HIS NAME IS JONATHAN-CHRISTOPHER
Posted on 04/02/22 at 5:44pm by Jonathan-Christopher Hall
Event: CULTURE SHOCK 2022
HIS NAME IS JONATHAN-CHRISTOPHER
A love story
A more in-depth look
Your next 5-Star Champ
— — — — —
Las Vegas, NV
March 5, 2022
Were they dreaming? They had to be. Jonathan-Christopher and Vickie walk hand-in-hand out the elevator and down the penthouse hallway. The smile on her face is of pleasure, thoroughly content from the events of last night. Her man, fresh off their debut victory with the odds stacked against them. They overcame, they overwhelmed and they most certainly helped take the first step towards a magnificent tale they can’t wait to tell inside the wrestling genre. Where the same four corners are constantly bombarded with nothing but horror stories, their journey will change the complexion of the industry forever.
She’s seen it. She knows wrestling inside and out. It’s something she loved at an early age. He, however, a virgin to the canvas and ring ropes, unknowingly following his Amazing Life Partner to the depths of her passion. It was a new world to him but she would guide him. She has watched countless promotions, matches and storylines unfold. She knew wrestling’s faults. Better yet, she knew what the sport was missing. Them. And they would succeed collectively.
Upon reaching their apartment, she locates a keychain from her pocket with a free hand and passes it to her man. Unwilling to release their interlocked fingers, Jonathan-Christopher reaches over and gently takes the keys with his left index finger and thumb. The Vow of Virtue attempts to find the door key but is fumbling around. It’s a struggle as the keys rest in his palm but only one digit flips through the chain. Life would be easier if he simply released his right hand and used both. Ah, but of course, life is already easier because he is feeling emotionally connected right now, having exact contact with his true and forever sweetie. Physical closeness, actual touching of their extremities is a required security for her… for them. If it takes longer to open the front door, so be it.
“Honey, can you hurry up?” She giggles playfully but it creates a sense of anxiety in Jonathan-Christopher, causing him to inadvertently stall. “I need to take a tinkle.”
She lowers her base, squeezing her legs. He’s in a furious rush to not upset the moment. But he is. And he can’t find the key.
She unlocks her hand and is able to locate the door key rather quickly, letting out a minor huff in the process. Jonathan-Christopher’s face is red. He knows he’s at fault and apologizes before Vickie opens the door and scoots inside. It’s like she didn’t hear him. There, he is left at their doorstep, trembling. Alone. Wondering how he will make up for this later. And he will try his darnedest. He ruined things big time. Their relationship, now on the rocks. How could Vickie put up with a klutz? He had taken such an authentic moment, a wonderfully fresh exploration into their partnership by completing their debut with a victory, only to now isolate her from a basic level need like using the bathroom. When she returns, he will apologize further. He has to, it’s vital. He can’t believe he didn’t say more before she left. Tears swell up in his eyes, his hands shake wildly. So broken. So lost. Where will he go? She was The One. He ruined it all. He has never felt this type of stress before. Digging his fingertips into the back of his neck, he grasps tightly, as if applying pressure is going to calm him down. He knows it won’t. A tear rolls down his cheek.
There she is, emerging from the hallway and walking towards him. She seems calm. As if nothing ever happened.
“My baby,” she begins, wrapping her arms around him. He promptly relaxes, understanding he may have exaggerated. What a relief, she still loves him. Nothing major will come of this. “I missed you so much in there, baby.”
They rub their noses together. It’s not clear if she recognizes he was crying.
“I need you on the keys faster next time, honey,” she notes playfully and releases her grip from his waist. She saunters into the hallway; he finally removes his shoes, closes the front door and walks inside. He scrambles to catch up, not wanting to miss a minute of their collective time. He makes a play for her hand. He grabs it. He’s feeling more comfortable by the second. How silly was he a moment ago?
The Pretty Pink Girl walks into their living room and opens the blinds. Warmth swoops in. She is feeling divine right now. At last, she dives into his arms and he hugs her tight. They stare at each other. He knows her body language well. He even strokes his hair.
“Oh, dearest Jonathan-Christopher, how I adore your wonderful name,” she begins. “And how I treasure our moments together.”
“I love you baby,” he replies on the spot. She closes her eyes and sways her head from side to side. He is a lucky man. She is a lucky lady. They have captured magic in a bottle.
