Far Too Long

Far too long at home can make a person go mad. Eventually the walls start closing in and your body goes numb. The brain cannot take isolation without losing itself. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are or what type of isolation it may be. Isolation can and will decimate a persons true purpose. What purpose? Far too soon to tell. 

LJ walked with a purpose as he ran up the stairs of his home – dodging toys and clothes along the way. He had been home for how long now? At least 6-months if not more. This isn’t true isolation though. This is pure torture without any purpose. The reason he’s home? Because he can’t hack it with the younger generation. Hell, he can’t hack it with the older generation, either! 

“Can you bring the laundry down?” He hears his wife yell from the laundry room. 

He ignores her. He’s helped enough, he thought. Catering to their every need – tea parties, soccer games, pumpkin carvings – he had nothing left to give. He had no idea how he’d go travel and wrestle next weekend. He didn’t even want to do this anymore. Just a miserable pit of nothingness. 

LJ had to pack his stuff and get out of here. He had a 20-hour drive ahead of him to get to Nashville. He wasn’t going to fly. He needed a day and a half to get there from his house. He’d head out Sunday night and arrive late Monday or early Tuesday – depending on when and where he stopped in the middle. 

“Logan, can you hear me? I need the laundry from the kids’ room to get this finished” – she wasn’t even hollering, she was asking nicely and he still didn’t care – ‘get it yourself’ he thought. 

He slung his suitcase open and started piling clothes into it. More and more clothes. ‘As much clothes as I can possibly fit, now!’ – he thought. 

He knew he’d forget stuff this time around. He was in a hurry and wasn’t looking back. He didn’t even care what he forgot, he’d buy it again if he had to. He just knew he had to go.

He closed the suitcase and left his bedroom. He looked to the right and could see his son in his room playing a video game. He walked down the hallway and said, “I’ve gotta head out for a few days, pal. Another match. Wish me luck.” 

His son paused his game and looked over, “maybe you should just stay home, dad?” 

Logan was stunned, taken aback by what his son was saying. He was by far the number one supporter for this ‘comeback’ and mid-life crisis of a career change. His wife had her doubts but his son thought it was amazing – finally seeing his dad wrestle… that wasn’t on a DVD. 

“Why do you say that, Landon? I thought you liked seeing your ol’ man on the TV” he said with a soft, slight chuckle. 

Landon put his controller down and stood up. He walked over to his dad and wrapped his arms around him. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt anymore” he said. 

It was the first time that Logan felt legitimate guilt about leaving his family to go wrestle.

“You keep leaving and coming home with this defeated look on your face, its getting worse and worse. Mom won’t tell you because she knows you’ll stop. The twins are too young to notice. I love you, dad… and I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore.”

Logan pulled Landon in tighter and hugged him. “I love you, buddy. I’ll see you soon.” 

He picked up his suitcase and headed for the stairs. He looked down the hallway and saw the twins door shut – they were in bed and sleeping. He’d see them when he got back. 

He went down the stairs – while dodging the toys and clothes, again – wiping a tear from his eye. How could he want to run away from the people who care about him so much? 

“Did you really ignore me multiple times and still came downstairs without the kids dirty clothes? On days you plan to leave, you are completely missing from this family – I just don’t know what you are thinking half the time!” Kayla hollers at him as he heads for the garage. 

“Do you even plan to say goodbye to me? Or are you seriously just going to leave for a week without saying a single word?” 

Logan put his suitcase into his car and closed the trunk. He turned around and walked towards Kayla. “I have to go. Lets not fight as I’m walking out the door, please.” 

“Give me a kiss goodbye and I’ll see you in a week then” she said with a glare. 

Logan gave her a peck on the lips and a quick hug – “see you in a week” he said, as he sat in the car and started it. He was off to Tennessee to face Scott Hunter – wondering whether he’d come back home or not. He’d never said he’d be home and not come home, but this time he was really contemplating it. 

He knew his wife was tired of his crap. He knew his son was tired of hearing how bad his dad was at wrestling every day at school. He knew he was barely making enough money to make it worthwhile. He doesn’t know what to do or who he even is at this point.