Jonathan-Christopher Hall
Clapping.
Obnoxious, flamboyant clapping.
She bounces up and down on her bed, in a cross legged position, laughing as loudly as her tiny frame can manage. He enters the room, sliding across the floor with his back towards her, projecting a sense of newfound confidence. He’s sporting an expensive black suit, as he lifts his hands to fix his cufflinks and then rolls his shoulders forward.
“The name is Christopher,” he exclaims in a low, intense voice. “Jonathan-Christopher.”
She claps louder than before as her body shakes with enjoyment.
“Again!” She orders. “Again! Again!”
He scurries away, out of the bedroom, out of sight.
…Only to sprint into the room, sliding ever-so-gracefully against the hardwood floor. His back is turned. His cufflinks have been repositioned.
“The name is Christopher,” his voice grows louder. Sexier. More mysterious. “Jonathan-Christopher.”
She’s absolutely ballistic on the bed, bawling with laughter. Meanwhile, he faces the opposite direction. The truth is he’s a mess of sweat and uncertainty, his demeanor doesn’t match the voice he projects.
He looks weak. Sick. Scared.
“Say it again! Again! Again! Again!” She remarks, towing a line between demand and desire.
Of course he will listen.
“The name is Christopher.” It is the lowest, darkest, most confident expression yet. “Jonathan-Christopher.”
He temporarily suppresses the fear on his face as he cocks his head around, placing both sets of hands on his black bowtie and wiggling it about.
She claps the loudest clap of all, along with a wicked cackle, before digging herself deeper into the top of the bedsheets.
“Oh, dearest Jonathan-Christopher,” she tosses her wild blonde hair around without a care in the world. “Take that confidence over here.”
He needs a moment to recollect himself. He prays that when he turns to her, he will exude confidence.
She pats the empty space beside her as Jonathan-Christopher approaches the bed and collapses next to his Amazing Life Partner. She wraps her right arm around him, placing his upper body on her lap.
“He doesn’t know what he’s in for,” she begins. Her eyes narrow. “None of them do. You are on the greatest run of your life…”
She strokes JC’s hair while he stares into the space where he performed the James Bond cosplay.
“Soon, you will have defeated the Russian who ignorantly looked past you.”
She can’t help it. Her mind dances with the delight of seeing Jonathan-Christopher mercilessly pound the living piss out of Ivan Stanislav, similar to how the Russian Bear scared the actual piss out of her man a few days ago.
But Vickie knows times have changed. Provide Jonathan-Christopher a week’s worth of tender love and care and he will find the inner strength needed to overcome. Vickie is a nurturing manager. She can unlock the Key of Confidence by staying grounded and giving her man an honest, realistic, empathetic approach. It’s been nothing but up since the battle royal. Jonathan-Christopher hasn’t lost since.
“I can’t wait for you to crunch that slut into the ground,” Vickie conveys, continuing to roll her hands through his waving brown hair. “Take those lawn mower tree trunk arms of yours and kill, KILL, KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!”
She is in bliss, as she laughs into the night. Meanwhile, Jonathan-Christopher puts on a brave face because if his face looks brave, he is brave.
Right?
…
Right!?
© © © ™ ™ ™ ® ® ®
The following has been trademarked, copyrighted and registered by Vickie Hall because it’s the most unique and amazing PRIME love story of all time.
© © © ™ ™ ™ ® ® ®
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
A true love story
An honest friendship
Poke the Russian Bear, it’s not his fucking journey
— — — — —
Hall Penthouse Suite
Las Vegas, NV
June 6, 2023
22:00
7’1”
400 pounds.
He is so screwed.
He is so, so screwed.
Jonathan-Christopher received the Ivan Stanislav scouting report the night the announcement was made. Vickie provided him with a large document, as well as the one-page summary regarding everything Hall needs to know for his upcoming match. But Jonathan-Christopher can’t get past the first two lines on the top of the very first page.
7’1”
400 pounds.
The Timid Tiger is timid when he faces… well, anybody. He lacks confidence inside the wrestling ring. Now enter a man who is nearly three-times the size of his last opponent, with an impeccable record, too.
Timid doesn’t begin to explain his disposition.
Jonathan-Christopher sits in the living room, staring at the sheet of paper. He’s tried, for some time now, to approach this match from a different perspective. Focus on what he’s done right, how he has performed wrestling maneuvers inside the ring. He’s not useless. He’s won before, a number of times.
Christ, he defeated Cancer Jiles.
Jonathan-Christopher has shown ability. Albeit limited, he wrestles with a sense of passion.