“My little yummy oats darling,” she scrunches her nose, looking for validation of the new, playful nickname she’s given him.
“What is your plan for the rest of the day?” She wonders out loud but before he can open his mouth, she already knows what it entails. She lays it out for him. After all, their souls are connected so she can talk for him, too. “You’re going to the gym at 9am? And then you’ll be back here to cuddle the afternoon away by noon on the spot?”
Looking for confirmation, Jonathan-Christopher nods immediately. Upon receiving her answer, she sways her head around again, from left to right, right to left, eyes closed, beginning to move her hips. They now rock collectively. She rests her head on his chest, a much shorter person than he. It’s a reminder of their favourite day, their Wedding Day. But they will have new memories to make. Of course, the future will never surpass that wonderful moment when they made an engagement to be one person, one spirit.
He helps guide their romantic dance. He is at peace. In joy. With love.
— — — — —
REAL RESULTS Fitness (Gym)
Las Vegas, NV
March 20, 2022
The locally owned and operated fitness center holds all the typical items of a corporate run gym, with the feel and appeal of a family-first environment. While everything is housed under a large rectangular room, there is ample space for a solid gathering of meatheads to get their daily lifts in. However, early weekends don’t see much traffic. Some may even say this is a PRIME time to get your routines in. Some may say. Jonathan-Christopher says Vickie does not enjoy making jokes with low hanging fruit.
It was hard for JC to drive his arms up. The first nine sets were easy but come the tenth, he’s hit a wall. Try as he might, the Forever Man only has the barbell halfway. Bench pressing is an exercise Jonathan-Christopher excels in. He has solid upper body strength and is currently lifting weights above his class. Maybe he was overconfident on what he could accomplish, maybe he wasn’t concerned either way. Now, however, he thinks of Vickie. He sees her smile, long blonde hair and luscious velvet lipstick, to which she is addicted.
“C’mon brother,” the man above him cheers, spotting Hall perfectly with his hands directly underneath the bar but not touching it. You can tell he really believes in Jonathan-Christopher.
The Vow of Virtue feels Vickie’s unconditional tenderness as he lets out a primal cry. It’s not often he vocalizes himself but with the bar only halfway up, he has to get to ten. For her.
“C’mon man, you can do it, let’s go,” the spotter continues to encourage. Jonathan-Christopher releases a grunt, digs his feet into the floor and pushes with all his might. His arms shake with intensity, sweat pours down his face.
He isn’t able to do it.
“All good,” the spotter changes his tone of voice. He takes hold of the barbell and along with Hall they lower it onto its holding. “You did well, brother.”
Jonathan-Christopher nods, although internally he feels disappointment. “Thank you, Dan.”
Dan smiles in reply before finding his water bottle and spraying blue Gatorade into his mouth.
Dan Celetti is a good man. He knows the ins and outs of powerlifting and how to stay in shape. Jonathan-Christopher has enjoyed being his lifting partner since they moved to Las Vegas two months ago. They had run into each other a few times at the gym, both having a routine of early morning workouts. Dan moved to Vegas in January. Relocating from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, the twenty-one-year-old left his family and friends behind for a job opportunity. Being a prairie’s man with limited resources growing up, Celetti saw a very reserved individual in Jonathan-Christopher. He would see Hall enter the gym, work out and leave. Hall wasted no time and it was a quality Dan admired. Over the past month, the two of them have built a surface-level friendship. Dan carries the discussion, Jonathan-Christopher does a lot of the smile and nodding. But there’s an understanding.
“You’re a tank, buddy,” Celetti exclaims, patting his partner on the back. “Let’s move to squats.”
Jonathan-Christopher appreciates the sentiment, though he doesn’t feel like a tank. This terminology is new to Hall. While blessed with the aforementioned upper body strength, staying in physical wrestling shape is an entirely new experience.
The team walks into an open space. Dan sets up the barbell and reminds Hall of their goals for this next lift.
“We’re going above your weight class by one notch, alright?” He announces with a wink.
As one half of ALP reaches down to pick up the barbell, the front door to the gym opens and in slips a tiny woman dressed in hot pink from head to toe. She wears a flowery sun hat also in pink, likely not meant for March degree weather, even in Vegas. Regardless, it does not take her long to find whom she is searching for.
“ONE!” Celetti begins counting.
