Jonathan-Christopher Hall
Hallmark Journey @LoversInADangerousTime
Hello JABBERS! Don’t forget to stop by the LOVE CONVOY today, tomorrow, or any day actually. We’re here! We have a hot tub! It’s super warm outside but it’s super warm INSIDE! And REAL LOVE Darin Zion is in there! Let’s go have fun in the hot tub and push our message, TRUE LOVE MATTERS. We have been held back and love needs to thrive in PRIME, not be extinguished. PRIME is trying to limit our voices! How is this allowed? We thought PRIME was going to provide the wrestling world with a new direction. It has not. It has muffled us. It has crippled us. It has triggered us. There’s lots of negativity in PRIME. Come help us intensify this voice further. HOT TUB. TRUE LOVE. Grab a sign and stand up for us! We stand up for you! Come see us anytime like right now would be guud! See U Soon! #ALP #LOVECONVOY2022 #HONK4LOVE #CANTSILENCEOUREMOTIONALCONNECTION #PRIMEWrestling #LINDSAYTROYISABOOB
Hollz @luchadorsareneat
Replying to @LoversInADangerousTime
Get this CULT outta here!
Hallmark Journey @LoversInADangerousTime
Replying to @luchadorsareneat
We are not a cult! We are TRUE LOVE!
Rawb @rawbiswar
Replying to @LoversInADangerousTime
You’re a cult
Bork Esttel @penguinsfan101
Replying to @LoversInADangerousTime
Pretty sure you’re trying to be a cult
Totally Not a Burner Account @hallsjourney4love
Replying to @LoversInADangerousTime
LOVE CONVOY! Honk honk!
THE POWER OF LOVE
A true love story
An honest friendship
Don’t need money, don’t need fame, just need my ALP to ride this train
— — — — —
LOVE CONVOY
(Across the street from the MGM Grand Garden Arena)
Las Vegas, NV
May 13, 2022
12:00
Tumbleweeds. If downtown Las Vegas had tumbleweeds.
They’ve been here all week and the week before that, too. Vickie Hall, her Amazing Life Partner, Jonathan-Christopher and his best friend, Darin Zion.
They haven’t met a soul who lasted more than an hour. And even then, they were only here for the hot tub.
Vickie sways from side to side, holding in an internal rage. Her man grips those LOVE CONVOY signs, ready to distribute at a moment’s notice. He actually handed out one on Monday but then saw what the homeless man used it for and it’s best to keep this Hallmark Journey PG. Vickie has been severely triggered since the events.
How could the LOVE CONVOY do them wrong? PRIME was one thing, it was run by a mom and not a fun mom, either. But the LOVE CONVOY…
“Hang in there, baby,” Jonathan-Christopher tries to stay positive. When he sees the Woman of Wonder struggling, he knows it’s his time to step up. “We can continue to shout our message.”
Vickie turns to The Timid Tiger, as if her eyes could shoot lasers. If she wasn’t so in love, she’d destroy anyone who would dare intervene when she’s clearly rattled.
“Now, Jonathan-Christopher,” she starts sternly. “How can we do such a thing when everyone is WALKING PAST US?”
Pretty Pink has hit her breaking point. She shakes with terror. The thought of failure once again… and so quickly.
Darin Zion pops up from the hot tub.
“Hey, Vickie. How about I STRIP SHOW for the ladies out there!?” He bellows. Vickie looks over. One could assume there couldn’t be a more anxiety stricken look than the demeanor Vic displays on her face already… until Zion said those words. DZ leaps upright from the tub. He takes hold of his swimming trunks in an attempt to tear them off before crashing back into the bubbly warmth.
“NO! OH MY FUCKING GOD, NO!” Vickie shrieks and covers her eyes. Jonathan-Christopher is a deer in the headlights. He can’t do anything. He has to witness… it. He sees it in all its glory.
Except Zion was just kidding. He lands in the water again and rolls his eyes.
“Okay, okay, I won’t,” he replies with a wink towards his ‘best friend’. “Although JC didn’t look away.”
Vickie lowers her head in shame. “He is NOT JC. His name is Jonathan-Christopher. Please call him by his preferred name, his real name.”
For a tag team that’s 3-0 and rolled through two former World Champions and the other outcasts of SurViVor, you’d never guess it. While 2Become1 have been successful in the ring, they might as well have lost every match so far. Their manager is falling apart at the seams.
Jonathan-Christopher attempts to hold a smile across his face, one of the cheesiest and more insincere smiles as a pack of people pass through.
“Nice hot tub,” one of the guys notes while strolling by.