“Let Vickie be your guide,” he’ll tell himself. “Wrestle for her. She is everything.”
JCH can take a beating, too. He often does. Nevertheless, nothing stops the Louisiana native from pulling himself up and asking for another.
7’1”
400 pounds.
He can’t look past these measurements, and yet there’s more information below. Vickie is thorough. Others may question her intelligence but Jonathan-Christopher knows her wrestling IQ is extremely high. If Vickie could wrestle in Jonathan-Christopher’s body… furthermore, if Vickie could wrestle in Ivan Stanislav’s body… nothing would stop her. However, the mere tiny woman dreams of being the most successful wrestling manager in history. As a result, it’s up to Jonathan-Christopher to place her on that pedestal.
Jonathan-Christopher is sure someone of Ivan’s size is rather slow and JC would be much more nimble. Hall knows he should look past the daunting task of size and strength. Heart and resiliency also play a role.
Jonathan-Christopher certainly has those attributes.
But 7’1”.
400 pounds.
400 pounds.
400 pounds!
A tear rolls down his cheek. There’s no need to attend his outpatient meth support group, no further need for praying to God. He’s done for. 7’1”, 400 pounds is not something a guy such as JC can overcome. The winning streak is finished; the journey will come to a halt. And he was actually on his way!
A couple victories short of the Universal Championship. It’ll ruin Vickie.
Hall slowly turns his head towards their bedroom door. His Amazing Life Partner is sleeping. If he could fall into a slumber he would. But he can’t. He won’t. His mind will keep him up all night.
Thinking about the nightmare.
The reality.
The inevitable.
— — — — —
Hall Penthouse Suite
Las Vegas, NV
June 7, 2023
07:10
Jonathan-Christopher awakens to a number of loud noises. He raises his head from the living room table, where his face is stuck to the front page of Ivan Stanislav’s scouting report. A collection of men and women, carrying large bags of equipment file through the Hall’s penthouse front door. At first, Jonathan-Christopher thinks this might be a dream, so he pinches himself.
But it hurts.
No dream.
Reality.
The Timid Tiger tries to brush off the grogginess as quickly as possible. He runs an uneasy hand through his hair and digs both index fingers into his eyes to make sure they’re clean. He wants to ask- no he wants to demand an answer from the people entering their penthouse. What are they doing!? Who approved such nonsense!?
The men and women enter, drop off a bag and leave, only to return with another. Repeat. By Jonathan-Christopher’s count it’s a group of seven.
He sees Vickie in their apartment hallway, directing traffic to and from their suite. A tentative Jonathan-Christopher tries to cipher through the ongoing piles of baggage in order to make his way towards his ALP.
“There he is,” Vickie says with bright eyes and a wide smile. “My little man so sleepy, spending all night studying up on Ivan, haven’t you?”
Jonathan-Christopher doesn’t want to lie to Vickie, but he knows the truth may rattle her, particularly at a time like this – where she is living inside her Fruitopia. Jonathan-Christopher can tell, she is excited. Ecstatic. Giddy.
“And that one will go right over there,” Vickie commands an individual with two massive bags in his hand.
She brings her attention back to Jonathan-Christopher by holding his right arm.
“Oh dearest, what a time it will be!” She exclaims, once again taking a moment to direct traffic. “My father called in a favour.”
Her father, Reed Young, a former wrestling promoter. A man with money, lots of money. Furthermore, a man with connections.
“You see, I told him how close you were to becoming the number one contender for the Universal Championship,” she continues, as Jonathan-Christopher can feel additional butterflies accumulate in his stomach. “I expressed sadness in PRIME. Lindsay Troy isn’t putting the spotlight on you now, is she?”
Vickie means the words she speaks. She truly believes the spotlight has not been placed on her man. From a certain perspective, maybe she has a point. Not THE point, but a point. When Jonathan-Christopher thinks about it, he beat Cancer Jiles. Yet Jiles receives a major PWA2 match against one of High Octane’s better talents.
On the other hand, it’s not as though Jonathan-Christopher isn’t wrestling for a chance to be placed in the turmoil match. When JCH thinks extremely hard about it, he is climbing the ranks and receiving an appropriate amount of attentio-
“I was crying to my father, you see,” Vickie interrupts Jonathan-Christopher’s train of thought. “It’s so unfair you don’t receive a PWA match, or a PWA Tag Title match or more respect for being on the unreal winning streak you’re on…”
Jonathan-Christopher takes a second to look over the numerous bags inside their front hall. They look like heavy, expensive equipment bags.