She takes a dainty stroll past the stationary bicycles, locked on her target with a rather large looking bag in hand. Meanwhile, Jonathan-Christopher is in the middle of his lift.
Dan provides encouragement. He’s there to spot and to ensure Hall’s back is straight.
The Forever Man is gettin’ ‘er done.
The Pretty Pink Girl approaches the duo. She swings her shopping bag around and smiles brightly, taking space on the bench in front of them. She removes her sun hat with a very cautious index finger and pinky lifted in the opposite direction.
“Quality Time!” For such a little lady, her voice booms within the walls of REAL RESULTS. Instantaneously, Jonathan-Christopher stops in the middle of his lift and sets the barbell down. Dan is perplexed, unsure of what’s happening.
The Vow of Virtue doesn’t need to make eye contact, he knows the voice and where she resides.
“Hi, baby,” she leans forward. They share a kiss as Jonathan-Christopher sits beside her. Celetti is still piecing together the last ten seconds.
For a moment, the Woman of Wonder eyes Dan. Her bushy and unkempt eyebrows, which could easily give actor Eugene Levy’s a run for his money, wiggle up and down as she does.
“You must be Celetti,” she says sternly, with an over intoxicated charm and voice inflection in all the wrong places. “I have heard sooo much! My Jonathan-Christopher enjoys his workouts with you!”
Celetti is appreciative, fitting right into the Canadian stereotype. “Well thank you very much. Clearly, you are Vickie. Jonathan-Christopher has nothing but positive things to say.”
“I would certainly hope so,” Vickie is quick on the rebuttal, placing a soft kiss on Jonathan-Christopher’s neck before rubbing his knee with a free hand. “I am quite the doll.”
Dan stands there, minorly uncomfortable but wouldn’t say it.
“Hey Dan,” Vic begins openly, “would you mind giving us some space? It’s Quality Time.”
A little strange for this to be happening in the middle of their workout session but the modest Canadian won’t argue.
“Sometimes we just can’t get enough of each other,” The Timid Tiger adds, interlocking his right hand with hers.
“Jonathan-Christopher and I have made a commitment that whenever we need time together, we make ourselves available,” she remarks, finishing her ALP’s initial thought. “Wherever the place, no matter what, Quality Time is the absolute paramount Love Language.”
Celetti would not mean to intrude. He raises his arms politely and says his goodbyes. After Dan turns away, Vickie opens the shopping bag.
“Honey, I have the most quaint little number that’s going to look so divine on you for Culture Shock,” she promotes with vigor, reaching into the bag. “Well actually, I have three luxurious choices and want you to have the final say.”
Vickie reveals custom pairs of board shorts, likely made for Hall at a local athletic manufacturer.
ONE, an orange/white paint splash design on a black background with cupid arrows inside every splash.
TWO, plain, yet crisp, baby blue shorts with Jonathan-Christopher’s name spelled out on the back in white.
THREE, a neon purple unicorn on the right hand side of lime green board shorts, vomiting different coloured hearts everywhere.
Vickie watches her man as he carefully combs through the selections.
“Well?” She wonders, once again her thick eyebrows bouncing up and down.
He should have made his choice already.
“I really enjoy the baby blue,” he replies with added confidence, reaching out and taking hold. “My favourite colour is blue.”
There is no immediate response. Jonathan-Christopher turns to his ALP. She merely eyes the pairs of shorts over…
And then reaches for the unicorn ones.
Vickie starts to giggle. “I always thought this was funny.”
Pretty Pink continues to stare at the unicorn, ultimately captivated by its humour. While Jonathan-Christopher is unsure if he finds it funny, he looks at Vickie holding the rainbow shorts and then considers his option.
“I am absolutely flabbergasted by the multitude of colours,” Vickie says, running her hand across the material.
There is no further discussion. Jonathan-Christopher places the baby blue shorts back to where he found them. He wraps his hands around his woman and places kisses on her cheek.
“I love them,” he pronounces, as Vickie leans her head back and closes her eyes.
“And I love you, baby,” she confirms. “And I love you.”
— — — — —
Hello there. I am aware I haven’t said much. Usually I let my adoring ALP speak on my behalf but when someone knows you inside and out, it’s okay to relinquish your voice because it is never lost. She carries the burden of two people’s desires. Yet it is not a burden if you are in love. It is not a burden if your thoughts are purely aligned.