“Thank you,” Jonathan-Christopher replies. “Care to jump in… or would you like to have a sign and stay a while?”
The man shakes his head. “No dude, I’m good. Gonna go get shitfaced and gamble but thanks anyway.”
Vickie smacks her ALP on the arm.
“You need to try harder, Jonathan-Christopher.”
“I’m sorry.”
And the frustration grows…
— — — — —
Seriously, what the fuck in an Egg Bandit!? And why would you hire one!? For fuck sakes, I don’t see those men wearing leotards. Neither do they take eggs from the rich and give them to the poor. And thank the Lord Jesus Christ no one gave them a medical degree. Ain’t no way in hell they should operate an in vitro fertilization clinic. God only knows what monstrosity they would create if held that kind of power.
For the last three years, I’ve racked my brain wondering how they got that name. It makes no sense they are together in the first place. All the Hall-Marks and Zi-lenials wonder how the fuck a Greek God, a f-list rapper and Pizza the Hutt formed a tag team. They never oozed a drop of wrestling talent. 99.9% of the time, I beat them without a single ounce of help. Hell, I’ve left them, turned over easy, burnt to a crisp in the Yueling Center once. Yet for some reason these fuckers walk the earth like Aphrodite cursed them. Earth doesn’t want them, Hell doesn’t want them and neither does Heaven.
I’ll tell you who wants them. Morons. My friend Christine from Miami would pay a hefty sum of cash if Bobby Dean retires tomorrow. For some odd reason, she likes watching Bobby’s tits jiggle like Jello. For some reason, she begs me to pass on the message that Booby Dean should start an OnlyFans. It’s a fantastic idea! Booby Dean makin’ money doin’ something where he excels. That’s what REAL LOVE… TOUGH LOVE tells you.
He should leave Doozer and Jiles behind. Jiles can’t keep World Titles the same way he can’t keep friends. And well… who the hell knows when Doozer will disappear again. Only a matter of time. Tick tock. Maybe Doozer can become a magician at the MGM Grand to save face. Maybe Jiles can open a diner and shuck eggs out his ass. I don’t know, but I still question why the fuck PRIME would hire them as wrestlers. Let alone put them in the ring with the LOVE CONVOY.
I DOTH PROTEST THEM! Their wrestling offends the chicken community. We here at 2Become1 Industries love the chicken community. We’re a progressive lot and we demand they rename their shitty ass tag team immediately. Maybe they could be called the Bundt Cake Bastards or Booby’s Angels. Something that better reflects their name and talent or lack thereof. After all, if they make people laugh, you might as well name them something funnier.
I could go on more of a tangent about my feelings. But deep inside, I know PRIME doesn’t LOVE me like I LOVE me. PRIME won’t take any of my considerations seriously. Only my best friend, JC Hall and his wife Vickie take me seriously. And that’s the power of love right there.
In their name, I’ll scramble those Egg Children and turn them into a breakfast burrito. This is what Jonathan-Christopher and I will do. We’re bringing our damn skillets out and gonna serve the best egg related dish to the Las Vegas crowd. Because we LOVE EVERYONE equally…
EXCEPT FOR THOSE OFFENSIVE EGG BANDITS!
Honestly, Vickie’s triggered just thinking about them. And she’s been triggered a lot lately.
Sincerely Yours,
REAL LOVE Darin Zion
— — — — —
LOVE CONVOY
Las Vegas, NV
May 13, 2022
14:00
“Look at these gross, hideous freaks of nature,” Vickie says, holding up the mug shots of Barry Delgado, Trent Sadikaj, Bobby Dean and a blank picture. Darin Zion conveys a pukey face and almost makes himself throw up at the sight of them.
“What a fucking waste,” REAL LOVE snaps, still resting in the hot tub as Jonathan-Christopher leans against the structure and Vickie stands in front of them.
“It hurts me so much these teams made it further than… us,” Vickie’s voice trails. She’s trying to keep her anger to a minimum.
“It hurts me, it hurts you so much, butter muffin,” Jonathan-Christopher pussyfoots the words across, wanting to reach out for Pretty Pink’s hand but she pulls away, drawing her arms into her body.
“Jonathan-Christopher, I’m going to need you to step up in this next contest, baby,” Vickie remarks. “Darin has been doing most of the grunt work. The teams in front of you may be large, ugly men but they will pack a punch. You’re going to need to carry your weight.”