“Well,” Vickie explains with excitement while shaking her hair down. “I’ll get to the point…”
She strolls towards the bags. Leaning down, she opens one up and reveals a tripod.
“My father called in a favour to ESPN. They’ve decided to do a trial run… with us!”
She blushes, she can barely keep her shit together she’s so god damn excited.
“A 30 For 30. A documentary on OUR journey!”
The anxiety within JCH practically ensures his heart won’t stop rifling in his chest.
“I told my father how close you were to the end of our journey. I cried and I cried and said ‘daddy, the world is missing out on the most amazing couple, doing the most death-defying things… trying to make it in the wrestling world. Making it together. And succeeding’.”
Hall sees such joy dancing in her pupils. He knows he’s along for the ride regardless of how uncomfortable he feels.
“Oh gosh golly, what a moment it will be, captured on television. Your ascent to the top, wasting Ivan Stanislav, winning the turmoil contest and becoming Universal Champion.”
And yet Jonathan-Christopher grows confused. With all due respect to his ALP, he can’t help but think…
Whatever happened to taking this one step at a time?
Whatever happened to being content with losses?
Whatever happened to progress?
…
Have unrealistic expectations returned?
His heart hammers like a rocket.
It’s do or die.
— — — — —
Jonathan-Christopher has coping mechanisms at his disposal.
He just hopes they work.
In the outpatient unit, JC was given a large notebook of numerous resources to complete at his leisure or when struggling significantly. Flipping to page 54 of the manual, Hall’s eyes fall upon the ‘positivity journal’.
Jonathan-Christopher’s going to need a lot of positivity in order to even approach the topic of Ivan Stanislav so he better start working on one of the exercises A-SAP. The film crew has unloaded their equipment. A three-camera team, plus a director, has been booked to follow them around for the next four weeks. What happens if Jonathan-Christopher loses to Ivan? What comes next if he’s unsuccessful during any of these vital steps?
It’s a thought Hall can’t allow.
JC pulls out a pen. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and spends the next hour working on changing his negative thoughts, in the hopes this won’t merely launch his wrestling career but also make his wonderful woman the happiest individual alive.
— — — — —
Page 54
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Purpose: Identify some of your negative thoughts. Write them down. Then think about how you can change these negative thoughts into positives.
NEGATIVE THOUGHT
I suck at wrestling
CHANGE TO POSITIVE THOUGHT
I have four singles victories
NEGATIVE THOUGHT
I am going to lose to Ivan Stanislav
CHANGE TO POSITIVE THOUGHT
I could beat Ivan Stanislav?
NEGATIVE THOUGHT
I am not good enough for Vickie
CHANGE TO POSITIVE THOUGHT
I don’t know how to answer this, I need her, I love her, she is my everything, I can’t lose her
— — — — —
Page 54 was tough. Maybe Jonathan-Christopher can do better on page 55?
— — — — —
Page 55
POSITIVELY WONDERFUL
I AM GOOD AT…
-loving my Amazing Life Partner
-listening to her needs
-being there for whatever she desires
-trying real hard at wrestling because she loves wrestling
-wanting to be the best version I can be for her
POSITIVE THOUGHTS I HAD THIS WEEK…
-Vickie loves me
-she wants to broadcast our love story to everyone in the world which means she loves me
-she believes I will make it to the Universal Title, that means I have the skills
I AM PROUD THAT…
-I have Vickie as my spouse
MY [ALP] THINKS I AM…
-wonderful
-a winner
-going to make her wildest dreams come true
— — — — —
A little better. Jonathan-Christopher will try one more page.
— — — — —
Page 55
POSITIVE THINKING PLEASE
Complete the sentences with a positive ending as shown in this example:
I DON’T FEEL LIKE GOING BUT I’LL… put a smile on my face and give it my best shot!
THE [MATCH] WILL BE HARD BUT… I will always give it my all. Every match I give it my all. I try so hard for Vickie, I love her so much, I don’t want to let her down. Because of this I wrestle as if my next match is the last I’ll ever have. It’s my one chance to show Vickie what she means to me. I know I will give 100% against Ivan.
I’LL SUCCEED IF… I lean on my wrestling strengths. I’m much quicker than Ivan. I have a lot more heart. I wrestle with love in my soul. I am not out to hurt anyone else, my only goal of wrestling is to make my woman happy. I can succeed if I allow love in my heart for her and nothing more. I need to stay focused and true to myself.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I’LL… always love Vickie. She is my lifeblood. I can get another opportunity for titles in the future, it’s not like there are a limited amount of title shots. This isn’t the end of the world, it’s the current chance I have. It doesn’t mean they run out.
