’m pretty sure that change begins at Culture Shock.”
“Fine I get it, you don’t care if the fans like you or not.” Donovan begins tapping away on the laptop. “But I was going for something a little bit deeper.”
“Yeah and I’m trying to show you.” I slap the top of the table with my palm. “Sometimes you have to do what’s right for yourself and not worry about anyone else. You have to go for the jugular when the opportunity arises. You never know when it’s going to happen so you’ve always got to be ready to pounce, or something like that from Jonny boy. What he’s take from that match is that I went out there fucked up and lost a title. I lost what was going to be a crowning moment in my long and illustrious career. However, that was so long ago that most people have forgotten or never cared to learn about it. Why else would I leave all the major details out? The company? Irrelevant. The opponent? Gone. The loser? Still here and breathing, hell fuck that, thriving. Just like Johnny, if you leave out the details no one has anything to attack. If the past is forgotten, then you can carve your own path.”
“I feel like we are getting way off point here mate.” Donovan continues to type away on the computer.
“Okay, one of the major points that was glossed over was the blatant nepotism.” I smile a bit. “We’ve all seen it happen. We have all watched as people who don’t belong get opportunity after opportunity handed to them. Cecilia is kind of like my opponent from that night. They were told to take what was mine and they did. The difference is that last I heard talent isn’t genetic or something. Like him, she walks around in the back seemingly without a care in the world. Why? Daddy and Auntie will protect her. Not at Culture Shock. Not that night. There will be four other men vying for that spot along with her. Weird. It seems like it’s a meme, but that just seems like it’s too low of a bar to cross. Even for me.”
“Come on man. Get to the point before I go get hammered on some VB’s and pass out at the pool.” Donovan is clearly frustrated and I gently reassure him with a shrug.
“Remember kid, you’re following me. I don’t need you here to get my points across.” A slight head tilt towards him as he rolls his hand for me to continue. “Thank you. Then finally the point of it all is someone so obtuse to what’s going on Rezin. Sure the guy somehow managed to get to this point, but how? I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up to the match more fucked up than I did in the past. See unlike him the old me would’ve been right there with him. Dazed and confused, but we both have and will suffer the same fate. A big fat loss. Something that will take years and years to finally get over. I have. His journey is just beginning.”
“Why do I feel like there’s going to be a moral at the end of the story?” Donovan questioned.
“Oh I see you are learning. Good on ya.” I give him a thumbs up before continuing forward. “What all of them need to understand after reading your blog about that match is simple. Fuck the fans. Fuck everytbing surrounding the match. All the paths we forged to get here are meaningless once that bell rings. Once we all stand across from one another that’s when it’s going to set in deep in our bones. The difference between that night and this night. I’m wiser than I was. I no longer have black tar running through my veins. I’m not walking to the messed up beyond what could be considered normal. No. I ditched that a long time ago. I was left bleeding from the top of the cage and I was able to climb back from the bottom of society. When no one cared whether I lived or died. I plan on leaving them in the ring broken, battered and bloodied. I want to be the man they are chasing for revenge. I want them to know what it feels like to be at the bottom. I want them to hate me more than I hated myself at that time.”
“Okay. Not really the happy go lucky ending most Movie of the Weeks had, but I guess it will do.” I stared at Donovan while he typed away.
“Not everyone gets their happily ever after. Sometimes people need someone to hate, I have no problem playing that pet better than the rest of these fools in this match.” Before Donovan could finish typing I shut the lid on the laptop. “Finish this later. Let’s go get fucked up. I don’t get to do this all that often.”
The both of us stand up and head out of the suite. One day you’ll go on that adventure with us, however today just isn’t that day.