Why Every Wrestler Needs a LinkedIn Profile

Mike McGee sits behind an office desk, wearing his amateur protective headgear and “business casual” singlet in a pattern of a blue vest with a “Kohl’s” logo branded on top of a button down shirt. He stares at his laptop screen and starts to ponder what to type.

My name is Mike McGee. I have always excelled at everything I have ever done. I owe that to my parents, Richard and Emily of Maplewood, New Jersey.  I am their only child. They wanted more but my dad‘s seed was not potent enough to produce more. I know this because we tell each other everything.

My parents were incredibly successful people. My father was a senior Vice-president ain charge of supply chain logistics at Macy’s. That’s where I obtained my love of the fast-paced, ever changing retail industry. My mother ran the Macy’s Human Resources departmentt, which is where I learned my love of helping businesses find, develop and retain talent while providing excellent benefits to employees. Oddly, my parents did not meet at Macy’s but instead at a dog park even though they never owned a dog.

Having high achieving and wealthy parents comes with many benefits like family vacations with some of the most powerful people in the retail industry. I could have gone to one of the best public school systems in the nation but I went to even better private schools. And I went to only the best summer enrichment camps for gifted young athletes as well as those who showed the brightest potential in becoming a Human Resources professional starting at the age of eight. I have always been incredibly and the best at everything I have done.

But along with that comes the jealousies. On paper, I should have been incredibly popular in high school – an unbeatable amateur wrestler and top quality scholar. But I never connected with too many of my classmates. And my mom always said I am incredibly handsome – and I agree! But I also struggled to connect with girls even though, unlike my father, I have very potent seed. Most of that is because the people I could have been friends with and the women who I wanted to date just did not meet the impeccably high standards my parents set for me.

There also has always been a lot of pressure on my to meet those high standards. Anything less than an A was not accepted in my house. Anything less than athletic championships was not accepted in my house. Once I became of age, I also had to routinely see a doctor to ensure my seed was potent. Not meeting those standards would lead to my mom being impenetrably sad and distant and an angry Richard. No driving my first cherry red Kia Sorrento around Maplewood for me! No catered food for me! I have to be perfect!

High level amateur wrestling also means one constantly has to make weight. That is difficult when you are an elite athlete. Between that and the pressures I felt at home, I developed an eating disorder – bulimia, in fact, trying to exercise control over my body due to the control others sought over me. But I beat my male bulimia all by myself without any help at all from the psychiatrist treating me. It was just yet another thing I accomplished all by myself!

I was the best wrestler in the history of Seton Hall University and the Big East Conference, and that was when the Big East Conference meant something and before they admitted Xavier. I won NCAA championships and would have made the Olympic team if not for an unfortunate injury, the only one of my career, that took me away from qualifications. I could have wrestled for another country that would have granted me immediate citizenship like Equatorial Guinea, but I would never betray my country. I am a patriot if nothing else!

Not being able to represent this great country we call America is what set me on having more than just a professional wrestling career. It is what prompted me to graduate from the two-year Executive MBA program at the Temple University Fox School of Business and it’s highly acclaimed curriculum inspired by the cutting edge research of one Dr. Ned Reform. It is what prompted me to follow my other loves in providing Human Resources excellence to America’s greatest retail chains – Jos. A Bank, Talbot’s, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Lofts, American Aparrel, Baby Gap, TJ Maxx and of course Kohl’s.

And that is why I believe it important for ALL professional wrestlers to have a Plan B. Or to at least have a LinkedIn profile. Because I know injuries can happen. In fact, I know an injury is going to happen to Eddie Cross because I am going to injure him. He has frankly been rude to me for no reason at all since I was recruited to sign an incredibly lucrative contract here in PRIME. He is a gamer wasting his life. It is not my fault when I tear one of his knee ligaments or detach a shoulder or make him wince in daylight for the rest of his life by giving him CTE after I drop him on his head.

Because I am not here to just inspire others with my life’s journey – because aspiring to wear my knee high wrestling boots and highly sought after Human Resources advice is not something others can do. I am also here to help wrestlers plan a secondary career because there are so many ways to get injured in professional wrestling — and I plan on injuring others. 

That is why every wrestler should have a LinkedIn profile. And if they don’t have one, I will make one for them!

And, also, I want to make my parents happy.

Mike McGee smirks as he reveals the content of the laptop screen.

”Eddie Cross’s LinkedIn profile”