I MAY NOT BE PERFECT BUT… I can wrestle. I’ve learned a lot in the past year. I scored a victory over Cancer Jiles, not many others can say this. Vickie believes in me, she thinks I’m perfect. She really thinks I’m going to beat Ivan Stanislav and she watches a lot of wrestling. This counts for something, it has to. I give everything to my Amazing Life Partner, that should be good enough.
SOMETIMES I HAVE DAYS LIKE THIS BUT… I can overcome. I’ve been scared before. I was scared of Jiles and I beat him. I was scared of Bobby Dean and I beat him. I was scared of joining a wrestling company but I did it. I can out-think the negativity in my head.
EVEN THOUGH I’M DISAPPOINTED, I’LL… pick myself up like the last time and the time before that. I can’t say his name but I was destroyed when I lost the Almasy Tournament. I was kicked off Survivor immediately. I am still in PRIME, I am still wrestling, I am still alive, I am still present. I HAVE MY VICKIE!
— — — — —
Hall Penthouse Suite
Las Vegas, NV
June 10, 2023
09:00
The clapping hasn’t stopped in some time.
“Again! Again! Again!” She beckons, as he waltzes into the room wearing his brand new suit. They picked it up yesterday. Vickie chose it.
PRETTY PINK© howls. It’s the loudest howl yet. In fact, if their bedroom wasn’t so sound proof, the neighbours beside and below might be calling in a noise complaint.
“Say the line, baby! Oh my gosh, say it!!”
He slides across the floor, stopping right in front of the bed. He’s facing the wall but then he slowly cocks his head around and shifts his eyebrows up and down.
“I Russian Bear,” Jonathan-Christopher announces, in the best Ivan Stanislav impersonation he can cobble together. “I coming for you!”
She is having the time of her life. Laughter turns to crying, crying turns to excitement. Vickie feels a rush of emotions, she doesn’t know what to make sense of.
Jonathan-Christopher raises his right arm as he starts to “claw” in Vickie’s direction. He takes a moment, however, to readjust the bear suit with his left hand. That’s right, The Timid Tiger is now the Russian Love Bear. A brown bear suit, complete with claws, ears and a nose.
Vickie pats the empty space beside her.
“Come over here my big Russian teddy…” she exclaims, contemplating what’s about to come. “That fucking prick encroached on OUR locker room time together, I can’t wait to see fuckface get what he deserves.”
Vic pauses and takes in the outcome.
“LOSING.”
She’s in a zone, a spiteful zone. It’s the side of Vickie that Jonathan-Christopher finds the most rattling, since it signifies this has gotten personal.
“I told the ESPN crew what we’ll name our 30 For 30,” she declares. “From Russia With Love. The start of your REAL journey begins by obliterating that MOTHER FUCKER WHO WALKED INTO OUR LOCKER ROOM. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! DEATH TO IVAN!!”
JC forces a smile across his face. And while he hasn’t joined Vickie on their bed yet, he’s trying to think as positively as possible. Because if he doesn’t… all the equipment in wait, outside their bedroom door, may go for nothing.
The vigor in her voice, the pure frustration she has for a man who had the audacity to burst into their locker room and belittle her Amazing Life Partner to the point of peeing his pants…
Jonathan-Christopher thinks back to his mental health exercises. He didn’t need to attend his meth rehabilitation program this week. He simply needed to look deeper inside himself…
And pull out what he’s capable of.
“My honey bunch of oats…” Vickie says, breaking JC’s concentration. “Before you come over and sit beside me, can you, ya know, do the Russian Bear entrance one more time?”
Jonathan-Christopher nods. “Anything for you, my dear. I love you.”
Vickie braces herself for another big scene, one where her man explodes into their bedroom and prances across the floor. They’ll continue to make fun of Ivan. They’ll bury his name. After the match, they’ll add the bear suit next to Jiles’ t-shades and white haired wig.
Jonathan-Christopher makes his way back to the doorway.
“Honey,” he raises his voice, as she immediately glances over. “I just need a quick drink of water, okay?”
“Hurry back, baby!” She replies with a sense of anticipation.
“Russian Bear be right there!” Jonathan-Christopher responds in the accent.
He can hear her giggling from their bedsheets, as JCH makes a dash towards the bathroom. He’s going to stay positive, he’s going to think of all the things he can do to win this upcoming match.
But first, he’s going to throw-up.
Because deep down inside, he also can’t forget…
7’1”
400 pounds.
Who knows, by the time Jonathan-Christopher makes it to the bathroom, he might have even pissed himself, again.