Anxiety strikes The Timid Tiger with full force. The pit of his stomach sinks and his heart leaps into his throat. Stress looms over the Amazing Life Partner who most certainly does not feel anything close to amazing at the moment. He knows his best friend has captured the pinfalls in their two recent matches. The Vow of Virtue feels like a failure. It’s even worse when he thought they were successful but now he sees the reality in front of him.
Vickie lets her words dive into her man’s psyche once more before carrying on as if the last interaction never took place.
“Darin, I’m going to need you to hit the eGG Bandits hard. You know them best,” but before she can finish, DZ intervenes.
“I do. Fuck the Bandits,” Zion declares, rubbing his hands together in the tub. “Bobby gets the attention and why? He’s a sweat hog. He’s not like REAL LOVE.”
Zion flexes for nobody other than himself.
“Bobby can’t get NO love.”
“Yes,” Vickie is quick to move on. “Make sure Bobby is the one who spends the majority of his time inside the ring. The rapper is hit and miss but if he brings it, he can wrestle with the best of them. I have watched all of you very closely in High Octane Wrestling. When the Bandits are presented with a real opportunity, they have the potential to surprise.”
“Not on our watch,” Jonathan-Christopher tries to fight through the anxiety and adds his two cents. Vickie turns to her ALP, cracking a smile. This immediately soothes the Forever Man. He calms down and reaches for her hand. This time, Vic allows Jonathan-Christopher to graze it before pulling her left arm into her body. Thankfully, a little is a lot for the man from Folsom, LA.
“Jonathan-Christopher,” Technically, Vickie doesn’t need to address him by name because she always has captured his attention. “The big boys are going to be too difficult for you to suplex or take off their feet. Keep them on the canvas. Ground them. Use your various DDT knowledge.”
Although the Woman of Wonder can be an absolute handful for… well, everyone, it’s clear she knows her wrestling. As Jonathan-Christopher has said before, her first love was wrestling. Now she is living the dream, only in a nightmare scenario where no support is given to the Hall’s.
The Vow of Virtue nods to his ALP. However, from her facial expressions it seems like Vic wants a stronger confirmation.
“I understand, baby,” he replies.
“I love it when you call me baby,” she reminds him.
And obviously Jonathan-Christopher is all in.
“I love you so much, baby. I am so so sorry I disappointed you in our previous matches. I feel just awful about how things are going, or not going, with the LOVE CONVOY. Baby, I just want you to be happy,” he states.
Vickie tilts her head and closes her eyes. She soaks in these words and finds the little girl inside of her, who will either accept this statement as caring or explain she may need additional signs of validation.
Jonathan-Christopher waits with bated breath. Literally. He’s rather shook. Meanwhile, Darin Zion limbers up in the hot tub.
Finally, the woman with the bushy eyebrows opens her eyes and brings her head forward. She walks up to Jonathan-Christopher and wraps her arms around him.
“Oh how I love you, my Amazing Life Partner,” she affirms.
“And I love you,” Jonathan-Christopher is enthralled.
“I know you are under a lot of stress,” she explains, looking up to her man. “I can feel it. I know you like to go for walks. They calm you down. You have my permission to go for a brief walk and then return here pronto. We will promote the LOVE CONVOY further. I am feeling much more positive at this moment.”
The Forever Man smiles and kisses his spouse on the top of her forehead.
“Anything for you, baby,” he says. “Anything.”
— — — — —
Hello there Barry and Trent,
Our paths have not crossed yet. I don’t mind the odd rock ‘n roll song but I prefer romantic music so I can slow dance with my sweetie. She is my rolling stone, little love beatle and Pretty Pink floyd. She is my queen. Those may be referencing the top rock ‘n roll bands of all time but I can assure you in the wrestling ring, you are not one of the top tag teams. My best friend, Darin Zion and I have continued our Forever Journeys. We’ve defeated world champions and a bunch of wannabes.
So you are the next batch to be booted from SurViVor. Do you know that Darin and I were also booted? We were kicked out of the MGM Atrium to add insult to injury. Now 2Become1 take this nightmare out on the rest of PRIME, in order to find our wonderful day dream to the top of the tag team mountain. My Amazing Life Partner, Vickie, may seem out of sorts but the LOVE CONVOY will be successful. It will feed off our victories inside the ring.
I am not a shallow person. Neither is Vickie. We see what’s inside each human being. For we cannot be asked to be born into an ugly frame, even if this is what the two of you have been gifted. Disgusting, disgruntled vessels, which deserve to be parked in front of a keyboard, trolling people online as opposed to standing across the ring from thoroughbreds. Add Bobby Dean to the mix and we have quite the horrific view on our hands. Don’t worry, I will make sure Vickie is nowhere nearby so she doesn’t have to view you loathsome waste bags.
