What’s Love Got To Do…Got To Do With It?

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

It has almost been a month since the last match I fought in PRIME Wrestling.  Yet still no love or respect for the 2Become1 crew.  It has been months since I perched myself outside the MGM Grand fighting for fair wages for 2Become1.  Still nothing from Brock or LT other than scrap matches.

The sweltering summer sun continues to beat down from the Las Vegas sky.  Beads of sweat roll down from my face.  The sun continues to beat down heavily while I saunter along the strip.   And while I’ve pushed along, my body is in excellent shape.   My leg muscles now look toned and defined.  My pale complexion now looks golden tan.  My hair is now a sun-bleached brunette color.  And my God, my arms have swollen from holding the massive protesting sign.

I keep trudging along, singing the song of my people:

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

“Get up! Get down! REAL LOVE has come to town!”

As the crowd around me continues with their days, a sweet, innocent young boy pace closely to the picket lines.  My eyes lock with his before I reach into my knapsack, I keep by near me.  I hand the kid a pink sign before talking to him.  “I appreciate what you’re doing to get the word out around PRIME.  People don’t understand what The Halls and I have done for the tag team division.  We brought it back to life with our sheer talent.”

Without a single amount of hesitation, the kid crumples my sign up and tosses it in the near by trash.  Pointing and chuckling at me, he almost rebukes me.  “Why are you wasting your time with this meaningless protest?!  Didn’t you know PRIME’s got you wrestling in another match this week?  You’re fighting against David Fox.”

Chucking my sign on the ground, my eyes glare a hole in the kid.  With my arms crossed against my chest, I rant on to this innocent 10-year-old child.  “Seriously, you’re going to talk to REAL LOVE Darin Zion like that?  That’s the only quip your snot nosed, punk ass has for The Master of Self-Love?!  Please!  I’ve seen better trash-talk come from Cool Cancer Jiles egg sucking mouth than comes from you.”

“But..but…but…David Fox..”

I shove my hand straight up in the kids face before shooting the kid a dirty look.   I kneel down towards the child’s level and continue giving him a piece of my mind.  “I don’t care what the fuck a David Fox says.  He could go GRRR RRR RR R RR RRRRRNERNER  GNERNERE GERNER and the world wouldn’t care about Fox.  2013 proved to the world why people don’t listen to foxes.  Hell Ylvis wishes he could shut the damn fox up he talked too back then.  Same goes for PRIME’s David Fox.”

I shake my head just planting my palm into my forehead.  “Everything David Fox ever talks about is his tours in other wrestling promotions.  He yammers on about matches from 15 years ago like a washed up hack.   Only losers and virgins do that while chugging yogurt in their Mega-Man shirts in their apartment.  Seriously!  It’s so fuckin’ easy to come up with original content.  We don’t need to watch David Fox and the 10,000 miserable flash backs.  If we needed that, someone would have called Adam Ellis.  Now that’s a man who deserves my attention.  In a couple of weeks, I’m going to cross the line for my PWA cohorts.  I’m going to conquer Mr. Ellis and reclaim my MVW Men’s Heavyweight Championship belt.  And David Fox will become an example to this.    I’m going to take this washed up Fox and skin him.  REAL LOVE’S going to use this poor, woodland creature as an example as to why you shouldn’t cross him.”

The child doesn’t even bat and eye while REAL LOVE tears his hero down another few pegs.  When all of a sudden, some old man walks up to me out of nowhere.  While I am pacing around, rambling out of nowhere, he sticks his foot out and trips me.  REAL LOVE goes tumbling down onto the sidewalk, splitting his nose open.  Leaping up, I get in the man’s face.

“HOW DARE YOU…”

He keeps his composure before responding to me.  “How dare me?!  How dare you, sonny.  I’ve competed in this market for nearly 25 years and you’re here turning this shit into a choke.  HEHE!  You call yourself REAL LOVE?  All you’re doing is spending time wasting your breath on child’s play.  I bet you couldn’t even tear MY training regimen apart.”

“I could definitely do that…”

But he’s gone!  Vanished!  Along with the child fan out of REAL LOVE’S face.  The sun continues to destroy my mind while I continue to protest on to earn me and the Halls OUR rights as PRIME citizens.