I’ve heard fans and wrestlers alike weigh in on Jonathan-Christopher Hall. These comments are often rude, thoughtless and ultimately ignorant. Then again, I don’t expect anybody to understand what true devotion looks like.
Do I care for wrestling? No, I do not. I couldn’t tell you a headlock from a hammer throw.
Do I care for championships? No, I do not. What’s the difference between 5 Star and Universal?
Then I met her.
My teddybear. My sweetheart.
Laugh. Ridicule. If your heart truly beats in rhythm with another, you may be able to understand what I mean. When I first laid eyes on her, I felt an instantaneous connection. She, born of a rich, purebred family and I, a lonely workaholic 9-5 business type, knowing nothing more than the paperwork in front of me. She showed me what it’s like to love, cherish and understand. Her, having a passion for wrestling and me, wanting to subscribe to her every desire. I would undertake her fantasy; I would pledge to her future. The little girl inside who dreamed of becoming the most prolific wrestling manager in history. I would make it a reality, as she has made mine a mystical adventure.
Heck, I cannot tell you the difference between an exploder or t-bone suplex but I am trying. Only for her.
I do not care about sport. Wins and losses, interchangeable. I could reside in PRIME, Classic or 5 Burrows, I would not know the difference. These organizations mean a context to my ALP, though. By association, they mean a context to me.
Love is the epitome of why we walk this earth. Hollywood movies include romantic interests across all genres, billboards fill with lyrical stories of broken hearts, lasting soulmates and forbidden desires. I have watched this wrestling world. There are not enough romantic undertones when it comes to an unadulterated commitment. Friends inevitably turn on each other, relationships split in the blink of an eye. It’s because true love in this genre does not exist. To wrestle and have loyalty at the same time is not compatible. Fighting and physiological intimacy with another human can’t be done. Structurally, wrestling and deep affections won’t intertwine.
It is because humankind is selfish, not selfless.
My adoring ALP and I are here to show you we are the exception. A mutually exclusive Hallmark journey can be true.
To Cecilia – born and bred to a physical frame where finding The One is likely impossible, your disposition gives us empathy. Your attitude and personality do not. You will never find what you are looking for. You are a broken young woman and the sooner you understand your lack of purity, the greater chance you’ll have at surviving a mediocre adulthood. Sure, lovers will come and go from your bedposts and you will have moments where you believe it is real. But a woman like you is fleeting. Look at your aunt, your father. It runs in the family.
To Shawn – a fighter, traveler. I find those who scale the world from head to toe are often searching for something they cannot find, hoping to replace the emptiness inside themselves but never being able to. Who was the name of The One that broke your heart? There is no judgment here. You are vacant. Adding another championship title to your trophy case is not going to free yourself of this feeling. Besides, the only fuzz I’ve been known to find is of the peach variety on her velvet cheeks, the ones I kiss softly before we slumber together.
To Rezin –
To Hayes Hanlon – What a mistake you are making, to bring your over-the-top energy and commitment into an organization and not an organism. PRIME cannot love you back like another human. It does not keep you warm at night, it is nothing to look forward to. You are a foolish man to follow this company so closely. Let me ask you something Hayes, after you lose at Culture Shock, what will PRIME tell you? Will the ring ropes tuck you in at night? Will the canvas keep you warm? Will the pyro understand your deepest fears? Right, you have the spectacle. I’m sure it will be there for you when you retire. The spectacle won’t move on. I believe you understood a portion of this reality after losing in the second round of the tournament. Boy, this had to sting for a man so infatuated with the grandiose extravaganza. I could go on, my naïve colleague. You are in a one-way relationship with something that is not real. Go ahead, lash out.
Jonathan-Christopher will meet the three of you very shortly. I will welcome you to witness first hand just how deep Vickie and I’s waters run. I will feed off our devotion. I will sustain to her love. I will make her visions real.
I don’t expect you to understand. To be honest, I would be surprised if any of you did. Anger and confusion, these are the likely responses Vickie told me would transpire. It means jealousy.
And there’s a lot to be jealous of.
But since my opponents can’t grasp the reality of true commitment, I will make sure we take the object that doesn’t matter to me but I know matters to them.
Friday, April 8, 2022.
My name is Jonathan-Christopher.
I am 5-Star material.
You may kiss the champion.