Until you boys are able to lose weight and hide those hairy armpits, I’m afraid you’re going to get another rude awakening next week.
It’s never the genre of music that matters, it’s the person who’s composing it and the couple in love who dances. After ReVival 8 there is no doubt about it, Darin and I hold the baton in our hands. Vickie and I will hold each other, lovingly. And you two will dance, puppets, dance.
To the power of love.
-Jonathan-Christopher Hall
— — — — —
BAE
iMessage
Today (05/13/22) 3:07pm
thats quite a long walk ur on baby-
r u coming back anytime soon lol-
helllooooooooo-
Jonathan-Christopher u still should be by ur phone u no-
ugh baby i need to knw ur there-
gosh golly sometimes i wonder-
-Hey sorry I am here!
-You type too quickly sometimes, I saw all the messages coming in!
-I’ve been working on keeping my phone directly connected on my walks.
baby i don;t understand r u saying i should type slowr?-
-OMG no baby, I am so sorry I didn’t mean it like that.
i would hope not baby-
i still need you to respond faster next time on first message OK-
i need 2 feel safe OK-
-Ok baby sorry.
Ok-
3:12pm
-Baby I am sorry please don’t go silent on me.
-I just meant I was watching your messages come in.
-I realize I should have been quicker on replying and not only reading when you’re struggling.
-I know these past few weeks have been hard on you and the LOVE CONVOY comes first.
-Our tag matches come after.
-I am so so sorry.
3:15pm
-I’m coming back now to make it up to you.
im having a weird day-
-What’s up baby?
oh , nothing major-
just missing your presence that’s all-
-Well I’m coming back and will give you a big hug.
-I am power walking to you.
can u sprint?-
need my baby-
-Anything for you I will sprint.
ok great where are you?-
how close?-
baby?-
helllooooo?-
3:18pm
-OMG I am so sorry I put my phone in my pocket to start running.
and you stopped running now to text me?-
hurry back plz-
-Shit you’re right, sorry. Okay I will be there in two minutes.
hey honey plz dont swear u no it triggers me-
i guess since you’re not there rite now i will go to our 3way chat w/ Zion-
— — — — —
My ALP & His Bestie
iMessage
Today (05/13/22) 3:19pm
hey Zion r u there?-
–BAE:
Hey, check this out I can both run AND text at the same time!
oh good baby-
glad it works for u-
–BAE:
I love you!
were is zion???-
–BAE:
Be there in one minute, I see you down the street do you see me?
-REAL LOVE DZ:
Hell yes! I see you, JC! Let’s get the led out!
Darin plz call him by his full name-
-REAL LOVE DZ:
Right. Jon-Chris, break a sweat let’s go bro!
— — — — —
LOVE CONVOY
Las Vegas, NV
May 13, 2022
15:20
A red faced Jonathan-Christopher arrives at the LOVE CONVOY. Darin Zion remains in the hot tub and Vickie leans up beside it, watching videos on her phone. JC looks like he has something to say but he can’t get the words out yet since he is absolutely spent from sprinting. While the odd person walks by, no one pays much attention to the PRIME talent.
“I- I have it,” Jonathan-Christopher finds some of the words. “I know what to do. Baby, I know what to do.”
At first, Vickie remains interested in the video on her phone although she slowly raises her eyes and looks at her man.
“What is it, darling?”
“I-” JCH spoke a little too soon. He needs another deep breath. “I know how we can make the LOVE CONVOY a can’t miss event.”
Vickie’s attention is certainly captured. She turns and nudges Zion hard in the shoulder, forcing him to take notice, as well.
“Well, we have to win our match. We have to keep piling up the victories,” Hall announces.
As Jonathan-Christopher says these words, Vickie seems less interested in the prospect of 2Become1 needing to win.
“I don’t understand you, baby,” she explains. But instead, Jonathan-Christopher doesn’t reply. At least not yet. He is certain. He stands in front of Vickie and holds her tight.
“You will understand,” he states. “Trust me. You trust me, right?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you,” Jonathan-Christopher professes.
“Then I trust you.”
A strangely confident smile creeps across the Vow of Virtue’s face. He looks at his best friend. Zion gives a “fuck ya” fist pump and then the Hall’s gaze into each other’s eyes before holding one another as tightly as possible.
With the power of love in his grasp, Jonathan-Christopher knows he will make her dreams come true.
PRIME will be magical.
Much sooner than later.
She asked him to step up, so step up he will.